Where would you place yourself on a gender spectrum?

As we know gender is not a binary choice. And male and female are imperfect approximations of reality.

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  • 100% female / 0 male
  • 80 female / 20 male
  • 60 female / 40 male
  • 40 female / 60 male
  • 20 female / 80 male
  • 0 female / 100 male

This topic contains 51 replies, has 28 voices, and was last updated by  stephanie plumb 1 day ago.

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  • #185341
     Paula1 
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    40% male by birth and work 60% female by choice any other time

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    • #190907
       Jessica 
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      me too

       

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    • #185362
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      no comment  rox

  • #185286
     Kim Michele 
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    Although born a male, I have always felt a strong female side to me.

    As I get older, is just gets stronger.

    My dream would be to get my body sculptured into a hot female and a complete make over to see how hot I could be.

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    • #191205
       John Staab 
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      I just joined and read your message.  I couldn’t agree more!  The older I get I just want to live totally as a woman.  I would do anything to be transformed into a beautiful woman!

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  • #185252
     Jennifer Swanson 
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    I know numbers are such a poor representation of reality.  However when you  average the poll it comes to 49.2, (5760/117) meaning that our community is balanced female to male.

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  • #185234
     Jackie 
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    Oh I’m definitely male by birth and don’t try to be anything else. I was once able to hide my true sex when I was younger. Today I don’t personally believe I’m passable even when I’m not in drag. Don’t get me wrong I adore being different. I don’t own one single shred of male clothing, not even a pair of jeans. I do sleep with the same sex and never have with the opposite. Some ask why don’t I begin hormones and lean towards becoming a woman? Answer; I don’t want to be a woman or transgender. I love me for who I am, end of question.

    Jackie,,,, *Wild Child*

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  • #184786
     Jennifer Swanson 
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    Thanks to everyone for such varied and deep responses.  I asked the question of gender identity because I think it both strikes at the heart of our identity while blowing up the whole concept of identity. I love all you gurls and thank you for taking us on this incredible journey together.  Love Hugs and Admiration, Jennifer

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  • #184768
     Christinajane 
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    Hi Jennifer, Interesting and thought provoking question – I think emotionally I am 80% female and physically I am 60% male – 40% female is a lot. I get the occasional funny look and giggle as a male – sometimes I really like that sometimes it’s a bit embarrassing. When I fully commit to presenting as a female I seem to be accepted quite well and really enjoy that. Starting to enjoy giving femme hints in male mode is fun. Have enjoyed reading the other girls comments on this, I agree with everyone.

    Hugs Christina xx

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  • #184725
     Roberta Thomas 
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    I went for sixty per cent female and forty per cent male.Mainly because I spend about four or five days a week dressed enfemme at home.I have had feminine feelings all my life.I spent most of my childhood and adoscelence wishing that I had been female even though as far as I am aware I am not trangendered.In public I present myself as a male without any problems and if I am honest I am not unhappy with that.I am not a typical alpha male I have to say I have never been very sporty.A lot of people who know me are well aware of my sensitive nature but I don’t think anyone regards me as effeminate.My voice is quite masculine.I am very sensitive to a woman’s feelings.It’s probably not surprising given that I am a crossdresser.If however there was such a thing as reincarnation I would come back as a female even though it’s definitely not all honey.I definitely wouldn’t relish periods and pre menstrual tension.My wife suffered from it terribly before she had a hystorectomy and I can vouch for the fact that it is no joke.

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  • #184657
     Maria Troup 
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    It doesn’t madder what % it’s just being yourself that’s all that matters

     

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    • #184663
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      In other words, Keep it to yourself, no one else needs to know!

      Roxanne Lanyon

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  • #184643
     Laura Lovett 
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    I said 40% female.

    I know I’m a man, I just don’t identify with most men I’ve met. Actually, I find maleness repulsive.

    It’s the reverse with women. I find feminist very attractive, and always find something beautiful in a woman, no matter what her appearance.

    But I cannot change the fact I know I’m a man any more than I can change the fact that I love to dress as a woman.

    I don’t feel like a man when dressed, but gender is not important to me. It doesn’t define who I am.

