#384216

Hi Stephanie!

As Commander Peter Quincy Taggart would say “never give up, never surrender.”

I can’t help it. It’s a line I think of whenever the idea of quitting anything comes to mind. I quit drinking alcohol over 12 years ago so that make me a qualified quitter. Some of my former drunk friends used to say “no one likes a quitter” as they headed to the bar without me. That was all about cutting something bad out of my life. Excising a tumor so to speak. I am lucky in that for what ever reason, God saw fit to remove the urge to drink from me not too long after I quit. I believe he knew EXACTLY how much willpower I had. I am grateful. There are some times that I think that I would love to be able to enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner. A foolish idea. One glass could have me off to the races again. I have friends who aren’t so luck and struggle on a daily basis. I was with one when a waitress asked him if he would like a drink to which he replied “no, I have to be home by Christmas” and it was only March.

If you cut us do we not bleed? Yes. But we don’t all react or behave the same way in all situations. Neither willpower nor passion have been equally rationed to the masses either. I suppose there are some who could just throw away their wardrobe/stash and spend the rest of their lives content in a “been there done that” kind of way. I know I couldn’t be one of those. This is something that will be with me for the rest of my life in some fashion or another. High fashion hopefully if I can afford it 😉 I do enjoy the fact that there is a whole mystery of details of this that I have yet to discover. I sometimes wonder how I would feel if I went plowing ahead at this full speed….. would I become complacent….. would it get boring eventually……. and there are things in my life that I once had enthusiasm for that eventually became mundane. But I don’t see that here. Not with this. Not for me. I think it was all buried for so long that there couldn’t possibly be enough time left in my life for me to get bored with this. What I do see is it feeling more natural as time goes on. I see society being more accepting as well. I watch my friends here moving forward and see how empowered they feel and I am encouraged.

It makes me feel good. It makes me happy. It feels natural and comfortable even when it’s uncomfortably scary. There is a thrill involved just like the one kids get on their first roller coaster ride. Quit? Well, sure I quit some things. But this?

Never give up, never surrender!

 

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