Hi I'm new and would like some help

[cdheaven]

Hi

I’m new here, I’m 23 from London, UK.

I don’t really know how to write this but I have some depression and anxiety issues and found that a way to cope is to crossdress. I have no one to talk to about this and would just like some help

I have a girlfriend and we’ve been together for about 10 months. My issues of depression and anxiety  have come up but I’m too afraid to talk to her about crossdressing.

As a teenager I would sometimes try on my mum and sisters clothes when no one was at home but that stopped when I went to university. I spent a year abroad in Germany and found life hard there, especially in the winter, and thats when I found crossdressing could help. I have just finished uni and in my final year I did dress sometimes as well when I felt low

 

[Dame Veronica Graunwolf]

Hi Jessica!  I understand what you are going thru. The hardest thing in the world to do is deal with people and their perception of you. I do feel that you are a bit young and have been secluded in the Halls of Learning and don’t possess life experience to make a firm decision. No offense intended here.

I would suggest you speak to your guidance counciller on how to approach speaking with your girlfriend about your feelings. You don’t really know her and this could create more issues for you. Err on the side of conscience on tread carefully here. I am sure there is a gay/Lesbian group on campus…..speak with them….they have been thru what you are experiencing and are a gold mine of information.  If you have any specific questions, do let me know. I have been around the block and world many times, I may be able to help you with them or at least point you in another direction

Regards……….Lady Veronica Graunwolf.

[Anonymous]

Hi Jessica;

I’m so glad you’re reaching out. That’s probably the most important point of what appears to be a complex set of circumstances for you. My initial reaction is that your depression arises from a “deeper” issue that crossdressing, by itself, may not address. Having said that, for me, living an inauthentic life, wherein I repressed my femininity, certainly didn’t help my mental health. But my concern for you is that you might only see crossdressing as a way to cope with a “negative” need, instead of pursuing it for positive reasons. I have a history of depression as well, but only overcame this demon by dealing with a multiplicity of issues, the repression of my femininity being only one.

All this is way too complex for this forum alone, however. I strongly suggest you seek help from a trained therapist who specializes in gender related issues.

But so you know, the CDH community is one of unconditional love and support. That you’re with us means so much to me. Always know you are a beautiful person of with an innate dignity and beauty. We’re all here for you.

Erica

[Anonymous]

Welcome Jessica. I have not ling been a member and I have to say that I have found everyone here to be very friendly and helpful. You are amongst friends here snd although we are all dealing with our own issues, we do have time for each others too and we all understand about the crossdressing helping to alleviate stress.

I wish you lots of luck and happiness! x

[cdheaven]

Thank you everyone for your support!

[Zoe Kay]

So sorry you are going through all of this!  I know I have experienced depression and anxiety over my desire to crossdress and not being able to share it with my wife.  I finally told her last Friday night and it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders.

My suggestion?  Tell her…and tell her in the right setting so you two can be alone and talk it all out.  Only you know how to tell her and in your own way.  I finally told my wife when we were talking about what costumes we wanted to wear to a Comic Con event and I told her that I wanted to go as Wonder Woman!

Lots more flowed from that first opening that night and she had many questions and concerns…but was soon she was looking for a pair of heels and a dress for me!  Needless to say, I am completely happy and relieved.

I can’t say your girlfriend will react the same way but if you can’t be yourself with her, then she is not right for you.

 

Good luck and be you!  Go at your speed and remember – there is nothing wrong with you!  You’re amazing!

 

<3

 

 

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