Viewing 25 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #612736
      MelanieElizabeth
      Lady
      Registered On: January 9, 2021
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 192
      Has thanked: 529 times
      Been thanked: 1220 times

      I want to preface this by thanking the mods here on cdh. Don’t retake this wrong but Ive had enough drama in my life!  I’m a forty something cd who in the last year since joining with the help of this community has been able to find a level of peace I never dreamed of. Im sad when ever someone leaves because it’s a loss to our whole community. We are stronger together, petty differences shouldnt get in the way of us helping each other along this journey. I cringe when I think about where I’d be without the support I’ve found here! I don’t know where all this drama is coming from specifically but let’s try to hold it together for our own sakes.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #612739
        Carole Corbett
        Ambassador
        Registered On: September 5, 2016
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 62
        Has thanked: 78 times
        Been thanked: 235 times

        Well said Melanie.  I feel the same way!

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #612480
      Val’sheril Starsong
      Lady
      Registered On: March 3, 2019
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 428
      Has thanked: 322 times
      Been thanked: 1071 times

      CDs spook easily, but they’ll be back, and in greater numbers. 😉

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #612685
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 190
        Has thanked: 351 times
        Been thanked: 829 times

        Tuskens.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #612684
        Brandie Knox
        Lady
        Registered On: October 6, 2020
        Topics: 59
        Replies: 92
        Has thanked: 759 times
        Been thanked: 1310 times

        HA, I see what you did there props to you.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #612407
      Brandie Knox
      Lady
      Registered On: October 6, 2020
      Topics: 59
      Replies: 92
      Has thanked: 759 times
      Been thanked: 1310 times

      I found this site while leaving another that shall remain nameless. There was this on Admin that would be on me all the time I posted something about leggings. The admin was first to comment ” Im glad you didn’t post a pic with this cause I would hate to delete this post like all your others.” I replied cause I hate bully’s and got suspended. Years later I found this site and forgot the other one. I wasn’t out of the closet so I would set up a profile and delete later. Now that im out I love this sit and the admins never had a problem here and here to stay. It feels like an extended family and everyone on here is friendly and lift each other up. The other site after remembering it I logged back in and tried but the admin found me again so I deleted my profile and moved on to this wonderful site.

    • #612352
      BillieJay
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: September 21, 2018
      Topics: 1177
      Replies: 220
      Has thanked: 459 times
      Been thanked: 1082 times

      I detest doing this, but I feel a duty.

      no one has disappeared that didn’t expect it.

      the managers keep tabs on some members who are not in keeping with our mission of supporting the TG/TG/CD members of our site. when we see these things, we coach and nudge in the direction the site wishes to see occur.

      they dont’ disappear without warnings, they don’t ” just disappear” as you may have heard.

      if you have questions, there’s two reasons for disappearing, and I’ll tell you what they are…

      1. they just leave. they delete their account, they just ignore their account, they just go away. the managers can’t control that.

      2. someone is coached, prodded, and given a chance to come in line with our mission, and, well, they just don’t. they come to the managers’ council, and they just can’t make muster. the managers vote that they can’t continue on the site.

      the staff is not qualified to be psychiatrists or therapists, if members need that support they need to go elsewhere, but we can’t let rants and posts needing professional help remain on the site and demoralize our membership. when such things happen we need to refer them for assistance, and then go on in life.

      do I have qualms about my decisions?

      only every day…

      but, I will tell you that every decision I make, every single day, I make the right decision for the majority of the membership, knowing that I am not a trained therapist, and I want my sisters here to be their best person every day.

      and when one of you can take over for me to make the management decisions, I will gladly turn over my reins and go back to being a chat girl.

      but until then…

      BillieJay

      • #612484
        Julie (Jules) Anderson
        Duchess
        Registered On: February 9, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 131
        Has thanked: 199 times
        Been thanked: 636 times

        Thank you BillieJay for all you and others do to manage this wonderful site! I spent years coaching and managing in youth sports, and managing this site is probably the same: 10% of the people do 90% of the work, and the other 90% does 100% of the complaining. And 90% of your time is spent managing 10% of the people.
        Or in simple terms, your job is like herding cats. Right?
        Hugs
        Jules

        2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #612478
        JillianW
        Duchess
        Registered On: October 13, 2019
        Topics: 9
        Replies: 336
        Has thanked: 1171 times
        Been thanked: 1464 times

        Hi Billie Jay,

        Thanks for the clarification. It is disconcerting when familiar names just disappear from the forums or the chat.

