I disclosed my cross dressing to my therapist, a clinical psychiatrist, though that wasn’t the reason I saw her. I simply brought it up in the course of the treatment. (For me, at least, the fact that the therapist was female was ESSENTIAL. I’m certain I would never have felt comfortable discussing the topic with a male therapist.) She treated the disclosure as she treated every other topic we discussed, inquisitively and professional. Any therapist who expresses any type of judgment about being a CD is a therapist who should find a different occupation.
I would leave this topic, however, to a therapist you see on your own, not a marriage counselor you see with your wife.