- May 4, 2021 at 8:00 pm #488025DonnaParticipantRegistered On: January 17, 2021Topics: 59Replies: 587Has thanked: 4146 timesBeen thanked: 2305 times
If could travel back in time and tell yourself at any age may it be young or younger what would you tell self.
For me would tell myself that follow your dreams no matter what one day can be anything like. Knowing would say to seek help and transition earlier then present age.
Total of 24 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- May 6, 2021 at 3:46 am #488468Diane RakersLadyRegistered On: August 18, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 676Has thanked: 1192 timesBeen thanked: 2196 times
My dearest Donna,
I can only answer for myself, of course. If I was 35 today, and happily divorced, I don’t know what I would do. In 1983 there was no Donna, no CDH, no online shopping, no Amazon.
The best thing about CDH is knowing that one isn’t alone in all of this.
I know that the process of finding out who I am and who I want to be was the culmination of a lifetime. Today is the right time for me.
Thank you, Donna
With loving affections,
- May 6, 2021 at 3:25 pm #488827DonnaLadyRegistered On: January 17, 2021Topics: 59Replies: 587Has thanked: 4146 timesBeen thanked: 2305 times
Actually in 83 was in deep thought on who was and the thought of being different then Think Donna was starting to scratch her self out then took this long for her to break free.
1 user thanked author for this post.
- May 6, 2021 at 2:32 am #488451Stevie SteinerAmbassadorRegistered On: June 11, 2020Topics: 49Replies: 1165Has thanked: 5403 timesBeen thanked: 6019 times
I think I would go back to a time in my mid 20’s – after I was being outed in a court of law – and seek the help I needed dealing with my gender issue instead of just withdrawing into myself. That was the time I may have changed things…. but I just didnt scream for help loud enough.
- May 6, 2021 at 1:02 am #488439Alisha AlexLadyRegistered On: November 28, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 67Has thanked: 167 timesBeen thanked: 262 times
I’m not that old. I’m getting to my late 30’s. I started to show interest in women clothing and make up since I was 6. I dressed up fully at the age of 19. I kept that habit of discreet crossdressing for a few years after that until I went on a long period of purge and denial for reasons I had to justify for myself. But during that time I was suffering with depression and frequent stress. Until a couple of years ago I had a lipstick on my lips and all these feminine feelings were back and they were strong this time. I realized this was what I needed to make me happy. to never kill the female inside of me. I’m starting to embrace Alisha and get prepared to present her in full and let her have her own life and world. It is a wake up call and I have to answer it.
- May 5, 2021 at 3:43 pm #488309Jamie KaneBaronessRegistered On: November 9, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 58Has thanked: 205 timesBeen thanked: 202 times
I would go back and tell myself to stop judging people. You’re not gay, but it’s ok for others to be. Dressing doesn’t mean you are. Be open and love everyone, because everyone deserves to be loved.
- May 5, 2021 at 3:50 pm #488311LadyRegistered On: January 17, 2021Topics: 59Replies: 587Has thanked: 4146 timesBeen thanked: 2305 times
People shouldn’t judge others Shame how some people are not educated. Remember having some faults back in younger years but all changed and don’t judge anyone. Suppose Judge myself back then because felt different and did things different growing up. Then normal boys did.
- May 5, 2021 at 3:26 pm #488307
- May 5, 2021 at 3:00 pm #488296MelanieElizabethLadyRegistered On: January 9, 2021Topics: 10Replies: 121Has thanked: 259 timesBeen thanked: 671 times
I think I would have told him to explore his desires and be honest with himself about what he learns. After learning what you are (whatever that is) be honest with loved ones as early as possible. Like an early poster said, if they love you they will accept you no matter what. Simple things that would make anyone’s life better including young me
- May 5, 2021 at 2:19 pm #488291Rozalyne RichardsLadyRegistered On: March 10, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 578Has thanked: 1007 timesBeen thanked: 1953 times
If i could go back in time i would tell my younger self if you are going to get married then you have to tell your wife all about your crossdressing, no if’s or but’s just tell her everything,
This is the one big secret I’ve been keeping from her all my life,
I’m not sure how she would react to my confession but i would respect her decision x
Hugs Roz xxxxx
- May 5, 2021 at 2:11 pm #488285Robyn DrakeDuchessRegistered On: March 19, 2019Topics: 50Replies: 364Has thanked: 464 timesBeen thanked: 1008 times
- May 5, 2021 at 1:56 pm #488281Katie TimeDuchessRegistered On: April 3, 2021Topics: 18Replies: 118Has thanked: 736 timesBeen thanked: 653 times
One time years ago, I’d only been married for a year or so my wife came home early and found me with makeup on and her bra and panties. We worked through it but I lied and told her it was just a thing and I wouldn’t do it anymore. I wish today that I’d been truthful and didn’t hide it from her for the next 35 years. 💕💋 Katie
- May 5, 2021 at 1:43 pm #488278Sarah Du HessisseLadyRegistered On: September 16, 2020Topics: 21Replies: 503Has thanked: 3121 timesBeen thanked: 1869 times
- May 5, 2021 at 2:04 pm #488283LadyRegistered On: January 17, 2021Topics: 59Replies: 587Has thanked: 4146 timesBeen thanked: 2305 times
- May 5, 2021 at 1:37 pm #488274patty williamsLadyRegistered On: January 19, 2019Topics: 72Replies: 1364Has thanked: 2213 timesBeen thanked: 4859 times
I would have brought my younger self a pair of high heels panties and a bra and told my younger self to try these on.
That’s all it would have took.
Hello Pink Fog
Talk about the best Ghost of Pink Fog future.lol😄
- May 5, 2021 at 10:13 am #488229
- May 5, 2021 at 10:12 am #488228Lorna MacDuffLadyRegistered On: April 30, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 4Has thanked: 43 timesBeen thanked: 34 times
- May 10, 2021 at 4:49 pm #490557
- May 5, 2021 at 7:20 am #488184MacKenzie AlexandraAmbassadorRegistered On: May 20, 2016Topics: 45Replies: 570Has thanked: 145 timesBeen thanked: 1273 times
I’m not sure that I would tell my younger self to do anything different. I am, however, curious how my life may have different had I been honest with myself and my parents when I was outed as a teenager. Yet, I would not want to lose the life that I have now, especially my wife.
- May 5, 2021 at 7:19 am #488183BethDuchessRegistered On: May 6, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 134Has thanked: 311 timesBeen thanked: 495 times
I wouldn’t be too specific, or I would have missed out on a lot of joy and also sorrow, that has shaped who I am today, for better or worse. I would say to eat much healthier, drink less, exercise, love harder, help others more often, and never take anything for granted. Never be afraid to be your true self, even though it will cost you some friends, but then they weren’t friends anyway.
- May 5, 2021 at 7:03 am #488178Kate DawnLadyRegistered On: March 11, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 23Has thanked: 14 timesBeen thanked: 118 times
Awesome subject. I would tell myself to, simply, be who you are. I spent a lot of time ignoring who I was, and I wish I could tell myself that there’s nothing wrong with being yourself and staying true to what makes you, you.
- May 5, 2021 at 6:49 am #488175Laura Jane MooreLadyRegistered On: July 10, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 136Has thanked: 837 timesBeen thanked: 567 times
Hah…. if I only knew then what I know now
I would tell myself at an early age that I am OK…. that my thoughts, desires, aspirations are mine and are as important and as admirable as any one else’s.
- May 5, 2021 at 6:44 am #488172Stephanie KennedyPrincessRegistered On: March 15, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 716Has thanked: 4500 timesBeen thanked: 2723 times
Hi Donna What a great thought provoking topic. I defiantly would tell the young Stephanie that you are not alone there are others who have the same feelings and are investing in two great stocks. I would let young Stephanie know she had her choice. She could be a very rich young woman filled with all the trappings of beauty and pretty clothes that money could buy or she could be blessed with five beautiful grand children and a lovely wife that accepts her no matter how she is packaged. I believe Stephanie would start to wounder who is this special woman that is going to make her life have real meaning.
- May 5, 2021 at 6:33 am #488164Jin CrockerLadyRegistered On: November 15, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 338Has thanked: 27 timesBeen thanked: 939 times
- May 5, 2021 at 1:02 pm #488268
- May 5, 2021 at 6:29 am #488163Wendy SwiftLadyRegistered On: May 11, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 450Has thanked: 371 timesBeen thanked: 1930 times
The first thing I would say to my younger self is take care of yourself and heed all medical advice !! Having been thru a gazillion hospital appts, and discouraging medical news, it all started by me not listening and acting on doctor’s advice. I wouldn’t be in a state today if I had done so.
Secondly, take education seriously. Having been booted from post secondary, I didn’t take education or schooling seriously and wound up with a low paying job that was labour intensive. Never again.
Third, invest in a job that has a good pension wisely. I didn’t like the boss in one job, so I decided to bail. However, the institution had really good benefits and pension. I should have stayed or at least found something in another area at the same institution.
As for CDing, come out as Wendy to my wife much earlier in the relationship. That would have spared me from purging quite abit of vintage clothing like 80s – 90s aerobic wear and one piece swimsuits.
- May 5, 2021 at 6:03 am #488154Staci GreenLadyRegistered On: March 2, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 23Has thanked: 117 timesBeen thanked: 91 times
I would reassure young Staci that the world will definitely become more accepting in time and more tolerant with all the different aspects of human sexuality and choices of lifestyle… that the pressure to be the best “man” possible in every situation as well as the great married husband is over rated and not true to ones own self, certainly not hers… she needs to focus on simply being rhe best person she can be and help others along the way with the caring and love in her tres grande coeur.
- May 5, 2021 at 5:45 am #488152Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 66Replies: 1374Has thanked: 4886 timesBeen thanked: 7524 times
Maybe not tell myself…..but travel back to 9 months before I was born….grab my mum and dad by the scruff of their necks, give them a good shake ….and say ” try harder for a bloody girl” !!!!!
Smiles, grace xx
- May 5, 2021 at 5:16 am #488142JillianWLadyRegistered On: October 13, 2019Topics: 6Replies: 141Has thanked: 284 timesBeen thanked: 537 times
I would have told my 20 year self to go ahead and transition.
Live as a woman!
I was convinced that my desire to be feminine was a fetish and I’d get over it … HA!
I have had a great life with a wonderful family so I’m happy … but … during the quiet times I always wonder.
- May 5, 2021 at 5:14 am #488139Debbie JLadyRegistered On: April 24, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 66Has thanked: 172 timesBeen thanked: 333 times
I would tell myself to take advantage of some scary opportunities. I was just telling a friend here about a time I was admiring a skirt in a Goodwill when I was much younger. A cute salesgirl in any otherwise empty store came over and said “Do you want to try it on?” I chickened out and told her that I was looking for my girlfriend; I didn’t have one at the time. I’ve often wished that I had taken her up on her offer.
- May 5, 2021 at 5:13 am #488138
- May 5, 2021 at 5:09 am #488135Ria FreichukLadyRegistered On: June 6, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 108Has thanked: 302 timesBeen thanked: 458 times
- May 5, 2021 at 4:46 am #488129Birel GalanodelLadyRegistered On: May 3, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 98Has thanked: 278 timesBeen thanked: 453 times
Wow… I feel like this question really deserves an essay rather than short answer. There are so many things, but I think I’ll just shorten it to this. I would tell myself that the patriarchal, homophobic, catholic society I grew up in is BS. People are people, and should all be treated with the same love and respect, regardless of sex, gender, race, country of origin, religion (or lack of religion), how you dress, where you live, and any other difference you can think of. Though most people deny it, I think we all have implicit biases that we need to actively work to overcome.
I would tell myself, it’s ok for people to be whoever they feel like they are, love whoever they love, dress however they feel like dressing, and express whatever emotions they are feeling. Younger me shouldn’t have been ashamed of my feminine side, or tried to act more masculine than I really felt. I should have expressed myself openly, as I felt I was. Be yourself, and the people who accept you are the ones who are truly the important ones in life.
- May 5, 2021 at 4:06 am #488115Patty PhoseDuchessRegistered On: May 7, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 1609Has thanked: 1202 timesBeen thanked: 4328 times
- May 5, 2021 at 6:29 am #488162
- May 5, 2021 at 2:11 am #488080Ashley KonnersLadyRegistered On: August 15, 2020Topics: 16Replies: 242Has thanked: 908 timesBeen thanked: 922 times
For me I would go back and tell my wife many years sooner that I was a crossdresser. Maybe a different result then her support and understanding as she does now but hopefully it would have been the same and I would be that much more ahead in my journey!
- May 5, 2021 at 2:05 am #488076Regine RichPrincessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 32Replies: 892Has thanked: 9027 timesBeen thanked: 3919 times
- May 5, 2021 at 1:48 am #488074Eva KellyDuchessRegistered On: March 1, 2021Topics: 7Replies: 260Has thanked: 2856 timesBeen thanked: 1240 times
- May 4, 2021 at 10:50 pm #488056Paula FDuchessRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 14Replies: 1081Has thanked: 14614 timesBeen thanked: 4281 times
The most important thing I would tell a 10 year old Paul(a), would be to be honest with yourself first and then tell your mom about Paula.
I have had some serious heart to heart talks with my sister, and she has confessed that she wishes sometimes that she had known because she liked having me as little sister when we were part of the Barbie group.
She does believe that mom would have been very supportive of Paula had she known, since she was okay with me being gay, though I never talked to her about that either. But she did figure it out.
The third thing I would advise is to follow through with the transition the very first time it presents itself, that she would be much happier in the long run. Not that I am unhappy now, but things would have gone very different otherwise, I think.
NO regrets though.
- This reply was modified 1 week ago by Paula F.
- May 4, 2021 at 9:37 pm #488043Octavia LongDuchessRegistered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 38Replies: 111Has thanked: 685 timesBeen thanked: 785 times
Donna I would probably have told myself to take better care of my body. I would not have listened but I really wish that I was not so reckless in my youth. The pride that I got from the sports still remain but the pain is getting worse the older I get. Broken bones do heal but I can tell when the weather is going to change better than the weather person on tv.
- May 5, 2021 at 5:09 am #488134JillianWLadyRegistered On: October 13, 2019Topics: 6Replies: 141Has thanked: 284 timesBeen thanked: 537 times
I feel ‘ya Octavia.
My orthopedist “official” diagnosis of my knees is “nine miles of bad road”. 👩🏻🦽😀
More importantly I would have told her to watch her eating habits and weight. That beer gut is unhealthy and mighty unattractive in a tight dress.
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