        Sometimes it becomes easier to believe in a conspiracy theory that these girls have been “removed” and locked in some cyber dungeon than to accept that they just … left.

        I have done that myself, just left, I mean. I deleted/ignored my account because I arrived at a decision that leaving was in my own best interest. When I returned, I was welcomed back with open arms and hugs all around. As will these girls when and if they return.

        Keep up your good work, Madame Ambassador
        Jillian

        1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #612396
        Stephanie Aston
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: May 31, 2018
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 83
        Has thanked: 453 times
        Been thanked: 379 times

        Hi Billiejay

        I just wanted to say thank you for your honest and open post, it goes without saying that most of us girls here really appreciate all the hard work you and the other managers do to keep CDH the wonderful Heaven it is.

        It can be sad when girls leave (and I wish them all well) but like you say this can happen for many different reasons, for me CDH is a real family, and is made strong by its collective membership not by a few individuals.

        Stephanie x

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #612208
      Mary Jane
      Lady
      Registered On: September 30, 2020
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 403
      Has thanked: 680 times
      Been thanked: 2069 times

      Hi Mary Jane!

      I grinned from ear-to-ear when I read this. Well said!

      Though, I do have a question for you. When you say “subjects” in your first paragraph, are you referring to “topics” or “minions”?

      I’ve always been hesitant to create a post on the Forum. One of my first ones got ripped to shreds. The first and most influential commenter didn’t even read it to understand the context and my post became a joke. It was hardly intended to be. And I almost left CDH before my journey even began.

      I don’t think she meant to be hurtful, but a juggernaut personality like hers certainly prevented others from engaging in more serious conversation.

      Anyway…

      I wish her well. And I’m delighted that SO many new names have come forward and are participating in quality conversations!!

      As for Holly… I hope we can find some reconciliation and forgiveness. She really wants to come back.

      Love, Barb 🙂

       

      • This reply was modified 4 days ago by Barb Wire.

      Hi Barb. I meant topics and not minions. I understand the risk of sounding dumb when posting.

      I have had a few few pushbacks and made a few myself. Though hoping my actions were more on the positive side.

      From what I understand,Holly left of her own accord, and wasn’t booted. Apart from self embarrassment (i don’t think we are offended) there is nothing stopping her from coming back.

      In general, it seems she reacts a lot more from situations that many others wouldn’t notice.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #612167
      Dee Nash
      Lady
      Registered On: November 7, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 197
      Has thanked: 1321 times
      Been thanked: 924 times

      Sisters are on there own journeys, and maybe they have gone as far as they want xx

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #612154
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 852
      Has thanked: 4734 times
      Been thanked: 4484 times

      Hi Catherine.

      No one here should take things too seriously, its just a chat forum to share our lifestyle. Like anywhere, people come and go.

      I posted on this thread and was deleted for unknown reasons but I don’t care and my panties aren’t in a wad…. lol

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #612146
      JillianW
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 13, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 336
      Has thanked: 1171 times
      Been thanked: 1464 times

      Hi Catherine,

      Count me among the oblivious as well.

      I have no idea what is going on, as usual.

      One of my things is that I tend to take breaks from CDH every now and again. Some are deliberate, some unintentional. This fall my “never ending kitchen remodel” kicked into high gear, that left me with little time and less energy to post. I’d check in once and awhile but didn’t notice anything amiss.

      I have also left the site twice, only to return. The first, I deleted my account, the second I kept the account but stayed away for nearly a year. Each time I was swearing off crossdressing for good. We all know how that goes. Anyway, each time I return the active roster has changed. Girls I regularly interacted with are gone or are dormant, to replaced by new and different girls. The circle of life, I guess. The same is true IRL, people come and go in my life. There are some that stand the test of time and some that last but a short while.

      Hugs, Jillian

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #612124
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 772
      Has thanked: 2855 times
      Been thanked: 3899 times

      I have been here for nearly 18 months. Prior to that I was on TGH but felt it was a bit ‘clicky’ and didn’t feel it suited me. I then came on here and sat in the background and just looked at what was being posted. I did venture into Chat but that didn’t suit either as it got very convoluted. 

