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  • #664255
    Carmen Cruz
    Participant
    Registered On: September 12, 2021
    Topics: 33
    Replies: 341
    Has thanked: 504 times
    Been thanked: 1982 times

    Apparently, taking HRT for someone who already passes publicly is “being superficial” and “making a joke out of” HRT and trans-women who “need it to be a woman.”

    Um, wait? Isn’t that just as superficial as someone who wants to take HRT to look like a HOTTER woman?

    I mean, seriously, I think I’m a relatively smart person in general… and then I try to think of some of the crap I get from the trans community… and I draw a blank. Like seriously, my mind goes numb and I’m dumbfounded as if I’m the stupidest person on earth.

    When I get questions/hate like that from another trans, I felt like asking… “So, you’re taking HRT… can you honestly tell me (or admit), that you’re taking it so you can be as ugly of a woman as possible? There is absolutely no thought whatsover, anywhere in your brain, that you want to be a pretty woman instead???? WTF?????????????

    I tell ya, bunch of people with their panties in a bunch. I had posted that it’s time for me to take HRT, and boy those downvotes and messages came in faster than anything I’ve ever seen. Almost comical actually, considering how much support every body else gets when they post they’re starting HRT.

    And ya wonder why I’m trying to disassociate from online social communities.

Viewing 27 reply threads
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    • #664998
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 348
      Has thanked: 180 times
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      What ever happened to old saying, ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’? The anonymity of the internet makes keyboard warriors out of fools.

      The very same people that demand tolerance from the rest of society are in fact very much intolerant themselves.

      Eileen

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664534
      Kim Dahlenbergen
      Lady
      Registered On: November 18, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 157
      Has thanked: 96 times
      Been thanked: 495 times

      I really don’t get why you received negative feedback on your decision to begin HRT. It seems utterly appropriate and timely. There is nothing superficial about wanting to align your body chemistry with your mind. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to do your best to present attractively.

      Like they say, haters gotta hate. But we don’t have to listen to them!

      Go for it girl and be proud!!!

      Love,

      Kim

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #664618
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 33
        Replies: 341
        Has thanked: 504 times
        Been thanked: 1982 times

        Hahaha! Thank you! That’s why I said, some of this stuff I try to comprehend, I listen to what they’re saying, look at it from every perspective… and then for this one… my mind is just… mumbo jumbo… zero comprehension skills on my part. I have no clue! LOL

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #664482
      Roberta Broussard
      Baroness
      Registered On: July 20, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 289
      Has thanked: 4158 times
      Been thanked: 1343 times

      One of the things I’ve come to learn is that, sometimes good people say the wrong thing or make bad decisions.

      I am so sorry that their negativity hit you so deeply. Thankfully we know that that is not the norm. Looking back over all of the post above. You are truly surrounded by love and concern.

      Life is too short to let these unhappy people occupy any space in your head. Enjoy your life Carmen, enjoy it all that you can.

       

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664471
      Mary Jane
      Lady
      Registered On: September 30, 2020
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 532
      Has thanked: 847 times
      Been thanked: 2662 times

      Sigh!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #664473
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 33
        Replies: 341
        Has thanked: 504 times
        Been thanked: 1982 times

        MaryJane!!!! Haven’t seen you in a hot minute! Hope you’re doing wonderful and life is aaaaammmmaaazzzing!

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #664484
          Mary Jane
          Lady
          Registered On: September 30, 2020
          Topics: 25
          Replies: 532
          Has thanked: 847 times
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          Hi Carmen. Life is good and busy atm. We have guests staying atm, which while they are very welcome, it curbs the cding somewhat.

          We are busy implementing inflation busting constructions. Animal fences. New vege gardens. Wood fired hot water system. (Gas is expensive and we are restricted on supply at times. )

          The pink fog of depression got to me a little today. But I slept it off. Sadly the reality of life has had to put CD on the back burner.

          Regarding your story, the intolerant bitchyness among the purported tolerant always astounds me.