     

    • #191358
       stephanie plumb 
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      know I’m a man, I just don’t identify with most men I’ve met. Actually, I find maleness repulsive.

      Laura,

      Odd statement.  Maybe you are not quite the man you think you are?   You can’t change the fact that you were born a man, but that doesn’t define your gender identity – and you have one wether you admit it or not.

      Have you read my post “Gender Identity – part 1 (I can’t make it sexier)?  I would be interested to hear your comments.

      Stephanie P.

    • #184646
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Gender is what I am in my Lane Bryants, or my VENUS ensemble, or even my Other Woman clothes. I am Roxanne, and adore it!

      Roxanne Lanyon

  • #184628
     Michelle Wilmington 
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    Interesting topic, I said 20% female biased on how often I’m able to dress, perhaps if I was able to do more, more often I’d be closer to the 4o% mark.

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  • #184608
     Roxanne Lanyon 
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    I would rather be 100% female, but I would need a sweet partner for that!

    Roxanne

  • #184588
     Patty Phose 
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    I’m Patty except for those times when I can’t or shouldn’t be. When I first heard the term “gender fluid”, I realized that is very much me.

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  • #184580
     stephanie plumb 
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    OooH this is a difficult one!   Good one Sammy, you sure know how to get the mental juices flowing!

    Females are not supposed to think are they? Ouch my head hurts! Lol. Be serious Stephanie….

    Much of the time I think I am DEEP DOWN 100% female.  But I can’t not take into account my  XY male body, so I voted 80/20.     But it is just a body. Does it’s genetic and hormonal make up give it a gender?   I think not. I think our gender is more spiritual and is outside of our physical form. Is the body just a shell that our soul inhabits?

    Did fate mismatch my spiritual gender with a male body?   I am beginning to think/realise that my maleness was thrust upon me by being raised as a boy. And social conditioning and family pressure, ensured this was the only path I could follow.  Femininity was not allowed to develop.    I have done lots of male stuff (though none is exclusively male) like rock climbing, Mountaineering and windsurfing, but I have never felt like a true male.  Too sensitive. Too emotional. Too caring.  Too empathetic.  And I love female clothing! Always have.

    I CAN be 100% male … if I want to be….. I spent decades learning how to!  So wether the 20% is learned behaviour or genetic I am not sure. But now I am so much happier as a female and increasingly react and behave like one. I seem to be “unlearning”  all the maleness I acquired as not being a true reflection of who I am.

    I am ME and right now I feel 100% female.

    • #185247
       Bettylou Cox 
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      Stephanie,

      Lots of food for thought in that post.  Sex is defined by your (visible) body,  gender is defined by your (invisible) mind, and the latter is rarely, if ever, 100% either.  Makes sense to me.  I know I never “fit” into the male role model, and my brain isn’t “wired” to fit properly into the female model, either.  Is it a blend, or is there  something else?  Sometimes I think I’m 35% male, 35% female and the rest space alien.  Forgive me for rambling.

      Bettylou

       

       

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      • #185260
         Roxanne Lanyon 
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        no comment – Rox

    • #184710
       Jennifer Swanson 
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      Stephanie,  you spoke volumes in a few words. “ I think our gender is more spiritual and is outside of our physical form. Is the body just a shell that our soul inhabits?”

      I don’t believe there are genders in the life of the soul.  I think each of us is a unique life that struts and frets and then is no more.  I think our purpose is to love and serve one another.

      Thank you and hugs

      Jennifer

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      • #184845
         stephanie plumb 
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        There is no consensus of opinion as to wether the soul has a gender or not. Some religions say yes, others say no.  Perhaps we will never know.  The real problem with gender though is …..  what exactly is gender? Where is it located?   How many genders are there?  There are some schools of thought that gender is learned behaviour …  and for this reason can be reassigned. In other words it is not fixed.

    • #184630
       Roxanne Lanyon 
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      Oh Stephanie, truer words were never spoken!

