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  • #372437
    Natalie Moore
    Participant
    Registered On: June 3, 2020
    Topics: 9
    Replies: 26
    Has thanked: 121 times
    Been thanked: 224 times

    Every time I go out I give myself more challenges, it’s been fun ! I’ve got to a point where I’ve over come fears of shopping for women’s clothing as a guy too and started to ask myself “ I should be able to  do this dressed like a woman” I’m taking little steps and going out in the day time for just quick walks or a drive but I’m still holding back on going to a store and possibly buying something. I’m stalling because I’m still not so confident about people seeing me. Although the day time drives are helping that. It’s amazing how far I’ve come since I first went out the door as Natalie about a month ago. I think my biggest fear is my voice and I have tired to practice a feminine voice which I’m sure I’ll fudge up when someone says hi, it’s a work in progress, hope everyone is having a good weekend !

    Natalie

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    • #373601
      Dawn Wyvern
      Ambassador
      Registered On: February 23, 2019
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 126
      Has thanked: 51 times
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      Hi Natalie et.al.

      I call this the Pandora effect ! Once you let Pandora out of the box it’s very hard to put her away again.

      Each ‘first’ step we take for the first time soon becomes the normal and we push the boundaries to find the next milestone and experience.

      Do you remember the first time you put on a dress … the guilt and worry that you would be caught, then the first makeup experiments – with the fear that you haven’t removed your mascara completely and everyone would notice, then the first time you dressed in full with the worry that the doorbell would go .. hiding your collection of clothes and paranoid that they would be found … etc. etc.

      These soon become normal, with Pandora taking the helm and guiding you out into the big wide world with abound and a pounding heart !

      I have been dressing since I was very young, starting in the 1960’s and with Pandoras persistent pushing,  am very out and about as well as being very comfortable and confident in my female role, … however Pandora is still pushing me to have new experiences from time to time!

      So Enjoy It  – but keep Pandora in her place !

      hugs

      Dawn (and her Pandora!)

       

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373544
      Lee Ann Rakers
      Participant
      Registered On: August 18, 2019
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 415
      Has thanked: 614 times
      Been thanked: 1187 times

      Natalie, you are awesome!

      Lee Ann

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #373540
      Isabel
      Participant
      Registered On: February 4, 2020
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 51
      Has thanked: 57 times
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      Hey girls,

      It’s only natural to be nervous.  Though, to be perfectly honest, I feel far more nervous about shopping in women’s departments when I’m not dressed, but we’re all different.  Plus, I have the added advantage of living in an area where only about a dozen people could pick me out of a crowd.

      Here’s a suggestion that might help you and anyone else with this problem.  First, think of a shop nearby and an item that they sell that you would like to get for your femme side; It can be clothing, make-up, whatever you want, but I found it works best with shoes.

      Second, go onto their website and find the item, making sure to check they have it in your size and preferably one size either way.  Then create an online account on their website, using your femme name, it helps if your real name and femme name start with the same letter.  If so you can just USE that, if you’re really nervous.

      Thirdly, place the order, but ensure that you can do as a click and collect.

      Forthly, get all dressed up and go to the store.  Make sure to have your order number written down or have it saved somewhere convenient on your phone.  Then when you go in, you only have to say “click and collect”, or “collection” if you’re nervous about your voice.  Show the sales clerk the order number, you may have to confirm you phone number ect for data protection.  Whewn they hand you the item(s) say “thank you” and leave.

      Finally, try them on when you get home to make sure they fit.  If not you can return to store when dressed another day, or go as a guy and just act oblivious and unsure of yourself.  Let on that it was your sister/girlfriend/wife who ordered them, or that you ordered them for her and you’re just returning them.  They won’t ask, and this is what they’ll assume anyway.  Alternatively, best case scenario, they fit and you don’t have to go back until you want something else.

      Either way it doesn’t matter.  It’s all to help you build up to going shopping en femme in a more traditional manner and if you follow this process, bar possibly a return, you might only have to say half a dozen words when dressed.

      Hope this is helpful Natalie and anyone else with this problem.

      Hugs,
      Isabel

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #373458
      JOJO
      Participant
      Registered On: August 5, 2018
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 25
      Has thanked: 21 times
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      I remember the first time I went out en femme and how nervous I was. However, with each time I went out I gained more and more self confidence with my dressing. That was many years ago and my self confidence still builds today each time I go out.