          3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664457
      DeeAnn Hopings
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 10, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 855
      Has thanked: 9 times
      Been thanked: 2339 times

      Carmen:

      In any community there can be a great deal of posturing and people trying to set themselves apart or above. It’s BS designed to make themselves look and/or feel good. The reality is that those same people would be really appalled if someone were to fling that BS at them. Once you know what is happening, the only sensible thing to do is ignore it and realize the lengths that people will go to in order to make themselves feel important…

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #664425
      Paula Here
      Lady
      Registered On: April 13, 2020
      Topics: 21
      Replies: 178
      Has thanked: 844 times
      Been thanked: 1119 times

      Hi Carmen,

      I see you on the other site and love what you post.  You inspire me to try harder to look the way i want.

      You are beautiful and confidant.

      CDH is here to support you when ever you need it.

      Hugs and Kisses

      Paula

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664447
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 33
        Replies: 341
        Has thanked: 504 times
        Been thanked: 1982 times

        Hi Paula!!!!  I really appreciate hearing this.  It makes me feel good, since that’s really why I post so much.  As you can probably tell, I try to maintain as much positivity, confidence, and strength as possible on the site, hopefully to inspire others who are scared to go out to just go try it, that it isn’t all doom and gloom, that society isn’t as negative and hateful as trans communities make it out to be.

        I see plenty of trans out and about, and everybody I’ve observed just treats them like everyone else, let alone ignores them like everyone else too.

        From observation, the only negative I’ve seen from society (not transphobic trans folks) is when a trans is trying to shove their being trans dowñ someone’s throat because of some bad interaction that had absolutely nothing to do initially with them being trans.  Sigh.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664424
      BillieJay
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: September 21, 2018
      Topics: 1850
      Replies: 288
      Has thanked: 670 times
      Been thanked: 1455 times

      Please note!

      I have communicated with Carmen  on this, and her concerns were about another site.

      you know my policies on that… we don’t mention or refer members to other sites, and for good reason (such as this interaction).

      the lack of support, and the backlash she mentions, were  neither here nor our sister site.

      which is why I avoid posting on those other sites…

      back to your regularly scheduled forums postings…

      BillieJay out

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664420
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 703
      Has thanked: 4013 times
      Been thanked: 3302 times

      Hi Carmen!

      I had a feeling this is your post just by looking at the title! LOL!!

      I’m shocked and appalled!

      Yeah, I want to look pretty too! It’s not gonna happen, but you can’t blame a girl for trying!!

      Hugs!

      Barb

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664418
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 569
      Has thanked: 2137 times
      Been thanked: 2653 times

      Hi Carmen, I really don’t know what kind of ‘community’ social site you’re referring to, but it obviously isn’t there to be supportive.  Maybe there are some unsupportive people here, I surely haven’t seen many if at all. Of course, I’m not on here moment by moment, but so far, practically every comment I’ve read here – not just this thread but most others as well – shows tremendous support (or doesn’t last long enough for me to read it!).

      I doubt I’ll ever visit or even want to know what kind of social media sites encourage people to disrespect others.  Which leads me to strongly suspect that few true trans people actually inhabit sites like that.  It wouldn’t surprise me that there are a number of people out there who for whatever reason despise anyone they feel has different beliefs than they have…at best, or have such a non-life that they have decided to bring anyone else down to their level.  So don’t even respond to them because as the saying goes, not only will they drag you down to their level, they’ll beat you with experience.

      You do what you feel best for you. I think you present a very attractive image and if you desire to do anything to improve upon it, that is your decision and no one else’s.  And hopefully, most if not all here will continue supporting you as best we can.

      Hugs, ChloeC

       

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #664414
      Fiona Black
      Lady
      Registered On: November 23, 2019
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 123
      Has thanked: 49 times
      Been thanked: 411 times

      Carmen,

      Sometime the trans community is it’s own worst enemy.

      Hugs,
      Fiona

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664379
      Brielle
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 483
      Has thanked: 2407 times
      Been thanked: 2025 times

      ?Hi Carmen,

      That is just awful! What are we trying to do in unifying against all the transphobic hate if we’re caught up in this silly buggars debate about who is deserving of therapy, hormone or otherwise? There are also many transwomen and men who look down on others who haven’t had “the surgery”. I thought transwomen are women. But only some?

