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If could travel back in time and tell yourself at any age may it be young or younger what would you tell self.
For me would tell myself that follow your dreams no matter what one day can be anything like. Knowing would say to seek help and transition earlier then present age.
Donna I would probably have told myself to take better care of my body. I would not have listened but I really wish that I was not so reckless in my youth. The pride that I got from the sports still remain but the pain is getting worse the older I get. Broken bones do heal but I can tell when the weather is going to change better than the weather person on tv.
❤️
OctaviaI feel ‘ya Octavia.
My orthopedist “official” diagnosis of my knees is “nine miles of bad road”. 👩🏻🦽😀
More importantly I would have told her to watch her eating habits and weight. That beer gut is unhealthy and mighty unattractive in a tight dress.Jillian
The most important thing I would tell a 10 year old Paul(a), would be to be honest with yourself first and then tell your mom about Paula.
I have had some serious heart to heart talks with my sister, and she has confessed that she wishes sometimes that she had known because she liked having me as little sister when we were part of the Barbie group.
She does believe that mom would have been very supportive of Paula had she known, since she was okay with me being gay, though I never talked to her about that either. But she did figure it out.
The third thing I would advise is to follow through with the transition the very first time it presents itself, that she would be much happier in the long run. Not that I am unhappy now, but things would have gone very different otherwise, I think.
NO regrets though.
PaulaF
I would tell myself “Do not live your life to make everyone else happy. Think about what you really want to do in life. Live your life on your own terms.”
Eva
Was thinking of that too but to buy bitcoin
Wow… I feel like this question really deserves an essay rather than short answer. There are so many things, but I think I’ll just shorten it to this. I would tell myself that the patriarchal, homophobic, catholic society I grew up in is BS. People are people, and should all be treated with the same love and respect, regardless of sex, gender, race, country of origin, religion (or lack of religion), how you dress, where you live, and any other difference you can think of. Though most people deny it, I think we all have implicit biases that we need to actively work to overcome.
I would tell myself, it’s ok for people to be whoever they feel like they are, love whoever they love, dress however they feel like dressing, and express whatever emotions they are feeling. Younger me shouldn’t have been ashamed of my feminine side, or tried to act more masculine than I really felt. I should have expressed myself openly, as I felt I was. Be yourself, and the people who accept you are the ones who are truly the important ones in life.
Birel
I would tell myself to take advantage of some scary opportunities. I was just telling a friend here about a time I was admiring a skirt in a Goodwill when I was much younger. A cute salesgirl in any otherwise empty store came over and said “Do you want to try it on?” I chickened out and told her that I was looking for my girlfriend; I didn’t have one at the time. I’ve often wished that I had taken her up on her offer.
I would have told my 20 year self to go ahead and transition.
Live as a woman!
I was convinced that my desire to be feminine was a fetish and I’d get over it … HA!
I have had a great life with a wonderful family so I’m happy … but … during the quiet times I always wonder.Hugs
Jillian
Hi Donna….
Maybe not tell myself…..but travel back to 9 months before I was born….grab my mum and dad by the scruff of their necks, give them a good shake ….and say ” try harder for a bloody girl” !!!!!
Smiles, grace xx
LOL was thinking of same thing then thought if would do that might tear the space time continuim apart hehe.
I would reassure young Staci that the world will definitely become more accepting in time and more tolerant with all the different aspects of human sexuality and choices of lifestyle… that the pressure to be the best “man” possible in every situation as well as the great married husband is over rated and not true to ones own self, certainly not hers… she needs to focus on simply being rhe best person she can be and help others along the way with the caring and love in her tres grande coeur.
The first thing I would say to my younger self is take care of yourself and heed all medical advice !! Having been thru a gazillion hospital appts, and discouraging medical news, it all started by me not listening and acting on doctor’s advice. I wouldn’t be in a state today if I had done so.
Secondly, take education seriously. Having been booted from post secondary, I didn’t take education or schooling seriously and wound up with a low paying job that was labour intensive. Never again.
Third, invest in a job that has a good pension wisely. I didn’t like the boss in one job, so I decided to bail. However, the institution had really good benefits and pension. I should have stayed or at least found something in another area at the same institution.
As for CDing, come out as Wendy to my wife much earlier in the relationship. That would have spared me from purging quite abit of vintage clothing like 80s – 90s aerobic wear and one piece swimsuits.