      Personally for me I believe that self confidence is key and the more confidence you have the more you will want to go out.  Please make sure that when you go out it is to a safe environment and that you feel comfortable there.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #373433
      Alicen Thairms
      Participant
      Registered On: July 15, 2019
      Topics: 27
      Replies: 294
      Has thanked: 1007 times
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      If possible I like to go out whenever I get the chance to dress; if I have the time a short drive and have a nice walk by the sea or in a park – maybe a short local walk around the neighbourhood, or a bit of time in the garden – sometimes even something as mundane as putting out the trash.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #373281
      Stephanie Brown
      Participant
      Registered On: July 14, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 16
      Has thanked: 6 times
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      I am going out more and more as Stephanie and loving it yes like some of you have said the female voice is a hit and miss with me but never had a bad comment yet. The other thing I think about is do I look like a woman or a man in a dress. I have been looking at women more closely specially their faces and today a girl on BBC being interviewed as she walked to sit down on camera I thought it was a guy not ne nasty but it was my first impression. So over the last few weeks I have become to realized facially that we have males look like females and females that look like males so I have stopped worrying trying to look like the ultimate female.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373137
      Mary Priscilla
      Participant
      Registered On: May 23, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 32
      Has thanked: 33 times
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      Yes definitely, but with conditions.  I want to be completely feminine both in terms of dress and how I act when out in public.  As several “sisters” have commented, the voice thing can be a problem which I solved by inviting a friend to join and speak for me when needed.  I know that some people have quickly seen me as a man in a dress, but I like to entertain myself with the idea that a lot of people saw me as a woman.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373133
      Mary Ann Summers
      Participant
      Registered On: April 29, 2020
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 70
      Has thanked: 188 times
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      You are correct.. the more you go out, the more you want to. When I go out now I don’t go back until I absolutely have to. (Wife still doesn’t know) I’ve been cutting it too close lately, today I didn’t get a chance to take off my toe nail polish… gotta hide my feet tonight when I get to bed!

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373127
      Laura Lovett
      Participant
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 316
      Has thanked: 856 times
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      OMG.  I see my own experiences in every single writing here.  Since I started going out one year ago, I want to be out more and more as Annie.   I feel as if I look the part.   My make improves with every outing.    I have developed a style and have chose cloths that fit in.   I too shy away from people other than clerks in  stores but I am getting braver and I soon will use my slightly elevated male voice in what I believe is a reasonable female intonation. Even if it doesn’t work, I know I’ll be ok.  I just have to get past this next hurdle.  When I first went out I was afraid someone would shout  “hey a man in a dress”.  Didn’t happen.  I can survive and I love being Annie.   If I can do it you can too

       

      Huggs and 😘😘😘

      Annie.

      I’ve had the “It’s a man in a dress” line a couple of times, but most people see through the makeup pretty quickly, so, yeah, I’m a man in a dress.

      More people tell me they love what I do in excited voices, big smiles, wide eyes and, pre COVID-19, big hugs than make a nasty remark.

      So what if you don’t pass – that’s the goal for many, but each time I go out, I devote a bit of the time wondering how to improve for next time. If someone has a bad comment, I may consider whether there’s any truth in the words.

      Usually not 😁

      Love Laura

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    • #373020
      Pamela Howit
      Participant
      Registered On: August 4, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 11
      Has thanked: 1 time
      Been thanked: 53 times

      Quite Simply YES

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #372999
      Natalie Moore
      Participant
      Registered On: June 3, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 26
      Has thanked: 121 times
      Been thanked: 224 times

      Thank you everyone for all the  lovely comments, stories, and support. It’s wonderful hearing from so many different ladies on here each with your own experiences!

      Natalie

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #372931
      Rhonda Jones
      Participant
      Registered On: March 17, 2019
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 37
      Has thanked: 192 times
      Been thanked: 76 times

      Yes it is absolutely true .the more i am out as Rhonda the more i want to go out as Rhonda .Seven times in the last 5 weeks .The last time was on saturday night to the movies . I had a slight problem there , i still can” work out how to use the ticket machine .Fortunately i had a pen and a bit of paper in my purse showed that to the person at the counter , and all was fine .
      Rhonda .

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    • #372913
      Michelle Bailey
      Participant
      Registered On: July 17, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 71
      Has thanked: 853 times
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      Hi Natalie well done ,I have no problem at all going out underdressed , shopping ,walking ,out with my wife (she doesn’t know about my dressing ),but whether I will get out enfemme  thats a big step ,of course  one day I would like to try ,’watch this space’ maybe a long wait !

