- March 1, 2021 at 8:02 am #455859Tonya LerenParticipantRegistered On: January 5, 2021Topics: 23Replies: 216Has thanked: 594 timesBeen thanked: 1043 times
I haven’t been in the situation yet, but I believe I am probably a little luckier than a lot of you on here in the way when I finally decide it’s time to go into public dressed that I will have female friends or otherwise someone to accompany me into the restroom.. so as to cause as like stir as possible…
But my question is when you go out… how do you handle going to the restroom when nature calls… do you use the women’s restroom and not work if it bothers anyone “if” they happen to notice, do you use the men’s and take a chance of someone saying something…, do you try to find a family restroom? Or are you like me where you would have someone there with you that could help… in one way or another…
Total of 22 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- March 19, 2021 at 10:29 pm #466242Lisa WilsonLadyRegistered On: March 8, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 9Has thanked: 55 timesBeen thanked: 65 times
My comments are similar to several other of the girls here. I used really get worried about using the bathroom. If I were at a mall that had a family bathroom, I would probably use that. But outside of that I’ve used the women’s bathroom more times than I can count. If it’s empty or only one or two ladies, I might fix my makeup. Otherwise, I do my business, wash up and go. Do I still get nervous sometimes ? Depends on the place and how crowded it is, so sometimes I still do.
Last month I had a first though, I went to a very busy club in Atlanta on a Saturday, and it was packed. I had to wait in the long line with about 30 girls to use the bathroom, mostly younger. Wow, you here some very interesting conversations in that situation. At first that made me nervous, but the girls actually had fun with it. One even told me I had a great sense of style. And once in the stalls, girls are crazier than guys on what they discuss in bathroom.
Some of it might depend on laws in your area, but most places are fine. Someone mentioned little kids, I agree if I saw a young kids going in , I might wait a few minutes just to avoid any incidence. Some of it depends on the Store/Restaurant you are at. Target stores are very Trans Friendly as far as the restrooms go, as an example.
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- March 18, 2021 at 2:20 am #465417Danielle AnayaLadyRegistered On: January 3, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 50Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 188 times
I will use a unisex restroom if it is available, but have used a women’s restroom when necessary. I do not go in a women’s restroom if their are children present. I do carry a “pee bottle” in my car as a back up. If using a women’s restroom, I go in, take care of business, and get out without lingering. So far thankfully I have not had a problem and never detected anyone who seemed to notice.
- March 8, 2021 at 6:34 pm #459647Gail BingyiLadyRegistered On: July 24, 2016Topics: 1Replies: 24Has thanked: 19 timesBeen thanked: 110 times
I have been out several times and I have what is commonly referred to as a chinese bladder, so I find that even on fairly short trips I have to use a rest room. I always use the female rest room when I am dressed. It is much easier to navigate the undressing and redressing parts of the toiletry process. I have never been asked or had any derogatory comments passed my way. Women’s toilets are all cubicles so there is a higher degree of privacy than in a mens room which helps make the process a little less stressful.
When walking out I always wash my hands and make sure my skirt is properly pulled down and check my hair and make up. I have had other women in there at times and usually a polite smile and a hello is all that is required to exude an air of I belong here
Love as always
- March 3, 2021 at 3:25 pm #457148
- March 3, 2021 at 12:00 am #456864Polly StewartLadyRegistered On: January 2, 2021Topics: 9Replies: 876Has thanked: 1231 timesBeen thanked: 2905 times
- March 2, 2021 at 10:47 pm #456848Rowena GoldLadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 4Replies: 73Has thanked: 1480 timesBeen thanked: 264 times
Thank you for raising this topic, Tonya, since I have been giving it some thought now that I am venturing out more en femme than before. At some stage I will need to use the Ladies Room and the advice here makes a lot of sense. If I can I will be with another GG at least for the first time. I will give you an update after my first experience.
- March 2, 2021 at 9:59 pm #456840CarriLadyRegistered On: September 2, 2018Topics: 2Replies: 34Has thanked: 10 timesBeen thanked: 128 times
I wouldn’t ever put myself in a position where I am the female and use the men’s room. Some males are put off deeply by anyone not a cisgender female and they can attack you. I guess it threatens their fragile masculinity if they are suddenly attracted to folx other than cis gender females.
Plus men’s bathrooms are usually very nasty.
- March 2, 2021 at 9:52 pm #456839Stephanie HayesLadyRegistered On: December 14, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 71Has thanked: 55 timesBeen thanked: 176 times
While I havent been out en’femme’ I would follow the rule of “use the restroom of the gender you are presenting as”. If I ever get to the point where I would be comfortable presenting as a lady in public, then I would use the ladies room.
- March 2, 2021 at 8:26 pm #456822Amy MyersBaronessRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 16Replies: 1283Has thanked: 3685 timesBeen thanked: 3544 times
I have been out en femme quite a number of times, and have had to use the restrooms. I don’t know what it is, but I seem to need to use them more often than when I’m in guy mode. Never had any trouble.
Now I tend to pass reasonably well which helps I think. One time I had a woman get really chatty with me in the Ladies, and I try to avoid talking as my voice will give me away. Another time a young woman was trying to get some goo off of hand and asked for some help! She was 20’s I’d say, so I would look a lot like a mother figure to her.
I just slip in, do what I need, and always sit, wash up and be on my way. No way on earth would I go into the Men’s, that would likely cause a sensation. Laws do vary from area to area, but here it is legal to use the restroom which you are presenting as.
- March 2, 2021 at 8:24 pm #456821Octavia LongDuchessRegistered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 78Has thanked: 529 timesBeen thanked: 589 times
The only problem that I have ever had and I sit to pee I have since I was 5. Public male bathrooms are absolutely discussing. I will hold it or go outside before I use a public bathroom. I have never tried a female bathroom but I am new to going out as Octavia.
- March 2, 2021 at 7:47 pm #456818Jessie GLadyRegistered On: December 31, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 32Has thanked: 21 timesBeen thanked: 129 times
- March 19, 2021 at 9:27 pm #466237Bridgette VonSmirffLadyRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 26Replies: 775Has thanked: 11291 timesBeen thanked: 2929 times
Was that in a casino, or a public? If it was a business, I’d not give them my custom ever again! I mean, sure, it’s their place and all, but it’s also my money and all, and I’ll not spend it there.
- March 2, 2021 at 12:39 pm #456544Rachel MLadyRegistered On: September 3, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 33Has thanked: 214 timesBeen thanked: 135 times
Thank you for your response, glad to read that GGs generally respond well when we share the restroom with them. If I were clocked, I would likely identify myself as transgender or gender fluid but would be hesitate to to use the term cross-dresser as it implies impersonation of a woman? I love to hear what you girls think.
- March 2, 2021 at 3:15 pm #456617Robyn DevineDuchessRegistered On: October 24, 2020Topics: 15Replies: 604Has thanked: 1900 timesBeen thanked: 2589 times
If you TRULY identify with Transgender or Gender-fluid, by all means do so.
If your using them because your hesitant or they “sound better” don’t. I use the term crossdresser with women and it doesn’t bother them. On dating sites I use the term “Gender nonconformist” as well.
Why? Because I love women and I love to dress as one! I also have the confidence to let them know who I am and use those identifiers.
Not being critical…just my 2 cents.
- March 2, 2021 at 8:33 am #456409Rachel MLadyRegistered On: September 3, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 33Has thanked: 214 timesBeen thanked: 135 times
I have been reading mostly positive responses when using the lady’s washroom, could it be because all you ladies “pass” beautifully and no one questioned if you were not a GG? Has anyone been clearly “read” by other ladies while using the washroom and can you please comment their reaction in this case? Thanks.
