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Schools are closed today due to gale force winds, and I find myself with an unscheduled day off of work. While at physical therapy today, I found that I was looking forward to the unexpected opportunity to enjoy a girly day. Neither the unexpected opportunity or enjoyment of a girly day is what caused me to be startled. Rather it was my choice to describe the day as girly, and that I felt that my chosen adjective of girly was the correct and appropriate modifier to describe my day.
Throughout my journey and exploration, I have learned many things about myself. The most important, however, are what I have learned about how I view my gender identity. I know that I am a man, and that I do not desire to be a woman. As this view and its accompanying feelings have solidified, I had found that I took a displeasure with the traditional labels. I feel that none are descriptive of who I am and my feelings. As such, I really hated referring to days as either femme or drab. To use such labels felt very dishonest to me. In my heart, all clothes whether traditionally women’s or men’s are just clothes. I am comfortable wearing a suit and tie one day and a dress and hells the next. Better yet, I enjoy mixing and matching clothes as dictated by my mood. Regardless of the clothes that I am wearing at any given moment, I am the same person, me.
Given my views as described above, I was really shocked that my choice to describe today as a girly day. I was even more shocked when I realized that I meant it, and hadn’t chosen the word to make my intentions clear in the chat stream. I am not clear what this will mean going forward. Perhaps, it demonstrates a greater understanding of who I am, or perhaps, it is nothing. Either way, I will embrace it today.
As have been mentioned clothes are clothes for me many years of drab has put me in a opportunity to see myself in a unique way. To enjoy the discovery of wearing clothes so close to my inner feelings and has become special to me. Seeing my time as Stephanie is short lived at most times so referring to our time as a girly day I think is not wrong in anyway but a moment that I find is very special and one that I enjoy so much. As said this is who we are and who we want to be.” Girly day ” sounds good to me. 🌹
I like being a man. I love to wear so called women’s clothes and like to present a pretty feminine appearance as best I can. I find I dress in my women’s clothes most of the time and only go back to my male clothes when I feel I should or have to. I’ve become gender fluid. I like presenting as a female because I love the clothes, but like being a man.
Thank you, MacKenzie, your inspired writing has served me as a spur to a deep introspection. Clothes can never be more important than people. The labels should dissapear, but human beings are too used to them. We are the ones who decide to be ourselves or play a role in front of others. The ties are difficult to unleash. I increasingly believe that I should feel happy to be who I am. This place has helped me achieve it. Life is an eternal search for what we understand as happiness, but the beginning is the acquired conciousness of being who we are and that in our acceptance of ourselves lies the success or failure of our existence.
As Sabrina similarly stated here, I also get excited about the opportunity to have a girly day (or even a few girly hours). Due to my situational closeted-ness (hmmm… did I just coin a new term?) such opportunities are infrequent.
But the label of “girly” has been appropriate and necessary for me since I have been experiencing my strong feminine resurgence these past few years. I’m just really not sure why it feels so…
Tricia Lynn
Hi Mackenzie, I understand where you are coming from, I was in a similar situation with an unexpected chance to be Andrea. The feeling of excitement at the thought of having an unexpected four hours or so as Andrea also made me feel extremely happy but also somewhat shocked that this short period being the person I want to be was so exciting. I suppose it’s all connected with coming to terms with who we are and the feelings we want to experience when dressed. Your thoughts of a ‘girly day’ are possibly from somewhere deep in your mind providing a description that perhaps you really believe? Anyway whatever the reason, enjoy your time as Mackenzie because thats what it’s all about.
Andrea xx
I think for me the “girlieness” of crossdressing is what attracted me in the beginning. I have always desired to be girly from the first day I wore female clothing. I functioned well as just a man but I am glad after much sacrifice and hard work I am now girly every day. I would be devastated if I ever had to resume life in my male persona again.
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