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So, I’m teaching a diversity class at the Uni where I work and I’m planning to do some lectures en femme. This got me thinking about the kinds of things students might ask, as well as all the different “ways” people have of experimenting with gender norms and boundaries. As a social science teacher, I have a tendency to classify and define more than most. I’ve been thinking about how I perceive and label the different ways of gender bending, but thought it would be interesting to get some feedback and explore how others think about and experience this.
So, I’ll start here by sharing a few different terms that have floated around over the years, and welcome any other terms or ways of thinking about and experiencing what we all share here.
Transvestite – an older term that applies to someone who always (or nearly always dresses in opposite gender clothing), we tend to refer to these ladies as “full time” on CDH
Transsexual – a person who has had medical treatment to change their body to more closely resemble the opposite gender (surgery, HRT, etc)
Drag queen – a person who dresses up in an exaggerated female manner for performance and entertainment purposes
Female impersonator – a male who dresses up to try and look like a specific (usually famous) woman for performance purposes (like someone dressing up like Brittany Spears and doing covers of her songs and acts in concert, for example).
Crossdresser – someone who wears clothing associated with the opposite sex, with varying degrees of frequency, but usually temporarily, often as a hobby
Non-binary – a person who does not feel like they fit perfectly, 100% into the standard cultural male/female dichotomy of their culture, they may present as one gender or the other, or switch between, or mix and match different elements of style, presentation, interests, hobbies, mannerisms, etc.
Gender-* (I usually try and be a proper girl and shy away from four letter words, but this is an actual, culturally established term, I first read it in a textbook) – mixing elements of gender presentation, like wearing a dress and a beard, for example
Trans-gender – a newer term that is sometimes used as an umbrella concept to cover anyone who violates rigid gender norms and has been used to refer to all the different ways of being presented above, more specifically and correctly, a person whose gender identity does not match the cultural meanings attached to their physical body, this is the “man trapped in a woman’s body” (or the opposite) feeling.
I know many of us don’t like labels, but words are important in how we start thinking about more abstract concepts like feelings, experiences, and desires. I don’t present these terms to stuff anyone into a box, but so that we can explore the different ways we experience and interact with gender. Any other ideas or concepts you might add to this list? Any refinements to the definitions or the kinds of experiences we have with each of these different kinds of gender experiences?
For my part, I think of myself as a crossdresser. I like dressing up occasionally and trying to look as feminine as I can. My second choice would be culturally non-binary. I think male and female are real biological categories, but I think assigning things like colors, hobbies, interests, or clothing to rigid masculine and feminine categories is silly.
Sarah, Thank you for sharing your research on “terminology”Food for thought: I was always of the opinion, transvestite was replaced by crossdressing i.e. crossdresser heaven
Anther term a person is gender-fluid when they don’t identify solely as male or female, and their gender identity changes over time. Thus, the term refers to a change in a person’s gender expression (the way they look or behave), identity or both.
I too embrace your definition of crossdresser and like dressing up and try (and try) the best I can be and look as feminine as possible
Thank you again Sarah for a very timely article
Warmest regards, LeonaraOh yeah, gender-fluid is an important one to include.
How do you think it’s similar or different from “non-binary?”
To me, gender fluid and non-binary have some overlap but they are very different terms in that gender fluid implies polarity, whereas non-binary includes apolarity.
It would be interesting to know where the debate goes and see how the younger generation view this subject. I would wonder if the start is to state the biological facts, present what you have written and see what comes. It could lead to a very lively debate.
In my day there were Transvestites, Drag artists, female impersonators and transsexuals. Life was so simple then..
Hi This comes from medical studies that my wife an RN gets.
Transvestite – was a very early term for someone dressing and living as the opposite gender life style! It was changed to Transsexual in the 70’s by the medical field when hormones and surgery started to take off and is now outdated also. Transsexual was outdated and was changed to TransGender. Transgender is now outdated and is now called Gender Dysphoria in the medical field!Female Impersonators and Drag Queens are basically the same. It goes back to Shakespearean times when women weren’t allowed on stage in theaters. Men had to play the role as a female and dressed up as them. They were so revered that Drag Queen shows started to entertain us. They still do now. They do it for money and to entertain us, but at the end of the day they are back in male mode.
Crossdresser- In the 50’s crossdressing was a mental problem! In the 70’s crossdressing was removed from mental and listed as a fetish! Then in the early 2000’s crossdressing was removed from the Medical Society. It is no longer listed as anything because a lot of people do it. It is now just a word!
