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  • #407273
    Suma Sree
    Participant
    Registered On: November 16, 2020
    Topics: 2
    Replies: 0
    Has thanked: 28 times
    Been thanked: 34 times

    Hi girls,

    This may be one of the most common questions or scenarios that all of us might have come across at some point in our journey. I was planning to consult a therapist and I was preparing myself to talk to her openly about what was happening with me. There were a couple of questions that started bothering me. Please do remember, this is not coming from the therapist but from me.

    1) What if you are given a chance to be dressed as a woman 24*7? Would you be accepting your current life as is?

    2) What is the main reason for you to be a girl? Is it just about the way you want to dress?

    3) What do you do after being a woman? I generally spend my time doing some house chores, but I wanted to know how you spend your time. After all, being a girl is not just about looking beautiful all the time. There’s so much more.

    4) What if you are given a chance to go out and meet someone when you are dressed? Would you feel excited and nervous or would you pass up that offer?

    Please add your answers and also any additional questions that generally pops up in your mind.

Viewing 11 reply threads
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    • #408841
      Kelly Terry
      Lady
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 169
      Has thanked: 157 times
      Been thanked: 668 times

      1) What if you are given a chance to be dressed as a woman 24*7? Would you be accepting your current life as is?
      Depends on what “given a chance” involves. If it basically mean as much impact on everyone as when a women put on some pants then maybe.

      2) What is the main reason for you to be a girl? Is it just about the way you want to dress?
      Yes, to me clothes is the main/only reason. If I was a women that wasn’t allowed to dress in skirt/heels and such then it would be no point to me.

      3) What do you do after being a woman?
      Nothing differently than when in drab. I don’t change anything but my clothes.

      4) What if you are given a chance to go out and meet someone when you are dressed? Would you feel excited and nervous or would you pass up that offer?
      Depends on why/what. If as a date/hookup – no way, not interested in that at all. If go to a meetup with 5-10 other crossdressers for a potluck, BBQ or so then yes I would go (anyone else around ottawa canada who would go ?)

      Additional questions I asked my self:
      – if you could be a women full time but you can’t dress for it (=just drab clothes), would you go for it?
      My answer – nope, missing the whole point of doing it.

      – if no stigma about cd, if putting on a dress and makeup as a man would be as strange as for a women to put on jeans and a t-shirt, would you still do it or does “being allowed” make it loose it’s appeal? And if yes how often?
      My answer – probably still yes and probably go out more but not full time.

      /kt

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #408760
      Fiona Shrek
      Lady
      Registered On: September 18, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 15
      Has thanked: 45 times
      Been thanked: 39 times

      1. No

      2. No idea

      3. Whatever I normally do

      4. Nervously excited

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #408382
      Bobbi Sue
      Registered On: September 15, 2020
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 114
      Has thanked: 142 times
      Been thanked: 724 times

      Hi girls,

      This may be one of the most common questions or scenarios that all of us might have come across at some point in our journey. I was planning to consult a therapist and I was preparing myself to talk to her openly about what was happening with me. There were a couple of questions that started bothering me. Please do remember, this is not coming from the therapist but from me.

      1) What if you are given a chance to be dressed as a woman 24*7? Would you be accepting your current life as is?

      2) What is the main reason for you to be a girl? Is it just about the way you want to dress?

      3) What do you do after being a woman? I generally spend my time doing some house chores, but I wanted to know how you spend your time. After all, being a girl is not just about looking beautiful all the time. There’s so much more.

      4) What if you are given a chance to go out and meet someone when you are dressed? Would you feel excited and nervous or would you pass up that offer?

      Please add your answers and also any additional questions that generally pops up in your mind.

      1)  Yes, I’d like to be female 24/7.   No, being accepted isn’t likely.   I’d loose my job, most friends, and probably some family.

      2) I’ve always wished I was female.   The attention, the clothes, the friendships.   It fits.

      3) I sleep or go to work.   Sometimes I work on my house not dressed.  No point ruining good clothes!

      4) I go out, but not to meet anyone in particular.  This weekend I’m meeting some GG friends, but that’s super rare.  If you mean go on a date, I just don’t see that ever happening.    They usually just want to tap my ass, but I’m not into that.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #408349
      Sharon Wiltshire
      Lady
      Registered On: July 27, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 80
      Has thanked: 770 times
      Been thanked: 464 times

      You could try one of the gender identity workbooks, or one of the books for counsellors to look at what questions to ask yourself.  There are plenty on Amazon.

      I recently worked myself through :

      You and Your Gender Identity : a guide to discovery, by Dara Hoffman-Fox

      which I found useful

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #408331
      Bianca Everdene
      Lady
      Registered On: April 11, 2017
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 642
      Has thanked: 2399 times
      Been thanked: 2408 times

      Hi Suma

      I have seen a therapist recently. Not looking for a cure or reason, just someone to talk to face to face about the burgeoning femininity bursting out of me. She is very good. I find myself asking rhetorical questions, and in the next breath answering them. ‘Why do I do it? It just feels so natural, and right’

      And she is giving me nothing but encouragement to be me, at my own pace. She seems totally cool with it.

