Ugh why did I do that with Ricardo

[Candace Baci]

So first let me start by saying I’m a disaster . A good friend of mine on CDH knows about my neighbor Ricardo and what happened on Thanksgiving while my wife was away with family. I went out for coffee that morning came home got dressed up as sexy Candy enjoyed some music in my living room when someone Ricardo enters the house ( I left the garage door open) with no where to go he sees me long story short he said it will be our little secret . We had dinner that night chatted and innocently enjoyed each other’s company . The next night he invited me over but as Candace , once again we chatted , he’s so easy to talk too ( he’s 70, in great shape ) quite the gentleman. I had one glass of wine too much and while on the couch I leaned in to kiss him. He kindly backed away and said this isn’t proper I know you love your wife and under any other circumstance nit would be different for him. I was embarrassed but thankful . He walked me home gave me a kiss on the cheek and that was that . We never discussed it again. Fast forward to two nights ago, my wife is away for the week I invite Ricardo over for dinner, asking him if he was ok with me being Candace for the evening, he actually was quite insistent. Once again we chatted laughed had wine, but I could tell something was on his mind. He said he’s been thinking about me since our last encounter and although he knows it’s not right to give him just 30 seconds to show me something. I said ok and he pulled me in and kissed me, I did not pull back engaging the entire time. He then asked me if he felt what I felt and I said what was that and he said it felt so right, I could not lie to him and told him I enjoyed it immensely. We moved to the couch we’re we proceeded to kiss again and explore things . The feel of his hand on my silky leg while he held and kissed me was like nothing I ever experienced in my entire 52 years of existence. To feel so vulnerable, sexy, seductive and safe in this mans arms was surreal. We “caressed”‘each other for sometime when I grabbed his hand and said come with me. He asked where are we going and I put my finger on his lips to shush him. I opened the door to the bedroom and that’s when this wonderful gentleman said now is not the time it is important that we just process what has transpired and leave it there for now . I thanked him , tear in eye but appreciated it so much what was I doing I loved my wife my next friend and just started to the process of letting her know about my dressing I couldn’t do this to her. The feeling of being held by Ricardo was very strong though and it was then that I knew I was most definitely at least bi-curious. I tingled , I was shaking we walked back to the couch snuggled and made out more but no further. Ricardo left a few hours later and today I ponder my actions .What have i done? At this point the least of my worries is telling my wife about my dressing . I can’t stop thinking about that wonderful feeling with Ricardo!!! What do I do ? I know it maybe hard to believe but I love my wife and wouldn’t trade her for the world , but I can’t stop thinking about being that woman the other night with Ricardo!! Ugh!!! Ugh!!

 

Candace

3 users thanked author for this post.

Jennifer Heels, Julie Carson, Ellen Jones

Topic

[Candace Baci]

Girls thanks so much for your help and support. I have learned a lot over the last week or so and will follow everyone’s consensus of suggestions not only because it came from my friends but because it’s the right thing to do . I am going to continue to work on being the best partner to my wife , my best friend and love of my life. Thank you all so much for your help it measly the world to me!!! Have a great weekend Girlies!!!

 

Hugs and Kisses Candace

1 user thanked author for this post.

Regine Rich

[Ginny Virginia]

Dear Candace,

I totally agree with my sisters here. For the sake of your marriage, which I believe is most important to you, you must put a stop to this and get Ricardo out of your head and out of your life. There will be nothing but heartbreak and ruin for all involved if you maintain this current course. You know what is in your heart; it is clear.

Good luck.

Hugs,

Ginny

2 users thanked author for this post.

Regine Rich, Candace Baci

[stephanie plumb]

Do not do it if you really do love your wife.

Do not put yourself in temptations way.

The  “ugh” tells me you know its wrong.  So stop it. It can only end badly.

3 users thanked author for this post.

Regine Rich, Candace Baci, Ginny Virginia

[Cindy Lou]

You are on my friends list and I’m going to advise you as I would a friend Candace. You are on the precipice of an uncontrollably slippery slope, you need to appreciate how very close you are to going down an inexorable path that will most likely end your marriage. Tread with extreme caution and deep thought. Good luck to you.

