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Hi everyone,
My name is…well what really is it? and I am…I used to find it easy to say what I was. You know? The days when you could just simply tick male or female easily, the innocence of being a child. I don’t really know what I am. My life has constantly given different idea, people given me different thoughts about who or what I AM as an individual, as a person and what I truly want out of life. I’m 17 years old (that’s something I know 😂) and I have consistently questioned my gender and my identity. Throughout all of this, I’ve kept face for my family and friends until I decided to tell my best friend who has basically been my sister that I like wearing female clothes. I love dresses. I like skirts a lot. And I don’t know why.
Guys aren’t meant to be interested in female clothing beyond getting it off some girl’s body, especially during stereotypical teenage years, but the truth is, as a guy I’ve always felt like something was missing. I believed that maybe it was a girlfriend, (and yeah, I still haven’t gotten that, lonely forever), but then I read all these articles about being happy as yourself. Being accepting of yourself because before someone else can be accepting of you, you have to be happy with who you are. And so I went back to somewhere I thought I had left in the past when I played the ugly stepsister in a school production of Cinderella. I thought I had left that in the past, all of it, but all I could think about was dresses and skirts. And so now I’m closeted to my family, when my parents are out, I transform into Violet…and I don’t know if I want to be her. I do feel free when I’m her though, I feel like no one in the world can hurt me. Yes, my cross dressing hasn’t gone too far, I use socks as breasts and don’t shave anything except my face, wearing my mother’s dresses. My best friend thinks I think like a girl so does that mean I am transgender secretly? I just have no idea of my place in the world, the sadness for constantly being rejected will only go up from admitting that I am a crossdresser because the amount of potential partners will go even lower than before. Does that mean I shouldn’t follow this because that has always been my number one dream? And I still don’t feel comfortable being Violet around ANYONE, so does that mean I just have cool feet, or that this is a mistake?
Im sorry for flooding this post with questions. The truth is, I have no idea what the answers are (or more importantly, what I want them to be).
Thanks for reading,
HHi Violet, Welcome to CD Heaven and thanks for your great introduction. Here you will be whoever you say you are and Violet is just fine with me, I like the name.
Most of your questions can be answered by the girls here but some can only be answered by you when you get the right information.
I am unsure of the site policy on minors but you may have to wait until you can tell us that you are 18 before we can help you. I wish you well on your journey of self discovery and I look forward to chatting to you soon.
Hugs
SherylHello violet yes you are a minor but you write as if you are older. We at CDH have to be careful talking to you. Welcome join in our chats.it is not easy being a cd . you have to learn when where who you can tell about being cd so be careful. It’s the life we live and the road we travel and your journey is just beginning. I hope your journey is a happy one .Hugs, jennifer
Hi again Violet, I do remember being a young cross dresser and thinking I was the only one in the world but that was before the internet came along. It was a very lonely time for me, just wishing there was someone to talk to about what I was thinking. You can contact me on email at shez99@hotmail.com if you need to chat.
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