Non Binary- denoting, having, or relating to a gender identity that does not conform to traditional binary beliefs about gender, which indicate that all individuals are exclusively either male or female.
Gender-fluid when they don’t identify solely as male or female, and their gender identity changes over time. Thus, the term refers to a change in a person’s gender expression (the way they look or behave), identity or both!
Gender Neutral is not referred to either sex, but to people in general. A lot of parents are calling their children Gender Neutral.
Hope this helps with your teaching!
BrendaI think terminolgy is important. We have street names for a reason. (As well as personal names.)
I’m a crossdresser. Which mostly denotes a straight heterosexual dressing as the opposite gender.
It frustrates me no end, the number of utube videos / channels atm, that use crossdressing in a transgender framework. The key words and themes within their stories are extremely monotonous and predictable. Its like they are actively trying to change terminology to fit into their own ideology and activism. Anyways off that box now.
I find it extremely helpful when reading through someone’s bio the terms they describe themselves with. Its true that overtime some will change the way they describe themselves. Such as when one of our members discovered they were intersex.
Interesting descriptions in the OP. I wasnt aware that transvestite was someone who basically lived full time wearing another genders clothing.
Well ladies,
Try fitting me into a categorical box. I knew from the age of 3 that I was supposed to be a girl, I had no way of knowing a name for that, just knew I was different than the other AMAB’s. At the age of 10, while reading comic books at the local drug store, I saw a magazine article about Christine Jorgenson, a transsexual. I was smitten to my core! Was this truly possible? That hunger never left my mind. I Eventually discovered the term transvestite and figured that’s what I was and that was how I identified for years before learning a new term to describe who I may be, a crossdresser.
I always considered feminine clothing to be proper attire for how I identified, I never got a thrill from dressing in feminine clothes, for me crossdressing was wearing male clothes.
I dressed often, mastered putting on makeup, going places fully enfemme and even teaching myself how to speak in a feminine voice.
Then the term transgender came into use, and that aligned much more with how I felt and identified, as it was often said a person was born that way, which I now know was true for me. I then read about transitioning and living as a member of the opposite sex. While recovering from open heart surgery I knew that was my future and started mentally preparing for that major life change. I have now transitioned and have been living and working as a woman for almost two years.
Then…then I came down with something requiring a visit to the ER at the local hospital. I was tested, gave ample urine and blood samples, answered many questions I’d never been asked, and finally met with a lady doctor who literally turned my life upside down! After asking me questions and telling me things about my medical history that were contained in medical records I had never read or heard about, she told me I had come in with a condition common to women and identified as a trans woman. She said, “Lauren you have a UTI, a Urinary Tract Infection, common among women. I have read about your anatomy, hormone levels and have tested for chromosomes which all indicate you are an intersex person.” She reached over and touched my knee saying, “Lauren, you are a woman!” Talk about life changing! Now everything about the years of my life finally made sense and I could see it clearly!So add Intersex to the list of terminology, and try living with that and explaining it to everyone!!
Big hugs ladies,
Ms. Lauren M
By denotation, transvestite and crossdresser mean the same thing, only one is from Latin roots and the other from Germanic roots. Trans means cross, vest (vestments) means how you dress, ite is like a member of a group which er means as well.
But somehow transvestite came to mean doing it for self pleasure, and has a negative connotation. The shortened from is very derogatory.
Growing up, I used to occasionally see “female impersonators” on TV. Today they are called drag queens.
Gender is how you feel inside about yourself, not how you present yourself. Some of us here will tell you they feel like a female inside even if they present (dress) as a man.
I’ve heard some people describe themselves as dual-gender, which can fall under the non-binary umbrella. Other terms I’ve heard are gender fluid, gender queer, and agender.
Some of the problems with these terms is that different people define them differently. This is only partly due to these terms evolving. This can lead to confusion.
I recently read an interesting article on them.us titled “What does it mean to be nonbinary?” It probably raised more questions than it answered, but is a good starting place.
I think there are many here who might be considered by more than one term. Since society considers all of us for the most part as the “unwashed”, we band together to support one another. I prefer only one box for us all to fit in, “the enlightened”. Hope you are able to change a few minds in your class. Look forward to hearing how it goes.
Well, the problem is that everyone considers their own opinions to be the “enlightened ones.” I mean, I’ve never met anyone who said, “This is my point of view, and even though it’s idiotic I’m going to stick with it.” People act like this of course, but no one ever consciously acknowledges that is how they’re thinking.
This is really the point of the diversity class I’m teaching (at least how I’m going to teach it). If two people both hold wildly different, but equally “enlightened” understandings, how can they still come together and get along as equal members of a civil society?