Someone said that exact same thing to me last year – same year Chevy truck too. I’ve still got it – for now.
Hi Donna What a great thought provoking topic. I defiantly would tell the young Stephanie that you are not alone there are others who have the same feelings and are investing in two great stocks. I would let young Stephanie know she had her choice. She could be a very rich young woman filled with all the trappings of beauty and pretty clothes that money could buy or she could be blessed with five beautiful grand children and a lovely wife that accepts her no matter how she is packaged. I believe Stephanie would start to wounder who is this special woman that is going to make her life have real meaning.
Stephanie
Awesome subject. I would tell myself to, simply, be who you are. I spent a lot of time ignoring who I was, and I wish I could tell myself that there’s nothing wrong with being yourself and staying true to what makes you, you.
I wouldn’t be too specific, or I would have missed out on a lot of joy and also sorrow, that has shaped who I am today, for better or worse. I would say to eat much healthier, drink less, exercise, love harder, help others more often, and never take anything for granted. Never be afraid to be your true self, even though it will cost you some friends, but then they weren’t friends anyway.
I’m not sure that I would tell my younger self to do anything different. I am, however, curious how my life may have different had I been honest with myself and my parents when I was outed as a teenager. Yet, I would not want to lose the life that I have now, especially my wife.
MacKenzie Alexandra
Never know could change your history for better at this point in time. Many things I think of wish could do over. Knowing things then and now. Look at the plot line of back to future hehe changed things for the best.
I’d go back and tell myself to buy lots of Microsoft stock right after the IPO. After that, I think Kate Dawn below said it best for me.
Hi Donna excellent question I would come out to all my family at the same time, introduce them all to Sarah and tell them this is who I am like it or lump it.
Love Sarah xx
You Know Sarah did that when turned 21 as CD but didn’t tell them was transitioning until about 3 years ago. Then took me just 5 months ago to finally do it. Should have done the woman transition years ago.
Hugs
Donna
Donna well done you that’s great I was looking at your profile picture you look fantastic.
Best Wishes Love Sarah xx
Thank you Sarah
One time years ago, I’d only been married for a year or so my wife came home early and found me with makeup on and her bra and panties. We worked through it but I lied and told her it was just a thing and I wouldn’t do it anymore. I wish today that I’d been truthful and didn’t hide it from her for the next 35 years. 💕💋 Katie
Hi Donna,
If i could go back in time i would tell my younger self if you are going to get married then you have to tell your wife all about your crossdressing, no if’s or but’s just tell her everything,
This is the one big secret I’ve been keeping from her all my life,
I’m not sure how she would react to my confession but i would respect her decision x
Hugs Roz xxxxx
I think I would have told him to explore his desires and be honest with himself about what he learns. After learning what you are (whatever that is) be honest with loved ones as early as possible. Like an early poster said, if they love you they will accept you no matter what. Simple things that would make anyone’s life better including young me
I would go back and tell myself to stop judging people. You’re not gay, but it’s ok for others to be. Dressing doesn’t mean you are. Be open and love everyone, because everyone deserves to be loved.
People shouldn’t judge others Shame how some people are not educated. Remember having some faults back in younger years but all changed and don’t judge anyone. Suppose Judge myself back then because felt different and did things different growing up. Then normal boys did.
I’m not that old. I’m getting to my late 30’s. I started to show interest in women clothing and make up since I was 6. I dressed up fully at the age of 19. I kept that habit of discreet crossdressing for a few years after that until I went on a long period of purge and denial for reasons I had to justify for myself. But during that time I was suffering with depression and frequent stress. Until a couple of years ago I had a lipstick on my lips and all these feminine feelings were back and they were strong this time. I realized this was what I needed to make me happy. to never kill the female inside of me. I’m starting to embrace Alisha and get prepared to present her in full and let her have her own life and world. It is a wake up call and I have to answer it.
My dearest Donna,
I can only answer for myself, of course. If I was 35 today, and happily divorced, I don’t know what I would do. In 1983 there was no Donna, no CDH, no online shopping, no Amazon.
The best thing about CDH is knowing that one isn’t alone in all of this.
I know that the process of finding out who I am and who I want to be was the culmination of a lifetime. Today is the right time for me.
Thank you, Donna
With loving affections,
Diane
Actually in 83 was in deep thought on who was and the thought of being different then Think Donna was starting to scratch her self out then took this long for her to break free.