      I wish I were raised as a feminine girl. I would be such a lady by now! But, as I age, my soul is abandoninging her pre-formed ideas, and bringing her to reality. A reality of lace, chiffon, nylon , flowers, make-up and and wifedom. I am so being changed, right now! I love being femme, and want it so much!

      Roxanne Lanyon

    • #184615
       Sa·man·tha 
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      Same here Stephanie, I feel like I’m “unlearning” the masculine characteristics I had to learn in order to fit in.  It feels like more naturally me.  Do souls have a gender?  I wonder sometimes, not so sure.  I feel like I was stuffed into this male body to learn about manhood, and I don’t feel like I’ve done that great a job at it.  At *being* it at least.  I’m truly sorry if anyone is disappointed.  It’s just easier, more natural to be myself than what the world seems to expect of me.

      • #184859
         stephanie plumb 
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        Do souls have a gender?   Oh girl!  You’ve really started me off now!  You prompted me to explore what gender is and how it comes to “inhabit” us.  I wish I hadn’t started. It’s far too complicated for my poor female brain to comprehend.  I jotted down a load of simple logical conclusions…..  complete rubbish as it happens.  I may post it ….  then correct it.  It all has to do with our BSTc you see.  And maybe even our 2D;4D ratio.

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      • #184634
         stephanie plumb 
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        Sigh!  You put it so much better than I do.

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        • #184636
           Roxanne Lanyon 
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          Thank you, Stephanie!

          I wish my soul could be my life! I would be such a femme lady, then! Even marriage would not be out of the question!

          Roxanne Lanyon

      • #184620
         Roxanne Lanyon 
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        Saw your comment.

        I think my soul is definitely feminine!

        Roxanne Lanyon

    • #184597
       Annie Potts 
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      I love this analysis and I must say I feel much the same way.   When I am Annie I am 100% female. I try not to let any maleness in and experience the pure joy of femininity and womanhood. You have described my feeling better than I could have put into words.  Hugs.  Annie

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  • #184568
     Sa·man·tha 
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    Haha I voted 80/20 but it’s probably more like 90/10.  There’s a small handful of things about me that will just always be masculine, no matter how feminine I see myself as being.  Lol oh my

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  • #184562
     casey Hermoine 
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    Wow,

    I answered 0% female. Although I love dressing up I have like no “girly” in me. I love working in the yard and on cars.  I have no interest as living as a woman. The only feminine thing I love doing is shopping.  I can literally look at womens clothes all day.  I am both attracted to and want to emulate the models wearing them. Weird stuff I know.

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    • #184652
       Bettylou Cox 
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      Hermoine,

      We are all weird, in one way or another.  As a  guy, I found shopping a chore to do only when necessary.  Then when my daughters became teens, I started shopping for them and their mom when on deployments – and liking it.  Now, I shop for me in the women’s shops, and it’s almost an addiction.  I don’t wish to be a woman, either – but my dream is to be passable as one.

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      • #184655
         Roxanne Lanyon 
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        I have learned to love shopping! I need to look for a new bra right now!

        Roxanne Lanyon

  • #184559
     Sarah Daniels 
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    Today Im 60 40 M to F. tomorrow who knows. Its fluid.

    What can I say…Im noncommital.

    Never take yourself too seriously.

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  • #184558
     Anonymous
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    I am one of the two, at the time of this writing, that voted 100%.  This is because I’m trans, from birth and not man-made and not with HRT ….et al.   I’ve been leading the life of a female model for so very long (and makeup and makeover artist, internationally), and wearing heels ONLY (usually Goth boots of some flavour), that I’ve kind of forgotten how to act to be “male” anymore.  While many are working with adapting to the femme side, I’m on the other side of that fence.  I’d have to practice my hiney off to pull off being a convincing male, as I am ‘very’ effeminate(sp?), yet not what I called a “screaming sissyboy” or anything of the like.  I am who I am!  (one last change (genitals) ….would NOT make me a woman either).  That’s another “Magic of Makeup” (per se)?  ha!

    I pray this is ‘chill’ with everyone….

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  • #184542
     Samantha Murphy 
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    I said, 60 female/40 male. It would be more accurate to say 50/50. I’d say my hope is to try and find a balance with both the masculine and feminine sides of my personality.