To be truly open minded, requires us to acknowledge that others hold their beliefs as dearly as we hold ours, and to allow them the space to do that with love and respect. Sitting around thinking about how everyone needs to agree with us, even if we’re nice about it, isn’t helpful.
I’ve noticed a pattern in interactions between people with differences.
1. The first reaction is to think, “oh, they just don’t have all the facts I have,” and we proceed trying to convince them by sharing our knowledge.
2. At some point we realize they have the same facts as us, but still disagree and so we tend to shift our thinking to, “Oh, well, this person just isn’t as smart (or enlightened) as I am.”
3. As we get to know the person better we realize they’re just as smart as we are and so our thinking shifts to, “oh, this person must be immoral or malicious.”I think this pattern of thinking is at the heart of so many interactions in our society today. We all seem to be collectively saying, “If you don’t agree with me, you must be ignorant, stupid, or evil.”
The truth is that two equally intelligent, equally knowledgeable, and equally moral people can come to different conclusions. Learning to get along with that reality is part of what I hope to teach my students this semester (and every semester, really.)
When discussing anything, it helps if everyone is using the same terms. I don’t like labels, but I there are some occasions where we need to clarify ideas into words before sharing.
I think your choice to dress femine for this series of lectures will be a good way to start the conversation without prejudice.
I don’t like labels either, but I think they are an inevitable starting place for exploring human experiences. I think as long as you’re consciously considering the nature of labels themselves, then there’s nothing wrong with them. There’s also, of course, the issue of who’s doing the labeling. Words are power.
Thank you for your service to us all as a teacher of diversity classes. It’s wonderful that you will be teaching classes en femme. I’m sure that this will leave a significant, lasting impression on your students.
I see the definition of transgender as being broader that just individuals who have had medical treatments to change their body. The core of being Transgender is someone who has the heart, soul and psyche of the gender opposite that of their birth. This lack of alignment frequently causes gender dysphoria, but this is not true of all transgender people. Transgender people adopt the practices and relation to society of the gender opposite of that of their birth (or assigned at birth) to align their inner being with their outward presentation on a full-time basis. It doesn’t necessarily include medical treatments, but the majority take that route.
I consider myself to be transgender and am working toward full time living as a woman. Will I have medical procedures? This remains to be seen since I have a relatively complicated health history. Would I like to? Definitely yes! At a minimum, I’d love to experience the changes HRT can provide. Still, if I don’t i’ll still view myself as a transwoman and do everything I can to be my most authentic self.
I felt the need to repost as my initial reaction was not thought out. I always knee jerk when I hear the words classify or term to describe humans. We are so mentally complex. Lauren’s comments put me back on track. First I should also THANK YOU SO MUCH for being out front, and attempting to teach and reach others. My wife, and 4 of my children are or were educators, a most critical profession. Have you thought of dressing both ways for class? I think that after being Sarah for awhile and the class at ease with the subject matter, by being your male self might show them we are the same basic person. Have you considered introducing a transsexual guest to the class? Once again , I hope you will share this class experience with us as it unfolds. My very best wishes, Lorraine
Hey Lorraine, I’ve always only ever dressed in drab to teach. I come into the office en femme, so my colleagues have seen me dressed up, but I’ve never had a classroom situation where it seemed like it would benefit the students. This upcoming class, however, seems like a good time. I live in a very conservative area, so I often think hard about how anything I do will either teach, or shut down, my students. My plan for this semester, is to dress en femme once a week or so. This course has a Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule, so 1 in 3 will see me in a dress or something.
I like to keep things simple. I am a straight guy who occasionally enjoys wearing ladies clothes. I am a crossdresser, no more, no less. I have no problem being labeled as a crossdresser. After all that is what I am.
I tell my wonderful wife that I am “OCD,” an Occasional Cross Dresser.
Have fun all…. Staci…
Unless the discussion is about how terminology evolves, I would leave transvestite and transsexual out of the conversation.
Transvestite has pretty much completely fallen out of use in the US. Oddly enough, it is still a viable term in the UK.
People moved away from transsexual in order to get away from the thought process that sex and gender as terms are essentially interchangeable and that there was a sexual component to what people did. I would use transition.
Note that there are also Drag Kings
I haven’t seen the term Female Impersonator in AGES.
Transgender has no hyphen. I would also steer away from using the word “violate” in your description. Laws are violated. People’s personal space and/or security may be violated, but I don’t think that can be applied to a social construct such as gender.
Finally, you have largely spoken from a Male > Female perspective, but I think it would be good to remind folks that Female > Male people are also under the umbrella.