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #372905
      Rachel Williams
      Participant
      Registered On: June 16, 2019
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 163
      Has thanked: 366 times
      Been thanked: 400 times

      One good way to go out en femme is to, if you can, travel out of town solo.  When I do so, I bring everything to make Rachel one dynamite dame.  If you’re not confident in putting on makeup, get a makeover from a good artist (once this crud goes away).

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #372880
      Alison Anderson
      Participant
      Registered On: October 15, 2018
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 313
      Has thanked: 152 times
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      I’ve been going out quite often this past year.  Mostly walks through my neighborhood.  People recognize “Alison” as I always go out en femme.  Sometimes people will say hello as we pass.  The other day a woman was commenting to me that although it was cooler, the humidity was still up.

      I have also been known to go to stores en femme, and since the pandemic have been doing it most of the time.  Only in places where I am known do I go en homme.

      Although your voice may be a giveaway, people don’t care.  I have been plenty of times to restaurants with some of my CD friends who don’t even try to feminize their voice.  The waiter or waitress doesn’t even give a second look.  I try to feminize my voice but not always with the same level of success.  So what if they figure out you are really male?  They are still getting your business.

      Before Dress Barn closed, I would go in often, mostly in male mode.  It was 1/4 mile from home, so it was convenient.  Sometimes I would shop, sometimes I would  pick up packages that I had shipped there to save on shipping costs.  On two occasions, I stopped in there while dressed.  A sales associate looked at me, said “Oh, hi!” with a clear indication that she recognized me.  And then went about her business.  No consequences.

      So while working on your voice can make you feel better about going out, don’t let it hamper you.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #372876
      Annie Potts
      Participant
      Registered On: January 23, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 51
      Has thanked: 21 times
      Been thanked: 178 times

      OMG.  I see my own experiences in every single writing here.  Since I started going out one year ago, I want to be out more and more as Annie.   I feel as if I look the part.   My make improves with every outing.    I have developed a style and have chose cloths that fit in.   I too shy away from people other than clerks in  stores but I am getting braver and I soon will use my slightly elevated male voice in what I believe is a reasonable female intonation. Even if it doesn’t work, I know I’ll be ok.  I just have to get past this next hurdle.  When I first went out I was afraid someone would shout  “hey a man in a dress”.  Didn’t happen.  I can survive and I love being Annie.   If I can do it you can too

       

      Huggs and 😘😘😘

      Annie.

    • #372874
      Amy Myers
      Participant
      Registered On: February 11, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 1002
      Has thanked: 2483 times
      Been thanked: 2270 times

      I also slowly worked up in small steps,  to now I’m confident to go out to a busy mall anytime. I had help from a few other CD’s, and the girls here at CDH to get my presentation as good as possible.

      Amy

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #372691
      Laura Lovett
      Participant
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 316
      Has thanked: 856 times
      Been thanked: 1320 times

      GGs have had their whole lives to practice – we’re jumping in at the deep end!

      If you fudge the voice, don’t worry, because your “audience” won’t.

      Just use the experience to improve for next time.

      It’s like learning the most complicated instrument ever – so many aspects, so many techniques, but it’s really fun to learn!

      Love Laura

    • #372683
      Deborah Sullivan
      Participant
      Registered On: February 27, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 255
      Has thanked: 1055 times
      Been thanked: 860 times

      Just stay with it Natalie because it gets easier and more exciting with time as your confidence will build

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #372643
      Mikey Johnson
      Participant
      Registered On: August 18, 2019
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 66
      Has thanked: 81 times
      Been thanked: 169 times

      Hi Natalie.  I’ve been out a few times once I got good enough with makeup to have some confidence.  But mostly I always avoided encounters requiring voice communication – felt (like you?) that this was my weak point.  Then I was home alone one day expecting a workman to show up about 1 pm.  I was dressed nicely,  just comfy in leggings and a soft purple tank type top, shapewear and forms on, wig and makeup and some light jewelry, had been working all morning.  Was just about to go convert back to guy mode so I could deal with the workman in an hour when the doorbell rang.  He was there an hour early.  It was necessary work, and I couldn’t get changed and remove the makeup quickly – he’d be gone by the time I got converted back to guy mode.  I decided to just deal with him as Mikey, and I did!  Luckily, due to the COVID he didn’t come inside – the work was in the back yard.  But I had to talk to him, and stand on the back patio and listen while he summarized his task, and the whole time he never batted an eye – just dealt with me like I was just another lady at her house!  It was amazing, and very affirming.  So just buck up your confidence and go for it.  It’s an amazing feeling to be treated as a lady.  And so damn fun!

