- This topic has 15 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks ago by .
I’ve been a crossdresser and closeted mermaid since early puberty. I’d get an old pair of pants with one leg torn and get into them mermaid style, practicing my swimming technique.
Girls fascinated me by how different they were from boys. They were so lucky, for example, to be able to dress up for Halloween as various fantasy creatures. Again, I’m attracted to mermaids. There’s a community who have tails custom made. I, myself, have a $2,500 anatomically accurate dolphin tail. Haven’t had an opportunity to swim in it yet 😢
I was also attracted to women with supernatural abilities on television. There’s something so beautiful about them.
Nearly all my crossdressing had been imaginary until my mom’s death in 2018. I did sew a female Starfleet uniform and kept it in my closet. In the final years of her life, I had a bodysuit and some small items tucked away.
Now that I live alone, I saw an opportunity to really see how close I can be to passing as a real woman. I don’t want to be a drag queen; I want those creative juices to let me see how close I can get. I feel an urge to become a woman, but I don’t want the surgery.
So, it came time to choose a name. The top candidates were Lisa, Kathy (because of the association with sexy cats), but I chose to name myself after the supernatural wife on Bewitched. She dressed pretty fashionably. She seemed quite feminine. Plus, there’s the supernatural aspect.
As I’ve been practicing crossdressing, improving bit by bit, I’ve felt an urge to get into a yoga routine. Another one of my fascinations is with contortion. There’s the benefit of healthy fitness.
The bravest thing I’ve done so far was in the past year when I drove to the mall. I had an appointment for a Sephora makeup session. Walking back down those hallways afterwards took guts.
Conversation doesn’t just mean physical body and dress. I’ve studied some differences in speech and the way women perceive the world or approach dilemmas. I want someday to be able to switch mentally into womanhood as I dress up.
As I became more comfortable talking with my therapist, it seemed that finally here was someone with whom I could share this. In a video session, I appeared dressed up. She remarked how broad my smile had been. Partly, I was smiling just because women tend to smile more often. She said that, beyond crossdressing, I seemed to actually be smiling more genuinely. Well, this was an excuse… an endorsement. She wanted me to write about how it feels to be Samantha. I already had a pink pen that came with my diary. I wrote a few entries in my notebook about it. Might as well utilize the therapeutic nature of crossdressing.
Now, one of my long term goals is speaking in a woman’s voice. Halloween is some months away. Maybe I can become so close in “passing” that nobody will know. Until then, I’m improving bit by bit.
Total of 22 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.