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    • #488468
      Diane Rakers
      Lady
      Registered On: August 18, 2019
      Topics: 4
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      My dearest Donna,

      I can only answer for myself, of course. If I was 35 today, and happily divorced, I don’t know what I would do. In 1983 there was no Donna, no CDH, no online shopping, no Amazon.

      The best thing about CDH is knowing that one isn’t alone in all of this.

      I know that the process of finding out who I am and who I want to be was the culmination of a lifetime. Today is the right time for me.

      Thank you, Donna

      With loving affections,

      Diane

       

       

       

       

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #488827
        Donna
        Lady
        Registered On: January 17, 2021
        Topics: 59
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        Actually in 83 was in deep thought on who was and the thought of being different then Think Donna was starting to scratch her self out then took this long for her to break free.

         

        Hugs

        Donna

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #488451
      Stevie Steiner
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
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      I think I would go back to a time in my mid 20’s – after I was being outed in a court of law –  and seek the help I needed dealing with my gender issue instead of just withdrawing into myself.  That was the time I may have changed things…. but I just didnt scream for help  loud enough.

      Stevie

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    • #488439
      Alisha Alex
      Lady
      Registered On: November 28, 2020
      Topics: 2
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      I’m not that old. I’m getting to my late 30’s. I started to show interest in women clothing and make up since I was 6. I dressed up fully at the age of 19. I kept that habit of discreet crossdressing for a few years after that until I went on a long period of purge and denial for reasons I had to justify for myself. But during that time I was suffering with depression and frequent stress. Until a couple of years ago I had a lipstick on my lips and all these feminine feelings were back and they were strong this time. I realized this was what I needed to make me happy. to never kill the female inside of me. I’m starting to embrace Alisha and get prepared to present her in full and let her have her own life and world. It is a wake up call and I have to answer it.

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    • #488309
      Jamie Kane
      Baroness
      Registered On: November 9, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 58
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      I would go back and tell myself to stop judging people. You’re not gay, but it’s ok for others to be. Dressing doesn’t mean you are. Be open and love everyone, because everyone deserves to be loved.

      • #488311
        Donna
        Lady
        Registered On: January 17, 2021
        Topics: 59
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        People shouldn’t judge others Shame how some  people are not educated. Remember having some faults back in younger years but all changed and don’t judge anyone. Suppose Judge myself back then because felt different and did things different growing up. Then normal boys did.

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    • #488307
      Paula1
      Lady
      Registered On: October 22, 2015
      Topics: 9
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      I would tell my self that it is Ok to to who you want to be and chase your dreams

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488296
      MelanieElizabeth
      Lady
      Registered On: January 9, 2021
      Topics: 10
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      I think I would have told him to explore his desires and be honest with himself about what he learns. After learning what you are (whatever that is) be honest with loved ones as early as possible. Like an early poster said, if they love you they will accept you no matter what. Simple things that would make anyone’s life better including young me

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488291
      Rozalyne Richards
      Lady
      Registered On: March 10, 2018
      Topics: 0
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      Hi Donna,

      If i could go back in time i would tell my younger self if you are going to get married then you have to tell your wife all about your crossdressing, no if’s or but’s just tell her everything,

      This is the one big secret I’ve been keeping from her all my life,

      I’m not sure how she would react to my confession but i would respect her decision x

       

      Hugs Roz xxxxx

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488285
      Robyn Drake
      Duchess
      Registered On: March 19, 2019
      Topics: 50
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      I do talk to my young self quite a lot. And my young self talks to my old self. We get along quite nicely for the most part 😉

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488281
      Katie Time
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 3, 2021
      Topics: 18
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      One time years ago, I’d only been married for a year or so my wife came home early and found me with makeup on and her bra and panties. We worked through it but I lied and told her it was just a thing and I wouldn’t do it anymore. I wish today that I’d been truthful and didn’t hide it from her for the next 35 years. 💕💋 Katie

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488278
      Sarah Du Hessisse
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2020
      Topics: 21
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      Hi Donna excellent question I would come out to all my family at the same time, introduce them all to Sarah and tell them this is who I am like it or lump it.

      Love Sarah xx

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #488283
        Donna
        Lady
        Registered On: January 17, 2021
        Topics: 59
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        You Know Sarah did that when turned 21 as CD but didn’t tell them was transitioning until about 3 years ago. Then took me just 5 months ago to finally do it.  Should have done the woman transition years ago.

        Hugs

        Donna

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        • #488290
          Sarah Du Hessisse
          Lady
          Registered On: September 16, 2020
          Topics: 21
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          Donna well done you that’s great I was looking at your profile picture you look fantastic.

          Best Wishes Love Sarah xx

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          • #488298
            Donna
            Lady
            Registered On: January 17, 2021
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            Thank you Sarah

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    • #488274
      patty williams
      Lady
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 72
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      Hi Donna,

      I would have brought my younger self a pair of high heels panties and a bra and told my younger self to try these on.

      That’s all it would have took.

      Hello Pink Fog

      Talk about the best Ghost of Pink Fog future.lol😄

      Patty

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488229
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 106
      Has thanked: 117 times
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      ‘Just do it’…..

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488228
      Lorna MacDuff
      Lady
      Registered On: April 30, 2021
      Topics: 1
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      Has thanked: 43 times
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      I’d go back and tell myself to buy lots of Microsoft stock right after the IPO. After that, I think Kate Dawn below said it best for me.

      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #490557
        Vecca Senn
        Lady
        Registered On: February 22, 2021
        Topics: 6
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        I second that, and I would buy gold and silver at 90’s prices.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488184
      MacKenzie Alexandra
      Ambassador
      Registered On: May 20, 2016
      Topics: 45
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      I’m not sure that I would tell my younger self to do anything different. I am, however, curious how my life may have different had I been honest with myself and my parents when I was outed as a teenager. Yet, I would not want to lose the life that I have now, especially my wife.

      MacKenzie Alexandra

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #488222
        Donna
        Lady
        Registered On: January 17, 2021
        Topics: 59
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        Never know could change your history for better at this point in time. Many things I think of wish could do over. Knowing things then and now.  Look at the plot line of back to future hehe changed things for the best.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #488297
          MacKenzie Alexandra
          Ambassador
          Registered On: May 20, 2016
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          Perhaps, but I could lose my wife which is a risk that I will not take.

          MacKenzie Alexandra

          2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488183
      Beth
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 6, 2020
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 134
      Has thanked: 311 times
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      I wouldn’t be too specific, or I would have missed out on a lot of joy and also sorrow, that has shaped who I am today, for better or worse. I would say to eat much healthier, drink less, exercise, love harder, help others more often, and never take anything for granted. Never be afraid to be your true self, even though it will cost you some friends, but then they weren’t friends anyway.

    • #488178
      Kate Dawn
      Lady
      Registered On: March 11, 2021
      Topics: 1
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      Awesome subject. I would tell myself to, simply, be who you are. I spent a lot of time ignoring who I was, and I wish I could tell myself that there’s nothing wrong with being yourself and staying true to what makes you, you.

    • #488175
      Laura Jane Moore
      Lady
      Registered On: July 10, 2020
      Topics: 4
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      Hah…. if I only knew then what I know now

      I would tell myself at an early age that I am OK…. that my thoughts, desires, aspirations are mine and are as important and as admirable as any one else’s.

       

    • #488172
      Stephanie Kennedy
      Princess
      Registered On: March 15, 2019
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 716
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      Hi Donna What a great thought provoking topic. I defiantly would tell the young Stephanie that you are not alone there are others who have the same feelings and are investing in two great stocks. I would let young Stephanie know she had her choice. She could be a very rich young woman filled with all the trappings of beauty and pretty clothes that money could buy or she could be blessed with five beautiful grand children and a lovely wife that accepts her no matter how she is packaged. I believe Stephanie would start to wounder who is this special woman that is going to make her life have real meaning.

      Stephanie

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488164
      Jin Crocker
      Lady
      Registered On: November 15, 2019
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 338
      Has thanked: 27 times
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      Self, do NOT sell the ’53 Chevy pickup!!!!!!!!!

      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #488268
        Rachael Rogers
        Duchess
        Registered On: April 10, 2021
        Topics: 8
        Replies: 38
        Has thanked: 147 times
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        Someone said that exact same thing to me last year – same year Chevy truck too. I’ve still got it – for now.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488163
      Wendy Swift
      Lady
      Registered On: May 11, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 450
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      The first thing I would say to my younger self is take care of yourself and heed all medical advice !!  Having been thru a gazillion hospital appts, and discouraging medical news, it all started by me not listening and acting on doctor’s advice.  I wouldn’t be in a state today if I had done so.

      Secondly, take education seriously.  Having been booted from post secondary, I didn’t take education or schooling seriously and wound up with a low paying job that was labour intensive.  Never again.

      Third, invest in a job that has a good pension wisely.  I didn’t like the boss in one job, so I decided to bail.  However, the institution had really good benefits and pension.  I should have stayed or at least found something in another area at the same institution.

      As for CDing, come out as Wendy to my wife much earlier in the relationship.  That would have spared me from purging quite abit of vintage clothing like 80s – 90s aerobic wear and one piece swimsuits.

       

       

       

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    • #488154
      Staci Green
      Lady
      Registered On: March 2, 2018
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 23
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      I would reassure young Staci that the world will definitely become more accepting in time and more tolerant with all the different aspects of human sexuality and choices of lifestyle… that the pressure to be the best “man” possible in every situation as well as the great married husband is over rated and not true to ones own self, certainly not hers… she needs to focus on simply being rhe best person she can be and help others along the way with the caring and love in her tres grande coeur.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488152
      Grace Scarlett
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: February 16, 2021
      Topics: 66
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      Hi Donna….

      Maybe not tell myself…..but travel back to 9 months before I was born….grab my mum and dad by the scruff of their necks, give them a good shake ….and say ” try harder for a bloody girl” !!!!!

