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Hi ladies.
When buying clothes – not so much underwear, do you
A. Play safe and buy online
B. Play almost safe by buying your dresses in charity shops
C. Go to a chain store and brass it out
D. Go to the chain store and try on your choices in their fitting rooms
E. Go to a boutique for one to one service
Where are you on the scale, I’m currently on C but summoning up the nerve to try D
I use A when there is not a brick and mortar store in my area, for example Karina Dresses I buy on-line. I rather go to the store and find things, feel the material and then try it on to see if I like how it looks on me. I do go to boutiques sometimes but their clothing can be expensive compared to Macy’s, Kohls and Belk’s. If I go to charity shops I try and find the ones close to upscale homes and subdivisions since the clothing donated can be nicer.
I do LOVE shopping for beautiful girly clothing!
Dee, I’m a D.
Initially I bought things from Amazon but stopped because the difference in ladies sizes from one brand to another along with the presence of so much poorly made stuff from China caused me to constantly return things.
I now shop en femme in all the chain stores and try things on everywhere. It has made my life easier and more fun as well. I’ve never had a problem.
Thanks Fiona, I go shopping in masculine mode so I’m not sure how going to the changing room will be received x
D. I just grab what i want to try on and bring it into the fitting room. I don’t care what the attendant might think…it will give them something to talk to their friends about after work lol
Once in a while I’ll order something online. But my biggest shopping would be thrift stores. A lot of my femme wardrobe came from Goodwill. And I sometimes get stuff in department and clothing stores too. There are a couple stores where I feel comfortable trying things on, Torrid is always fine, and Ragstock sometimes, some sales associates make me feel more comfortable than others.
Nancy
They may have some presence in Canada too, but yes, they are primarily a US store. The nice thing about Torrid is they have larger sizes. So I mostly use them for footwear, as I can get size 12 or 13 shoes in wide sizes. My feet are too big to find womens shoes in department stores, but I’ve accidentally gotten shoes that were too big at Torrid before. 🙂
Nancy
I get some stuff on Amazon. I go to thrift stores to be picky and find quality for cheap.
I also go to bigger stores find what I want and try it on. I have also shopped in smaller boutique stores.Seems like nobody really cares in the end you are just spending money.
Susan
Exactly, as lo g as you are spending, nobody cares, at most you might be a topic over the next coffee break
Love a charity shop, where Nicola’s gets most things. Used, when younger get so embarassed, now only when buying a bra – def need to check that drawer when that charity shop is again open, need an extra bra or two. Not mentioning all the slips, and else Nicola finds, she found in her last charity shop visit some Wolford tights for a quid. Not forgetting the ankle highs in the next one, also a pack of 5 for a quid. Toodle
rassed
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Same here.
Dee,
D and E
XO Ginger
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Only A and C so far. Have purchased clothes in a store while en femme but only underclothes so the need to use a changing room has not yet arisen
Rachel Hi Dee i am a A B C type and thinking about D feels like its on the way ha ha .. Has to be out of town as not much here in my area to shop at ..
Stephanie Bass
Well A) mostly, still playing it safe, but when out with the wife we may stop by a B) I’ll check it out. if she’s busy looking else where and it’s out of the way place I’ll take note. The other day I was driving by our local Dollar General and they had some sort of rack sale going on outside with summer wear! Thought about stopping, but we get milk and emergency (oh I have no hot dog rolls) stuff there all the time.
So I played it safe. Maybe some day I’ll graduate up to C and D!Lisa
Hi Dee,
I go with A , and a little bit of C. I have gotten a lot of things from Amazon. They will ship some things to Kohl’s for pickup. One of the clerks there got to the point that she would say my name as I got to the pickup counter.
I eventually found out that you can order on line for Kohl’s as well, and have things shipped to a location by you. In store pickup is great! You open an app on your phone type in a code, and it tells you what bin your order is in. Then you grab it, and go.If the dress you order doesn’t fit though, you still have to take that to the counter for the return. The guy that was there when I did that was really cool.
