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  • #673634
    Jessica Charms
    Participant
    Registered On: May 6, 2021
    Topics: 28
    Replies: 145
    Has thanked: 316 times
    Been thanked: 705 times

    Hey everyone, so as the title says I have to let some things go. Sadly one of those things is Jessica. Things really went down hill after I lost my job and haven’t really recovered.

    I found out this last Monday that my uncle the one that is in charge of the home I am living in was placed on hospice care. I have known a few others that were placed on hospice care, and they didn’t survive past a few days.

    He never signed the house over to me. He dragged his feet, convinced that it cost X amount of money/month to keep the place going. Both my mom and I proved it doesn’t and we’re quite happy with the life we had. Now though, that life is being ripped apart.

    Since he never signed the house over to us, once he does, we are screwed as the other family members will want the property to sell. This means that both my mom and I are now facing being homeless.

    Granted my uncle did change his tune about wanting money for the place, he was willing to sign it over, I just had to be sure it was legal. Sadly law isn’t my strong suit, and I couldn’t find an answer. Now it’s sadly too late, being on hospice care, he can’t sign anything and it might not be considered legal.

    So I’ve had to come to the painful decision to let Jessica go. I can’t take my forms with me, nor can I really crossdress while living in our car (it’s the only place we have left). As I was looking for someone to take my forms off my hands, I realized how painful this is. Granted it’s not just my forms, my movies, and other items as well have to go as we can’t fit everything into our car.

    It feels like I’m holding a funeral for my female self, I don’t want to say goodbye, but I have no choice. It hurts so much to say goodbye, I don’t like the fact I have to let her go, but I do.

Viewing 12 reply threads
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    • #679432
      Jessica Charms
      Lady
      Registered On: May 6, 2021
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 145
      Has thanked: 316 times
      Been thanked: 705 times

      Update:
      This will probably be the final update for this barring some miracle. So while my one aunt is in charge of handling the estate, my one uncle called my mom today giving her a hard time about this entire thing.

      So while things were looking up, sadly the prospect is gone and with that so will be Jessica. This really sucks since things really spiralled out of control after I lost my job, but now it’s even worse since I’m not going to have a home anymore.

      I just wanna cry.

    • #677210
      Jessica Charms
      Lady
      Registered On: May 6, 2021
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 145
      Has thanked: 316 times
      Been thanked: 705 times

      Update:
      So my uncle passed away this afternoon. My aunt sent me an email, but thanks to Google’s delay, I didn’t see it until around 2pm.
      I got in touch with a law office, turns out the estate can sign property over, and its easier than I thought.

      So good news is that I’ll have a home.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #677218
        ChloeC
        Duchess
        Registered On: November 5, 2019
        Topics: 14
        Replies: 630
        Has thanked: 2361 times
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        Hi Jessica, my condolences to you and your family for your loss.  I would hope that this continues to lead to a more secure future for you and you mother.

        Hugs, ChloëC

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #675540
      Jessica Charms
      Lady
      Registered On: May 6, 2021
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 145
      Has thanked: 316 times
      Been thanked: 705 times

      Update:
      So my one aunt is now the executive of the estate. So for the time being my mom and I are ok from being thrown out. She was talking with other family members and the ones she reached(out of the four) two don’t want anything, and are fine with my mom and I remaining. The only one that might cause an issue, no one can get in touch with.

      Now weither or not we can stay indefinitely is up in the air. It depends on how she wants to go through this. So while we are safe for now, we aren’t completely out of the woods.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #674510
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 442
      Has thanked: 223 times
      Been thanked: 1774 times

      Best of luck, Jessica!

      There are free legal services, some on-line. Mostly answers are not specific to your needs, but they’ll get you used to legal terms being thrown about, reducing confusion and stress.

      You first need to determine who owns the property, and get a copy of the tax bill (on-line). If owner is in Hospice and receiving pain meds, he can’t sign any legal papers. Hopefully, an Executor has been named to manage affairs. Who is taking care of Hospice and afterwards? Try to avoid Probate, everybody loses.

      Seems like family may want to sell the property and split the proceeds? If you and Mom can cover taxes, insurance, and utilities until you have a steady income, that should keep family at bay.

