I must apologize in advance for the somber mood of this post, especially since it comes on a day meant to be filled with joy and love. Before I begin though, I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a blessed holiday season. I pray that those you love are close to you, and the memories you make today will shine a light of warmth in your heart for years to come.
This is our last Christmas. It’s a dim shadow of Christmases past. There is no Christmas tree or decorations, no holiday lights have been hung and no gifts are waiting to be shared. The cold, damp outside the window expresses the gray emptiness of this last Christmas. The final note in nearly a decade of song slowly dies, leaving behind a sad echo of what it once was.
After the pain, and hurt. After the anger and resentment. After the tears and mourning. There is only a deep, empty melancholy.
This is the moment I avoided all my life. This is my death I hoped to escape. This is the womb of my birth.
I’ll leave you now, with words that never fail to bring me to tears. Words from a song that itself could almost have been discarded. Ten minutes beyond the last track that seemed filled with silence, on an obscure CD by a band from South Africa called MIC. The song with no name, from the album Stories From a Dry Land.
I drowned in your eyes
The waters washed over me
The trees aren’t as green
The snow isn’t white
Like sunshine on my face
Or twelve roses in winter
When life comes from the sand
You rise to the heavens
And don’t close your eyes
It’s all I’ve got
To see the truth that’s inside
The window of your heart x2
I reach into your soul
The flowers were white and gold
The way your eyes move
Is the telling of the truth
And don’t close your eyes
It’s all I’ve got
To see the truth that’s inside
the window of your heart x2
It’s so easy for me
to think that I know
What’s going on in your head
Only time will tell
The meaning of love
But by that time I’ll be dead
So don’t close your eyes
It’s all I’ve got
To see the truth that’s inside
The window of your heart x2
And don’t close your eyes
It’s all I’ve got
To see the truth that’s inside
Your heart
To see the truth that’s inside
Your heart