      Mikey

    • #372626
      Stephanie Kennedy
      Participant
      Registered On: March 15, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 599
      Has thanked: 3598 times
      Been thanked: 2157 times

      Hi Natalie Sounds like you have accepted how you always felt is right.Now you just want to openly express it. It makes no sense to keep all that cuteness inside your head. Just take your time and learn . Do not forget that all those beautiful and cute woman you see took a life time to learn how to look cute and pretty. Now you entered their world. Take the time to learn as they did. Start with something simple and basic and begin to add when your comfortable. Never underestimate your accomplishments the simplest items you have worn have already been noticed and you have shown what gender you most would like to emulate. Most people are just to busy and have to much going on in their lives to give it a second thought. Its ok to be you. So just do not over do it. It a learning process. You will get there. as many have said before”BABY STEPS” Luv Stephanie

    • #372610
      Stephanie Brown
      Participant
      Registered On: July 14, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 16
      Has thanked: 6 times
      Been thanked: 85 times

      Hi Natalie

      Once you take that big step out the door it becomes addictive to try more things in going out. Over the last year or so I have become so confident of going out I now I do not even think if I should dress male femme dressing is always my first choice. The biggest give a way is your voice and and I still slip up quite often but never got a bad reaction and got to the point that I do not feel embarrassed about doing it as I view it as this is my true self and the world can love me or not. But then I was watching a interview last night on BBC and they interviewed a lady and if I had my eyes closed would have sworn it was a guy talking. My advice is go out enjoy yourself take baby steps so you feel comfortable do not worry to much about your voice but may be talk softer than normal. The most important thing is to have fun with who you are.

    • #372503
      Carla Jones
      Participant
      Registered On: May 14, 2017
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 259
      Has thanked: 42 times
      Been thanked: 895 times

      You are correct Natalie, once you go out and see how wonderful it is,  you can’t stop and will start going out more and more.

      Carla

       

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #372500
      Stephanie Roberts
      Participant
      Registered On: May 20, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 230
      Has thanked: 1795 times
      Been thanked: 768 times

      Well done Natalie!!! Keep going girl!

       

      Love, Stephanie ❤️

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #372491
      patty williams
      Participant
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 62
      Replies: 1110
      Has thanked: 1690 times
      Been thanked: 3575 times

      Hi Natalie,

      I did it a little over a month ago and then again last week and my voice isn’t close yet.

      No one gave me a second look sweetie.

      I have barely spoken to a sales associate that asked if I needed help a head nod will do.LOL

      Seriously my friend Sa-man-tha and some other friends on here told me confidence is the key and if you want to do something bad enough you will have the confidence.

      Just pick some nicer stores in a good area and go for it Girlfriend .

      You won’t be sorry.

      Girl power

      I promise you won’t be sorry.

      Hugs Patty

    • #372484
      Jamie Hillside
      Participant
      Registered On: August 2, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 8
      Has thanked: 14 times
      Been thanked: 33 times

      A friend at this time is worth a  thousand dollars.  You can give each other courage and it is safer in some setting to be together !

    • #372481
      Bettylou Cox
      Participant
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 1348
      Has thanked: 2097 times
      Been thanked: 3884 times

      Hi Natalie,

      You are correct about the addictive effect of Dressing.  Since I became fairly good with makeup, I just have to go out at least once per week.  It feels so good to be Bettylou that I no longer care if my voice gives me away when I make purchases (though I keep working on it).  You will find that even if the store clerks “read” you, they remain courteous and helpful.

      Hugs,

      Bettylou

    • #372473
      Rachel Cox
      Participant
      Registered On: March 25, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 31
      Has thanked: 106 times
      Been thanked: 165 times

      Yes Natalie I agree that once you go outside as a woman you want more and more. I went out for the first time last fall and I loved it. I’ve gone out many more times and always have a wonderful time. I always push it more and more and I fit in more and more as a woman. Hope you continue to explore life as a woman in the outside world 🙂

      -Rachel

    • #372449
      Vanessa Harris
      Participant
      Registered On: July 7, 2020
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 64
      Has thanked: 69 times
      Been thanked: 343 times

      im trying to work my way up to that point! i was close to going out once then got so scared i stoped 🙁 i feel like i need a partner to help me out lol. congrats on being brave and having the courage maybe 1 day ill get there lol

       

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