      Hugs, Eileen

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #674532
        Jessica Charms
        Lady
        Registered On: May 6, 2021
        Topics: 28
        Replies: 145
        Has thanked: 316 times
        Been thanked: 705 times

        Well tax wise, it’s still in my grandfather’s name. I’ve been paying the taxes, utilities, etc. From what my aunt has said, she is trying to get another to be named executive, not sure how it’s going. They are not putting him on pain meds until they know he will be going on (dying) or so I was told. He is still able to make decisions, he’s just not receiving treatments any longer and entered hospice as the treatments were not doing anything but making him feel worse.

        It’s all I know sadly. With the holiday, I don’t know what will happen, or when.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #674673
          Eileen Bach
          Baroness
          Registered On: February 27, 2021
          Topics: 2
          Replies: 442
          Has thanked: 223 times
          Been thanked: 1774 times

          Normally, the State doesn’t care who pays the taxes, as long as they get paid. Finding out what the costs are avoids surprises later. If you pay taxes directly, it’s very difficult to be evicted for non-payment as your name would be on the payment.

          Before he’s on pain meds like morphine, get an Executor named. Doesn’t have to be a family member either, as long as most of the rest of the family is agreeable. The Executor can delegate certain decisions to others with more expertise. Legal forms can be found on-line, just be sure they are specific to your State. Unless the rest of family is going to start a fuss, Attorney fees can be kept to a minimum. You should get these forms and signature ASAP, like today. Hospice is open on Holidays.

          I’m not a practicing Attorney, I do have plenty of experience assisting with situations much like yours. I’d offer more personal condolences, but we live too far apart. Besides, between my boobs and your gigantic forms, we’d never get our arms around each other!

          Starting Tuesday, renew your job search. Hooter’s in my area starts at $19.00.

          Hugs, Eileen

          2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #674702
            Jessica Charms
            Lady
            Registered On: May 6, 2021
            Topics: 28
            Replies: 145
            Has thanked: 316 times
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            That’s our plan in a way, my aunt and other uncle want to transfer his power as executive of the estate to another, my aunt was talking with an attorney she knows and I’m still waiting to hear back from the one I called/emailed. They kept asking about papers thinking I had them already, but all I had was two deeds my uncle and I were looking into.

            The one thing I was told was to double check with an attorney since this is something we need to get right the first time, I could print out the forms, but I need to make sure they are the right ones and or how they need to be filled out. Both of which I don’t have a clue on.

            Job wise, I’m still filling out apps, mostly through indeed. My one friend said he can get me one for where he works and help me fill it out so I have a better chance, I just want to be sure I’ll have a place to live first, it’s just a thing with me. Mostly cause if we are living out of the car, I won’t have access good access to charging my phone or checking email. So any job that would try to call or email wouldn’t really get a response.

            While moving quickly is a good idea, with this as my friend said it’s a good idea to make sure all our i’s are dotted and our t’s are crossed.

            1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #674481
      Jill Quinn
      Lady
      Registered On: July 24, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 211
      Has thanked: 1967 times
      Been thanked: 1033 times

      I’m sorry you’re having to go through such hard times, Jessica. Are there no girls like us in your area who could at least hold onto your feminine things? I hope a solution presents itself very soon.

      Hugs, Jill

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #674497
        Jessica Charms
        Lady
        Registered On: May 6, 2021
        Topics: 28
        Replies: 145
        Has thanked: 316 times
        Been thanked: 705 times

        Not sure really, plus I wouldn’t know how long they would be holding them for. I’ve never been one to burden others, it’s bad enough in my head that a friend of mine is holding my dvds for me (like every single one I own).

        3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #674516
          Jill Quinn
          Lady
          Registered On: July 24, 2021
          Topics: 2
          Replies: 211
          Has thanked: 1967 times
          Been thanked: 1033 times

          I understand what you’re saying. I hope you get an unexpected miracle.

          Jill

          3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #674478
      Janet Woodham
      Lady
      Registered On: January 21, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 69
      Has thanked: 457 times
      Been thanked: 320 times

      So sorry to hear this. I hope you find a resolution and peace.

