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just curious if anyone had this surgery done and how it went. Planning on doing this still November 15th just was told by Dr and reading more about it the procedure and healing takes awhile. Know my dr told me min of 4 months up to 6 months before can get back to be sexual active. Plus in the meantime using dilators 3 times a day 30 mins each time. Kinda getting cold feet as the days get closer. Wanting or like to have some opinions.
Would you go for it or no
Hugs
DonnaWell, honestly, I cannot say whether SRS will be beneficial for you or not. That decision rests on so many complex and misunderstood factors that it becomes a very private and tricky decision. The questions I would ask are, “Are you always internally feminine?”, and, “Do you want to be seen legally, physiologically and in terms of your ideal self as a woman?” Is the desire to be female so strong that you see it as a (or almost as a) life or death situation.
One problem is that most people, who report after the process of transitioning, claim to be ecstatically happy but those who were not probably would not report. Even so, I sense from acquaintances and anecdotes that the degree of regret is proportionally low. Maybe less that %10.
Another frequent opinion expressed is that once one steps on the transition path there is a feeling of relief, assurance and rightness. These are desperately needed as the process, while easier today, has not been easy for many. The challenges are daunting and require enormous courage to overcome. The dilators are the least of it, although it will be initially necessary and there are reports of blinding pain at the beginning. Just saying!
I suspect that part of your qualms are based on the premise that you got so far that you feel obliged to go all the way (as the actress said to the bishop) but you are uncertain as to whether you actually want to cross the relative point-of-no-return. This is a serious question. Do not allow any sense of obligation force you to initiate anything that is fairly significant and life-altering. Just saying!
On the other hand, I have a vague feeling based on, oh, I don’t know, woman’s intuition? I think you would make a wonderful lady. So, if your reluctance is based on your fear of not being able to live up to the rather over-whelming responsibilities of being a woman and I can offer a minute degree of support motivating you to do the right thing, well! I have long believed that transition should be done soberly and patiently but as soon as possible. Just saying!
I note that you do not expressly outline your concerns.
Araminta.
Thank you Araminta I do wanting all that as for surgery knowing outcome can be tricky like say life or death. And really believe willing to take that chance. Gone this far need to go all the way. Or I know will be kicking myself for rest of life for not doing it. Guess instead of thinking of others around me need to think of what I want. Know long road of recovery but will it be worth it. I suppose listening to My Dr and then reading things on net about all this the pros and cons and the fails gets to a person need to stop looking at it all. and go through it. Really do deep down want to do it no matter what. Thank you really open my eyes on all this. And 99.99 % going to do it. Wanting to be the woman that dreamt to be.
Hugs
Donnayes it would, My final outcome is to be a legally woman once the surgery is done and able to start the paper work process on all the legal papers from Birth Cert to driver lic. Know in my state all is needed is proof of surgery and fee and can change the birth cert to female. Then been a big dream of doing since younger age to be a legal female.
Donna
Wow, Donna! I’m so excited for you.
I had bottom surgery on Friday. Well, it was bottom surgery in that it was on the bottom half of my body. Hernia repair. It had given me no pain & no issues prior to surgery, but the doctor said it’s better to have it done now, while I’m still relatively young than to wait until I’m older & have issues. Right up until they knocked me out, I was having second thoughts, so I understand any apprehensions that you have.
But I’m thrilled with how it all went. The doctor gave an Rx for pain. What pain? Except for when I cough, there is none. My only disappointment is that I didn’t wake up with a vagina.
All I can tell you is that, if I had the opportunity, I’d do a vaginoplasty in a heartbeat, but like some others have mentioned, I’m married & she is my whole world. I made a commitment to her & won’t let her down.
But if you have no male commitments, I recommend that you go full speed ahead. We’re all here to support you. As I said, I’m excited for you– and jealous.
Prayers,
Dawn
Thank you so much Dawn glad to hear your bottom surgery went well. As for male commintents none at all. Know ready to lose the male package and get a fem package. Know the old saying suppose no pain no gain. Also know will not last forever. What 4 months to 6 months to wait for other things.