On occasion you might have to go to the pickup counter to get your order.That happened once when I ordered about a dozen panties. The girl at the counter had a little bit of a smirk on her face that time as she radioed another associate to bring the order from another location inside the store. I’m thinking they might have had something to talk about at break time that afternoon.😏Lara
Although I do buy the odd item online, I’m happy to browse the racks in stores and pick out something I like. I haven’t had to use the changing rooms so far in a store as I know what suits me and know my size , but if I had to, I wouldn’t have an issue trying something on to see if it fits.
Women’s clothing sizes are not standardized. They even vary within the same manufacturer. How a garment was intended to fit also comes into play with traditional, oversize, bodycon, etc. fits…
In jackets, blouses and dresses, usually I wear an 18 and occasionally a 16. On the Chico’s size chart, in theory, I should wear their size 4 as that is sized for a bust of 46” to 47”. However, due to many of their jackets being oversize, a size 3 fits just fine. Further, just recently I bought another Chico’s silk jacket and it was actually their size 2.
The moral to this story is either try it on, or if not in person, know your measurements and compare it to the garment’s measurements. For some reason, many of the sellers on sites like Poshmark, Mercari and others are really lazy about taking and posting measurements for their listings. I’ve gotten to the point now where my thought process is that they don’t deserve my money if they are too lazy to do measurements.
A few years back, I was really interested in am item and asked the seller for measurements. She said that she didn’t know as it wasn’t list on the price tag! You know, you just can’t make up BS like this!?!?
Mostly A and C but recently my SO and I made a D in a department store, she was outside the changing room handing me the items to try on, there was a GG in the next room and she was a little curious, my SO told me.
Great experience, are gonna do it again.
Just do it! Often there is nobody there to see what you have; use the men’s changing room; but mostly just go in and try on. I have never had a problem. Most store personnel are not interested in anything but looking busy to keep their jobs and getting a sale for commission or to keep their jobs. Best, Marlene.
All of the above plus big box warehouse stores. Although, i like the small, quiet boutique shops where you can get help and try stuff on.
Robin
A & C for me, if I see something I love in-store I’ll get it, otherwise online given more variety and options obviously.
Mostly C with a hint of B for me. Its more fun in person, and I can physically hold things up and check it out. Only thing I’ve purchased on line were my breast forms. Not too many stores near me carry those… 🙂
Stevie
Have not bought a dress yet but need to lose some weight first!
I shop at thrift stores, buy jeans, couple of tops, capri length pants and sometimes shoes. I’ve bought (and tried on) shoes at Macy’s, Nordstrom rack and Marshals. Underwear there too. Some of the clothes and shoes I’ve bought when with my wife. I even showed her a couple of pair on occasion and she’ll usually respond positively. Primarily because they are generally androgynous in style. She has not seen my collection of Steve Madden flats, or other similar styles.
I went to JC Penney’s and bought my first bras and and panties. Used self checkout and no one said anything to me. Went to Target and bought my first nylons and and tights. Same experience. I wanted to see what I was getting.
However I did online shopping through Shien yo get my first dresses, blouses and skirts. Most stores around me do not carry plus size clothes. Plus it is so easy to select and have delivered rather than running around to a lot of stores. I did the same for my heels.
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It was the same week that I went out to lunch dressed femme with a CDH friend and also answered my door to takeaway delivery in short chemise and short kimono style robe.Rachel
My favorite is shopping at the store while dressed. It’s just so intoxicating to be able to leisurely browse the selections and then take your pics to the dressing room to try on. I usually don’t have trouble with zippers. Once, I was trying on a cocktail dress and had to go ask the salesclerk to zip me up.
Wow Roberta, having the nerve to ask to be zipped up is incredible. I bet her jaw dropped. You should take newbie dressers on shopping trips to build their confidence xx
Actually, she was so very sweet and came back to say how much she liked two of the dresses I picked. Then chatted with me up to the register. When I’m out like that I just think of myself as a woman, so I don’t let negatives take up space in my mind. I found on my very first outing. If I act nervous or insecure it gives off a vibe, that something might be wrong. Kind of like a nervous shoplifter in a store. So I just pull all of my composure together and just act as womanly as I know how to be. I also know that I’m human not the prettiest and not the worst looking girl out there. Just act like its nothing and enjoy the experience of being a girl. It truly is wonderful.
I was in a lane Bryant once trying on dresses. I became friendly with one of the salesgirls. She put me in a room and said gimme a shout if you need anything. Dress after dress I was in heaven. I had one with a zipper that I couldn’t get. Had my bralett and panties on, dress round my shoulders. I called her name and she’s like what’s up hun? I said I need a quick zip. She opened the door I already had my back to the door. She reached in and ZIIIIIP mmmmmm what a feeling. Lemme know when you need it undone. I stood there admiring this beautiful over priced dress. She came in and asked if I was ready. I sighed and said yes please. She unzipped me took the dresses I didn’t want and left me to man up again. Lol. Love her and that store
I mostly buy online now. It’s convenient when you live in a small town. Years ago, before I really had a good idea of sizes, I would go into stores or consignment shops and just try them on. What people who would probably never see me again (unless I came back shopping) thought of my choices in clothes … I couldn’t care less.
I am also at a c I go to the chain stores brows the woman’s departments I try to go when there is not a large crowd when things are a bit slow so as not to attract attention or make anyone uncomfortable by me being there. I try not to linger too long especially in the lingerie department. There is where the most tension my come with other real girls trying to shop for there intimates and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.I am already nervous and uncomfortable.It has gotten easier after all the many times I have been shopping but it still is not tension free.
Thanks Debbie,
It’s interesting that you go when it’s quiet because I find it easier to be anonymous when it’s busy xx
Hello Dee, I am on D on your list. I am happy to go into any store & buy my clothes including undies. I go in in male mode or fully dressed as Helenmarie, most assistants are happy to serve me what ever I buy. I have tried dresses on in the changing rooms as well & that was fine, I am much more confident now & ok going out as a woman & not worring about what people say.
love HelenmarieI have always bought online until recently. A store had some tops on sale that I wanted but I was unsure of the sizing. A couple of years ago I had bought some pantyhose at this same store and thought I was going to pass out. This time I went in and found the tops I wanted. I held them up to check the sizing then picked the colors I wanted and was on my way, no nerves or anything. I think I’ll be doing more C in the future.
Thanks for this interesting question Dee. I buy anywhere I see something that I like so all choices are ok with me. I do use posh and thrift shops a lot but also Kohls and Macys etc. both in person and online. I really like to try things on to be sure of the fit so I will often use the changing rooms as they are available. I have no problem asking staff questions about the garments or sales. I’ve always been treated well by most of them. Marg
It is handy knowing my size, as I mostly buy “on line”, from a catalogue. I on rare occasions I do buy from stores if I see something that I like.
I answer to the question it would be A, with on rare occasions being C.
Thanks Requal,
Shopping online has certainly made it easier for us, but which gives you the most fun x
i go to the big department stores such as Macy’s, Dillard’s and Nordstrom’s. They have a lovely selection and are all very understanding and helpful. If I want to get more for my dollar, Goodwill is my choice because of their helpfulness and their fitting rooms.
Good luck to you.. shopping in person is so much more enjoyable!
Well, being a big girl, I mainly do A & C, but there have been times I’ve done D. Want to do more D in the future, especially when en femme.
Hey Dee,
i opt in for B and D. I mostly shop en femme and i know what i clothes i want: jacket, skirt, etc. I put on all clothes that have to fit and have a nice day out.
A and C for me mostly but I did recently have my first experience actually trying on something in a lingerie boutique recently. So, my first experience with option D!
