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    • #488017
      Bettylou Cox
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 20
      Replies: 2066
      Has thanked: 4084 times
      Been thanked: 7386 times

      Hi Christi,

      I never felt shame about my Dressing, because I knew in my heart I was doing nothing wrong. Embarrassment? Oh, yes! Because I knew that so many people have a bad opinion of CDs, and I am none of those things which they believe. Also, I didn’t understand why I had such a strong need to wear ladies’ clothing as present as a girl. Well, time and shared experiences with the ladies here on CDH have changed that. I now know that there are many, many others just like me; and they are good people who just happen to share this need. Also, I have learned to accept and embrace this feminine part of my nature. With 20/20 hindsight, I can see that from childhood, my brain was “wired” more like that of a girl than a boy – which is why I was such a misfit, and a generally unhappy person. No longer. Bettylou is who I really am, whether I’m presenting as her, or as my male self for the family and our church friends.

      You/we are Different from the majority; that does NOT mean we are bad, or sick, or anything else – just Different, and it’s OK. Please don’t let it weigh you down.

      Hugs,
      Bettylou

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #487886
      Michelle Trott
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 7, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 119
      Has thanked: 272 times
      Been thanked: 477 times

      Hi Christi I think that is the same journey many of us have experienced. I used to feel the same as you. Now I have embraced it. I is part of who I am. Not that I complicate my life by being fully out. I think more of a issue is the fact that people I don’t know care how I dress. I see a lot of people who I don’t understand why they dress like they do. But I don’t care and neither should they. You can feel embarrassed if you want. But you should let go of any shame. There is nothing about how you choose awwto dress that should cause you any shame. So pucker up and go get dressed if that’s what you want.
      .

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #487860
      MelanieElizabeth
      Lady
      Registered On: January 9, 2021
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 118
      Has thanked: 251 times
      Been thanked: 649 times

      Hi Christi. I have felt shame about dressing as well.  Dressing used be a roller coaster to me.  I remember being disgusted with myself while dressed I took the clothes off and swore I wasn’t going to do it again. Afterward wondering why did I do that, why did I like it, telling myself that I don’t need to do that, I’m not one of those people. A couple days later the urge came back and the scenario would repeat. As the years past the guilt has lifted with the realization that it was a part me and it wasn’t going to go away. Why be guilty about an activity that doesn’t hurt anyone. I think it’s our upbringing as males we are taught from a young age how to act and feel. Any deviation from those feeling and behaviors is frowned upon by some even sometimes by ourselves.

    • #487816
      Gwyneth
      Lady
      Registered On: January 21, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 58
      Has thanked: 797 times
      Been thanked: 199 times

      Just my $.02.

      I think we all have a few more than just 2 sides. The person at work. Then the one at home. The coach. The parent. The spouse. The neighbor.

      It’s not a small stretch to consider changing genders even if its only for appearance. The shame – it comes from a conscience – some of it taught, some instinctive.

      Everybody has something in their life they wish they could or should handle differently. Some more easily than others. So far (may seem small and silly to some of you) just holding lipstick to your lips brings on terror. Am I ready to jump into this rabbit hole?

      Any shame dwindles as we continue the act. The dwindling can even get scary.

      Gwyn

      • #487876
        Christi Kepoleti
        Lady
        Registered On: May 3, 2021
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 8
        Has thanked: 40 times
        Been thanked: 55 times

        Thanks for lending some perspective. It’s wild how one of those sides can be at odds with another.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #487805
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 103
      Has thanked: 112 times
      Been thanked: 483 times

      Early in my life I felt the shame about what I was doing. I would be dressing in private and felt the elation of dressing then I thought ‘What am I doing’ and quickly change back.

      I think it is a stage where we have our doubts. If you know this is for you just press ahead and you will become stronger.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #487676
      Trisha Lilly Hibbert
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 8, 2020
      Topics: 35
      Replies: 654
      Has thanked: 3105 times
      Been thanked: 2426 times

      Hi honey, there’s definitely two versions are of me. The happy one in a dress and the one shy one who was scared to live,who wore the same blue jeans and t-shirts everyday.  There no shame in having feminine feeling and you only live once so enjoy it.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #487673
      Leslie Berri
      Lady
      Registered On: March 9, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 8
      Has thanked: 65 times
      Been thanked: 37 times

      Sorry I cannot give you reassurance but I can say that I feel the same way. I flip back and forth, sometimes gradually, sometimes suddenly. Just know you are not alone.
      leslie❤️

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #487450
      Megan Kelly
      Lady
      Registered On: April 15, 2021
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 7
      Has thanked: 37 times
      Been thanked: 26 times

      Christi, I used to be in the same position you mention.  I’m growing older and enjoying my feminine side more and more.  Learning to dress better, applying make-up more effectively and reading about everyone else’s experiences has given me great joy.  I enjoy my two versions, especially how different they are.  The shame is fading away.  ❤️❤️Megan

    • #487439
      Tina Q
      Lady
      Registered On: April 14, 2021
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 20
      Has thanked: 58 times
      Been thanked: 109 times

      I have always said that I am the same person everywhere I go. I can safely say that I am not. There is public me and private me. Most likely that will not change.

      Shame comes from what you feel others think about you. I got good advice from a salesperson at Penningtons. What other people think is their problem not yours.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #487430
      Stephanie Bass
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 1571
      Has thanked: 17396 times
      Been thanked: 5207 times

      Hi again Christi No need to feel any shame here as we have all delt with this feeling .. You were born with Christi in your heart just didnt know how or why till the feelings got stronger as she wanted out for a spell she will not go away she is part of you so embrace her and enjoy her ..

      Stephanie

    • #487426
      sarasue olson
      Lady
      Registered On: October 7, 2018
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 203
      Has thanked: 600 times
      Been thanked: 1010 times

      Being A crossdresser for almost seventy years has brought me much joy and made me  A much better person. I think if I hadn’t started my life would have become A terrible  mess, not the happy successful one I have enjoyed all these years.  No there is nothing wrong enjoying your fem side we all have it but only the lucky ones like us  know what  pleasure it can bring. So go ahead buy some new panties and bras be happy and enjoy the good life . Don’t punish yourself for being you.

    • #487419
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: June 26, 2019
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 279
      Has thanked: 998 times
      Been thanked: 1203 times

      Hey Christi, relax, I can recall having those very same emotions and feelings earlier in my CD journey.  Your female self is blossoming, and it is a beautiful part of yourself you are experiencing.   Once I came completely out of the closet some people, very few, thought I had “ruined” my life.  No Way!  I was just starting to live my life to the fullest!

      You are in the right place.  Ask away any questions you have.  Lots of love and support here.

       

      Peggy Sue

    • #487411
      Trisha Smith
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 24, 2020
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 167
      Has thanked: 74 times
      Been thanked: 836 times

      If crossdressing leads ruination then what a great way to go. But seriously it takes time to come to grips with one self. And that is all aspects of ones self. Being a CD is no different. We all go thru it. We all deal with it in different ways.  And eventually we all get thru it. And once you do you will find a happiness that no one can describe.

      Head up shoulders back sis. Be proud of who you are. We are here for you.

       

      💋

      Trisha.

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