- March 2, 2021 at 12:36 pm #456541Laura LovettLadyRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 13Replies: 1091Has thanked: 3586 timesBeen thanked: 5273 times
Just use the one that represents your appearance. Be calm and relaxed about it, and women will hold the door for you, chat with you as if it’s the normal thing it is, and all will be fine. Don’t sweat it worrying about other people’s problems – they’re not yours!
I probably told this story before in the full form, but in short, I went to a dressing up party at college without knowing it was a dressing up party.
The girl whose party it was (who had also invited me) must have had an inkling, because she immediately suggested that I dress in some of her clothes, since we were a similar height.
She is 6′ 1″, and I am 6′ 4″.
So, after a fun round of her putting various garments on me, including the obligatory stuffed bra, then doing my makeup, she then announced that we should all go to the pub I our costumes.
I gasped – this was my fantastic coming true – but turned it into a macho thing, daring the other guests.
They couldn’t really turn the dare down, coming from the big guy in a dress, and no-one had anything negative to say, so off we all went. Crazy students, right?
Obviously, after a few beers, the inevitable bathroom trip was necessary.
I headed off to the boy’s room, but my friend grabbed me, and told me I couldn’t go in there, dressed like that.
So she led me by the hand into the ladies, and left me there.
It was empty, so I did what I needed to, then paused, horrified, as I heard women coming in and chatting.
One blurted out “Hurry up, I’m crossing me legs out here!”, so I came out, and went to the basin to wash my hands.
As a group, they watched me, then followed me out, and had some fun with me, first teasing, then, realising that I was actually enjoying the teasing, started to investigate my costume – what’s in the bra? Oh, just tights. What’s under the skirt? Woo! Pretty knickers. As there were 3 of them, it became difficult to field questions and fend off prying hands, so I invited them to the party.
Unfortunately, they were not students, and, as my friends had already come over to rescue me from the peril (let me have a little more peril, I can handle it!), they decided that they wouldn’t feel comfortable at a student party, and left.
But they left me with a very happy memory – as did my friend.
And yes, we were just friends!
Despite dressing me up in her clothes, she made it clear that she loved her fiance, and that was just a bit of fun.
It certainly was!
- March 2, 2021 at 11:28 pm #456856Diana MorganLadyRegistered On: February 22, 2021Topics: 7Replies: 574Has thanked: 4199 timesBeen thanked: 1766 times
I had a slightly similar experience going to a work Xmas party dressed as a nurse, three of the girls in our party decided that I should be in full makeup and proceeded to go to town on me, well I was in paradise – little did they know – happy days.
- March 19, 2021 at 9:32 pm #466238LadyRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 26Replies: 775Has thanked: 11291 timesBeen thanked: 2929 times
And why could I not have had those friends, and gone to those parties? For crying out loud, I lived in San Francisco for two years!
Bridgette… missed out!
- March 2, 2021 at 11:56 am #456519DuchessRegistered On: October 24, 2020Topics: 15Replies: 604Has thanked: 1900 timesBeen thanked: 2589 times
So far I haven’t seen a “negative” story from the girls here at CDH.
Even though I “pass” or present well en-femme, I’m a 6ft 4″ brunette amazon! LOL!!
So any woman in the ladies room I’m sure had “read” or “clocked” me as a crossdresser.
The important thing is that GG’s in general are usually more understanding and compassionate…and I’ve found women still pay me compliments on make up, outfit, hair, shoes, etc.
However, YES, I would also like to hear if someone has ever had trouble.
XO Robyn ❤️
- March 2, 2021 at 3:37 am #456285Jennifer LynnLadyRegistered On: August 15, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 234Has thanked: 101 timesBeen thanked: 1238 times
I always use the ladies restroom whether I’m alone or with someone. I’ve never had a problem. Don’t hesitate, just walk right in like it’s where you belong. If you hesitate or act unsure that is when you will draw attention to yourself.
