- This topic has 27 replies, 26 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by
.
- Posts
Today I’m supposed to take my first step as being fully Tonya for a day. Have my outfit ready, plans for me to get my makeup done and my SO is planning on doing my hair and nails… all week I’ve been so excited… and today I’m scared… afraid of it even… almost to the point of wanting to turn and run…
The what ifs have set in… what if I don’t enjoy it(even though I know I will)
What if my SO sees me totally different…
Am I going to far with this…
Am I moving to fast with it…
Is this really what I want…
What if I don’t look good,
What if I can’t hold the fem personna
What I’d, what if,… am i…. do i… should i…
The questions all stem from fear of the unknown… and I’m sure we have all been there…
Thank you ladies for all the advice and support you give not just to me but each other. I’m so grateful to be part of this group.
Love you all
❤Tonya
Tonya,
I wish I was this young when I was completely open with my wife.My wife is so understanding through my progression into what I am comfortable with. She is even more open to suggesting what might be good for me as I expose more of myself to her. It’s like a bonus marriage achievement every time we talk!
My suggestion is to let her take the lead. You have already progressed past what society would let me say when I was early in life with your SO. Let her set the pace and enjoy where she leads you. When your limit is reached you will know and with a SO that understands so much already she will most likely understand when your current limit is reached. Let her have fun and engage to your limit.
Girl I am happy and jealous of you at the same time. Let her take the lead. AND fill us in on the wonderful details!
Tonya, you’ve got this girl. Outfit is ready, your SO is ready,…. you are ready. The “what ifs” are evil little gremlins that grow in our minds to prevent us from doing the things we want to do. Don’t pay attention to them! There is one What If you forgot about. What If you don’t do this? Dont let your nerves get the best of you, you’ll just regret it hon. Your time has come Tonya, enjoy it (after the nerves settle down)!! I’m so happy for you!!
Stevie
That is so exiting Tonya, I’m sure the day will go as well you wish it to, with your S.O.’s help you will look gorgeous and will never look back. Just slip into that lovely outfit and enjoy the day.
Big hugs
Diana
Just wanted to say thank you again to all you lovely ladies the support means so very much. My nerves are easing a little. I still have about 2 and a half hours of work left before I head home to start my final prep… of shaving and making sure all the male Hiawatha are hidden well enough… we will see how the day unfolds.
What if… you look FAB! What if your SO thinks… you look FAB! What if the whole world thinks you look FAB?
What ifs kill you… ban what ifs!Looking FAB, Tonya!
To be honest I wonder if the fact that I muggy look amazing scared me as well… I know it’s kinda a contradictory thing… to be afraid you’ll look amazing… but I’m not used to feeling like I look good and the last time I had my makeup dibe that’s how I felt.. I felt beautiful.. like I could own the world… why I’m afraid of it… idk couldn’t tell you…
Tonya, you left out one very important ‘what if’, what if you don’t take these steps?
You may get to meet the 3 sisters of doubt: Shoulda, Woulda and Coulda. Those 3 will pester you from now on if they show up. Their favorite act is to plant the seed of doubt that will always bloom nd try to stop you from trying almost anything new and exciting in your future.
Take a deep breath and relax hon. Trust your wife and above everything else, trust yourself.
PaulaF
Tonya,
How exciting for you, and I know exactly how you feel! Relax, if you can, and immerse yourself in the enjoyment of the experience. If you’re like me, you will be very self-aware of what you’re feeling, and through that awareness many of your questions will be answered…..
I’m so happy that you’re getting this opportunity! Be sure to let us know how it turns out – please!
Marcellette
Tonya. Your so lucky to have a SO that supports you. Thats one obstacle that you don’t have to worry about. Just listen to your SO if you have any questions about what to do if something unexpected happens. This day will forever be remembered. I know that it was for me and I remember everything about that day. From the doubts that I had to the feeling of being accepted once I was out there among other girls. Good luck and just go with your instincts. Your going to be alright. Hugs to you
Janine
Hello Tonya…
Your list of questions ?????
Most of them can be answered…when you get back home..get dressed and fly!!!!!
Good luck xx.
Grace xx
I understand Tonya, but you got this! Have fun! 🌸🧚♀️
Well anytime I’ve been out it normally starts with some nervousness but once out and I settle in it just feels natural to be doing it.
For you I would suggest going with your gut hun! If it feels right doing. I’ve been dressing for years and still experience some of these feeling. Anyway hun good luck and try to just be you when you feel like it.
Big hugsAshley.
Hi Tonya,
What if you do “turn and run”? Then, you will never know how it is to really be Tonya.
“The saddest words that pass ‘mongst men, are ever these: ‘It might have been'”
Go for it, girl; you will not regret it. And tell us al about it, afterward.
Hugs,
BetylouResponding to this a day late. Hopefully not a dollar short….
Before my first makeover I had some of the same “what if” doubts and fears. But then I thought – what if I like it?
Well, I liked it….a lot! That makeover was the catalyst for everything that’s happened since. It changed my life.
You miss 100% of the shots you never take.
Hi Tonya,
You can “what if” all day long and what I found out is that when the What If thoughts occur thats when we decide not to do things. I’m no where and expert on fully dressing but I do know we have to get out of our comfort zone every now and then. I have been through this what if moment recently when shopping. What If I run into someone I know, What if the sales associate sees me, etc….but I still did it. Thanks to advice from so many here at CDH I have stepped out of my comfort zone and now I feel the confidence building. Good Luck and have fun. Hugs Katey
Don’t let the “what ifs” take over your thoughts. We have no control over everything that will happen, whether en-femme or not. If you have made the decision to do it, and thought through all the bad things that may happen so you can take whatever precautions you need to, then go for it with all the confidence you can. I still have many what ifs when I go out dressed, but I just step out the door and go. Nothing terrifying or horrible has happened, and the scary things I feared happening have not even remotely happened. The worst thing for me so far has been a few quizzical looks from people here and there. I love being out dressed too much to care though.
Tonya what if you don’t do it you will regret not doing it, pursue your happiness and go for it. What if you enjoy your day you will love every bit of it, go for it girl your SO helping you as well.Whats not to like enjoy your day.
Best Wishes
Sarah xx
- The forum ‘General Chat “Life as it Goes On”’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments