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  • #651535
    Jessica Charms
    Participant
    Registered On: May 6, 2021
    Topics: 26
    Replies: 138
    Has thanked: 300 times
    Been thanked: 663 times

    So as the title says, I sadly lost my job this week. Now I do want to be clear, it has nothing to do with my crossdressing (oh how I wish, for reasons) honestly I don’t know why I lost my job. All I know is I was feeling so low Tuesday when it happened, I actually wanted to crawl into a hole and just die. Wednesday morning I was digging through my flash drives looking for my resume, and I stumbled across my pictures of myself crossdressed. It made me feel somewhat better, but also worse.

    Better cause I could feel the love I was giving off in the pictures, worse cause I began fearing I’d lose my crossdressing items to either eBay, craigslist, or something to pay bills if I can’t find employment.

    The small comfort I felt really helped a bit, even if I have to purge my womanly belongings, I’ll still have both sides of myself. Even if I’m never able to dress again, I’ll have the memories.

    Life sucks, but if you’re not able to find comfort in your female self, then why does she exist?

Viewing 13 reply threads
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    • #660997
      Jessica Charms
      Lady
      Registered On: May 6, 2021
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 138
      Has thanked: 300 times
      Been thanked: 663 times

      So I thought I would give an update, no job yet. I’ve put out applications left and right, but aside from two call backs which went nowhere. I’m not having the highest of hopes. Plus My one relation let it slip that if I want to keep a roof over my head, I’ll have to come up with around 60K. They made the comment that I’ll need a job and have stable income for at least two months Incase I need a loan. They have been saying about signing the house I’ve been living in over to me, but now it seems I’ll have to pay for it in full.

      So as much as I was hoping I wouldn’t have to, it seems like I’ll have to let Jessica go worse case scenario. I’m hopeful something will change, but the way things seem, it’s looking bleek.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #658930
      Kerri Smith
      Lady
      Registered On: April 22, 2022
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 155
      Has thanked: 106 times
      Been thanked: 776 times

      Jessica,

      I was fired from my job after 36 years of service.  I was an engineer and in the early days I was doing a great job, working on many difficult jobs.  Towards the end, I realized my engineering skills were becoming obsolete and I was relegated to busy work. I spent more time cruising the internet than working and for that was fired.  The only good news was that I still had earned a pension and am living on it now.  I have no desire to ever work in an office again.  I wish you good luck,

      Kerri

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #653957
      Pumped
      Lady
      Registered On: November 22, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 147
      Has thanked: 4 times
      Been thanked: 501 times

      I have been fired three times in my life. The first was devastating, the second and third where a relief! Even after the last one I had people begging me to come work for them.

      Don’t let it get you down, it is just a thing in life many of use deal with. sharpen up your resume, get out and pound the streets. I still believe the old school way of getting a job, walking into business and applying is much better than answering online want adds.

      I have been retired for over a year and had a stranger I meet in a tools store start to interview me for a job. He was practically begging me to come work for him. He was commenting that all the kids want to do is be on their cell phones, and about that time mine rang and I waved it at him and said I understand and answered my phone.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #658866
        Jessica Charms
        Lady
        Registered On: May 6, 2021
        Topics: 26
        Replies: 138
        Has thanked: 300 times
        Been thanked: 663 times

        Thanks, sadly a lot of the places I’ve applied require applications online since they send them to the main headquarters for final approval. I’ve been hitting road block after road block since they are concerned why I was let go after three weeks at my last job. Explaining that has become tiring.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #658928
          Eileen Bach
          Baroness
          Registered On: February 27, 2021
          Topics: 2
          Replies: 385
          Has thanked: 200 times
          Been thanked: 1540 times

          All job applications these days are online. If you can’t fill out the form completely, no one will call you. A resume can be added along with the application. If you can bullet point experience, goals, and previous employment on one page, all the better. Unemployment offices usually can help you condense a resume to the one-page goal. Of all the resumes received, you want yours to be in the small stack of prospective candidates.

          As for reasons for leaving, you’ll have to be inventive. Like explaining that your skills and their job requirements were not a good match, and the position was terminated by mutual agreement. Unless there is a termination letter, your word against theirs.

          You haven’t mentioned yet your area of expertise, unless I missed that. It might be helpful for those giving advice.

          Eileen

           

          2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #659081
            Jessica Charms
            Lady
            Registered On: May 6, 2021
            Topics: 26
            Replies: 138
            Has thanked: 300 times
            Been thanked: 663 times

            That’s true, plus indeed has been a huge help as I can apply to a lot of jobs with the resume I set up on there as well. As for my physical copy, I have always kept it to one page (really glad I have some designing skills).

            My area of expertise is mostly computers, I have an associates degree in website design, can trouble shoot most common computer problems quickly, and have some designing and admin experience from the admin work I do at the local volunteer fire company.

            The problem is that for a little over 5 1/2 years I stocked shelves for a small retail store. While I’ll probably end up getting back into that (I wanted out cause I was seeing the trend of physical retail slowly dying unless it’s a huge chain or good location) I really want something more in my wheelhouse.

            I have been working on some designs to sell on Etsy to make some income until I find something else. It just that with this being the first job I was let go from, my already low confidence hit rock bottom. While I do tend to see it come back up, it has been getting kicked back down again and again lately.

            As for unemployment, I didn’t qualify for it. After jumping through the hoops for my state, they said no since I usually don’t sign my middle name on everything, and it was on my driver’s license. When I verified (literally on a video chat) they explained that since the middle name was absent they couldn’t verify.

            The person I spoke with was nice, they even explained to me that even if I was verified, since I wasn’t employed for 30days, I wouldn’t have qualified. I figured this since they let me go on day 16 of my employment.

            1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #661236
            Eileen Bach
            Baroness
            Registered On: February 27, 2021
            Topics: 2
            Replies: 385
            Has thanked: 200 times
            Been thanked: 1540 times

            I think the State of PA might be giving you the runaround. Identity verification is done by SS# and location. Since your signature matches regardless of middle initial, they’re looking for excuses to not make payments.

            If employed less than 30 days, the previous employer is hit for benefits. Sounds like you left that job voluntarily, then you’re screwed.

            Expand beyond Indeed. Many small business have a terrible on-line presence. Most have no idea how to improve and afraid of the cost. Freelance market your skills.

            Eileen

            1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #651943
      Jessica Charms
      Lady
      Registered On: May 6, 2021
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 138
      Has thanked: 300 times
      Been thanked: 663 times

      Hey everyone, thanks so much for the replies. I’m not going to lie, reading them really made me feel good. I thought I would give an update of sorts. I tried filing for unemployment the next day (Wednesday) I was denied. I only had this job for a grand total of 15 days, but am getting paid for 16 as I was let go about 75 mins(and hour and 15 mins) into the 16th day. So after jumping through the hoops to verify myself to unemployment, they denied me as I didn’t have the time required to qualify.

      I have put applications out, indeed is a great help as I can quickly apply to jobs, and have my resume ready to go. Even the assessment tests I’ve been taking over the years is helpful. Though nothing yet.

      I’ve looked into a couple of passive income ideas to help while I look for something. Digital downloads on Etsy, and shirts on spring. Though as with a lot of my other ideas, these aren’t working out so well, and probably won’t amount to much. Well the shirts aren’t, haven’t even started Etsy yet.

      I’m hoping I can find something I can do from home, mostly since there is only one car, it belongs to my mom, and she needs it too. Granted she’s not employed either, but I have used it for the last year, and she only had access to it for two days out of the week and that’s just not fair to her.

      My confidence is still pretty much shot, I have NO idea what I did wrong and it is making me second guess a lot of my decisions now. I won’t lie, I am scared that I won’t be able to find anything that will help with the bills, and wind up living out of the car. In fact it’s a good 70% of my dreams at night right now.

      Like I said, thank you all so much for your replies, it really does mean a whole lot.

      I’ll keep everyone posted.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #651806
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 385
      Has thanked: 200 times
      Been thanked: 1540 times

      Purging to pay bills is not a good idea, those are things you’ll buy back later at a higher price. Besides that, they give you comfort during these rough times.

      Take time to hone your resume, employers can be a lot more picky these days. Meanwhile, find some gig jobs for cash you don’t have to report.

      Eileen

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #653950
        Jessica Charms
        Lady
        Registered On: May 6, 2021
        Topics: 26
        Replies: 138
        Has thanked: 300 times
        Been thanked: 663 times

        Thanks Eileen, I’ve redone my resume, but I’m still not getting past the application phase for some reason. The few that I have gotten past ended up being either scams, misleading description, or telemarketing where you earn commission.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #651777
      Michelle Skylar
      Lady
      Registered On: March 18, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 216
      Has thanked: 707 times
      Been thanked: 789 times

      Hi Jessica,

      Sorry to hear of your situation. If you haven’t already done so file for unemployment benefits. Laws vary from state to state but they generally favor the employee. If they didn’t give you a valid reason for letting you go, they probably don’t have one which means you should qualify.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #651677
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 602
      Has thanked: 2215 times
      Been thanked: 2809 times

      After my 4 yrs in military and a year in college (no degree yet) heres my work record for full time jobs.

      Quit after 1 year for better offer.

      Quit after 1 year fo better offer.

      Terminated after 4 years failure to continue meeting certifications.

      Finished degree in 1 year

      Quit after 13 years because I despised my new boss after reorganization.

      Terminated after 3 months as we both agreed it wasnt working out.

      Got new job in 5 days (throurgh friend contact that lasted 11 years.

      Laid off in great recession and found 6 month job after 8 weeks

      Was unemployed for about 2 years.

      Found last full time job and worked for 18 months. but after moving to less expensive place the drive was too much and quit and retired.

      So you see, each job loss some good some bad led to a new opportunity. most better but some so-so. More often than not each time a job ended my goal was to put it behind me and get out and do whatever to get a better one.

      Just stay positive (okay grieve  for a moment it can be needed) but refocus and rededicate. I dont know you personally but the fact you’re here and sharing tells me you’re a good person and worthy of any job you may qualify for. Keep at it and I do hope for the best for you.

      Hugs ChloeC

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #651654
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 95
      Replies: 5392
      Has thanked: 7464 times
      Been thanked: 13863 times

      Hi Jessica,

      So sorry to hear you lost your job.  As others have said something will turn up so make finding a new job your job.  Hope you won’t have to sell off your wardrobe to pay the bills.  Hope that you can receive unemployment benefits while job hunting.

      Alice

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #651567
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 58
      Replies: 1019
      Has thanked: 2386 times
      Been thanked: 4668 times

      So sorry to hear you lost your job, Jessica. As has already been said here hang in there keep trying, something will open up. Hope so much you are able to keep your wardrobe with the comfort you get when dressed.
      Good Luch!!
      Cassie

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #651565
      Dianna Rose
      Lady
      Registered On: August 18, 2019
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 1106
      Has thanked: 1967 times
      Been thanked: 3870 times

      Best of luck to you, Jessica.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #651564
      Teri Linnealis
      Lady
      Registered On: January 28, 2022
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 89
      Has thanked: 221 times
      Been thanked: 428 times

      Jessica- I have lost or changed jobs on many occasions. Each and every time a new door opened it turned out to be something better. There’s always questions on why, but move forward, get a new attitude  and go kick some butt. Who knows maybe your next job will allow you to dress like the girl you want to be. Good Luck, TERI

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #651557
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1148
      Has thanked: 4347 times
      Been thanked: 5133 times

      So sorry to hear about your circumstances. Hopefully you will find another job without having to sell your clothes. At least you are taking comfort to dress more, take the time to update the resumee and be positive. Fingers firmly crossed for you.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #651543
      Natalie Jones
      Lady
      Registered On: September 20, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 111
      Has thanked: 353 times
      Been thanked: 551 times

      Jessica,

      So sorry to hear you lost your job. With everything we’ve all been through the last several years this just seems like piling on . I’ve purged and then realized what a mistake it was not long after. But having to sell your favorite clothes is a different thing all together.
      just know that many of us gal’s are thinking about you and wishing for the best. Remember when one door closes another one opens up!
      best of luck sweetie!

      Natalie 💋💋💋

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #651542
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 1502
      Has thanked: 9679 times
      Been thanked: 7355 times

      Hi Jessica.

      So sorry you lost your job. Try to keep your spirits up because companies are hiring everywhere. You didn’t say what field you worked in but if you don’t have quick results in your old field then you have the opportunity to change careers into something maybe more lucrative… idk.

      Its so sad when a girl has to sell her dresses to pay bills but hold onto what you have. Dressing brings comfort to many of us and with more time between jobs you should have more time to dress which should brighten your day and soften your outlook. Get your girl on!

      Good luck and let us know how it goes.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
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