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I occasionally feel shame about crossdressing. I either feel shame or elation. There’s no middle ground. At times I would go as far as to say crossdressing has given me a renewed sense of purpose. It gave me some hope at a time where I’ve been struggling with just getting out of bed. But there are other times when I become convinced that crossdressing will lead to my ruin.
I don’t know what to make of this. Maybe I just want some reassurance that I’m not doing anything wrong.
If crossdressing leads ruination then what a great way to go. But seriously it takes time to come to grips with one self. And that is all aspects of ones self. Being a CD is no different. We all go thru it. We all deal with it in different ways. And eventually we all get thru it. And once you do you will find a happiness that no one can describe.
Head up shoulders back sis. Be proud of who you are. We are here for you.
💋
Trisha.
Hey Christi, relax, I can recall having those very same emotions and feelings earlier in my CD journey. Your female self is blossoming, and it is a beautiful part of yourself you are experiencing. Once I came completely out of the closet some people, very few, thought I had “ruined” my life. No Way! I was just starting to live my life to the fullest!
You are in the right place. Ask away any questions you have. Lots of love and support here.
Peggy Sue
Thanks, I needed to hear that.
Being A crossdresser for almost seventy years has brought me much joy and made me A much better person. I think if I hadn’t started my life would have become A terrible mess, not the happy successful one I have enjoyed all these years. No there is nothing wrong enjoying your fem side we all have it but only the lucky ones like us know what pleasure it can bring. So go ahead buy some new panties and bras be happy and enjoy the good life . Don’t punish yourself for being you.
Wow. So I may be fretting over something that could bring more positivity to my life. Hadn’t thought of that possibility. Idk why
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I have always said that I am the same person everywhere I go. I can safely say that I am not. There is public me and private me. Most likely that will not change.
Shame comes from what you feel others think about you. I got good advice from a salesperson at Penningtons. What other people think is their problem not yours.
Christi, I used to be in the same position you mention. I’m growing older and enjoying my feminine side more and more. Learning to dress better, applying make-up more effectively and reading about everyone else’s experiences has given me great joy. I enjoy my two versions, especially how different they are. The shame is fading away. ❤️❤️Megan
Sorry I cannot give you reassurance but I can say that I feel the same way. I flip back and forth, sometimes gradually, sometimes suddenly. Just know you are not alone.
leslie❤️Early in my life I felt the shame about what I was doing. I would be dressing in private and felt the elation of dressing then I thought ‘What am I doing’ and quickly change back.
I think it is a stage where we have our doubts. If you know this is for you just press ahead and you will become stronger.
Just my $.02.
I think we all have a few more than just 2 sides. The person at work. Then the one at home. The coach. The parent. The spouse. The neighbor.
It’s not a small stretch to consider changing genders even if its only for appearance. The shame – it comes from a conscience – some of it taught, some instinctive.
Everybody has something in their life they wish they could or should handle differently. Some more easily than others. So far (may seem small and silly to some of you) just holding lipstick to your lips brings on terror. Am I ready to jump into this rabbit hole?
Any shame dwindles as we continue the act. The dwindling can even get scary.
Gwyn
Thanks for lending some perspective. It’s wild how one of those sides can be at odds with another.
Hi Christi. I have felt shame about dressing as well. Dressing used be a roller coaster to me. I remember being disgusted with myself while dressed I took the clothes off and swore I wasn’t going to do it again. Afterward wondering why did I do that, why did I like it, telling myself that I don’t need to do that, I’m not one of those people. A couple days later the urge came back and the scenario would repeat. As the years past the guilt has lifted with the realization that it was a part me and it wasn’t going to go away. Why be guilty about an activity that doesn’t hurt anyone. I think it’s our upbringing as males we are taught from a young age how to act and feel. Any deviation from those feeling and behaviors is frowned upon by some even sometimes by ourselves.
Hi Christi I think that is the same journey many of us have experienced. I used to feel the same as you. Now I have embraced it. I is part of who I am. Not that I complicate my life by being fully out. I think more of a issue is the fact that people I don’t know care how I dress. I see a lot of people who I don’t understand why they dress like they do. But I don’t care and neither should they. You can feel embarrassed if you want. But you should let go of any shame. There is nothing about how you choose awwto dress that should cause you any shame. So pucker up and go get dressed if that’s what you want.
.Hi Christi,
I never felt shame about my Dressing, because I knew in my heart I was doing nothing wrong. Embarrassment? Oh, yes! Because I knew that so many people have a bad opinion of CDs, and I am none of those things which they believe. Also, I didn’t understand why I had such a strong need to wear ladies’ clothing as present as a girl. Well, time and shared experiences with the ladies here on CDH have changed that. I now know that there are many, many others just like me; and they are good people who just happen to share this need. Also, I have learned to accept and embrace this feminine part of my nature. With 20/20 hindsight, I can see that from childhood, my brain was “wired” more like that of a girl than a boy – which is why I was such a misfit, and a generally unhappy person. No longer. Bettylou is who I really am, whether I’m presenting as her, or as my male self for the family and our church friends.
You/we are Different from the majority; that does NOT mean we are bad, or sick, or anything else – just Different, and it’s OK. Please don’t let it weigh you down.
Hugs,
Bettylou
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