For full disclosure, I identify as transgender, non-binary and my gender expression is female.
Good point on the word “violate,” but where I live, that’s exactly how many people see it. Many of them quite literally view gender as a commandment from God. That’s a gross oversimplification, but I think the word violate works in this context.
Hey Sarah
Apologies in advance for the sheer length of this reply! I’d advise people to avoid it unless they have a spare hour.
First of all I think that it’s awesome that you’re teaching these sessions. I think it’s DOUBLY awesome that you’ll be doing some of them en femme. That already makes you an absolute legend in my eyes. You’re my spirit animal.
I’m a teacher too, so I appreciate the work that goes into preparing materials. Thank you for the opportunity to comment and give feedback!
And I’m very much in agreement with this statement of yours:
I know many of us don’t like labels, but words are important in how we start thinking about more abstract concepts like feelings, experiences, and desires. I don’t present these terms to stuff anyone into a box, but so that we can explore the different ways we experience and interact with gender.
In order to get the ball rolling, the students have to start SOMEWHERE, and presenting them with a list of definitions is as good a place as any. After all, they can then question and debate these so they can get a fuller understanding of what they mean.
I also recognise that a key intention here is to be able to get ideas about diversity across without having a VERY long list that would ultimately become confusing to the students because of the sheer number of words on it! Hence, no transfeminine, transmasculine, gender fluid, demigirl, genderqueer, two-spirit and so on.
Still, you’ve asked for feedback, so here I go!
1) I’m in the UK. By current definitions I would perhaps say that a transvestite is someone who wears clothes of the opposite gender for sexual gratification RATHER than someone who nearly always dresses in clothes of the opposite gender. They like to stand out, and there may be a fetishistic element. With crossdressers, although there may be a sexual thrill (especially at first) the desire to wear women’s clothes is more of a basic need than a lifestyle choice. In public, if the crossdressing extends to that, there may be a desire to blend in rather than stand out. However, I’ve also seen many people state the exact opposite, so what do I know? Some people argue that the words are interchangeable as they mean the same thing; others that ‘crossdresser’ has largely replaced ‘transvestite’. The meanings of words are fluid, just like gender – but, of course, you need to give definitions to your students as a springboard for discussion so fair enough!
2). Most of us this site would dispute the statement that crossdressing is ‘usually temporary’, and get violently agitated at the thought that they’re doing it ‘as a hobby’!
3). As you state in your opening post, there’s always a danger with having a strict set of definitions. It tends to pigeonhole people, categorising behaviours by applying a rigid set of guidelines. I know that you’re in no way intending that, and you state as much. Because of course real life isn’t like that. I’ve struggled over the years to categorise myself. Do I crossdress? Yes, all the time except at work, and even then I’m fully underdressed. I’m dressed while typing this. Shortly, I’ll go to bed in a satin nightdress. Would I consider it a hobby? Absolutely not. Then why do I dress? Well, I would say I’m transgender. Hold on though … if my core self is female, am I even crossdressing? And if I feel like a woman, could I go further and call myself transfeminine? Possibly so, if I wanted to label myself, but other people might define ‘transfeminine’ differently. At one stage, looking at lists of words, I might have considered that I was a demigirl! But wait a minute, dressing full time, more or less, surely makes me a transvestite according to your definitions? Well, I’ve never called myself that, and here in the UK the term ‘transvestite’ or, worse, ‘tranny’ might even be said to have a negative connotation these days. Problems, problems, problems!
Basically … good luck Sarah. You’re very brave to walk through such a minefield!
As Shakespeare said:
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”It doesn’t actually matter what label we apply to ourselves, as long as we can be free to express who we are in the way that we want/have to.
Finally, an anecdote. At the school where I teach we have a very active LGBQT+ group. A few years ago they put up a poster in the school corridor. It listed around 25 words – bisexual, genderfluid, transfeminine etc etc – together with a short definition and the recognised symbol. One of the sixth formers had a younger sister who at the time was in Year 7, so 12 years old. The two of them were going home on the bus one afternoon. The younger sister was uncharacteristically quiet, just sitting there chewing her nails and staring out of the window rather than nattering away as she normally did. Older sister eventually asked her what was the matter. She said ‘You know that poster that’s gone up in the corridor, the one about gender and all that stuff, with all those categories?’. Big sister nodded. ‘Well *looking confused* … do I HAVE to be one of those?’
Hugs
Ellie x
Great thoughts and nuances. I only meant temporary in the sense of not being full time, and hobby in the sense of not feeling like you’re transgender. So, while this has always been a part of my life in one way or another, I don’t feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body, and I usually only dress up once a week.
