Better for Crossdressing

[Tara Wilde]

Being a cross dresser has definitely made me a better person in many ways. Finding forums like CDH has also helped me realize that I am not alone in my desire to express this part of who I am and not feel weird or self-conscious about those desires and feelings. I could talk about how cross dressing has made me appreciate what females go through every day of their lives, not only trying to look good for men, but also to express to other women who they are, and how they fit into the feminine world. I could talk at length about how dressing as a women makes me feel desirable and sexy. I could talk about how dressing as a women has made me better as a man, expressing feelings, building deeper relationships, and caring for how I look.

But the first major way being a cross dresser has made me a better person is through the appreciation for taking care of all parts of my body, including mind and attitude. Men usually don’t properly take care of, if at all, many parts of their body. Truly having a holistic view of your entire body and how taking care of it gives you inner confidence, anxiety, peace, conflict, and pleasure, is something I did not expect. I desire to have skin that is appealing and even attractive. I desire to have clothes that make me look attractive, comfortable, confident, sexy, happy, and expressive of who I am as a person. I understand the frustrations and anxiety when you don’t look and feel like you desire, leading to the feelings of anxiety and conflict mentioned above.

I desire to be more than a passable women, hoping someday to be truly confident with my feminine body, mind, and spirit. Understanding the body and how you take care of it directly impacts that desire for me and has been life changing. I pay more attention to the advertisements and all the media directed at women in this area. It was overwhelming at first, and still is to some extent, to take it all in and swim through the massive amount of information, hype, and sheer targeting of the female image and self esteem. I hope to get better at being able to focus on what’s good for me and helping me express my feminine side in a better way.

But more importantly is the desire to be consistent in my body maintenance and improvement. Moisturizing and grooming are becoming daily cares instead of when it became more of noticeable issue. Understanding my facial and body shapes, and how they can affect my appearance is new to me. Everything doesn’t need to be skin tight, short, and revealing to be beautiful and sexy. As I get older, age appropriate clothing and looks are becoming important to remember, especially in the way other women look at you. And all this is easier if you exercise and take care of your body shape.

For the second area that has made me a better person, cross dressing has made me realize how the mind and attitude affects the results of cross dressing. Lack of confidence and self esteem in who you are shows outwardly. Hesitation in our movements, how we carry ourselves, and who we see ourselves to be, positively and negatively affects how we appear to others. Ever gone out having “a bad hair day” and reflect on how you dressed, acted, and interacted (or not) with others? Having the same lack of confidence when your makeup isn’t “perfect” or your hair (wig) is uncontrollable or a mess.

What cross dressing has made me realize is that I should care about these things, make the time to improve my abilities to handle properly, and be confident in where I am at this time. Saying that, I am still very early in my learning and improving my feminine abilities, so I am very private in my feminine expression at this time. But I have learned without discipline and practice, I will not grow and be confident in these feminine feelings and ways. I am also finding ways to express what I consider more feminine related items as a male, such as caring about accessories like wearing jewelry.

[Author]

Posts