      Wow, next time, tell them the testosterone in your body causes you serious mental health problems. I’m nowhere near as far along as you, but I am not a big, burly guy and never was. I had a normal level of T in me and I fought with myself my whole life. Just because one is less masculine-looking has no bearing on the hormones, and certainly doesn’t change the genetic scramble we transwomen have from birth.

      Of course, you could just tell em to f%$k off and lay them out! But that won’t win any allies, either I suppose. It sure would feel good, though! (giggles) Keep doing what you do and be true to yourself! That’s the whole point of our journey, whether CD or trans. We need to feel right in here regardless of what anyone else thinks!

      Hugs,

      Brie

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664370
      Jill Quinn
      Lady
      Registered On: July 24, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 132
      Has thanked: 1133 times
      Been thanked: 590 times

      Hello Carmen,

      I’m very sorry that you’re being attacked such vicious and petty people. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, what do they care?!? It’s not their life or their choice so, to hell with them.  If being on HRT is going to make you feel happier and more feminine, and more like you’re meant to be, then go for it. I wish you all the joy in the world!

      Hugs and support, Jill

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #664357
      Lauren Mugnaia
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 1, 2021
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 254
      Has thanked: 2440 times
      Been thanked: 1272 times

      Lots of kisses Carmen, lots of kisses! If I could look as good as you it would be truly wonderful! I would love to go on HRT but cannot due to having heart surgery last year. I have transitioned anyway and now live fulltime as a trans woman. I can tell you that I get just as many people telling me I’m crazy as I have telling me I have such an amazing life ahead. Reddit really sucks, way too many trolls. Hang with us here on CDH and TGH and I don’t think you’re going to get any negative flack from us.

      hugs, and more kisses,

      Lauren M

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664371
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 33
        Replies: 341
        Has thanked: 504 times
        Been thanked: 1982 times

        Kisses make everything better!  For me, HRT is a way to progress.  Mind you, due to my own personal ambition and drive, I felt I needed to achieve a certain goal and level with this BEFORE I rely on something else other than my own natural ability and capabilities.

        There are just things in my personality that makes me this way.  Part of that is simply self reliance.  With anything, I don’t like being able to use scapegoat mentality for anything that happens in my life.  I own it, and want to claim that any goal I’ve been successful or a failure at was due entirely to me and me alone.  I own it.

        When it comes to HRT, based on research and reading and seeing everyone’s plight with it, it’s not a given.  The results may or may not be successful.  It may even prove health risks.  So for me, in the event it doesn’t produce results, or I stop taking it for health reasons, or or or… then I’d have to “fall back” to what I am prior to HRT… and that’s as a perceived hot cis woman running around in the world dressed scantily in booty shorts and high heels looking foxy.

        If I do things any other way in my life, then failure of anything would not give me enough self guidance or decision making strength if I can easily rely on a scapegoat for my failure.

         

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664351
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 1406
      Has thanked: 8645 times
      Been thanked: 6860 times

      Carmen, do yourself and to heck with seeking approval from strangers. It only matters what you want, not what others think. If HRT is for you then go for it.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664374
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 33
        Replies: 341
        Has thanked: 504 times
        Been thanked: 1982 times

        Thank you dear!  I just feel it’s time.  My curiosity level and interest is too high now to not at least try it so I can say I did.  If I don’t, I’ll spend too much much time “wondering” about it.  Lmao!

        You’re awesome!  Thank you, again 🙂

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #664346
      Marg Produe
      Lady
      Registered On: March 16, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 144
      Has thanked: 464 times
      Been thanked: 449 times

      Hi Carmen,  You seen to have become the lightning rod for the latest Mean Girls Group.  Perhaps they are just threatened by your self assurance, beauty, or just don’t want anyone else to be progressive or successful.  It’s really easy to be an anonymous nasty person on the net if you just want to screw with people and won’t share.  I look for people who genuinely want to help and discard the rest.  Nevertheless, it does hurt to be so dissed.  I will say that it seems to me to be a very small part of this whole LGBTIQ etc. thing.  Just like major potholes on the freeway they are somewhere out there and can cause a real ding in your sense of peace and direction and may even cause lasting damage.  Try to not get too shaken but remember your own inner sense of self direction.  You know, the one that first got you started on this path.  Use that strength and resolve to go forward and then remember also to pass it on in the future to others that may come under the Mean Girls Spite.   I’m glad that you find CDH to be a useful and comforting place.

