Better for Crossdressing

[Alison Anderson]

Some people call crossdressing a curse.  We have to hide part of ourselves for years, and some for their whole lifetime.  While I’ve had my share of hiding, I consider crossdressing a blessing.

People talk about the gender gap, the differences between the male and female perspective.  Although sometimes this can be huge, I have taken steps to close the gender gap.  I don’t claim I’ve made significant progress narrowing the gap.  But at least an effort to see the other perspective.

I know what it feels like to dress in something soft and pretty, or to wear something sexy.  I have experienced joy when I get a compliment on my outfit.  I have experienced being treated like a woman.

I understand the joy of shopping and the thrill of finding a real bargain. I understanding what women are trying to do with makeup enough to not ask “What is taking you so long?”  I get why they need another black skirt, how it is subtly different from the others and will be used for different occasions. And despite having a closet overflowing with clothes, I have on occasion felt that “I have nothing to wear.”

I also have experienced wearing a pair of heels or a corset for fashion even if it was uncomfortable.  I have broken nails, or had nails snag and catch on hosiery, ruining them, sometimes the first time I put them on.  I have experienced how a short skirt changes the way you bend and the way you sit, as well as restricts you from certain activities.  I have felt a tight skirt force me to take smaller steps and have had to catch a fly-away skirt on a windy day.  I have lost earrings, sometimes on my first wear.  And I have sometimes felt more vulnerable when out alone.

While none of these are big revelations, the sum total gives me empathy towards women which I believe they appreciate.

My crossdressing has changed me for the better in another way.  Shortly after having my first makeover and eating in public at a diner, I started attending parties for crossdressers and transgender folk.  At these parties I saw a number of beautiful women with masculine voices.  I started to examine the roles of gender.

A few months later, our synagogue was looking for a new Rabbi.  The search committee recommended a female Rabbi, the first in the 45+ year history of the synagogue and first in my life.  A few years ago it would have been out of the question just on principle.  For nothing more than “tradition”, I couldn’t see having a female Rabbi.  But this time I did a complete turnaround. It didn’t bother me in the least.  Gender didn’t matter to me.  And it turned out to be one of the best decisions we made.  I can say my change in attitude could be traced back to my being a crossdresser.

[Lara Muir]

Alison,

What a great topic. I have only been at this a few years, but it sure has changed my perspective in a lot of ways as well.
Congratulations to your new Rabbi!

💕Lara

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by Lara Muir.

[Alison Anderson]

Lara, she left last year, but was with us for 10 years, and was the best Rabbi I ever had.  I was limited in how much I could say in the original post because of contest rules.

[Michelle Brown]

I too,call crossdressing a blessing.I know what it feels like to have someone hold the door open for me or to smile at me and say”I like your dress”.I always knew better than to ask “What takes you so long?”.I have and will continue to ,as the phrase says”Walk a mile in their shoes”.I know I am a better man for being a crossdresser and will continue to be the best part time lady that I can be.

[Alison Anderson]

Thanks, Michelle.  Yes, I’ve walked many a mile in their shoes, and will continue to do so.

[Lacy Satin]

I’ve been crossdressing almost my entire life. I’m proud to call myself a crossdresser.

Crossdressing has saved me from depression, it’s also a wonderful stress reliever, and having the ability to get in touch with your feminine side is something I could not see myself living without.

Crossdressing for me is all about experiencing femininity and that is not to be confused with experiencing being female.  I love the fact that I know what it’s like to wear pretty clothes and have people tell me how pretty I look. When I’m dressed I see the world in a different light, and it’s full of vibrant colors.  Dressing allows me to be more open with my emotions, I find it easy to smile and laugh, and cry.

The fact that I have walked a mile in womens shoes and willing to stand side by side with a woman and have all the empathy in the world for what she goes through every day as a female, I think makes me a better person.

I will never know what it is like to be female, but I thank God for the opportunity I was given to open my mind to desiring to explore femininity.

[Alison Anderson]

I also say I know what it is like to be feminine but have no idea what it is like to be feminine.

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