Hi Nadia’s wife. Let me start by saying you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. You haven’t caused this, it isn’t something you should pressure yourself to accept, just one thing at the time. Are children on the immediate agenda? If they are not, put the thought aside for a bit. The issue of how to raise them in a relationship like yours can be as simple or as complicated as the couple decide it will be. Or do you already have children? If that is the case, then your children don’t need to know about it if you don’t want them to. It can be a private thing between your husband and yourself, I am sure you don’t share your sexual practices with them either. Or it can just be a private thing for your husband alone. You really can make the decisions that suit your personality.
I am assuming this is not something your husband was upfront about before you got married. If that’s so, you are part of the majority, unfortunately. So it’s normal to feel unsettled, anxious, or even angry. When it comes to the nitty gritty of life with a crossdresser, there is a section here dedicated and cordoned off just for SOs which you are welcome to join. The relevant people can give you access to that part of the website, where you can ask all the questions swimming around your head at the moment in confidence.
The important part to remember is that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. For now, just take it a day at a time and join the rest of us in the private SO section.
Nadia, since your post was written on behalf of your wife, I was addressing her. If you can pass it on to her, that would be helpful. Thank you.