Hugs
Donna
I said no for a couple of reasons, putting my marriage aside for a minute:
1) I’m a bit afraid of surgery
2) I’m not bothered by having a penis enough to overcome #1
If there was a magic pill, I’d probably have taken it when I was 12 though.
— Abbie 🥰
You know Abbie feel same way many times. To bad don’t have a pill can take and next day wake up as female. Would done it when was 5
Donna
Good luck and God speed, Donna!
I would vote if there was a “Maybe” box!
I like Abbie’s answer, though.
💓 Barb
Thank you Barb and know abbie right as well as Araminta. Believe the choice should do it. Keep saying needing it and wanting it. As for length of time to take no matter knowing have the support from all my family and friends locally and then all the ladies here. Thank you
Donna
Whatever you decide, Donna, you are awesome! You were one of the first to welcome me here at CDH and I will never forget it!
❤️ Barb
Aww thank you so much Barb know you awesome as well as all the ladies here
Hugs
Donna
It is natural for you to have reservations. The term ‘procedure’ is a very soft way of describing what is quite extensive surgery and clearly your discussions with the surgeon has opened your eyes to what is ahead. I have looked at many testimonials and the surgery itself. It is a daunting prospect and, it has to be said, not without risks. It is the same with any intrusive surgery.
Araminta has written some very wise words which I agree with wholeheartedly. If you decide you want to have a rethink and cancel the surgery they will understand, it wouldn’t be the first time it has happened. Perhaps defer it until you have sorted out the doubts.
It must be your choice and yours alone and do not concede to pressure, yours, those perceived or any one elses. You know what it would mean to you and if it makes you the person you want to be. I understand how you feel and there is also the pressure of time as the surgery is close.
Perhaps you could take yourself away for day somewhere calm and have a good think. If you have a good friend who you can talk to , or at, as should be the case that could be an idea. Sometimes if I have an issue I write the whole lot down in one go. I walk away and leave it then read it. That helps me and has solved a lot of issues as it is amazing what is inside the head.
I am sure you will make the decision and know you have the support of the girls here.
A big hug for a very brave girl.
Thank you so much Angela really are right and know will do the right thing. Know as the date comes closer sometimes get those butterflies. but know be good when day come and wake up in recovery. Just have the pain meds filled.
Thank you Angela Know what need to be done. for sure. Been talking with friends all day almost about it and they feel same way.
Donna
Dear Donna ,
I’m afraid I cannot answer that for you.
I’m a Crossdresser myself ( getting the androgynous-transgenderist outcome from the Cogiati and S.A.G.E. test wich I think discribes me very well ).
But I am not a Transsexual , so for me , a vaginoplasty is not even on the horizon.I think you know deep down if this is right for YOU , so asking about what others would do is irrelevant i’m afraid.
I think it is normal to get cold feet before such a decisive undertaking , and that could be just it , but only you can be the judge of that !
Just know that whatever your decision is going to be , I think all the girls here are going to be 100% behind you no matter what Future you choose for yourself.
So if you are going to do some soul searching the coming days , I think the answer will become clear to you.
I am wishing you all the strength , wisdom and courage you can possibly have in the coming days.
Know that we Love you Donna !Sylvia.💋💋
Thank you so much Sylvia know you right about that believe anything that coming up kinda gives a person those feelings. Know be good just glad to have some pep talk with all you ladies makes things feel better and mind at ease.
Love you all
Hugs
Donna
Thank you ALice Know will have plenty of support then and now.
Hugs
Donna
well donna i want to wish you positive thoughts and all goes well. look forward to hearing how you are doing after. please feel free to send me any private messages about everything. stay strong and you go girl
Thank you so much Danielle sure will
Hugs
Donna
Donna,
Only you know what is right for you. What others think or would or wouldn’t do is not important.
Do what your heart tells you is the right thing to do!Thank you Lexie knowing my heart says to do it. I am one that will not feel sorry for myself if don’t determined to be who always wanted to be.
Hugs
Donna
[postquote quote=569721]
Donna,We are all here for you and support you 100% in your decision.
I will pray that the surgery goes extremely well and you will heal very quickly!Thank you once again Lexi Know have a strong well and do have a quick healing process.
