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I haven’t posted in awhile; but wanted to relay an experience I just had when I went to get my hair cut. For starters, I’m a male with a lot of femme characteristics. I’m not fully trans; and I wasn’t dressed as a girl. But I have fairly long hair (12-15″), and I keep my nails fairly long, shaped, and manicured the best I can, clean shaven head to toe. So I guess I do present myself as a bit femme to other people.
So occasionally I go in to have my hair trimmed, dead ends and such. But this last time I went, the “stylist” (I use the term loosely), and all she does is take a pair of scissors and takes a half inch straight off the back, and then tells me that’s good. She’s done. I was in the chair less than 2 minutes, that included her putting the cover on me and discussing what I wanted done.
Besides the poor hair cut I received, I did kind of get the feeling that because I’m a bit femme, she wasn’t really interested in cutting my hair. I was wondering if any other people had similar experiences.
Hi Bridget Nice meeting you and not so much with hair cuts as we as wife and i go to her stylist and she is very sweet and friendly.. So she cuts and styles wifes hair then mine after and she i think gets it also with the femme style as i have both ears pierced and same as you nice shaped nails .. Maybe wife has mentioned to her to trim it a cute way as she never asks much just trims it kind of both gender ways he he really a nice job i can kind of pull it femme or drab which ever..
Stephanie Bass
You didn’t say if this was your regular stylist or not. Getting the ends trimmed only takes a few minutes especially if she is very experienced so I don’t think she was being discriminating… a lot of guys, myself included, have long hair now and I don’t think its such a big deal anymore. I’ve never gotten a comment about my hair. Did she say anything negative to you?
Hello Bridgett.
Sorry you had such a bad experience. I hope you complained to management and got some king of resolution.
In this day and time, those workers on services areas must check their prejudices and biases at the door. Or if unable to do so, discuss with their bosses if they are unwilling to assist any specific customer.
Rest assured (if it is any consolation) that it doesn’t happen to you only. I know cis females who have had similar bad experiences with other stylists.
So, like I said, hopefully you complained, as you had the right to do so, and then find a different place to take your business to.
Luckily, my stylist is AWESOME!!! 🙂
Hi Bridget, sorry for your poor hair salon experience. Based on what you wrote, I’m not certain it was discrimination but maybe just a bad attitude and customer service in general that the stylist was giving you. Were there any other behavior(s) or communication you had with her that led you to your conclusions?
*** Kayla ***
I guess I’m about to find out. I haven’t had my hair cut in a long time and it’s halfway down my back. I really want to get the ends trimmed and evened out. I have been stressing out on finding a place that I hope will do a good job. I selected a small salon nearby and will go in drab, fingers crossed.
Thanks for all of the replies. I was short on a few details before so let me fill in some of the missing pieces.
First, it was not my regular hair stylist. I used to have one; but years ago she kind of told me she wasn’t really interested in doing my hair anymore. I guess because I would never get it “styled” only trimmed; and I think that she was really wanting to focus on women’s hair only. So that being said, I’m using whoever I can find convenient. My fault, I know.
As to the meat of the story, so I go in and sit down in the chair, she covers me and asks what I want done. I tell her I just wanted it trimmed up a bit, maybe a 1/2 inch or so needed to come off. She said, maybe and inch. I only go to a hair parlor once or twice a year so even though I take really good care of my hair, I know that there’s damaged ends that need to be taken care of. So she’s feeling around my hair and mentions that I probably get more tangles on the left side. So sure, I say that sounds reasonable. That’s the side closest to the car window so it probably gets more abuse on that side. But I also mentioned that since I wasn’t wearing a hat that day, and my hair wasn’t in a ponytail, that I had used some hair spray to help keep the bangs out of my eyes, and some of that roughness she feels could be from that. BIG MISTAKE right there. Suddenly she turns quiet and just grabs a pair of scissors and without combing my hair or anything, she just trims off about 1/2″ off the back. She grabs a mirror, shows me, and says she’s done. No spraying of any water, no combing or brushing, nothing. Just a quick trim off of the back. Nothing off the sides or front. Doesn’t even look at them. No attempt to even out hairs, feather, layer, or anything.
