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My mother opened this possibility to me as a very young child, as I have started my story in my introduction. After I moved out, we never discussed the cross dressing, feminization path she set me on.
No one else in my family besides my Mom ever knew of just how long we played “Mother Daughter” in private, throughout my mid-teens.
My step-sister would probably have accepted my choices but I’m sure neither my father nor my step-brother would have accept me as Joan Marie.
This was a great question. Thank you so very much for allowing me to open up and for all the ladies on this forum for being so loving and supportive. It is a wonderful, safe space for me to reveal my feminine side.
J.M.
If you need to chat… I am here, ON THIS SITE…
Dr.T.J.
- Mom & Dad have past .
My sister in law & daughter in law both go out with me.
Oh, & my primary care doctor knows, it is in my medical records. I would love to go to a visit once en femme…that would be exilerating.
Thanks…Dr. T.J.
C.O’Brien….
I sure hope your situation of ” acceptance” improves! Hate to think you go thru your whole, entire life without anyone knows this side of you that is aching to get out!
Love…if you want to chat, hit me up.
Dr T.J.
Well I am not a FULL crossdresser…I just like women’s swimwear. I think about it every so often and have come to this conclusion: if I tell others, that is something that can’t be undone if it goes wrong. Also, keeping it a secret seems as if it would be much easier than spending the rest of my life struggling to convince others that I am not crazy.
Great topic Jennifer. I voted for spouse and social media. My wife has been accepting in a limited fashion but I can understand her reservations. The cdh community has been empowering and supportive beyond my wildest dreams. I feel I’ve come a long way in the last few months personally in my quest to understand myself. Thank you to all cdh members for the support, whether it’s a funny story in the forums or a simple hello in the live chat section it’s all appreciated.
Other than CDH, the only two people that know are my sister and my girlfriend. My sister accepts me. My girlfriend? Well, she used to, then she flipped. I have brought it up lately to test the waters.
Eva is not going back into the closet!
Hi Jennifer, Let’s see, obviously my wife knows and accepts (but is not overly supportive). I met a fellow crossdresser on this site from my community so we go out for coffee/tea once in awhile. The lady who owns a local adult shop (lingerie, games, etc) knows and told me there are quite a few CDs in our community that she has met. Can’t forget about all the lovely people here on this website in social media land who are so supportive. My parents have both past away but I’m pretty sure my Mom would be supportive as she gave me my name (my Father would definitely NOT be supportive). I’d love to tell my kids but my wife has told me that I can’t as one of her conditions. I think my daughter would be supportive, not sure about my son, but I think after a bit, he’d come around. Great question Jennifer, it was pleasant thinking about the answer. All the Very Best, Hugs, Krista.
It is an interesting question which asks another, at what point do you decide to tell some one?
From these forums there is a lot of discussion about the how’s and when. It seems the tipping point is when crossdressing is something that can no longer be hidden and to be able to express this part of the life you want to follow.
In this it’s not the who, but the consequences of that action. Will it throw you back in the closet or forward your crossdressing.
I will outline my decision. I decided to tell my mother. This took me a very long time to build up the courage until I did it. There was an acceptance which helped me to the next stage of dressing and becoming what is classed as having an acceptable appearance.
With the help of my mother we had the first of a couple of trips outside to open places. It was clear that I was advancing and wanted to take things further. Phase two was to tell my siblings. This went okay with one sister who wasn’t sure.
This led to more help. I was now out and about more but it was difficult in a relationship where I came out. Although it was accepted there were other circumstances where we realised it would be difficult for us. We parted as friends and she is still in touch and go out too.
After this I decided that I would not get into relationships unless I was honest from the start. I am still single and not in a relationship.
From there my friends, relatives, neighbours and some work colleagues were introduced.
Finally I retired and live my life 90% crossdressed. I applied for jobs and work as Angela. Now there are co workers and clients who know only Angela.
From telling my mother to now is over 30 years. Every step has been fraught with angst but it has been quite a journey and, apart from a few hitches, has been a success. At every stage I tried to assess how the person thought and how accepting they would be. There were no guarantees but I was lucky.
I had no real aspirations at the start, apart from enjoying wearing womens clothes . It evolved from there and acceptance has been a crucial part.
Hi Jennifer, pretty much everyone I know in person knows and supportd me. I’m out at work and every one is fab there, my imitate family all support me. I just told my young brother (11) and niece (10) today. Told my eldest neice (14) 2 weeks ago she the same. None of them care.
I live above a shop and none of the staff care. In fact 3/4 of them have gay relatives. The manager used to drink with a CD in the 80’s.
The only people that don’t know are my uncles, auties, cousin’s and nan. I don’t see them very often though.
Love Trish
Hi Jennifer,My sister,My Mary Kay lady,All my CDH friends,all the sales associates,my eye doctor and her complete staff,and my neighbors probably know from me coming and going as Michelle.At my age<72,but admit to 50>,I gave up worrying about it and live my life as the situation warrants it.Have fun and enjoy your femininety,Michelle.
My ex (wife at the time) knows, as does my daughter and son who live at home. I did tell my other daughter, but she has never seen me. I didn’t want my kids to find out after I’m gone and be unable to ask questions, and I didn’t want to have to sneak out of/back into the house for my parties or meetings.
