This topic contains 6 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Morgan LaFey 4 months ago.

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  • #191579

    Morgan LaFey
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    Registered On: June 18, 2019
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    In general I try to relax and just enjoy the thrill of dressing up, but my mental health frequently gets in the way. I’ll put on a favorite dress thinking “yes, I feel so sexy.”

    Then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. How can anybody find this gross gremlin sexy? Your belly sticks out. You have no butt. Your feet are too big. Your legs are too short. Your nose is too big. It honestly makes me want to set fire to my entire wardrobe and never look back.

    I hate getting in that mindset, because it really ruins the fun of dressing up. I want to feel sexy and I want to BE sexy, but all I see is a monster. My wife, bless her heart, always reassures me. She gives me kisses and tells me “I think you’re beautiful,” but my brain just keeps spreading its lies.

    Hopefully this all makes sense as it’s just kind of word vomit. Does anybody else deal with these insecurities? How do you combat them?

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  • #191667
     stephanie plumb 
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    Registered On: November 17, 2018
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    I read that only 10% of ciswomen have the coveted “hourglass figure” – the goal of many CD’ers. Why?There are all shapes and sizes out there – buttless, HUGE butted,  a figure like a plank of wood, no boobs, boobs almost touching the ground,  lumpy bodies like “two boys fighting under a blanket”.   Faces like a “bag of spanners”  or “a bulldog kissing a wasp.”  I have a neighbour who looks like a stick insect (she does not have an eating disorder).  I see lots who just make no effort to look attractive at all.

    You can see the above any day in any town. They get on with it.

    Sounds as if you just have low self confidence. Pick up your panties, read a lot of relevant fashion posts, and do the best you can with what you have got – which is probably better than the picture painted above. Are you a monster when in man mode? I bet you are not. You need to look thru the person in the mirror at the inner woman hiding within.

    Huge tip – use an eyebrow pencil to darken, arch, and lengthen your brows, and wear false eyelashes (demi-wispies) – it has an amazing feminizing effect.  A-line skirts and dresses give you hips. Ruched dresses and tops hide the belly.  Read about wig styles- long ones are not for everybody- a short bob with a fringe works wonders.

    I used to look at myself and see “Shrek in a dress” – so I set out to fix it, and I have succeeded. I gave up trying to “pass” in favour of being “accepted” as female. I look past my flaws and see the woman I am inside. Stop being too self critical.   And smile! when looking in the mirror.

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    • #191695
       Morgan LaFey 
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      Registered On: June 18, 2019
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      Thank you for the encouragement Stephanie! 🙂 I recognize that a lot of my issues stem from general self-confidence issues and a mental health state that is… well, it sucks. I have good days and bad, and this was definitely posted on a bad day. I’ve only recently been seeing a doctor about that in hopes of combatting some of the surface issues like anxiety and depression. Gender identity and expression is a whole other can of worms that I haven’t gotten into.

      Lucky for me I do have a partner who loves and accepts this part of my life, and has only ever encouraged me to embrace it. I’m also thankful to have found this community who has thus far been nothing but amazing, encouraging, and empowering. I hope to someday get to a point where I can just be happy (or at the very least not frustrated) every time I get dressed up.

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  • #191653
     Camryn Occasionnel 
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    Registered On: December 10, 2018
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    In my case, I wouldn’t call it insecurities. It’s just the reality of cold, hard facts — at least that’s how I see it from the dim recesses of my own private closet. It’s why I avoid mirrors as much as possible while dressed; it’s why I’ve never posted a photo yet; it’s why my fantasy of ever getting out to meet other crossdressers may never come true.

    But crossdressing feels good. Really good. And I just can’t allow my buttlessness, my obvious “pooch,” or my age-ravaged little body and a face that defies beautification, to spoil the image that lives in my brain.

    At home, alone, when dressed, I am become…. Camryn.

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  • #191632
     Becky Cox 
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    Registered On: March 28, 2019
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    I think it’s hardwired into our brains. Like the way in which listening to a recording of your own voice makes you cringe, or the seeing a photo of yourself is unsettling. Even in male mode, our self image is different to the way that the rest of the world sees us.

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  • #191590
     rhonda 
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    Registered On: October 13, 2015
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    Hi Morgan Sometimes we should stop and count our blessings and most of us have demons to burn . Your wife loves you and excepts your dressing , I think you’re away ahead of the game of life . Cosmetics , girdles , wigs  clothing what are they for , too give a false image , to deceive the opposite sex or the same sex as the case might be . I keep saying if I could lose 8o lbs (it used to be 100 lbs ) I could get me clothes like I want to wear . and if that mirror keeps telling lies turn it around Rhonda🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

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  • #191581
     Jessica V. 
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    Registered On: October 16, 2018
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    Morgan,

    I feel you! Lately I have a strong desire to dress because of the picture in my head I want to look like but don’t because the image in the mirror is no where near that mental portrait. I’ve been wanting to get a professional makeover and go out on the town. My wife is also very supportive and don’t know where I’d be without her but I just wanted to let you know that you’re NOT alone and your beauty will shine through!

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