Not every trans person feels that they are in the wrong body. For me, I realized that I was neither completely male nor female in my thoughts, perceptions, likes and dislikes, etc. In my head, I am an amalgam of genders. The physicality of my body had little to do with it. In other words, my body is OK as it is. I have no interest in HRT or affirmation surgeries with the possible exception of breast augmentation. I present as DeeAnn ~95% of the time and she is the person of record for all my civic, social and non-profit involvements. Very few have ever met Don.
The last part of my social transition would be changing the gender marker and name on my personal documentation, but I have little interest in doing that. I’ve lived in 4 states, have pensions from 2 companies, have had accounts with 4 banks, several credit cards, have had 5 mortgages, changing federal government documentation, college records and my engineering license. To me, everything must work together or something will not match and get ignored. At this point in my life I am not willing to invest the effort as it would take time away from my volunteer, political and charitable work.
Sarah, it’s great that you are taking on that challenge.
Transfeminine is a new one for me, interesting term.
I agree fully on Ellie’s comment on the term “hobby” as Sarah originally used it. To me, calling something a hobby denotes a choice and a pastime. The compulsion to dress is too strong to be a simple choice (here we come back to the question of whether crossdressing is an addiction), and I think it is more a “way of life” than a pastime.
Good luck with your classes. It would be interesting to hear how they go and how the kids respond, both regarding the subject matter and to your being en femme.
I refer to crossdressing as my hobby. I appreciate it’s not a hobby, but it’s a pert of my life that I spend a serious amount of money on, and something I invest a serious amount of time in…. Just like a hobby 🙂
I am a crossdresser, but Like many, I go a bit “tranny”. I do wear clothes that are too short, tight, revealing, shiny, OTT…. Bt this is at home (Or maybe a party). Mostly, I dress fairly sensibly.
Sometimes I dress for only a few hours, but I have been dressed for 5 weeks or so! I’ll often go 4 or 5 days as Cerys… I’m currently on an 8 day streak!.Cerys.
Ellie: I didn’t know that there was a term to describe a crossdresser dressing for some sort of sexual gratification. The dictionary definition doesn’t apply that to transvestite, either. I certainly wouldn’t apply transvestite to that, but maybe I missed the memo.
From comments on CDH, sexual gratification through crossdressing seems to be coincidental.
I suggest not defining any of the terms, but letting the students discuss and define them in class. They may have their own set of terms you (or we) haven’t thought of, or are not important to them.
I had a fantastic class in human sexuality back in my uni days (late 70s) that was groundbreaking at the time. The first class set the tone. The instructor simply said to us all that this is your class, not his. He then asked us to write on the blackboard (I am dating myself) any term on the board that deals with sexuality that we could think of…nothing is off-limits. Most just sat there, but I was one of the first, if not the first to write something. A few more got brave and added a few more, and soon everybody was walking up to the board and adding to the rapidly growing, and soon very long list. We then spent the rest of the class discussing some of them.
You can do the same with gender terms, or however you want to define the class. Once the students relax and open up by writing these things down, you can then lead a discussion about the ones important to them, and to a much lesser extent you.
We went from an awkward group of students afraid to talk about human sexuality to a bunch of young adults with our own opinions, experiences, and baggage that took part in the whole process. It was one of the best classes in my entire like, and I have a professional degree, so I have spent a look of time in classrooms.
Feel free to PM me if you want more information.
Hello Sarah,
There is a professor at Cal State Long Beach I can put you in touch with who has specialized in this topic for some 20 years. I will have to get her info from friends the private message you when I have it. In the mean time I think you can find some background here from Dr. Virginia Prince https://zagria.blogspot.com/2013/03/#.Wrw9IExFzL8
Best,
Micki
I would stick to dictionary definitions where ever possible and where that is not possible I would use definitions from creditable sources and cite them. It is all too easy to skew these things when viewed through one’s own lens
That’s a really good point. Part of my thinking behind this post and conversation, however, is that words take on new connotations that can be different from dictionary meanings. This is one of the interesting things about both language and society. One of my favorite movie quotes comes from the Princess Bride, “You keep saying that, I don’t think it means what you think it means.” There’s an interesting dynamic between the official, dictionary meaning of words, and the way we actually use them, or more to the point, the way we feel about them.
It never hurts to take an “extra minute or two” to educate oneself to make sure you are respectful and not offensive…I find I refer back to this site often, if and when I need some detailed info or clarifications, and find it very helpful: https://gaycenter.org/community/lgbtq/
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