A Blowout With The Wife Turns Positive

[Robin Snow]

Hi Ladies,

I thought I’d share a recent experience I had with the wife.

So a few days ago my wife and I were outside with the dogs.  My neighbor was out organizing her crew for their day’s work.  I don’t remember all the details leading up to the argument, something to do with the dogs, but I remember saying to my wife “It’s just easier.”  She said “Huh,” and I replied “it’s a guy thing.”  She got all pissed and blurted out “how could you say it’s a guy thing whey you want to get in touch with your feminine side.”  I’m not sure if the neighbor’s heard her or not.  Normally, when she attacks my CDing, I would run with my tail between my legs.  This time, I stood up to her by telling her that comment was inappropriate and reminded her how I jump through hoops not to throw my dressing in her face.  She immediately apologized and a good conversation started.

She said biggest problem she has with this whole thing is I am trying to feel feminine from and emotional aspect and I’m am using the clothing to obtain that sense of emotion.  I told her… when I came out you I said I wanted to feel feminine.  After a year of banging my head, researching, and chatting with other people on, what I consider, the spectrum, I realized I may have misspoken.  I came to the conclusion there is no possible way I can emotionally feel feminine in the way a cis-woman feels feminine without some major alteration of body chemistry.  The male body is just not wired that way.  I enjoy the feminine feeling I derive from the clothes, the softness of the fabrics.  For me it’s all about the clothes and visual sensations of the whole female package.  It’s something I enjoy exploring.  I find it relaxing and a good way to relieve stress.  Unfortunately, society considers it taboo.  My wife seemed relieved.  She admits to dressing like a guy all the time and society considers it normal. (Seriously, in 20+ years of marriage I can probably count the number of times my wife has worn a dress on one hand)  Long story short …. It seems she walked away from the conversation with a better understanding and more accepting of my CDing.  Maybe, I can finally feel more comfortable dressing a little more when she is around.

-Robin

[Olivia Livin]

Hi Robin, it feels good when things move forward in a positive direction. I have found over time that as we reflect, accept and feel more comfortable within ourselves, that self understanding becomes easier to verbalize to others, helping them in turn grasp the reality.

[Anonymous]

Robin….”It’s something I enjoy exploring.  I find it relaxing and a good way to relieve stress.”…

How right you are… I feel the exact same way, though it IS very had to explain it to my wife.

Hope your wife can better understand why we do this (mine is having difficulty in that matter) … and then explain it to us! LOL…

Hugs, Mary Ann

[Patty Williams]

Hi Robin,

Good for you,I am so glad you stood up to your wife and explained your feelings.

That is so fantastic,I hope it gets you a little more leeway to explore Robin more you definately deserve that.

It sounds like Robin is getting more comfortable with who she is and I am so glad of that.

I hope it leads to more conversations.

 

Love Patty

[Patty Phose]

You never know when a seemingly negative incident can incident can turn into a positive. That seems to be the case here. I’m happy about the good outcome and higher level of understanding.

My wife met Patty a couple of weeks after we met. Her and Patty became girlfriends and often went out together. They are still friends. So except for when I first dressed for her,for me I have never experienced these “coming out” incidents. I’m glad it’s going in a better direction.

[Robin Snow]

Hi Stephanie,

I will admit I did not look into the science of it all.  My conclusion was based on conversations I had with people from various parts of the spectrum.  Specifically, trans women who are undergoing HRT.  My biggest question was how has HRT effected how you think and feel, thoughts and emotions.  In almost every case they described changes.

I do agree with you we are wired a little differently from the get go and the Pink Fog provides a nice release of dopamine .  Like you I can cry at the drop of a hat.  Heck, I even cried at my wedding.  My wife, on the other hand, did not.  Personally, I’m beginning to think the gender lines in my world are a little blurry.

When I came out to my wife, I was an emotional wreck and I wasn’t thinking clearly.  I’m just happy my wife now has a better understanding of where I am coming from.

Cheers,

-Robin

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