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On when I began this journey I had a pair of panties and a bra. If I felt the need for Celeste to appear I could get make the change in/out in 2 minutes each direction. That ability for a quick change meant an hour of alone time could yield 56 minutes for Celeste. Over the years changing into Celeste has become more complicated. Digging out my wardrobe from storage, makeup, hair, earrings, mixing and matching my outfits all takes time. Add in time for my own personal photo shoots, coming here to chat while dressed-and the satisfaction of doing anything and everything when dressed. Then comes the unwinding if it all before someone sees me (though that is becoming less of a concern these days). Through all of that while I have found that an hour of alone time is not enough because I’ll spend most of that hour setting up and taking down Celeste and not nearly enough time being Celeste. So now I need at least 4 hours of alone time to let Celeste out. Short of that, I don’t change and instead dream of when I’ll get an appropriate amount of time to satisfy my soul. That leaves me wondering… do you take advantage of whatever amount of time you get? Or do you just need more time like me?
When I was young and closeted I would be delighted to get even a half hour to dress taking any opportunity I could. Now after coming out to the wife, I dress in some way every day all day long.
Nikki comes out whenever Nikki comes out. When she does and I am able to dress, it’s awesome, but when she does and I can’t dress, it’s definitely not awesome. I don’t have intense dysphoria, but it’s there. I’m lucky enough to be able to dress at home whenever I want, but sometimes I’m already out in drab, visiting family, at work, whatever. Nikki en drab is a special kind of discomfort. Just throwing on a skirt and top is enough, and if there’s time enough for makeup, joy.
For me, the question is the difference between a “need” and a “want”, I want to dress 100% of the time as a woman. If I had my way, I’d transition and live the rest of my life fully as a woman, but sadly, that is not an option.
So then, getting to how much time do I need? Well, that depends on what you mean by “to satisfy your soul.” For me, that means allowing me the time I need to fully and completely transform myself into the woman I crave being. This means a nice, long soak or hot shower, with plenty of time to shave, then moisturize all over, do my nails, and then take all the time I want to pick out and put on my lingerie, dress, heels, makeup, jewelry, and wig. And then having the time to not rush, but to enjoy everything that I can while en femme, up to and including going out in public as a woman.
So for me, it is definitely much more than four hours! 🙂
Hugs,
Holly
Thoughtful question! Before I came to terms with my real gender, I would dress in secret and liked any time to be in my preferred clothing. Once I came out as transgendered to my SO in April of 2021, I no longer hide or dress in secret. Coming out as transgendered has liberated the real me and I’m just me each day. Yes, I wear my clothes, yes I wear makeup, yes my nails are lacquered, yes, I am Debbie Lynn. So my exterior matches my interior. No more dressing in secret or hiding me from the world! 🤗
Celeste, like Holly mentioned it’s the time spent getting there as the woman I want to present. With the time bathing, shaving, picking out what to wear, than changing that outfit because it wasn’t what I wanted in the end. All of that to me is a real part of being femme and so if I’m really going for it I want to spend more time in dress and not feel rushed to change back. So yes definitely 4 hours plus for me, besides I’m always wearing a bra and panties so I know my femme soul is there.
SherriOh my, I wish I could answer endless time but in reality, my femme soul is like a massive hungry beast that requires constant feeding.
Alas, the best I can do to quell this beast is on weekends or a day off from work. What I try to do is get up as early as I can, do some chores, then shower which will then give me around 12+ hours (if everything goes right) of Wendy time.
In the meantime when I can’t fully transform, I have to feed the femme beast snacks of underdressing, either in panties/cami or swimsuits.
I don’t need to be alone to dress since I have such an accepting & supportive boyfriend and basically my entire wardrobe is romantic lingerie which is worn to bed, but in between daily “tasks” if I was to wear lingerie during the day around the house I’d probably want at least 2 hours to really feel enjoyment from it. I don’t do makeup, so it’s simply lingerie, wig and either bra or forms and that’s it. Easy on, easy off.