Hugs
Donna
Donna;
You have some great answers here, and I’m not sure I can add a great deal. It needs to be your choice as it is such a game changing decision. Reading your responses I’m thinking perhaps you are on the proper path, but it is your body, so your choice and no question about that.
For me, I don’t think that is my path, though I confess there are times when I wish I was more physically feminine. My wife is accepting and supportive of my dressing but she did say once that if I were to transition it would be a bridge too far for her.
She is my best friend and soul mate for so long now I don’t want to loose her, nor do I want to cause her unneeded pain.
I wish you well, and I’m sure you will let us know how it goes.
Amy
Thank you Amy mind is made up going to do it something be dreaming of for long time.
Hugs
Donna
Hi Donna, getting cold feet is understandable! But remember, several weeks of discomfort versus years of dysphoria and feeling “what if?”
Besides, you need to show us how it’s done, GF! If anyone should have this done, it’s you!! Whatever you decide, though, just make sure it’s what you want and not what someone else says you should or shouldn’t do. We’re all behind you and want the best for you!!
Hugs and kisses,
Brielle
Thank you Brielle you right what few weeks to few months of little pain. Been living with this dysphoria for long time and time to make it right. Know never a quitter for anything. Will show everyone how to do it. in the meantime sure wish there was a way to to have something on all time till surgery just to get the feel.
Hugs
DonnaThank you Brielle you right what few weeks to few months of little pain. Been living with this dysphoria for long time and time to make it right. Know never a quitter for anything. Will show everyone how to do it. in the meantime sure wish there was a way to to have something on all time till surgery just to get the feel.
Hugs
Donna
Hi Donna,
I wish you the absolute best of luck with your surgery! It sounds like you have really already made up your mind what is right for you. I think it is very normal to get nervous before any complex surgery, and when it’s elective, that can cause you to doubt your choices.
There is a wonderful young woman on YouTube that has shared pretty much her entire journey of becoming a woman. She discusses very detail of her surgery, the dilation process, and every other detail you can think of. Look up Maya Henry.
I hope that helps.
Love, Lara
Thank you Lara believe seen her video and right she does go into some detail on the procedures. Been watching many last few days. and then reading stories of ones getting it done. Know was little nervous whene done facial surgery but done it was peace of cake. besides bandages and such looking like a partial mummy for awhile.
Hugs
DonnaThank you Lara believe seen her video and right she does go into some detail on the procedures. Been watching many last few days. and then reading stories of ones getting it done. Know was little nervous whene done facial surgery but done it was peace of cake. besides bandages and such looking like a partial mummy for awhile.
Hugs
Donna
Donna,
As you know my prayers are with you that you will follow your heart for the decision that is “right”
for you… your part 1 surgery, I understand went as as expected….and you were able to work and your co-workers were so supportive..you are aware of part 2 post operative discipline of dilators 3x 30 mins/day which I know you are up to the “feelings” to be the woman you dreamt to be”.
If I can overcome debilitating spinal surgery and endure 9 weeks of inpatient physical & occupational therapy (loss strength in arms & legs) .. finally when I got home my own therapy was managing pantyhose and dresses lol.; I am sure you can fulfill your dream …
My prayers are with you Donna and wish you the best
Hugs, LeonaraThank you so much Leonara know this one is be kinda laid up for awhile at least 6 weeks before doing any kind of light duty work. Then 6 weeks later could start doing little extra. Just need to figure out and to let my employer know the situation once get to the poiint and then of course the privite time needed for doing the dilation. Be kinda embarrassing but they have to understand. Do have enough time to take off being paid for 3 months of pay. Which is a good thing.
Oh congrats on your past surgery also and able to handle things.
Hugs
Donna
I don’t know that I can answer your questions Dear Donna, but know that you have all my love and support.
My lovely niece is about two years ahead of you on the same path. I know her recovery was long and sometimes difficult but her happiness now outweighs all that she went through. I have so much respect for hers and your bravery.
I know that you will enjoy the same happiness and peace that my niece has found.
C❤️
Thank you Clara. Sounds like your niece is very happy with the outcome. and the rewards will come.