      Safe Journey,  Marg

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664345
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 1596
      Has thanked: 3119 times
      Been thanked: 5367 times

      Carmen,

      You are a smart girl, so you don’t need me to say ignore them (there is too much drama out there). I hope you don’t give up on all of us. I enjoy your post and pics. I wish you luck with HRT.

      Hugs, Liara

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664375
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 33
        Replies: 341
        Has thanked: 504 times
        Been thanked: 1982 times

        Thank you Liara!  Hope you’re doing well and happy!  You still have to let me know when I need to drag you out of the house, dress you up foxy, and make a girl’s night out of looking super slutty to anyone who cares to observe.  Lmao!!!!!

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664332
      Amy Catrelle
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2022
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 203
      Has thanked: 533 times
      Been thanked: 908 times

      There’s a lot of envy and jealousy in the world of anti-social media. I doubt you’d be getting such negative remarks if you were 6’7″ and built like a brick outhouse. I mean really, do they think you can just throw on a dress and instantly transform? I’ve read many of your posts Carmen and know that you put in a lot of time and effort to perfect your look, and if HRT is a way forward for you then go for it. Nobody’s business but your own. x

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664376
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 33
        Replies: 341
        Has thanked: 504 times
        Been thanked: 1982 times

        Thank you.  I really hope as a community people just get out of that negative mindset… We are all in the same clusterf*ck of gender spectrum.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #664331
      Ashley Konners
      Lady
      Registered On: August 15, 2020
      Topics: 39
      Replies: 532
      Has thanked: 1938 times
      Been thanked: 2553 times

      How about people mind there business and F off. Just do you hun.  We are all entitled to make OUR own choices in life hun.  It boggles my mind you have had to deal with such bullshit from a community that is always looking out for one another.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664378
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 33
        Replies: 341
        Has thanked: 504 times
        Been thanked: 1982 times

        Hey Ashley!  No kidding right?????

        It’s really hard for me to not go at it right back at people.  This whole thing is confusing and hard on people as it is.  My haters may be a-holes, but the fact remains that they’re struggling with this like we all are.  The depression in the trans community is real.  Do I want to throw back with things I can say that would hurt them worse than they can ever hurt me?  Absolutely.  But I can’t.  I can’t feel good about myself if I contribute knowingly in a mean spirited away to add to misery.  That’s super messed up in my position.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664329
      Danielle Anaya
      Lady
      Registered On: January 3, 2020
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 107
      Has thanked: 84 times
      Been thanked: 814 times

      Carmen, I have experienced as much intolerance from some in the LGBTQ community as I have from some in the mainstream community.  I can’t explain it but it is there.  Unfortunately, whenever you share your journey, you risk criticism from people who seem to live to expose others to their hateful opinions.  I hope you can just let it go and just be you.  You are beautiful and your journey is yours to experience.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664315
      Michelle Trott
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 7, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 489
      Has thanked: 1477 times
      Been thanked: 2172 times

      I can’t understand how anyone could question your decision. Being beautiful and being a woman are not the same thing. Maybe I am as stupid as you ? I concure with other posts. They must be jelous. I know I am. You look incredible. Go for it girl if it is what you desire. Hugs.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664303
      Susan Talbot
      Lady
      Registered On: June 28, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 163
      Has thanked: 1098 times
      Been thanked: 541 times

      Carmen plz don’t listen to negativity just let it all bounce off you.  Think positive and just be you.  We only get 1 chance at life so live it the way you want and keep looking beautiful.

      Susan.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #664300
      Maive O’Neal
      Lady
      Registered On: May 18, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 40
      Has thanked: 52 times
      Been thanked: 131 times

      It sounds to me there is a bit of jealousy involved in those negative comments. Become the woman you truly want to be and ignore those comments. Your life and your decisions. I have to do the same. They have affected my life long enough. Go girl and become your Wonder Woman!!!!! CDH has been a savior for me. Enjoy your life Carmen!!!!!!!!

