A unique coming out question

[Beth Green]

I’m looking for some advice on an upcoming special event.

This summer, barring further Covid intervention, there will be a 50th class reunion. This will take place a fair distance from where I currently live. Of course I plan on attending. None of my classmates know of Beth or my cross dressing. Because I am out full time now I don’t want to retreat on my life as it is. What are your thoughts on coming out to a large group? I was thinking of talking to the lady that is organizing the event so it’s not a total surprise. I know she will accept it and may have suggestions. My GG best friend offered to come along for support. She can watch for a bad situation and get me out if needed. She will be a kind of chaperone.

It is important that I go as Beth, I just can’t be true to myself if I backtrack to a man.

Thoughts, comments?

❤

Beth

[Anonymous]

Wow Beth thats a biggie, l  have no advice for you as I would not have the courage to attempt something as momentous, all I can say is you have my complete admiration and support in whatever you do.

With much love

Diana

[Alice Underwire]

Hi Beth,

We all age differently and after 50 years show various signs of change.  Most alumni haven’t seen others in many years.  In a public place I’d expect you to be safe.  But the  offer from your best GG friend sounds like a wonderful backup plan in case you need a quick exit.  By all means speak to the organizer as some reunions have a long weekend of trips or outings.  And should you have any dietary or lodging requirements you can bring them up.

Have fun and enjoy!

Alice

[Anonymous]

Hi Beth.

I have never met people i know as grace…although i go out and about its always in my ” bubble”…i feel really safe that way….but travelling to an event solo for the first time is fraught with so many possible problems….

I could just say…go for it girl…but there’s so much more to it than that, you’re not nipping next door for a takeaway…

if you go, the G.G. backup would seem to me to be imperative…please please think about this carefully and stay safe..

Grace xx

 xx

[Cassie Jayson]

. Beth,I would also be interested in any responce to your question. My own 50th reunion is a little over a year away and the thought of going as Sandy is a pleasent thought. Another thing that I cannot get out of my head – my mothers health is not the best and I have been fantisizing about going to the funeral in a black dress. The idea pleases me but I am afraid it would upset some others (like my mothers sister). Back to the reunion ideas your idea of bringing a GG friend to help look out for you is good. Another idea is if your reunion is a couple of events maybe going to one as a male and the other as a female. I do think in this day and age you will find some old classmate accepting and some not- even at our age.
. Sandy

[Anonymous]

I say go for it Beth.. i been thinking about doing that in my school Facebook group.. joining as Effie… and when they ask.. I’ll tell them “it’s me, jeff, but I am now Effie!”
🌺💐

[Beth Green]

Yeah, do it!

[Anonymous]

Go for it.

The coming out advice I was given was ‘go with someone who’ll look after you’.

What they meant by that was someone who’ll read the room for you; take the awkwardness out of bathroom brakes; make sure your lippy’s on point and your dress isn’t tucked in your knickers…. you get the drift. Having someone worry about all this stuff for you means you can relax and enjoy the ‘event’ more.

Sounded like good advice to me, I’ll certainly be taking it.

Didi💋

 

[Dianna Rose]

Do it Beth. Having your friend along is a great idea.

Lee Ann

[Paula F]

Beth, unequivocally you need to go.  Take your GG friend as backup, but by all means go.

I had skipped my 10, 20 and 30 year reunions.  My 40th came up in 2017 and I was going to blow it off as well.  I was about halfway through my cancer treatments, wearing an ileostomy appliance (belly bag for those unfamiliar) and my chemo pump at that time.  I really didn’t feel like going at all.

My youngest niece found the invitation and just would not accept a ‘no way’ response.  She made all the arrangements with the folks sponsoring it, hotel reservations and even some shopping for something to wear to conceal all of my medical paraphernalia.  I was convinced that it really draw a lot of air ( suck hard) and that I would be the subject of most negative conversations.

But we went.  My niece had made sure the t-shirt they were making for everyone had my correct femme name, as did my name tag.  If there were any rude or disrespectful comments made, I never heard them.  My sexuality and identification was a huge non topic.

I had a very pleasurable time, and I am sure you will too.  The people who will accept you, will vastly outnumber those who won’t.   Don’t be afraid or shy, go with the attitude of ‘this is me now, I am here and I  love how I am.   Go for it!

PaulaF

[Anonymous]

What a beautiful story Paula, you must be so glad you went despite the difficulties.

Your niece must be one determined young lady. With such as her in the younger generation there may be hope for the world yet.

Hugs

Diana.

 

[Becka]

For me,

I was in a tough environment. I went to my 10 year reunion and it was so depressing I vowed never to go again.

The people who were jerks were still jerks. I’d have to be prepared for a fight if I were to go to an event like this in gurly clothes.

Not kidding

[ChloeC]

I certainly can’t tell you what to expect, but I went to my 10th, 25th and 50th HS reunion (we were supposed to have a 40th and not one person of the class of 1000 stepped up do anything). When the 50th approached, I jumped up and said I’d help out, and I sort of became the defacto committee chair, tho I lived 200+ miles away. Fortunately the committee had a number of classmates that I had known since 4th grade.

I will tell you the 10th was absolutely the pits. It was like many of the people had been out of HS for like 2-3 months, the same cliques, the same attitudes, (there were even some backhanded putdowns of one or two of the less popular girls if you can believe that) so I wasn’t sure I wanted go to the 25th. But I went and had a fabulous time and I vowed that if we had another I’d help out and make it as good or better than the 25th and for the 50th it was what I hoped it would be.

Now I was never in any of the popular groups, but I knew and was friendly with lots of my classmates. What I found was that by the later reunions, most of the people had relaxed and were more interested in just finding out what happened to everyone rather than their close buds from school days.

So, I would say, if you had a bad experience at a reunion prior to the 20th, give one of the later ones another try. No guarantees but I think it could be worth it.  And be as friendly and open as you can, showing that you enjoy being there and seeing what others have done as much as anyone.

Now, about coming out, yes, go with a friend for support, let others know, and if it’s one of the later reunions, I would hope enough classmates there are comfortable enough in their own skins that they won’t have a problem with others who also want to come back and may not be exactly what they were expecting.  We all go through changes in life, some subtle, some quite drastic and I think as people get older they begin to see the wider world and understand that people do change, some for the better, some for the worse.

I wish you all the best if you go, and let us know how it went.

[Beth Green]

I just messaged with the organiser and it is on hold again because of Covid. The 50th was actually last year but was cancelled. It  might still happen this year but no firm plans have been made yet.

😷

Beth

[Author]

Posts