Hugs
Donna
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I said no, but that is just me and my situation. I can completely understand others that want to have it done, so please don’t take my no vote as a ‘don’t do it’. You and ONLY YOU can make this decision. Please know that we’re all here for you and will support you whatever way you go!!
*kisses* tara 🙂
P.S. I’m sorry that I didn’t read the entire thread before posting. I’m sure I’m just echoing sentiment that’s already been stated because this is such a wonderful community!
Thank you so much Tara pretty well decieded on going through it. No male comminents. Know everyone family friends and all the ladies here giving me support to. 8 days from today be a new woman.
Hugs Donna
I haven’t had bottom surgery and it’s not something I’m thinking of ATM. But I can’t rule it out either. My journey has taken me way further than I ever expected. When I got real 6+ years ago I identified as a CD. Eventually gender fluid seemed like a better label. Now I consider myself trans. I started estradiol valerate injections 9 weeks ago. Who knows where I’ll be in a year.
FWIW Donna, I think you’ll have better luck finding first hand accounts of GCS on Transgender Heaven. Might want to post your question there.
Best of luck to you sweetie. You got this!
Hugs, Emily
Thank you Emily believe in my heart is this what I want and know down the road be more happier then am now.
Hugs
Donna
Its only days, away now, Donna.
I didnt vote, as for me its a maybe, but from all you have said in your posts since I have known you, I truly believe it is the right choice for you.
As the others have stated, its your choice, and your alone, though, and I think you already know what you want it’s just the cold feet kicking in, which is to be expected.
We will all be thinking of you, and here to support you, whichever you finally decide.
Hugs, Regi👸💖Thank you so much Regina knowing 8 days from now be the woman wanted to be for long time. After this continue my HRT treatment for the rest of transition.
Hugs
Donna
Hi Donna, There is one small detail that hasn’t been mentioned here,to some an important one. If you do have the surgery please stay on CDH and not defect to TGH! You have been giving us honest and simple updates of your surgeries and progress which helps a lot of girls here to make decisions of their own and is an invaluable source of information.
Thoughts, hugs and best wishes to continuing your dream.
Thank you so much Angela and of course going to stay on CDH fixing to open a account to other side also. but no worries will keep updating my journey here also
Hugs
Donna
I’m praying for you, Donna.
Regarding your question, I’m a CD who has only considered living full-time as a woman within the past few years. I’ve thought about feminizing HRT and surgery, but am not in a situation where I have to seriously consider either of them yet. I could imagine myself doing it, but that is all at this point.
Thank you so much Stephanie
Hugs Donna
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I voted no because I’m way too old for that. That opportunity wasn’t even thought of back then so my path was forced down a very narrow road. Who knows what I would have decided if I had that opportunity and the support of family and friends.
Donna, from reading your posts since I joined CDH and in this thread, its obvious this is something you need to do for your own mental health. Go for it girl! I think you are so brave and will make a beautiful sweet girl for all the people in your life. I know you will be at peace and happier. I’m a bit nervous about your long recovery so I hope you the very best and speediest recovery possible. The upside for us here at CDH is that during all that time of your recovery, hopefully, you will be posting here more often… more Donna!
Thank you Michelle and you right something really need to do and have to do or may end up more crazier then am now. Knowing the first few days pain be intense and know have to stay in hosiptal for 5 days min. then the fun starts after 2 weeks of using those dilators. 6 more days and dream will be real.
Dr said surgery will last for about 8 hours. be under.
Hugs
Donna
Once it’s gone it’s never coming back. No second guessing. The door is closed. For me, that’s a little too permanent and scary. Blaire White has several interviews on her YouTube page with people who now regret transitioning. Some of their stories are heartbreaking.
Be safe. Love and Peace.
Amber
Oh I know Amber Didn’t care for it anyways wanting to be a true woman. And know far fetch dream also to maybe get the extra things added later on when medical can do it. If not to late. like ovaries and such.
Oh believe me Amber seen those stories and succss stories. Plus do have faith in my surgeon and seen all his success stories from past patients.
Hugs
Donna
Congrats Flowers be praying for a safe procedure for you then. Keep us all updated. 22nd I should be going home then what Dr said.