      Maive xx

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664295
      Sandy Honey
      Lady
      Registered On: February 24, 2021
      Topics: 23
      Replies: 458
      Has thanked: 306 times
      Been thanked: 2347 times

      Haters going to hate…some people will find a way to hate, it seems to be their life goal. Most people that make such statements are so unhappy with their life they want to try and make others as miserable as they are. If you want to be on HRT then its your decision and yours only. We only have one life to live so enjoy it the way you want.

      Hugs,

      Sandy

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664284
      Kelly English
      Lady
      Registered On: July 10, 2022
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 89
      Has thanked: 390 times
      Been thanked: 438 times

      You go girl! Don’t let the Debbie Downers bother you. It is pure jealousy, that’s all. I mean come on, look at you, you are gorgeous, I am jealous too. BUT, I want what is best for you. There is more to HRT than feminizing features.

      Besitos

      Kelly

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664276
      jennifer
      Lady
      Registered On: February 11, 2016
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 32
      Has thanked: 35 times
      Been thanked: 72 times

      You look beautiful and dont let people discourage you .

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664274
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1095
      Has thanked: 4153 times
      Been thanked: 4893 times

      This is a problem with this, to me, new world of social media. It is awash with negativity and so called trolls who will counter anything said and those who just cannot accept that their opinion can be challenged and they might just be wrong. There’s nothing wrong with a contrary opinion and a polite ‘I disagree’ with reasoning on both sides that should be enough and we move on. And that’s the key, just move on.

      Carmen you are a smart cookie and have the strength to push the negativity away. These people aren’t worth the energy to enter into a debate that will not be won. By your comments it makes you angry so is it worth it?

      You know what you want to do and some may say that they disagree with you going for HRT. If it is with concerns to health or your well being then the comments are worth consideration but those you have received are just worthless and opined in some personal  self righteous crusade of their own making.

      Walk away from the negativity in those heels and flash a bit of booty in contempt.

       

      • #664380
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 33
        Replies: 341
        Has thanked: 504 times
        Been thanked: 1982 times

        Hahahahahaha!!!!! I appreciate the kind words and insight as always Angela… But your last sentence, you know me so damn well.  Hahahaha!  That’s exactly what I feel and that’s exactly what I do in adversity!!!!!!!

        I love that last sentence, because that’s so me!  As if hating me ever makes me crawl in the corner and cower… It’s the opposite… I’ll freak’n do more and do it better of whatever you hate me for in the first place.  My booty shorts get shorter, my heels get higher, my thong and ass in plain freakn view.  Hate me more, please, so I can go enjoy grab even more of the attention ya wish was happening to you.  Lmao!!!!!!!!!!

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #664257
      Саманта
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
      Topics: 608
      Replies: 1570
      Has thanked: 9195 times
      Been thanked: 5427 times

      I would not consider Reddit as being or representing the real trans community, if you see what i mean.  Not to say that trans women can’t be catty or mean, but i think you’d have better luck at support if there is a group in your area you could meet with in person (not to mention a site like CDH or TGH)

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664679
        Emily Alt
        Duchess - Annual
        Registered On: August 24, 2019
        Topics: 15
        Replies: 835
        Has thanked: 694 times
        Been thanked: 3906 times

        Agree Sam.  I know several trans women that only post on their profile now.  Too many trolls on the subs – some of them other trans women.  To me, being on Reddit is like being in a 12-step.  Being of service, tough love, and tempering the stinkin’ thinkin’ that pops in my head.  The latter especially.

        CDH & TGH are by go-to’s for real support.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #664259
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 33
        Replies: 341
        Has thanked: 504 times
        Been thanked: 1982 times

        Hi beautiful Sam! Yeah, I do agree. CDH for the win for me when it comes to real topics for sure!

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664256
      Fredrika Jones
      Lady
      Registered On: February 24, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 411
      Has thanked: 502 times
      Been thanked: 1377 times

      What’s that about opinions?
      Kisses,
      Fredrika

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664260
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 33
        Replies: 341
        Has thanked: 504 times
        Been thanked: 1982 times

        Thank you for the kisses… I love kisses 🙂

        1 user thanked author for this post.
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