I’m not an expert in hair style at all; but to me, that was either a very lazy stylist, or she had a problem with cutting my hair. Obviously I need to find someplace new to go; but I really feel like there was more to it. I paid her because I’m that type of person; but I’m not really happy about it. So I’ve decided to go online and look for trans-friendly hair stylist to see if any exist in my area.
I welcome any feedback. Thanks
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Thanks Bridget for the additional details.
So I change my answer to a yes, I do think she was either being discriminating or was just a really bad hair stylist or maybe just having a bad day… idk. Next time go to a different salon.
Hi again Bridget, My wife and I have been talking about your recent so called trim at that Salon. We agree with you, that person wws saying do not come back.
We are good people who just want friendly and polite treatment, not a scowl, or flippant attitude.
We hope you find a hair stylist soon, you deserve it. As I said recently, I am having a face makeup lesson in Hobart soon, it may be interesting to see I am treated.
Anyway, enjoy Easter. Jane.
Hi Bridgette,
You might try your local high school. Often the school offers a training program for stylists and beauticians and teaches the students what is needed to pass the states exam for a license. The students learn by practicing on their guests. Often they will color hair, offer manicures, etc. After scheduling an appointment explain what you’d like done and likely the beauty student will ask questions about your hair style. Then you can discuss the details and agree on what will be done.
The pricing is most reasonable compared to a salon and tips are appreciated if you are happy with the effort.
Alice
HELLO Bridgett, my experience with Salons is limited, but a few days ago I did go to beauty salon to arrange a makeup lesson. SHE SEEMED OK WITH IT, business like.
I will have to wait for my lesson to reply more fully, but in Hobart Tadmania, most shop owners are accepting of cross dressers. incidentally, Tasmania wad first to introduce anti discrimination laws to help us.
Later this year I am flying to Sydney from Hobart enfemme, going ti a ball, with about 300 cross dressers, transtioners, and my male identification.
See what happens then
Best Wishes
JaneWow!
Am I ever lucky!Started at new salon for haircuts maybe 5 years ago.
That led to brow wax
Led to sport manicure, clear polish.
After I shared with two girlfriends my wife and I went for
pedicures with them a couple of times.
Then I started getting regular pedicures and manicures. Told my spa lady, kind of obvious when your legs are shaved. Started with polish with more color. Toes always in socks so they can be darker. Often don’t wear socks when those 2 girlfriends come over.
Told my stylist early on. She’s gay. We talk about what it’s like to be out. Other than earrings,underdressing and lipstick, I’m not out.So she’s been through more. We’re working on getting my hair femme. At least ambiguously.
It’s a big salon, so there are other women who know what’s up.
It’s great to talk face to face with a woman while I’m wearing lipstick and earrings, (clip ons until after knee replacement recovery)Told stylist this is my Xanadu. I’m totally comfortable here.
Waiting area is a little scary, but that goes away more and more each time.As I said, I’m only in blended clothes. So I’m sure my experiences aren’t comparable to those of you who go in full femme. And it helps they’ve known me since before I let anybody know how much I like the silky,slinky, and the smooth.
Hi Bridget, Sorry that this happened to you . I’m like Emily, if I don’t feel good about an exchange, you will never see me again. I’ve had some wonderful people help me with my hair and from time to time they have left the business and I needed to find another person to help me. Soooo, I usually just google trans friendly or LGBTI Community Beauty Salons and get some names. Then I check the reviews and also ask a few friends in my local community. That usually gives me about two salons that seem to be what I want. I’ve had my current stylist for 11 years now and hopefully I will be able to use her services for many more years. I hope that you find what you need. Marg
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