Hugs
Donna
Donna, I intend to be coming down this path not too far behind you.
One thing I do know, this will be probably THE biggest decision you are going to have to make. No one in your life can make it, and only you will know in your heart if it is what is right for you.
Be assured, burning that bridge or not, we are all here for you and will stand with you, no matter which way you decide.
PaulaF
Thank you Paula I know and choice is yes going through with it. Know once gone not coming back. well not the original. Know be fine and thanks to the support from all the ladies here and then my family and friends locally and support from BF made mind at ease. Paula when your time comes know we will all be there for you too.
Hugs
Donna
I had to think hard on this one. There would be a circumstance I would go for surgery. If illness or injury caused total loss of function I would go for it. I suppose I should feel bad about it at that point but I think I’d honestly be excited about it. Bad circumstances turning into a changed life. Lemonade from bananas so to speak.
This reply will not directly address your question. At my age (76), I believe I am way past the medically prudent procedure. That being said, I would definitely do like you and seriously examine all of the pros and cons and if the pros are more compelling, go ahead have the procedure done.
Best wishes with whatever decision you make.
Hugs
MP
Thank you so much Mary been going with pros and cons and seems like pros wins. Due to something wanted since small kid. and growing up. Wanting my body to match as much as my internal feelings. Know can’t have it all . but will be at calm somewhat hoping and praying one day could get the internal plumping fully before older age. Know far fetch dream but could be possible.
Hugs
Donna
I don’t feel a need to have surgery, but that’s because I’m afraid needles and all that. I think everyone should do what’s best for them, as long as they’re happy in the end. I wish the best of luck and happiness to anyone considering surgery!
Thank you Hun do know going under the knife come Monday A do or die journey must take.
Hugs
DonnaHi Donna!
No worries, I understand.
I’ve had friends transition before.
I’ll definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers,
good luck on Monday,
and please keep us updated!
Thanx for sharing your journey!
-Margeaux <3
HI Margeaux
Thank you so much thinking of my new beginning as life as a woman coming soon. Be happy to be rid of the male shell. and to show my inner fem feelings on the outside too. Will definitly do my best once able to get back online and give some updates on my recovery and healing process.
Hugs
Donna
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Hi Donna.
I have never been able to communicate with a trans person who is determined to take it as far as possible. Thank you. I try to keep up with you because you are such an inspiration to all of us who can only imagine what you are going through. You share yourself freely with us here and I can only imagine the near and far term impact you have on our alt lifestyle and anyone who follows your story. Thank you dear. I was really surprised when I read about your job…. a rough neck dock worker in the oil business?… WOW! You are an amazing person and so lucky to have an employer who supports you so much. I know the procedures aren’t inexpensive. You have abundant grit and stamina which I admire.
You seem to have everything going for you and I truly hope you find complete happiness. It would be too sad if you did not. Its a short life for all of us to be unhappy. I and all here will be holding our breaths Monday when you are under the knife. Collectively we send good vibes and cosmic energy your way.
Thank you Michelle will keep everyone updated for sure. Or at least to a degree that don’t cross a line.
Just know something have to do no if and buts. Know pain be somewhat problem but nothing like the pain been feeling since little.
Hugs
Donna
I am somehow excited for you. I have no intention of transitioning but the thought of doing so is somehow fulfilling. I hope everything works out great and wish you a speedy recovery
Thank you Michelle Know how you feel some of my local friends saying same thing. Some saying wishing was me too. The transitioning for me is something wanted and dreamed of and finally happening. Wishing it was earlier age. But Dr. says have lots of life left and all vitals are great.
Hugs
Donna
Thank you Fiona like you wish could have done all this at earlier age. But supposly the medical was not really available at that time. Or at least the more modern type of today.
Hugs
Donnathank you Holly and sissy and my medical thanks you all. be in good hands.
Hugs
Donna
Thank you so much all set for go time in 6 days from now. little butterflies but wanting to be the woman that meant to be.
Donna
You so right Angela. Know when wake up in recovery monday will be the woman.
Hugs
Donna
Thank you know feeling same way but know my dream is finally here soon. A new adventure awaits once healed up.
Donna
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