Hugs
Donna
Knowing just exactly what my younger self was like and what he wanted as far as dressing and other things, I would arrange to have him in my company for a couple of weeks and return him back to almost the same moment he left. I would give him the opportunity to wear whatever he wanted—nonstop. a bra with DD weighted forms—check. panty girdle—check. corset—check. panty hose and heels—check. and wear a dress over the entire thing. then go about ordinary play. riding a bike, mowing the yard, whatever. just go about life, wearing everything you want. nothing denied. but the deal is, you wear it for the entire two weeks, even to bed except for bathing.
then each of the scenarios he fantasized about he could do one by one until he knew that the reality was nothing like the fantasy. nothing harsh or mean, just okay, you can do it until you get tired of it.
the hope being that if the mystery was removed and reality was experienced right away and for long enough to make it boring, most of the desire would disappear with it. “Been there, done that” sort of thinking. it might just work since I start things with a nuclear fired passion and think of little else until it starts to get old, then interest wanes and basically disappears.
I would teach him and show him the things that would have made his childhood much better. and which stocks to buy in the future to make me fabulously rich. I would also tell him exactly who his first girlfriend will be and where to meet her. ah, fond memories there….
finally, I would disintegrate into a quantum nothingness caused by the arrival of the temporal causality wave. or be rescued by the Tardis, whichever came first.
I would tell myself that dressing is not a phase that will go away and because of that tell your girlfriend about it before you get married. It’s not fair to her or you to have to hide it for most of your lives. She should be given the choice of whether or not it is something that she can live with before you are married.
I’d hand myself a list of lottery numbers and the last 30 Grand National winners. Everything else would take care of itself.
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I would have told myself even though I was orphaned after being born that I was worth living my life as I felt and not the way all those people who was supposed to be on my side were telling me how I should live. I would have never fallen in the marriage trap, would have moved away from the area where I grew up and away from all those toxic people who only had their own interest in mind. I would have told myself to stand up for myself instead of just following like a dumb sheep. I would have told myself that things would get better in time and things really can change. Little did I know back then… I was so stupid… a whole life lived as a lie.
It’s funny that you ask this question as it is something I have discussed with my therapist a few times.
If I could go back I would tell myself that it is okay to feel the way I do and to be myself. If I had not done that early enough I would have accepted who I am after my first marriage and allowed myself to be me rather than pursuing what society or those in my life thought I should do and/or be. For me it is not only gender identity but sexuality as well. For the time I grew up both of these were topics that weren’t discussed and you could never share your thoughts with anyone for fear of ridicule.
It was about 2 1/2 years ago that I came out to my wife and learned to accept myself for who I am. Therapy is a great help in that and for the first time in mylife I am able to be open as to who I am. It is a very freeing feeling to be able to do so.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts.
XOXO
SuzanneNow that’s and easy one for me! First I would tell myself to marry a beautiful rich girl with a college degree and a great high paying career the first time around. She had to have come from two loving parents who were very generous with their money too!
She would also have fidelity, honesty, a sense of fashion and style, a love for sports – especially football and baseball, and an open mind when it comes to cross dressing all at the top of my “Must haves in a first and hopefully only wife!”
Next up I would have told myself to start cross dressing and perfecting the art of makeup application by the age of 15 rather than the age of 55 which was the age when I perfected both arts of cross dressing and makeup application. And to not have any shame or guilt about wanting to dress up and be passable as a girl in public!
That’s it for now but I could write a very long novel on the answers to this question!
Love y’all, Scarlett
Hi girls, without a doubt I would tell my 12 year old me not to deny this part of him or fight against it because it will only hurt him and make him feel sad and out of place and lead him to make wrong decisions for trying to be what is expected of him and not who he really is, and I would also tell him that what he does is not bad or wrong, but quite the opposite, so hug him and go with everything my girl because believe me it will be the best decision of your life,
In summary and without a doubt that’s what I would tell myself if I had the opportunity to do so,
greetings to allNow there’s a tough question.
If I could have done more dressing in the 60’s-90’s I would of had fun if I could have come out, but those were brutal times for people who did not conform. I don’t think the embarrassment and ass thumpings would have been much fun. After that came my children and I sure as hell wouldn’t want to have missed that…..But somewhere around 2010 when I traveled a lot for work I wished I had left the hotel as Teri occasionally rather than stay inside my room and wash my artwork down the drain at days end. Then my skin was tighter and I maybe could have had a nice time. Now, I actually go out dressed a fair amount but time is no longer on my side. Picasso might give up.