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    • #184599
       stephanie plumb 
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      You are assuming you have two sides to your personality.  But what if you are only YOU. Is it not possible your male “side” was learned behaviour from being raised as a boy from the moment of your birth?  Think on……

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    • #184548
       Jahnna Stites 
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      That’s how I feel too. I said 80/20

      because all the quizzes I’ve taken tell me 75 to 80 percent fem.

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  • #184487
     Gabriela Romani 
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    Ok after my “smarty” answer, something a bit more serious.

    If the idea is to quantify “masculinity/femininity”, most people will be inclined to answer highly on “female”, being that this is a CD related site. But then again… how can you determine what is feminine and what is masculine in an accurate way? It would depend a lot on the social construct of what are “masculine/feminine” behaviors and activities. And is it really tied up to the male/female persona?

    So, if I say that I’m loving, caring, nurturing, etc, those are not exclusive to females, as much of being assertive, decisive, strong, etc are not exclusive to men. Or liking bright colors or knitting or cooking or doing laundry vs fixing engines or playing sports.

    At the end, as a crossdresser I can say that while biologically a male, I have lots of what society calls feminine attributes, and I have a need to express parts of my personality presenting as a woman.

    Percentages? Meh… not really important, only for the anecdote.

    • #184511
       Joanne Cartwright 
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      I agree with the last paragraph in your letter about being biologically male but at times needing to express my feminine side also ….

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    • #184497
       Bettylou Cox 
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      Gabriela,

      I was trying to express the same ideas as in your reply,  but since the question was posed in statistics mode, I answered the same.  Your reply was the better for avoiding the “trap”.

      Bettylou

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    • #184491
       Tiff Any 
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      Hi Gabriela ,

      Love your second last paragraph 😊

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  • #184458
     Gabriela Romani 
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    I find myself on the 42.17/57.85 range 😉

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    • #185250
       T.J. Byron 
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      Gabby;

      LOVED the mathematics of your answer!!

      I would say I am 20% F , but able to dress up everyday if I wanted. Over past 5years, or so, I have dressed 2-3×/week.  80% M, because two of the 3 kids and none of the 4 grandchildren know about my dressing.

      I have my own female and Male closets. I shave 2x week. But at 73 in October,  no one cares about my body shaving,  longer nails,  no sideburns and shapes eyebrows.

      I ENJOY BEING ME NO MATTER WHAT I AM WEARING!!

      DR. T.J.

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    • #184460
       Bettylou Cox 
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      Gabriela,

      Don’t beat around the bush, girl; can’t you be more specific?   🙂

       

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  • #184452
     Bettylou Cox 
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    This question relies on the presumption that sex and gender are not synonymous (which necessarily makes gender a subjective trait).  That viewpoint will be widely disputed outside the CD community – but since we are “insiders”, here goes:

    I chose 80/20;  80 because my anatomy and sexual orientation agree.  Happy with 1 woman for 1 lifetime, and no second thoughts.  20 because I never “fit” into male social norms, I have much too much empathy for small animals and children, and I do let my emotions overrule my logic too often.  And then there is my fascination with dressing.  Maybe I should have listed 65/35.  I’m lost when I can’t measure things quantitatively.

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  • #184443
     Tiffany Alexis 
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    Oh I’d say I’m rolling at least 80% tiff these days, may still be trending upwards. And. I. Love. It.

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  • #184432
     Tiff Any 
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    Hi Jennifer , I’m gender fluid & for the most part I’m usually balanced by both genders , but I do have periods ( lasting from a few minutes to hours ) where I’m totally female. These are the most emotionally draining times but fortunately I’ve a fantastic wife who understands/ supports me/ us.

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    • #184846
       stephanie plumb 
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      Are you gender fluid at will?  i.e. are you in control. I have read that most gender fluid people switch randomly and do not have complete control.

  • #184407
     fiona moss 
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    Hi Jennifer, i had to think about this, i have always said that i was about 70/30 that is 70% fem, 30% male, as there was no option for this, i chose 60/40, i think its the most accurate option for me 🙂

    Fiona xxx

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