The woman who did my first makeover and transformation, and my first outing obviously knows. So do the people from her parties (mostly other CD/TG, but some men and women too), and from my other support group. I would often go into Dress Barn a quarter mile from my home in male mode, sometimes looking, other times to pick up a package from online ordering (to save on the shipping; it really wasn’t out of the way). But before they closed, I was getting ready for an en femme walk through my neighborhood and decided I would take a quick look because of sales. Twice I went en femme and a sales associate recognized me with an “Oh, hi” and moved on to whatever she was doing.
The women who does (or have done in the past; two are no longer there) my waxing know and accept me (I have shown them pictures of me en femme if I had on a special outfit).
This last year I have been walking around my neighborhood en femme almost every day. A number of people smile or wave as I pass them, but they’ve never seen me in male mode so I believe they think I am female. I think the same goes for me going to the supermarket, particularly wearing a mask.
My dad passed away many years ago while I was still closeted. I never told my mom either. It’s not that I think she wouldn’t have been accepting, but she would have talked about it and spread it to my siblings. One of my siblings passed away 15 months ago. I’d rather not tell my brother or sister; it would only be a need to know and I don’t want to have to spend hours and hours answering questions.
I have shown pictures here, at another site, and on my friend’s meetup group page. But I’m not on any mainstream social media, either in male or female mode. My (ex) sister-in-law once found a picture from my meetup site and said something to my (then) wife about her not approving, but never said anything to me.
I have gone to restaurants with others from my groups where it is obvious we are male, but have generally been accepted. I have also gone a couple of times to local restaurants where I don’t go often to pick up some food while wearing a mask. Again I think they believe me to be female.
Edit: I forgot to add that a couple of my daughter’s friends have seen me dressed. They are from the local pride center, so perhaps it’s not a complete surprise. I went with a couple of her friends to the local Renaissance Faire. I have been dressed coming in or going out to events when her friends were over (sometimes to play D&D). One night I went with my daughter to see Kinky Boots on Broadway, and we met my daughter’s friend and her mom who were going to see a different show on Broadway that night.
My sister and her husband and daughters and their families are the most important ones who know.
Most of my neighbors and co-workers also know, and many other people. Not everyone in the 2d category approve, but they know.
Paula is not here and now for anyone’s approval, just to live my life as I see fit for my own self to be happy.
PaulaF
Well this is a beautiful question before I got caught crossdressing buy my mother I was so scared she wouldn’t accept me like that omg I was so wrong as I got older and dated I told some girls I crossdress some were ok with it and definitely some didn’t like it I have coworkers who know that it’s a big big part of my life and how much I really really love it and how happier I am when I’m fully dressed I do underdress everyday.panties pantyhose .to keep my self as femmine as I feel . and have told my coworkers Im going to transition they say YES do it that made me feel so Wonderful
I had a cousin who accepted me, but sadly she has passed. The rest don’t know, except my wife, who knows but tolerates only panty and nightie wearing.
I never told my parents, both of whom have passed years ago, but I think my mother knew and I’d like to think she would not have cared. I think my father suspected, but never said anything. He would not have accepted.. I take pride in making myself into a passable looking girl and I’ve spent plenty of time and money to do it The many hours I’ve spent learning the mannerisms of a girl has been worth it. I’ve been in situations like a line going into a ladies room, where I have to speak with women and I’m proud to say that because of the hours I spent learning how to walk and speak, I’ve never had anyone question me or treat me differently than a real female So I can honestly say that I’ve been accepted by many, although I don’t know them other than women who see me As far as anyone who knows me, there isn’t anyone who knows that I’m a crossdresser. I keep that part of my life separated from my male life and I must say that it’s difficult to do since lately I have been dressing en femme more because I really like being Janine and doing feminine things
Not family but all my friends know and most of them are gay or active cds. I was also out as a woman in one job that lasted under a year and was a marvalous experience. I have kept it from family but my older sister knew I was dressing in her clothes as a teen and not aware of my life as a cd since then
I’ve never had an issue dressed en-femme in clothes shops but I think the assistants probably have bigger things to worry about than someone 6’2″ trying to walk in heels (OK only did that once).
I had to vote “other” as the teen would neither identify as son or daughter. We aren’t sure what to use as gender neutral options seem thin on the ground. Using “child” seems inappropriate for someone their age. One website did suggest “spawn” as an option.
That aside, they are very comfortable with my dressing and it was an amazing day when I told them and they gave me a big hug whilst dressed.
Next step is figuring out how to tell the SO without the world falling of its axis!
-A.
I’ve answered this question on other forum posts. I voted the following on this and the others:
Other: Two special private acquaintances. A SA at an eyeglass store.
Clothing Stores: 4 stores; 3 owners and 2 SAs.
Other CDers: the members of my two local CD/TG support groups.
Social Media friends: All the wonderful members and friends that I’ve had the pleasure to message with on CDH.
Once I began to fully dress, I started by driving between cities en femme, then around town at night, and finally during the day. I knew of a very open adult toy and clothing store mostly staffed by women and headed there. The ladies instantly accepted me and have become my biggest supporters and friends.
When I decided to test the waters on coming out to a friend from my drab world I went to the mall and asked two of the makeup saleswomen at a big box store advice on makeup. They were so kind and supportive and told me to come back and let them know how things went!
Next, I visited the famous local lesbian restaurant/bar/club for lunch on a work day. The staff and several guests treated me with respect and kindness. Only one guest demanded to know why I was in “her zone”, and the staff assured me I was still welcome. The clerk at my favorite wig store has also been supportive from the beginning.
I have been surprised at who is most open and supportive when I tell them or when they figure me out. Although most of the kindest have been gg’s, there have been a surprising number of men as well.
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