- March 1, 2021 at 10:32 pm #456229Emily AltDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: August 24, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 523Has thanked: 434 timesBeen thanked: 2404 times
- March 1, 2021 at 10:19 pm #456225DuchessRegistered On: October 24, 2020Topics: 15Replies: 604Has thanked: 1900 timesBeen thanked: 2589 times
If your out with other GG’s as friends, certainly having them “escort” you 😁 is always nice.
Respectfully, this topic has come up before…
If your en-femme, this shouldn’t be question…Ladies room only!! Unisex or family if you get lucky!
NEVER use the mens room en-femme!!
Trust me, I been in enough of them now…
There’s really nothing special about the ladies room. I’ve been in a couple that weren’t any better than the men’s room. Eeewww!!
Genevieve put it simply…Be confident, head held high…get in there, do your biz and leave.
Yes…check the mirror and make sure your squared away…like you haven’t tucked your dress into your tights…or have toilet paper on your shoe.
Dont rush yourself…but dont dally around either.
XO Robyn 💃❤️
- March 1, 2021 at 10:01 pm #456221Beth GreenLadyRegistered On: February 24, 2021Topics: 12Replies: 178Has thanked: 629 timesBeen thanked: 892 times
I just had my first trip to the ladies room en femme today. A little nervous at first but just walked right in, went to an empty stall, sat down and did it. The reminder about skirt up, panties down and toes pointing away from toilet is important! Then reposition everything (especially if tucking), head out to sink, wash and primp. No problems!
- March 1, 2021 at 9:41 pm #456219Michelle CrossLadyRegistered On: January 8, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 29Has thanked: 19 timesBeen thanked: 116 times
A few additional details. Do what GGs do. Wash your hands, fix you hair and touch up you lipstick, maybe even your mascara and chit chat with the other women if needed! Be a woman!
- March 1, 2021 at 5:20 pm #456141Celeste StarreLadyRegistered On: June 26, 2018Topics: 36Replies: 909Has thanked: 278 timesBeen thanked: 2912 times
- March 1, 2021 at 5:03 pm #456134Stephanie ScottLadyRegistered On: February 8, 2021Topics: 18Replies: 246Has thanked: 706 timesBeen thanked: 1299 times
I used to go out dressed. Bathrooms can be a challenge. I ALWAYS asked to go to the ladies room and I always tried to make sure nobody else was in there if at all possible. If a business doesn’t want to grant me access to the ladies room, I completely understand. You’re a fool if you think there aren’t predators out there wanting to take advantage of that, and even though I know I’m NOT a predator, I also understand that there is no way for THEM to know that (unless they do a panty and bra check and confirm that it’s about presenting and feeling like a woman in that moment! Lol).
- March 1, 2021 at 10:59 am #455940SharonLadyRegistered On: July 27, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 104Has thanked: 848 timesBeen thanked: 572 times
I have never felt comfortable using gents restrooms as a guy, not sure I’d feel confident or comfortable using the ladies as a girl. I tended to go when visiting a coffee shop with a unisex cubicle as a man, and I expect that may continue.
- March 1, 2021 at 10:07 am #455915GenevïéveLadyRegistered On: July 28, 2020Topics: 26Replies: 1045Has thanked: 9067 timesBeen thanked: 4302 times
- March 1, 2021 at 10:28 am #455927Tonya LerenLadyRegistered On: January 5, 2021Topics: 23Replies: 216Has thanked: 594 timesBeen thanked: 1043 times
I can’t wait to… own it😁 just gotta get over my self doubt. I feel better about myself as a woman than a man… so I just need to let that take over me when I’m Tonya… she’s way more flirtatious and playful than my drab side so I’ll have to just get out and enjoy a good time
- March 1, 2021 at 10:06 am #455914Sandy JaysonDuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 20Replies: 451Has thanked: 919 timesBeen thanked: 2008 times
Tonya, the few times I’ve been out needing to use the rest room, as others have said to go in take care of business and get out. For me it has been so far while out shopping, I try to go at less busy times and first look for family rest rooms first. The idea to have a GG friend help as you go about the nessesities is a good plan also.
