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Is there someone who could speak to her on your behalf? Even if it’s to just mediate as far as getting you both to a marriage guidance counselor?
I think if you can’t open some form of dialogue there isn’t much you can do. She may also just need some time to digest things, calm down etc. If she didn’t know at all this has probably been a huge shock to her.
Before you were caught were you ok together or were there other troubles?
Mx
Hi Mellissa,
I tend to agree with Mandy, when confronted with this kind of thing. They can be completely overwhelmed, lash out, and require the necessary time to try and process things. I do hope that there is someone, family member or friend who can be there for both of you, and build a bridge for at least some conversation.
Hoping things can work out, best of luck
Sorry to hear that, Melissa.
Good time for both of you to reflect and determine where you want things to go. She obviously has things to work out but hard as it can be, so do you.
You need to consider where you want to go with dressing. It is something you want to do often, in the privacy of your own surroundings? Do you have long term plans or desires to transition, in even the least? Lots to think about in the midst of everything else.
Gurls life is never easy!
Love and hugs,
Rebekka
Found out.
I went through this a few months ago. If you can get her to talk, be honest with her and yourself. Explain to her how you feel and what your true intentions are for the future should you get back together. Now that you have been exposed let your lite shine.
Michelle
I agree with Veronica her reaction was a bit extreme but it probably came as a big shock to her. When the dust has settled she may relent and if she does reassure her you do not want to transition but would like to dress occasionally if she agrees. Again though it does sound like it is final. Best of luck. Sandra Louise xx
Here is an update. We are starting to talk.she agrees that we do need to sit down together before anything permanent happens so here is hoping things work out. To answer your girls questions I just like wearing girl clothes I have no desire to do anything other than that. Honestly I don’t think I could fool anyone even if I tried but I’m ok with that. Honestly if I had to choose either to dress or keep her I would choose her in a heartbeat. Not going to lie it would be hard to give this side of me up though.
I just want to say I’m 100% in your camp. Let’s be real here I’m 6’4″ and 220lbs I’m not a small human.
I have no desire to pass, I feel like a man, and I love wearing women’s clothes in my own private time.
I am not saying this to project onto anyone else, we all are who we are, I’m just saying that so you know it can absolutely be a thing. You’re not alone! I don’t even like wigs or makeup. It’s fun but like, just give me a dress please thank you.
Glad to hear the two of you are talking. Seriously I hope it works out, you’ll probably confront some internal stuff like you never have before, but if you love her, fight for her, but don’t sacrifice yourself or who you are. Dressing is what I do and what I will do, but I am a husband first. Ya dig?
Good luck and I mean that I wish you the best! I can message you my own story there too it’s like… whoa almost had my life collapse around me don’t want to get into specifics but I’m still working through it all just saying you should not feel alone and that talking about it can help a lot.
All I can say is that my fiance nearly walked away from me because I was hiding something from her. It wasn’t about the dresses, just saying. I got a counselor to work on my communication with my wife and to make sure our trust was built back up, and I’m committed to no more hiding, and that includes some rather uncomfortable-but-healthy self-realizations and acceptance.
Again it had little to nothing to do with the dresses.
Melissa,
I’m in the same situation. My wife of 38 years knew about my dressing 15 months ago and finally decided that she couldn’t live with or be married to a man who Crossdresses. This happened a month h ago after being kicked out of the house in early January. My suggestions are to reach out to your trusted friends for help and pray!
As of now I know the truth. She was looking for a reason to get rid of me. She was hoping I would catch her cheating on me. She had a POF profile. Also her mom basically threaten her it was me or her inheritance. Which is a couple of 100,000 dollars.
It hurts it really does but what am I supposed to do? I still love her whole heartily love her. I know I shouldn’t but when I give you my heart you get my whole heart and soul.
Melissa, I feel so bad for you, to read of your circumstances as I follow the thoughts in this thread. If indeed it is the end of your relationship, you definitely need to take care of #1 and that is you (assuming there are no children in the equation.) If there are substantial assets to split up….house/condo…retirement savings, etc….you will want to lawyer up. I wouldn’t know the laws where you are at but here in Wisconsin, when a married couple split, everything is divided 50/50. My wife has substantially more in savings than me but if we split, half of her retirement IRA would go to me and half of mine to her to equalize it all. If your (soon to be?) ex-wife thinks that her mom’s $200,000 in inheritance will “go far”, she is delusional. Best wishes to you as you figure where life goes from here. I certainly hope it all works for the best for you.
Hugs,
Anne
Being objective, and recently homeless myself, you need to get housed and resettled asap, retrieve any belongings you have from your former home (If need be get them into storage short term). If your job has also gone (mine was lost the moment I waled away from an unhappy relationship in January), you need to find work as a priority… And start from square one again.
Don’t forget… There’s a lot of people you will need to notify of the changes in your circumstances, and address.
Sorry to sound negative, and I do genuinely hope your wife has some thinking time and you two can work it out… But isn’t it worth at least having a contingency plan in place if you can’t ?
Imogen X
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