Hugs,
Emily
Hi Emily
Wow, actually trying on lingerie in the shop must have been an incredible buzz, You must have felt amazing x
I do occasionally buy online, but nearly everything I own is bought from stores and charity shops. If size is doubtful, I try the clothes on in the store. If I’m in a mixes store, I’ll use the gents changing rooms, but if it’s a female store, I use the female changing rooms as there is no option. I very rarely have a problem.
Cerys.
The first clothing item I bought for myself at 13 was pantyhose. I knew exactly what I wanted and where to get it. I was very excited as I went to the store and bought them. Then soon after, I decided I had to have bras and panties, same thing. I went to a store and bought them.
Then at 17, I decided it’s finally time to go out as a girl. I went and bought some short shorts and a pair of platform wedges. It was no big deal. I had been buying my own pantyhose, bras and panties for 4 years.
When no one was home, I dressed in my little outfit. I loved it, but realized nearly immediately I needed hair. I looked around for wigs and saw a perfect one in a wig store window. I so wanted to go in and buy it, but fear came over me and it held me back. After several more trips to the wig store and admiring and longing for the wig in the window, and lots of chickening out, I finally mustered up the courage to go in and buy the wig. In fact I bought two of them. I was very nervous but wanted them so bad.
That was the first time I can recall where I was nervous and chickened out several times. I guess it was that final step to going fully femme that made me nervous. After that there was countless other nervous and chicken out instances. But before the wig purchase, all my femme clothes buys was filled with excitement about my new items and the anticipation of wearing them.
Thanks Patty for your lovely story, I can almost see you staring into the wig shop window display while summoning up the courage to go in. I’m so glad you did and thank you for sharing your memories x
Oh my yes Dee. To be standing there seeing that hair I wanted so badly to complete my girl look was so close. But fear pushed me away. So many years of dreams and fantasies of being dressed as a girl and going out and showing off my sexy legs in pantyhose, short shorts and heels was dashed every time fear showed up and drove me away from the store.
I kept going back, thinking I had the courage to go in, but fear pushed me away again. I thought if only I had that wig, I could be out girly all the time. So many years of dreams, fantasies and desire could come true if only I had that wig. I would stand there longing, dreaming and fantasizing. That last piece was just a few feet away. All I had to do was go in and get it. So simple a thing to do unless fear intervenes.
Finally the right combination of feelings converged and I was able to go in there and buy not just the brown wig in the window, but a dirty blonde on in the same style. Those two wigs took me all the way through my dressing days in college.
Patty, thanks for sharing. How wonderful you did that. Had to be amazing, unforgettable experiences!
Yes it was wonderful, amazing and unforgettable. That first time having a brand new pair of sheer to waist pantyhose in the right size with no runs or holes in them was such an exciting thrill. Then to get bras and panties to wear with my pantyhose, was an amazing thrill.
Davina,
The desire to have these things may have overwhelmed my fears or anxiety I had about buying them, as I don’t recall having any of those feelings, just pure excitement.
At 17 when I dressed in my little Daisy Duke outfit and saw myself in the mirror, such euphoric and even orgasmic feelings came rushing over me. I looked like a girl with sexy legs in pantyhose and heels shown off in short shorts. When I backed away from the mirror though, the whole euphoria state cam crashing down. I was a boy wearing those clothes. I must have a wig.
Up until then, every clothing item I bought was filled with thrill, excitement and anticipation. I couldn’t wait to put them on. I didn’t even want to wait until I got home. I wanted to put them on in the store and wear them right there and then. I began doing that later, but that’s another story.
Going to the wig store and looking in the window was the first time I ever recall feeling the fear of buying something. Buying pantyhose, bras, panties, short shorts and even shoes was easy. I went in a store, saw what I wanted, took them off the shelf or rack, paid for them and left. I really didn’t have to interact much with others. Now I might have to. How do I explain, I want to buy a wig because I want to dress like a girl and go out but I need a wig to complete my girly look.