      I persisted here and it seemed quite nice and I felt comfortable. Soon I was offering my opinion and advice taking on board some new ideas for me too. Okay the same topics came up again and again but these were new girls asking and it was important to them. We have to remember this and not become blase in ourselves and denigrate them.

      Like any forum there will be the Queen bees who have been on the site a while and those that may post outside the boundaries. That’s what moderators are for. From what I saw in this case there were some ladies having fun. It seemed quite innocuous to me and I heartily joined in. It was a sideshow and something someone could join in and share in. If it wasn’t your cup of tea then you knew what to avoid and find what you need elsewhere in the posts. And this is a point, if you have no interest in the post then move on. If you disagree with the post then make a valid stance but don’t get personal or insult other members. You don’t have to stay in the post, move to the next. 

      Suddenly there were cancelled members and some confusion as to what was going on. I was in the confused ranks as there was nothing that I saw as offensive and any reason that the posts would also disappear. There was no rhyme nor reason to it as no explanations appeared from the management team. It was all unsettling. Sadly some quite enigmatic ladies left or were cancelled and some left as a consequence.  If the posts made were against the ethos of the site then the management should inform the participants openly within the posts. We then are reminded of the boundaries which is fine but be more open about it. To me there is an element I miss and the site is a bit poorer for it.

      I suppose these are the things that happen within such places and and large memberships. However life moves on and I still feel unsettled but will continue to contribute. I do miss the fun though but ‘Alas poor Yorick’

      Continuing the  Shakespearian theme, ‘All the worlds a stage’ -remember your lines , do not go off script and you’ll be fine. My mantra is I will survive…….

       

       

       

       

      • #612571
        Regine Kelly
        Lady
        Registered On: October 9, 2020
        Topics: 44
        Replies: 1470
        Has thanked: 20365 times
        Been thanked: 7016 times

        Very well said, Angela
        Hugs, Regi

      • #612170
        Dee Nash
        Lady
        Registered On: November 7, 2021
        Topics: 2
        Replies: 197
        Has thanked: 1321 times
        Been thanked: 924 times

        Well said angela xx

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #612085
      Catherine Dickson
      Lady
      Registered On: January 22, 2020
      Topics: 20
      Replies: 97
      Has thanked: 246 times
      Been thanked: 726 times

      So, to follow up with an additional question: I’m really wondering more specifically what was the nature of the posts that were found objectionable. I’m guessing it was explicitly sexual, but I have no clue. I honestly don’t remember what the terms of use were for this site. I never really read those things because I have no interest in discussing subjects that would likely be problematic. I did bring up my own feelings of auto gynephilia on a different CD forum and got scolded for that. It wasn’t sexual, so I really had no idea there was a rule against that. It seems like many of us here experience it, but I’m not sure how free we are to discuss it here. Or maybe they were discussing insider trading…treason…naughty politics…who knows?

      Just curious,
      Catherine

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #612068
      Michelle Skylar
      Lady
      Registered On: March 18, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 73
      Has thanked: 136 times
      Been thanked: 285 times

      I know the recent events may not be the same thing but a few days ago I was searching the forum to see if a particular topic had been discussed. Around a year back I realized there were several names I don’t remember ever seeing and a few anonymous accounts. Two years back there were even more names I had never seen and more anonymous accounts. Three years back more of the same and even some missing between year two and three. I guess all forums have a sort of tidal movement. I just hope I am never swept away in the tide.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #611980
      Katey Doe
      Lady
      Registered On: February 3, 2021
      Topics: 37
      Replies: 653
      Has thanked: 1598 times
      Been thanked: 1948 times

      I took a hiatus from CDH for a bit only because I thought it was getting away from the main intention of this board. I come here to talk with ladies like myself. Check in and see how we are doing and show support and make others smile. It’s not easy for me to be Katey but I love who I am and gain a lot of advice and support here. It started to get away from advice and support to more entries such as – what color undies do you have on. I truly think CDH have wonderful ladies and thank you for your support and advice I really appreciate it. This is just my opinion.