I’m days away from the start of my seventh decade here on the rock. I can’t bitch. I have almost enough skill to throw on my Teri face and head out the door to fool the world.
Someone can always look back and say I should have done something different. But rarely can you change one thing without upsetting another. HUGS, TERI
Easy. I would advise my younger self to think twice about costs and benefits, maybe thrice, before making a decision or taking any action.
That is a very tough question. I would absolutely love to dress the sixteen to forty year old me. I weighed between 100 and 130 pound with fairly soft features. I wish I could go back and do that now. But in reality I lived and learned thru some very tough times and ended up being a person I was proud to be with three great sons and grandchildren that I love and count as friends. How could I change any of that. The only thing I would tell myself would be a better friend to a very close friend who took his own life..I get tears in my eyes whenever I think of him. I would even marry the uncaring woman I did because without her I would not have my children. It might seem weird but this is the only place where I can share these thoughts. Thanks Girls.
I would have told myself to keep my 1979 Z 28 Camaro and to come out as Michelle in my 30s and to tell my family and aunts and uncles and cousins to accept me and like it or lump it.I spent too many years with that old Catholic guilt forming my future.I would have found a wife that accepted Michelle totally.All that being said,you cant look back.I am very happy today as a part time lady called Michelle and intend to stay happy .
Personally I think I accepted my feminine side at the right time, after I’d been though a couple of major trials.
I’d tell myself time is a precious thing. Don’t waste it on “should I’s”. Just go for it and live. I’m 32 and still on minimum wage, no driving license, no mortgage, no partner, no kids. Id tell my self live and push yourself and see what happens.
One day back in 8th grade during gym class outdoors I was in a mixed group of close acquaintances, including Christine 1.0, horsing around with each other apart from the main class. This took the form of chasing around after each other, and once someone was caught and tackled onto the grass their shirt got lifted up. Shy, awkward me of that time was actually afraid of getting caught and was content with the little flashes of skin and undergarments from my female friends. If I were to travel back in time to that day I would encourage my younger self not to be so afraid and be more active in this harmless horseplay. Mind you, I would caution my younger self not to go beyond innocent contact, but as much as I had seen Christine 1.0 inadvertently flash her nylon panties over the years and occasionally afford me a glimpse of her bra I regret missing this golden opportunity without obvious repercussions to actually touch them and feel how soft they actually were. Not sure how things would have turned out if that actually happened, if Christine 1.0 would have been made aware through this that it was the sight of her underwear that had me so obsessed with her. More broadly I should have cautioned myself much earlier to scale back how much I wanted to see her panties and actually worked up the courage to engage with her as a friend: it probably would have paid off in the end as the destructive path I was plowing through my life at the time was getting me nowhere. I’m hoping she shows up at our 40 year reunion next month so that we can clear the air once and for all.
Christine
If i could go back in time i would tell myself not to eat so many cake’s then i might fit into smaller size clothes,
Also i would tell myself you have to come out to your girlfriend/wife and not live in the closet,
There are a thousand and one thing’s i would love to tell my younger self but there isn’t enough room on this page,
Hugs Rozalyn X
I would also tell myself that 1950’s black cocktail dress i saw in a vintage shop about 10 years ago you must buy it, It doesn’t matter if it’s a size or 2 or 3 to small you can always slim down into it, It was gorgeous X
Back when I was 14, I had to start wearing a girdle regularly against my will. Ideally I’d like to tell my younger self to stand up for himself and refuse, but given the circumstances and knowing what the consequences would have been, I know that would be a non-starter.
It was so difficult having to deal with that situation – the shame and appalling discomfort of having a firm panty girdle on 8+ hours a day every school day, the ever-present fear of being caught and the awful knowledge that there was no way out and I’d have to be dressing like this next week, next month, next year. I had to go through this alone with no support – the few people who knew (including my own sister) took great pleasure in my situation.
So, if I could go back, I think the only thing I could so is just be there to give my younger self someone to talk to – let him curse the people responsible, cry his eyes out, just generally vent – and then try my best to reassure him that he will cope in the long term and it does get easier to deal with over time.
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