Hi Celeste, well, I’m at a point in life where I’ve got the dressing down to a pretty much organized routine, so if I can have at least 2-3 hours of me time, where I know I won’t be interrupted, I’ll dress. Of course, I’d love to have a lot more time, and in the past because of different circumstances I would have more time when doing it, but less actual available instances themselves. Now I have a lot more time periods, but not as much time, so I’ve learned to adjust.
We’re both retired now and even though my SO knows of my desires, I still do it privately. I suppose if we talked about it more, and we could reach an agreement allowing me to do it more, I would…but, when she is home, she’s always on some project, and 90% (or more) of them usually will involve me. I don’t need to be dressed when a friend comes calling which is far more likely with her at home.
A good example is just a little while ago. She went out to do some shopping, etc. and I thought seriously of dressing as the time frame was just at that lower limit, but I didn’t and as it turned out, one of our very good next door neighbor friends came by to drop something off. I didn’t get to the door in time, and she came in (which we both tend to do because we watch each other’s house when the other is gone.) Good thing I didn’t dress. That would have been a shock.
Hugs, ChloëC
I am (un)lucky enough to live alone. Since my wife passed I have all the time I want to dress. I have modified my dressing so that stealth femme outer clothes are the norm for my go-to clothes for most days if I have to go out anywhere. At home, I have the whole day to myself and can indulge in all the rest, nice bras, forms, skirts, dresses & wig.
Hi Celeste, thanks for the post. When my wife was working I would need all of 4 hours preferably more. Once she retired we had a talk about Trish and during the talk discussing how I was going to satisfy Trish she came up with “well you used to dress in Vancouver after business was done. Why don’t you go to Vancouver and meet some people like you. So that’s exactly what I did. I joined 2 CD social groups and through them found 3 girls who live where I do so now, unless I can get a full day or two as Trish I don’t bother dressing. But with the groups and my friends here I am Trish for at least 3-4 times a month for 1-3 days. I actually posted pics of me meeting my Vancouver girls friends if you wanted to see.
Trish
I am one of those incredibly fortunate girls, able to dress and present enfemme as I please. Even though my answer the poll was 4+ hours, I am really much like any Cis-gender woman who doesn’t bother to doll-up for a 15 minute visit to the grocery store, but if I am going to be presenting in public, where I might have significant exposure, I need to put on my full femme personna.
For me, depends on time of day IE I sleep femme every night and depending on the season various forms of nightwear, but (unless on a stinking hot OZ summer night) always starting with bra and breast forms. Favorite time is spring/autumn. Just the right overnight temps to be “all silk”, ie bra and forms as above, but silk cami, french knickers and full length nightie.
Come morning I switch back to drab and “emerge” from my bedroom.
Very little time to do day dressing at home, so again as anyone who reads my posts will know, my longest 18-24 hrs on on over night charity volunteer trips That when I normally do the “full Caty. An exception can be in school holidays when my beloved spends all day childminding elsewhere, but no make up etc.
Mostly only 3-4hrs on these occasions, but still fun and very relaxing.
Caty.
I usually only get an hour or 2 to dress, there are rare ocassions when I get more time though. Depending on how much time I hav will depend on how I dress. There are times it is just a nightie and panties (as I’m dressed now), other times panties, bra, stockings and garter belt or pantyhose, dress or skirt and blouse, wig, make up, heels and jewelry. Lately I’ve taken to wearing panties during the day when home. My wife is pretty good about giving me time a couple days a week but lately that hasn’t been happening. I have had a couple times when I was able to dress as I wanted over a weekend which was fun but needed to be careful in case someone dropped by.
XOXO
SuzanneFor me it’s also anticipation time too that’s so enjoyable. Some of the time I just like to think of what I am going to wear, how I will do makeup, nails or any thing else. Then, I guess I’m overly analytical, but I also like to research what I’m going to do to create my femme self on the internet. That way when I get started with the transformation, I can see how well it turned out. After I finish dressing so completely, I don’t want to go back, so I have to spend as much time as possible to stay dressed to make all the effort well worth it.
So, I voted for more than 4 hours. Any time less than that doesn’t seem to make the time worth it.