    • #611968
      Tina Allen
      Lady
      Registered On: August 16, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 28
      Has thanked: 271 times
      Been thanked: 152 times

      Hi all

      I am more of a reader, than a writer. I have not been on as much lately. I been more busy with honey-doo projects. Can’t think of to many christmas that did not require some type of construction. Hopefully I am done with chipped and dirty nails, and I can get back to buffing and painting my own nails.

      xxx tina

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #611749
      Trisha Rave
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 12, 2021
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 3
      Has thanked: 247 times
      Been thanked: 13 times

      They may be having some personal problems, we all go thru them.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #611739
      Haley Ann
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 12, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 230
      Has thanked: 223 times
      Been thanked: 1094 times

      Always drama when girls are involved…ever hear panties in a w*d”? Hahaha

      Haley

    • #611733
      Marti
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 5, 2019
      Topics: 55
      Replies: 849
      Has thanked: 4218 times
      Been thanked: 4058 times

      Life is complicated sometimes, and us humans with our fragile egos don’t always help or get it right.

      “All the world’s a stage,
      And all the men and women merely players;
      They have their exits and their entrances,
      And one woman in her time plays many parts,”

      – with slight apologies to Shakespeare.

      Mart xxx

    • #611697
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 639
      Has thanked: 3718 times
      Been thanked: 3382 times

      Perhaps our theatre required some structural repairs.

      No doubt our curtain will rise once again and upon thunderous ovation!

      Let us turn our frowns into laughter!

      Barb (channeling our dearly departed Anya)

    • #611696
      Connie Twirl
      Lady
      Registered On: August 18, 2021
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 601
      Has thanked: 1084 times
      Been thanked: 2756 times

      I’m concerned about one of the departed. Poor Holly (trailer, little dog called Sissy) seemed to lurch from one crisis to another, with very little up time in between, yet she found the time to make entertaining posts.

      I got the impression that CDH was an important resource to her, andI really hope she’s retained some other form of access to her friends.

      If there’s anyone here who is in touch with her, please pass on best wishes.

      Thanks

      Connie
      xxx

    • #611679
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 464
      Has thanked: 1583 times
      Been thanked: 2246 times

      I would guess like others have here, that people leave for a lot of different reasons, and maybe someday I will leave for reasons I haven’t yet even considered.  I do wish them all well as they continue their particular and unique journey and even hope some (or even most or all) come back on occasion to let us know how they’re doing.

      I do occasionally glance at my friend list and today I noticed that more have been active here in the past several days then the last time I looked at it about a week ago.  To me that’s a good sign that girls here do come and go or take a short break or whatever they feel or need.

      I mentioned elsewhere here that I was a mod on another site once and it wore me out eventually.  But I can also sort of understand that for some who become very involved and post a lot, follow others a lot, that maybe they need a break now and then.  And I see nothing wrong with that.

      For me, I spend some time here, but I have other pursuits that I really like, so I just haven’t become as involved here as others, but that’s me.  But the posts I read and topics I follow, I enjoy and appreciate, and in ways, helps me understand myself a little better. And hopefully provide insights that others appreciate.

      And that’s one of several things of what I would hope for a site like this.

      Hugs,

      ChloeC

    • #611611
      Lola Caprice
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: May 26, 2021
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 249
      Has thanked: 1096 times
      Been thanked: 1023 times

      Well, that explains a lot. I kind of drifted away from my fem side for about 6 months, including this site. When I returned a few days ago I noticed things were a bit quieter. I just checked my list of friends and yes, some very prominent people are gone. Bummer but life goes on. My hiatus was purely personal, nothing to do with the site and I’m glad to be back among you caring and supportive beautiful ladies!

      Hugs,
      💋Lola

    • #611608
      Haley Ann
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 12, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 230
      Has thanked: 223 times
      Been thanked: 1094 times

      The more I blossom, the more I value my friendships here. Thanks for letting me grow into my skirt!

      Haley

    • #611605
      Mandy Wife
      Baroness
      Registered On: September 12, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 270
      Has thanked: 166 times
      Been thanked: 1222 times

      Quite a few ladies have been removed from the site, this has caused a lot of upset and frustration and the dynamic of the forums has changed as a result as some were very regular contributors.

      Online acquaintances on a forum develop into true friendships over time so yes, other ladies have been upset and have left and I can understand the way they are feeling.

