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Hi all –
I am scheduled to travel to Austin next week and would like to go out as Samantha.
My hotel is in the downtown area and I plan to walk around, grab a bite to eat and see what happens.I plan to wear a blouse and jeans with a necklace and a little make up. No wig.
Is there anyone who can give me advice on the pitfalls I might encounter on my first time out?
I am nervous just thinking about it.I concur👍 You need or want to wear your wig and casual but more than’ a little ‘ makeup. You’re asking for a big pitfall with some r not so liberal people see you identify as a wig less male but dressed and walking around like a female Wig -It girl 👧
I would wear a wig and a good amount of makeup. I’ve been doing some research on makeup and it seems like some foundation and concealer would help cover up any shadow beard on your face (haven’t tried it as yet, so can’t give you first hand information).
Make sure you’re comfortable with what you’re wearing, what you look like and who you are. People can sense discomfort and they can tell if you’re feeling nervous. Feel and act like you belong. Smile – to yourself and to people with whom you’ll interact.
Most importantly, enjoy yourself! It’s going to be a thrill and I look forward to hearing about your adventure.
Hi Samantha!
I went out for the first time a little over two years ago. Someone on this forum told me to be careful because it is addictive…turns out she was right!
You have made a great choice by going to a cd friendly environment. I would walk the route first in guy mode to make sure you can walk the route in the shoes you choose and just to get some sense of comfort and your bearings. Maybe check out restaurants in advance, i.e. which ones seem rowdier/younger, so maybe you can plan to walk on the other side of the street in these cases.
The first time i went out was with the GG who had done my hair and makeup at the salon; she is super confident and was my guide. That was a huge help. But i remember walking into the restaurant for the first time with her and I was really nervous because it was crowded. I dont think i could have done that by myself. Now when I go to a restaurant by myself i make sure i can get a table right away and not have to wait by the bar.
Other than that, I recommend wearing the wig!!
Val
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Samantha as someone who has gone out dressed all over North America here are my tips. If you don’t have a purse, GET ONE (don’t get a cheapo pos)! Make sure you have ID, some cash, credit card and some touch up makeup. Definitely wear the wig and war paint. Go full girl mode. As for being in the “South”… your not, it’s Austin. Even in Dallas or any other southern city it is more about not going in the “wrong” neighborhood whether your in a dress or full battle rattle. Just own it, keep your head up and have a great time! And lastly, prepare yourself for the reality nobody cares, there all busy with their own life.
🍷CI agree with going full girl mode, rather than part way. Early in my public outing experience, I tried to go androgynous and or 50/50. Maybe it is just me, but I felt then and still feel that I blend in much more completely in full girl mode. And honestly, I find it far more enjoyable to public experiences entirely as a woman.
I would have a glass of wine, maybe two, but no more in your room before heading out. It is just enough to relax you and while it won’t remove the nervousness, it does help to settle them. While you are out you can stop for a glass of wine to relax, but keep any drinking to a minimum, and don’t hang around in bars.
The secret is to own your look. Be confident and the world will she a confident woman/person. Some may read you, but so what, they don’t know, and 99.9% don’t care. I am only semi passable and I don’t really care, I am just out to enjoy myself just like everybody else.
Hi Samantha:
I’m coming to this party late, but I wanted to tell you to not feel too bad about this. You have to do what’s right for you, and stepping out is a big deal. I do hope that you got a feel for Austin, as I’ve heard it’s pretty progressive there, and are more comfortable with stepping out there next time. Also, don’t worry about the beard thing. I’m in New York and there are plenty of ladies with beards here. You’re not alone in that regard. Good luck to you next time and realize there is support for you in here and out there.
Maybe, but don’t worry about it or feel bad about backing out. We have all been there at various points and it is part of the natural progression of things. Just thinking about and planning such an outing is a big step forward. Maybe take a few smaller steps first, just do what works for you. The world will not stop if you step out dressed to which ever degree you choose.
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That’s okay. The big thing is to be YOU and be happy! If that means not going out, fine. Don’t ever feel pressured to go beyond your comfort zone. Take care and enjoy yourself!
🍷C
Perfectly fine. When the time and feeling is right, you will have a wonderful experience.
The ladies are correct. Full girl mode. And if that pic is really you, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Honestly, the worse thing you can expect is being nervous. I only started going out at night walking the dog on Christmas Eve. Talk about panic. I went out tonight for the sixth time and it was nothing. I look forward to it now.
And if you really want an accessory that will make you feel safe, get a big dog!
the first time i went out was when i went to a Buffalo bells meeting where us girls can meet and chat. i was nervous that someone would notice me dressed up, but i went to the meeting place all dressed up, wig makeup, heels, nylons and a nice dress. once there i was walking to the building and walked in and i was greeted very friendly i had a great time out. that was my first time. the second time was when i had my niece do my make up for me for Halloween, i had a good time also, from there i have not been out dressed up but only under dressed, in which i under dress every day. i get up from bed and put on my panties, bra, nylons and a nice dress, then my boring male cloths and do what i have to do doing the day
The hardest but best thing is confidence. If you exude confidence while dressed I have found to never be challenged. If you walk around in circles and change direction every time people get near you draw attention. I will admit it took a ton of outing to be confident while dressed. Even now it takes me a few minutes being out. I find myself running to the first mirror I see to make sure my wig is on straight, my makeup is still okay, my panties are not showing…..
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Let me say this regarding chickening out. I have been there early in my being completely out and after all I have seen over the years I realized that nobody cares, you may get a stare or two if you are not passable or not completely made up but I feel like for years I worried for no reason.
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One other comment, when I see people out and I notice that they are trans or a crossdresser do you know what the biggest giveaway is? How they walk and sit. They walk like a man still instead of placing one foot in front of the other with your posture up and shoulders back. And when they sit they sit down with their legs apart, learn to sit by placing your feet close together, knees together, and ease into your seat. Just my 2 cents, the girls that do that do well in not being easily noticed as being not female.
I know you did not go out this time, but there will be other chances, so don’t worry. I would suggest going out a few times some place that you feel comfortable rather then trying to in a new town with a lot more variables. Maybe just walk in a near by park, or a shopping mall a few towns away from home. Even just a drive and never getting out of the car can be a big first step. There are many options, so find something within your comfort zone for the first few outings. You will rapidly gain confidence, which is key, and soon be strolling the streets of town such as Austin without a second thought.
I am sitting at the westroads mall in Omaha just finished some shopping. I am sitting watching the people walk by and saying hello to those that make eye contact. It makes me feel more confident and I hope someone will and stop and chat. I do not know any other cd’s in this area so who knows who I will meet?
We’ll Kathryn, keep your head up, shoulders back, practice your walk in big girl shoes…. and ‘Keep Your Seams Straight darlin’😍
Well Meghan, I keep trying my best. I am always happy when I can dress and go out as Karynn. I am going to new places and getting more comfortable each time.
Okay Karynn, now the big test – go to a major department store like Macy’s target, Penney’s, dressed casually , toned down makeup and have a female clerk cash you up for 3 bras. 4 pair of panties- then throw her for a retro loop question and ask why they don’t carry anymore gartered nylon stockings. Dying to hear your answer
Melissa
I am sporting a goatee these days at the request of my SO.
I didn’t think that would be a good look
I feel like this is right up my alley. My femme presentation is usually skinny Jean’s, a nice top or feminine t-shirt and flats. Not sure if heat will be an issue but I am also usually wearing pantyhose because I always told myself that I will never bare legged. But I also have very short hair and a goatee that I keep pretty short nowadays. Just be confident, you belong as much as the next person, and enjoy it.
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