I did have one occasion when I had spent most of the day out, and had been anticipating getting home and spending some long girl time at home. So, I started on my eyes, and remembered that I had not covered my car, and it was going to rain. So, I decided to go to take care of it and just wear my sunglasses. Sure enough, I ran into a neighbor walking the dog who wanted to talk. Luckily my sunglasses were dark enough, and it was still day light, that she couldn’t notice any eye makeup or find it odd that I was wearing sunglasses, but I sure felt nervous the whole time talking. But after that I spent the rest of the day, and night dressed and enjoying my lengthy girl time.
In the past I needed 3 hrs plus as getting dressed was working to persuade me who I really was: now I accept I am Thea (sort of, most of the time….) I am usually dressing to get in touch with the true me: and although clothes are really helpful, they are only one way of doing that. If all’s going well and I am feeling really in touch I need very little: so it’s really quick. I have a “quick comfort outfit” (soft woolly tights, knitted dress and bra and wig) and can be in and out of that in 12 minutes (I’ve timed myself!). If it’s a bad patch I need much longer with all the shape wear etc, but the process itself is usually calming and peaceful., And 3 hours is fine.
Hugs Thea
“Umm….the rest of my life.”
That was my initial comment yesterday.
Yeah I do have a tendency toward flip responses like that one. Here though that response would apply to only the last couple of years. So I felt a
moreseriousbetter explanation was warranted.With my last SO we had a DADT arrangement. She knew. I wasn’t hiding anything. But I couldn’t show anything either. That limitation made being myself challenging.
Most days there was never more than a few hours where I could be me. At first I treasured those precious hours. As the months and years wore on, those hours became little more than a fleeting tease. A source of frustration.
That might make sense to some of you….
The challenge of living authentically led to getting a place of my own. It was actually my SO’s suggestion. She’s still my best friend, BTW.
Those windows of opportunity have become open ended. As it should be for a girl like me.
TransIsBeautiful
/EA
This is a great question.
Sometimes we probably all feel the need or urge to dress, but there is just is not enough “safe time”, and that is a frustration for us all I suppose.
I satisfy my needs when I cannot fully CD by wearing pantyhose, or panties, just to get that awesome feeling and being close to our femmes selves. So this takes very little time and an be done at any time really.
I can only really be fully en femme when either no one will be home for hours and hours, or days, or if I am away alone for work. I seize either opportunity to be Jenny, if I can.
So I guess for me, time is the greatest restriction to be my inner / other self, and a factor that is hard for me to change. Same for many of us I imagine.
To quote the great Tolkien, Gandalf says: “all we have to do is to decide what to do with the time that is given to us” – spend it wisely.. or unwisely, I guess that is our path.
Life is not a rehearsal, do what you want to do. Live for the moment. Enjoy our differences. We are special, no one can take that away!
stay safe..
Jenny xxx
I chose four hours as it takes two to two and half to go from man mode to April and if I have not shaved in a while face or body trimmed hair it may be 2.5 hours. Also for me I cant just partially dress I need to dress all the way or very close at minimum I need hair trimmed face and head shaved, full makeup, undergarments, clothing, jewelry, wig, shoes and false nails on my fingers. Toes don’t have to be painted but i do need my accessories glasses sun glasses and purse. If I will be out in public then hair removed from hands completely. If in public for more than a day than arms, legs, and chest shaved and toes painted and sometimes my nails depending on what nails I want to coordinate with what I wear. So at home four hours minimum due to to the prep time and pit crew clothing changes and photos to take prefer 6 to 10 over all. In public a minimum of 6 hours total 2 hours for prep and 4 hours minimum dressed prefer 7 to 10 hours dressed total. I have not dressed completely from morning till night and then women’s clothing in bed as to me it is a balance of wanting to dress and then all the work so when I have gone to multi day events I have only dressed mid day or late afternoon to late night early morning. Maybe I should try a complete day to see I will have to give it some thought and if the wife is with me away or at home will need to discuss that with her.
I guess it is all complicated lol.
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