- March 1, 2021 at 10:26 am #455926LadyRegistered On: January 5, 2021Topics: 23Replies: 216Has thanked: 594 timesBeen thanked: 1043 times
I’m lucky I feel in the fact that I have a few GG friends that are super supportive of me and I’m sure would gladly go with me. I also have an amazing SO who is stepping over her own comfort zone to be supportive and I’m sure would gladly go with me as well.
- March 1, 2021 at 9:38 am #455900KristaDuchessRegistered On: January 24, 2017Topics: 8Replies: 534Has thanked: 1291 timesBeen thanked: 2308 times
Ah Tonya, the public restroom dilemma. I’ve never had an issue using the ladies restroom when I was dressed en femme even when there have been other ladies in it. BUT I have had comments made to me when I’ve used the men’s restroom, even when I’m dressed in DRAB!!!! Several men have told me I’m in the wrong restroom. I had one woman yell at me as I was walking into the men’s restroom to warn me that I’m going into the wrong restroom. Guess I should have used the ladies, LOL. Just be confident, walk into a stall, sit down. Stay safe, stay healthy, Hugs, Krista.
- March 1, 2021 at 8:32 am #455874Sandy HoneyLadyRegistered On: February 24, 2021Topics: 7Replies: 142Has thanked: 84 timesBeen thanked: 659 times
When dressed as Sandy I use the women’s bathroom. I go in do my business then wash my hands, fix my hair and leave. I have been in the bathroom with other ladies and some mom’s with their daughters. I have had other girls comment on my clothes or the weather and never had an issue. Of course I never stand in the stall and when I pee I make sure to aim into the water. If you have ever noticed women splash when then tinkle, so I want it to sound like I’m one of the tribe. Going into a male bathroom dressed to me just invites a confrontation. So act like you belong in the girls restroom and all will be good. One more thing, when in a skirt I hike it up instead of dropping it down. Women drop their panties not their skirts from my experience.
- March 1, 2021 at 8:26 am #455873Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 52Replies: 1098Has thanked: 3815 timesBeen thanked: 5691 times
If grace needs the ladies, she uses the ladies…imagine the looks she would get using the mens….
If you are in the ladies, you are in a cubicle, so next to no chance of upset anyway….just remember to sit down to pee….
Toes facing the toilet bowl is a no no…
Huggs, grace ❤️
- March 1, 2021 at 8:33 am #455875LadyRegistered On: January 5, 2021Topics: 23Replies: 216Has thanked: 594 timesBeen thanked: 1043 times
That’s how I feel but It still scares me of someone reacting badly if they notice… I don’t know when my first time would be going out yet but wanted to get everyone’s feelings on it. Probably should have added the question of how do you/did you go about it… get the courage to do it or however you want to word what I’m trying to say
- March 1, 2021 at 8:48 am #455878Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 52Replies: 1098Has thanked: 3815 timesBeen thanked: 5691 times
I think its just having the nerve and having the confidence…get it out of your head that the WORLD is staring at Tonya….its just a woman using the ladies….what could be more natural,most people would not look twice, if they were looking at all!!!!
- March 1, 2021 at 8:08 am #455860Michelle CrossLadyRegistered On: January 8, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 29Has thanked: 19 timesBeen thanked: 116 times
I am usually out by myself as Michelle. Since I am presenting as a woman (and seem to pass) I always use the ladies room or family rest room. I have used many in department stores, malls, restaurants, bars, etc. Many times other ladies are present and even interact with me. Of course I act as a lady and never had any issues.
- March 1, 2021 at 8:14 am #455863LadyRegistered On: January 5, 2021Topics: 23Replies: 216Has thanked: 594 timesBeen thanked: 1043 times
Thank you for your response. I’m glad to hear you have never had any issues. This is one of my biggest fears when going out… how to handle it when the time comes…
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