      Janet

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #674305
      Greta La Folle
      Lady
      Registered On: August 6, 2022
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 313
      Has thanked: 621 times
      Been thanked: 1152 times

      Hi Jessica

      I wish you that a peaceful solution can be found and that tranquility can return to your soul.
      Everything happens for a reason …. But never forget that: we fall to learn to get back up (Gordon to Mr. Wayne – Batman)
      Be strong

      XOXOX from Italy
      Greta❤️

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #674289
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 1193
      Has thanked: 26374 times
      Been thanked: 4356 times

      Oh Jessica,

      Sorry to hear this awful news.
      Don’t get rid of your stuff right away. Sam is right, it’s to early in the game for that!
      Hoping you get good news from that law firm! I’m also glad your aunt and uncle aren’t going to kick you out!

      I will pray for you as well,

      Big hugs,

      Lara

       

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #674262
      Jessica Charms
      Lady
      Registered On: May 6, 2021
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 145
      Has thanked: 316 times
      Been thanked: 705 times

      Hey everyone I wanted to give an update. I’d love to say good news, but not so much. So my one aunt and other uncle have been trying to help us with this. Sadly they think I just have some magic paper that makes this entire thing go away. Yeah I don’t.

      Happily they aren’t willing to throw us out, but seeing as we are still on problem A while problem B for the most part is dealt with, problem A is now a bit worse. I did manage to talk with a lawyer friend, who was stumped by my question. Seems that since my uncle never had the property in his name, he might not be able to sign it over to us.

      Worse yet, if he never went through probate to begin the process where he was the executive of the estate in the eyes of the law, then we are back behind square 1.
      This is thanks to the laws in PA, and they confuse me. Our lawyer friend said I should contact a law firm he knows to ask for a consultation to try and figure this out as we would only have one shot at this the first time.

      Thanks to it being labor day weekend they are closed until Tuesday (maybe they will be open Monday, but I doubt it). So I couldn’t even begin to get an answer until then.
      So this entire thing gets to be the mountain of stress. I have no idea what’s going to happen. I haven’t heard back from the person I was talking to about taking my forms, so that isn’t sitting well. I’m hoping something happens, but hope and I don’t always see eye to eye.

      • #674284
        Lisa Leigh
        Lady
        Registered On: April 20, 2022
        Topics: 5
        Replies: 232
        Has thanked: 743 times
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        Jessica,
        we all hate hearing news like this. This info might be to late for you unfortunately, But I do hope it might help you and others in the future. One legal items we did a few years ago upon the passing of my mother was to establish a Family Trust. Their are many types of Trust and a lawyer should be used to help you create one. We have our savings, house, any type of in vestments in the name of the trust. Any one named in the trust, upon our passing, will simple take over the trust assets. It doesn’t cost much and to me it’s better then a will.

        God bless you and your family.
        Lisa Leigh.

        • #674498
          Jessica Charms
          Lady
          Registered On: May 6, 2021
          Topics: 28
          Replies: 145
          Has thanked: 316 times
          Been thanked: 705 times

          That might work, my uncle isn’t gone yet so that could work as a temporary idea. I’d have to look into it though.

    • #674230
      Dianna Rose
      Registered On: August 18, 2019
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 1104
      Has thanked: 1969 times
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      God be with you, Jessica.

    • #673742
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1304
      Has thanked: 4799 times
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      Oh Jessica that is awful news. I just hope that you will find the help and advice you need.

    • #673663
      Ginger Snap
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: March 9, 2022
      Topics: 18
      Replies: 155
      Has thanked: 4590 times
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      Jessica,
      That’s the sadist thing I’ve ever read. So hard to lose a parent, much less the circumstances you described. Please keep your head up, seek help. Don’t do anything drastic. Much prayers lifted up for you, your mom, dad and family. Keep us updated.
      Luv blessings and hugs
      Ginger

    • #673656
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 69
      Replies: 1095
      Has thanked: 2604 times
      Been thanked: 5145 times

      So sorry to hear of your plight. You really need a lawyer, I am assuming that what you have said is 100% the truth and that your uncle didn’t say something else to other relatives. By what you have said money is a huge problem, so might legal aid be a help??

      Be praying for you and your mother.

      . Cassie

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