      Smiles, grace xx

    • #488142
      JillianW
      Lady
      Registered On: October 13, 2019
      Topics: 6
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      I would have told my 20 year self to go ahead and transition.
      Live as a woman!
      I was convinced that my desire to be feminine was a fetish and I’d get over it … HA!
      I have had a great life with a wonderful family so I’m happy … but … during the quiet times I always wonder.

      Hugs

      Jillian

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488139
      Debbie J
      Lady
      Registered On: April 24, 2019
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 66
      Has thanked: 172 times
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      I would tell myself to take advantage of some scary opportunities. I was just telling a friend here about a time I was admiring a skirt in a Goodwill when I was much younger. A cute salesgirl in any otherwise empty store came over and said “Do you want to try it on?” I chickened out and told her that I was looking for my girlfriend; I didn’t have one at the time. I’ve often wished that I had taken her up on her offer.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488138
      Celeste Starre
      Lady
      Registered On: June 26, 2018
      Topics: 38
      Replies: 957
      Has thanked: 295 times
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      Short answer: Don’t ever get married.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488135
      Ria Freichuk
      Lady
      Registered On: June 6, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 108
      Has thanked: 302 times
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      I would tell myself you need to transition and be who you need to be.

    • #488129
      Birel Galanodel
      Lady
      Registered On: May 3, 2020
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 98
      Has thanked: 278 times
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      Wow… I feel like this question really deserves an essay rather than short answer. There are so many things, but I think I’ll just shorten it to this. I would tell myself that the patriarchal, homophobic, catholic society I grew up in is BS. People are people, and should all be treated with the same love and respect, regardless of  sex, gender, race, country of origin, religion (or lack of religion), how you dress, where you live, and any other difference you can think of. Though most people deny it, I think we all have implicit biases that we need to actively work to overcome.

      I would tell myself, it’s ok for people to be whoever they feel like they are, love whoever they love, dress however they feel like dressing, and express whatever emotions they are feeling. Younger me shouldn’t have been ashamed of my feminine side, or tried to act more masculine than I really felt. I should have expressed myself openly, as I felt I was. Be yourself, and the people who accept you are the ones who are truly the important ones in life.

      Birel

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488115
      Patty Phose
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 7, 2016
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 1609
      Has thanked: 1202 times
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      I wou9ld say buy Amazon and Apple at the IPO.

      • #488162
        Donna
        Lady
        Registered On: January 17, 2021
        Topics: 59
        Replies: 587
        Has thanked: 4146 times
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        Was thinking of that too but to buy bitcoin

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #488080
      Ashley Konners
      Lady
      Registered On: August 15, 2020
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 242
      Has thanked: 908 times
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      For me I would go back and tell my wife many years sooner that I was a crossdresser. Maybe a different result then her support and understanding as she does now but hopefully it would have been the same and I would be that much more ahead in my journey!

    • #488076
      Regine Rich
      Princess
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 32
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      Has thanked: 9027 times
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      lol, I would tell myself getting old sucks, so enjoy every moment, and be true to Thy self
      Hugs, Regi👩💕

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #488074
      Eva Kelly
      Duchess
      Registered On: March 1, 2021
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 260
      Has thanked: 2856 times
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      I would tell myself “Do not live your life to make everyone else happy. Think about what you really want to do in life. Live your life on your own terms.”

      Eva

    • #488056
      Paula F
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 1081
      Has thanked: 14614 times
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      The most important thing I would tell a 10 year old Paul(a), would be to be honest with yourself first and then tell your mom about Paula.

      I have had some serious heart to heart talks with my sister, and she has confessed that she wishes sometimes that she had known because she liked having me as little sister when we were part of the Barbie group.

      She does believe that mom would have been very supportive of Paula had she known, since she was okay with me being gay, though I never talked to her about that either.  But she did figure it out.

      The third thing I  would advise is to follow through with the transition the very first time it presents itself, that she would be much happier in the long run.  Not that I am unhappy now, but things would have gone very different otherwise, I think.

      NO regrets though.

      PaulaF

      • This reply was modified 1 week ago by Paula F.
    • #488043
      Octavia Long
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 31, 2021
      Topics: 38
      Replies: 111
      Has thanked: 685 times
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      Donna I would probably have told myself to take better care of my body. I would not have listened but I really wish that I was not so reckless in my youth.  The pride that I got from the sports still remain but the pain is getting worse the older I get.  Broken bones do heal but I can tell when the weather is going to change better than the weather person on tv.
      ❤️
      Octavia

      • #488134
        JillianW
        Lady
        Registered On: October 13, 2019
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 141
        Has thanked: 284 times
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        I feel ‘ya Octavia.
        My orthopedist “official” diagnosis of my knees is “nine miles of bad road”. 👩🏻‍🦽😀
        More importantly I would have told her to watch her eating habits and weight. That beer gut is unhealthy and mighty unattractive in a tight dress.

        Jillian

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