Those thoughts scared me off so many times until one day, I just had the right level of desire and courage to go in there. I told the woman there that I was in a show at school and I needed longer hair for the part. I thought that brown wavy wig in the window would be perfect. She let me try on the brown wig and a dirty blonde one of the same style. As I was wearing them and looking at myself, I washed so much I was in my girly clothes and could leave the store as a girl.
I bought both the wigs and couldn’t wait to wear them, with my little Daisy Duke outfit. I wore those two wigs as often as I could and wore them all through my dressing days in college, of which there was many.
well i buy my dresses in store and online, make up in store, perfume in store and by publisher clearing house. i am not afraid of what people think when i buy in store.
Mostly A but C is also very safe too: it’s the SAME as buying your partner something sexy.
So I’m doing also C here and there, sometimes for myself and sometimes for my wife (as a non-CD man is doing).
Hi Maya,
As in my post I’m D and E. Just got call from boutique that my wig came in. They asked if ready to try on. Had something to do, so have to call back to arrange appointment, hopefully Saturday. Very excited, mind buzzing with what to wear. Wife laughing, says such a girl. Can’t wait.
XOXO Ginger 😘D and E are my first choices. I will but online, and did start in that manner. However, I have always love to shop, and to this day prefer to shop in person. I hate having to return clothes, and love trying on new items to get my first opinion in the store.
The only option that I have not used is B. Being a plus plus girl, I have never had much luck at charity shops for both masculine or feminine attire.
MacKenzie Alexandra
Hi Dee
I am an A and B , I know that I can return any clothes that I buy online if they don’t fit but tend not to and take them to the charity shop instead. The next time I go out dress shopping I am going straight to D. It will be interesting to see what reaction I get from the shop assistants. x
Hey Dee,
when going to the chain store and try on your choices in the fitting room there will be no noticeable response. If you behave naturally anyone else will to.
Good luck and it will be a fun day!
My thing is underdressing in retro foundations, so it’s exclusively online these days as that’s the only way I can get the types of bras and girdles I like. But even if it were possible to get old-fashioned styles elsewhere, I’ve too many bad memories of what it used to be like as mortified young student back in the early 80s, nervously approaching the lingerie counter to get myself a girdle.
Oh Davina that must have been awful. I can almost see the judgemental assistant pumping out her chest and looking over her glasses at you
So pleased you stuck at it, I’ve never considered wearing a girdle before but it’s a tempting thought now xThe first time I got an incredulous “you’re buying this for yourself?” response that got the attention of everyone on the floor. I then had to walk behind her to the changing room to be measured for my panty girdle, with all eyes on me.
The second time was worse. I was buying a bra and open girdle – my first time with both – so I had to be measured for them and then instructed in how to fasten my bra and how to fasten stockings to girdle suspenders, all to the accompaniment of giggling from the assistants on the other side of the curtain. Once I was in my new bra, girdle and stockings I decided it would be easier to just keep them on. After dressing, I walked rather stiffly to the counter to pay, with everyone in the department knowing what I was wearing. It seemed to take forever to get it paid and get the hell out of there, trying to ignore the assistants with hands over their mouths to hide smiles and suppress giggles and definitely trying to avoid eye contact with everyone as I didn’t know what was worse – the amusement and mockery in the eyes of the assistants or the outrage of the older female customers.
Thank God for the internet!
But you did it. Well done, where (especially at that time) most wouldn’t have had the nerve to try – let alone brass neck it through to the end – you did so. Without trail blazers like you, that attitude would still persist today so I abd all the girls who commented on positive experiences in shops, owe you our thanks xx
Mostly A and C for me have gone to thrift stores around Halloween and bought clothes. I have had to return things from time to time, but have gotten pretty good at getting the right size, being a plus size, but have been losing some weight and it’s been great to start sizing down a bit on my dresses and tops. Even had some skirts I bought on E-bay and they were just hanging in the closet and some have started to fit now, and they’re really cute!!!