      The only problem is I’m worried it’s turning into a bit of a fashion show for me. ‘What will I wear next time?’ Guess it’s a bit like having a friend (paid) just to talk things through face to face in a comfortable accepting atmosphere.

      Well worth it for me. I know deep down it is not wrong, know the barriers that exist, both internally and externally, and know the answers to my questions, but still very validating to talk these things through.

      ❤️B

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #408282
      rebekka moore
      Lady
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
      Topics: 77
      Replies: 867
      Has thanked: 436 times
      Been thanked: 1737 times

      All I can say is, read what all the others have said.

      (I never only say one thing!:)

      We all have had an will continue to have, similar questions.  After my talk with my SO last night it comes down to making very tough personal choices, that in my case involve my SO.

      Depending on what I decide there is a good chance my SO may not want to be/stay involved depending on the decision(s) I make.  What is really hard about that is then, ‘it’s all my fault”.

      I guess I will say this;

      – If you are single and have no ties to anyone or anything my suggestion to you would be to explore and experience everything about crossdressing you can.  Be safe of course, but follow your feelings and desires.  You may regret it at some point if you do not.

      Love and Hugs,

      Rebecka

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #408271
      Shana Mac
      Baroness
      Registered On: November 4, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 52
      Has thanked: 213 times
      Been thanked: 183 times

      I’ve seen many therapists over the years good and terrible ( not for cross dressing) and the best advice I can give is this; first is that your first visit with a therapist is basically an interview. You may not like or feel comfortable with that person and feeling comfortable with your therapist is the most important thing. Next that being said don’t reveal/ unload everything on your first visit just in case it’s not a good fit. The second most important thing after you have one you feel comfortable with is to be completely honest otherwise you are wasting your money and both of your time.

      Never go into therapy with predetermined answers to questions you think they may ask it only muddies the water so to speak. Most of the time a good therapist isn’t going to ask you the questions you think they are. Other than the standard intake/ new patient stuff.

      I hope this helps doll. Good luck.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #407448
      Grace Scarlett
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: July 26, 2020
      Topics: 50
      Replies: 1429
      Has thanked: 6653 times
      Been thanked: 7923 times

      Hello Suma

      I’m no therapist, and I have never seen one, so this is just my take on it.

      The course your crossdressing will take you is a lot to do with circumstances. Hundreds of girls on here, although having a similar goal, will achieve the end result in a myriad of different ways, simply because of the way they live their lives currently. Married, single,living alone, part of a big family, out, or closetted will all lead to a different approach to how you proceed….all I will add is what other girls have said…mainly, be honest, because if you are not, i imagine it’s a total waste of time and money seeing a therapist…..and ANY type of expert can only help if they know the true facts.

      just the thoughts of grace xx

    • #407431
      Christine Fun
      Lady
      Registered On: August 24, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 16
      Has thanked: 98 times
      Been thanked: 139 times

      It seems like you are participating in the adventure.  Asking the questions is a good start. The speed and distance is up to you. My adventure has taken me past the questions and dreams sometime do come true. So dream on and keep asking the questions. I wish you well on your adventure.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #407388
      Robyn Devine
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 24, 2020
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 516
      Has thanked: 1617 times
      Been thanked: 2228 times

      Suma

      A good therapist (especially one qualified to discuss crossdressing) isn’t going to give you the answers per se…

      They’re going to find out about you and ask questions to help guide you and help YOU find the answer.

      Just like the girls have said. One…go in with a clean and positive open mind.  Two…and this is a BIGGIE…answer their questions HONESTLY.  If you dont answer their questions honestly, then you arent quite being honest with yourself or them…and you’ll steer yourself in the wrong direction.

      Take a deep breath and relax, they want to help you!

      Robyn

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #407373
      Jase Morgan
      Lady
      Registered On: November 13, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 16
      Has thanked: 63 times
      Been thanked: 112 times

      Ask yourself what you are wanting to achieve. How far do you want to evolve right now? Not the “ifs” and “what’abouts” that may or may not happen. Smaller steps lead to bigger strides down the road. Part of your scenarios read as if they have expectations which lead to resentments if or when your plans go awry. Stay in the moment and go into therapy with an open mind, let the therapist ask the questions.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #407301
      Amanda Burton
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: January 15, 2020
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 853
      Has thanked: 6700 times
      Been thanked: 3248 times

      My advice Suma, if you are about to consult a Therapist, make sure it’s one that is qualified in the subject of Crossdressing. Two go into it with an open mind, and stop worrying about what you think you may be asked or the answers you think you should have. Or what activities is right if your en femme. You can do anything regardless of dress. How your journey progresses will depend on numerous factors, and what your alternate goal is, this may change as your journey unfolds, like many of use we are at different levels of femininity that we are comfortable with in our life’s structures. The fundamental first issue is be completely at ease and self acceptance that you are a Crossdresser, and move forward from there slowly.

      7 users thanked author for this post.
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