3 users thanked author for this post.

Regine Rich, Candace Baci, Ginny Virginia

[Bettylou Cox]

Hi Candace,

IMO, the important thing for you to keep in mind is what you DIDN’T DO, although you did get too close for comfort. What you did was remain faithful to your wife; for that, be thankful.
I can’t comment on your sexual identity conflict, but I expect we all have at least once been tempted to stray at some time, and had to resist the temptation. For the sake of your family, I hope you can avoid future temptations.

Hugs,
Bettylou

3 users thanked author for this post.

Regine Rich, Candace Baci, Ellen Jones

[Dawn Wyvern]

Hi Candace,

First, let me say that there is nothing wrong with talking about sexual desire and preference as it relates to crossdressing.

It is perfectly acceptable to say “I am attracted to women” or “I am attracted to men, but only when I crossdress” or similar general comments. In order to keep this site functioning the way it was intended to, I am going to ask you all to refrain from discussing specific sexual practices, techniques or results in the replies to this thread.

We have requested this from you before Candace, so please ensure you keep things on track.

I appreciate your help in keeping CDH a sanctuary for us girls

That you !

Dawn  (Admin)

8 users thanked author for this post.

Lorena Rouge, Ginny Virginia, Cindy Lou, Ellen Jones, Regine Rich, Julie Shaw, Stevie Steiner, Laura Lovett

[Candace Baci]

Dawn

I am so very sorry and embarrassed, I promise to make sure that any future posts will never infer anything “out of bounds “. I have been so very fortunate to not only make some great friends but get some very helpful , sage advice that has and will continue to help me during my journey. Once again I apologize and wish everyone a great weekend!!

Sincerely

Candace

3 users thanked author for this post.

Ellen Jones, Regine Rich, Dawn Wyvern

[Emily Alt]

Tough love here Candace.  You can’t have it both ways.  If you love your wife and want to stay with her, you have to end it now with Ricardo.  Ditto for future temptations with anyone else.  Don’t go there.  If you get caught, or tell her of your newfound desire, you can expect a divorce.  She’ll probably hate your guts too.  You need to be REALLY sure this is something you want.  It’ll get ugly.  Good luck.

6 users thanked author for this post.

Cindy Lou, Ellen Jones, Caroline OBrien, Regine Rich, rhonda, Stevie Steiner

[Jennifer McCrennaugh]

Oh Candace,

Please think this through. Unless you’re willing to destroy your marriage. If you continue, even if your wife never, ever  finds out this WILL poison your relationship. Since you posted this I will assume you are seeking advice. Here is mine. Stop it cold. Certainly never be around him as Candace again and never be alone with him again. This may seem difficult or harsh but think of the life-long pain you could bring to yourself and others who you love. Is it worth it? We all make mistakes honey, all of us, without exception. But at some point they cease to be mistakes and become choices. Be so careful.

5 users thanked author for this post.

Cindy Lou, Ellen Jones, Regine Rich, rhonda, Stevie Steiner

[Kitty Van Curen]

Wow. Oh boy! What a predicament. He was very gentlemanly to behave the way he did though. It sounds as if though you might not be as committed to your wife as it appears. It can be a seductive experience to feel something towards the opposite gender when being femme, I’m familiar with that myself, but it’s a dangerous line you’re walking here. There’s much to be lost and feelings to be very hurt. I’d honestly leave it at that for now. No discussions, no confessions and from time to time, if the ‘need’ is there to express with this man, then when the time is right.

There’s much to unpack here and it’s obvious there’s more going on here than may appear. Just tread carefully, take some time to let tings sink in with that encounter and most importantly, don’t open up about this even though the urge may be strong. The fallout from your wife most likely WILL ruin your life.

I wish you the best.

x kvc x

5 users thanked author for this post.

Bettylou Cox, Cindy Lou, Ellen Jones, Regine Rich, Candace Baci

[Author]

Replies