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E. I have a great relationship with the salespeople at Penningtons. I usually hear someone calling my name out soon as I walk in the store. They are very helpful in picking out clothes that fit for me.
Tina,
Well done. Love your profile. God’s blessings to you.
Eccl.4:7-12 Companionship and friends.
Hugs. Ginger
Usually just shop whenever and wherever the the mood hits me. Not much of a big deal if anyone questions me anylonger.
I buy a lot of clothes at the Salvation Army thrift shop. I have gotten several blouses and skirts there that are super cute. I bought bras at Kohls and Target. Everything else is too expensive. Bought a dress online that was too tight. This girl needs to lose 20 pounds.
Buying clothes has always been the easy part. Going to buy panties and bras, I get more funny looks than regular clothing. I’ve been shopping for panties and had a woman jokingly say at the register, “I hope they fit you,” and I responded, “They will I’m wearing a pair now.” She turned bright red and didn’t say anything else. I thought it was so funny. I’m at the point in my life I don’t care what people think about me wearing panties or woman clothing.
I am now a full time girl so my choice is D and E, all my shopping is done in person while dressed, I bought a new Columbia jacket last week, tried on various ones before finding the perfect one. I’ve tried on dresses, skirts, pants and tops in the ladies dressing rooms, and bought earrings at a jewelry store saying they were for me. I know my bra size so there’s no need to try them on. I go into Sephora and MAC for makeup, tried lip colors, eyeliners and foundation shades. It’s so fun to be a girl and go shopping!!
Hugs girls,
Ms. Lauren M
I would say that I haven’t done “E” yet, but I did once have a bra fitting at Torrid during a promotion so that I could get a discount. Nevertheless that was the only occasion, so I’m safely up to “D”, although that doesn’t apply to Savers now because post-COVID they tore down their changing rooms. They do have a 14 day exchange policy, but you still have to be reasonably sure of your find fitting you or being able to exchange it for something later on that does. Back in the day I used to be hesitant about even approaching the lingerie section of a store, but now I not only utilize the changing rooms of Torrid and Lane Bryant as well as big name retailers but often do so fully dressed, all without batting an eye. I often find the best selection online but you should be sure of your sizes and acquaint yourself with the merchant’s exchange policy just to be safe.
Christine
I get my clothes from either Amazon , Walmart , or goodwill. Amazon I’ve had the best luck for getting dresses in my size . Walmart for all underwear. Occasionally you can find some cute clothes also. When I first started dressing I would buy lots at goodwill and then donate most of it back because it didn’t fit me (I was too embarrassed to return them) . These days I hardly ever go to goodwill because they don’t even organize it by size . It can take hours to find anything in my size and then it still doesn’t fit . So yea .. amazon is best haha.
I am b and d, I have bought dresses at thrift stores, I have also bought and tried on clothes at Victorias Secret, I could never pass as a Women so I go dressed as a man. They are always very helpful to me and I make it clear that the clothes are for me. I have even had a bra fitting at Victoria’s Secret. I must say again they are very helpful and understanding to cross dressers.
Hi Dee, I’m mostly B and C i never buy online because I’m married and I’m still in the closet to my wife, there is one thing though because my wife and me are both about the same size i get a lot of my wife’s cast off’s, apart from her lingerie she has bigger boob’s than me so i buy my own bra’s, I always buy them new from store’s and i always buy the matching panties,
Hugs Rozalyn X
I go to a clothes shop, or a shoe shop or to whatever shop I need to and buy what I want. I have shopped enfemme and in “drab”. I prefer to try things on in “drab”, funnily enough. It’s so much easier to take off a shirt & jeans (stockings, bra panties underneath) than trying to do it fully dressed. There, I hope that helps. Joanna XX
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