      • #611688
        Celeste Starre
        Lady
        Registered On: June 26, 2018
        Topics: 46
        Replies: 1267
        Has thanked: 336 times
        Been thanked: 4653 times

        Here’s what I don’t quite understand about that.  Say you have developed a true friendship with someone and they decide to leave or are removed from the site for some infraction.  Why would you leave because of that?  You can still visit them if you live close or talk to them on the phone or via email. Unless you aren’t getting any benefit from being here it makes no sense to leave just because someone else does.

    • #611602
      Celeste Starre
      Lady
      Registered On: June 26, 2018
      Topics: 46
      Replies: 1267
      Has thanked: 336 times
      Been thanked: 4653 times

      People come and go for all sorts of reasons. The one constant seems to be new members every single day.

    • #611586
      BillieJay
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: September 21, 2018
      Topics: 1177
      Replies: 220
      Has thanked: 459 times
      Been thanked: 1082 times
    • #611579
      Lanna Barton
      Lady
      Registered On: May 25, 2017
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 495
      Has thanked: 1646 times
      Been thanked: 796 times

      Mary Jane,

      Good point! I have had what I thought was a dear friend on here that has been on and off so many times that it made my head spin.  Each time I was told they were here to stay and then POOF gone.

      Lanna

    • #611563
      Mary Jane
      Lady
      Registered On: September 30, 2020
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 403
      Has thanked: 680 times
      Been thanked: 2069 times

      When you check the profiles of those “declaring” their depature – you find many have a history of coming and going. They rarely post their own subjects.

      I’m also suspicious that they immediately return with an anonymous account. Its like they crave the attention.

      There is a common theme of self centeredness. Its all about them. And not about what they can contribute. I like to mention we are not an airport, where you announce your departure.

      • #612639
        Abbie Normal
        Duchess
        Registered On: June 13, 2021
        Topics: 13
        Replies: 663
        Has thanked: 1351 times
        Been thanked: 2763 times

        I think it can be the opposite of self centeredness to announce your departure from a social setting. I wouldn’t leave a friendly gathering anywhere without making my rounds to say goodbye and “let’s stay in touch”.  We all share fairly personal stories or anecdotes here and through that process form close bonds with each other. People that we often don’t think to connect with outside the site before they are gone.

        I think the minute we stop caring about each other then why would any of us want to be here?

        — Abbie

        1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #612149
        Olivia Livin
        Duchess - Annual
        Registered On: October 22, 2018
        Topics: 56
        Replies: 1702
        Has thanked: 9325 times
        Been thanked: 4895 times

        Members come and go for a multitude of reasons, this is but one. They don’t get enough replies or positive feedback, so they move on.

        There is alot of “meism” in society at large so it follows that it spills over here as well. There are those that are/were grandstanding or attention seeking in both the forums and pictures, perhaps its a need of theirs. As has been pointed out previously we have the priviledge of simply scrolling past the articles or authors we care not to partake of, and I generally do. Others seem to appreciate the constant but sometimes entertaining threads, so its just a matter of preferences and choices.

        For some, the continuous attention is an actual need and though this is a supportive site I am not their therapist and I deal with enough of that in my day to day life with people that I “have to” engage with.

        Everybody has their thing, and we’re all free to do it whatever way works for us.

        Olivia

        2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #612005
        Barb Wire
        Duchess - Annual
        Registered On: September 16, 2021
        Topics: 14
        Replies: 639
        Has thanked: 3718 times
        Been thanked: 3382 times

        Hi Mary Jane!

        I grinned from ear-to-ear when I read this. Well said!

        Though, I do have a question for you. When you say “subjects” in your first paragraph, are you referring to “topics” or “minions”?

        I’ve always been hesitant to create a post on the Forum. One of my first ones got ripped to shreds. The first and most influential commenter didn’t even read it to understand the context and my post became a joke. It was hardly intended to be. And I almost left CDH before my journey even began.

        I don’t think she meant to be hurtful, but a juggernaut personality like hers certainly prevented others from engaging in more serious conversation.

        Anyway…

        I wish her well. And I’m delighted that SO many new names have come forward and are participating in quality conversations!!

        As for Holly… I hope we can find some reconciliation and forgiveness. She really wants to come back.

        Love, Barb 🙂

         

        • This reply was modified 4 days ago by Barb Wire.
        7 users thanked author for this post.
Viewing 25 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account