As I think back on my life, in my youngest days I loved looking at my moms Glamor mags and the Sears and Roebuck catalog looking at the cloths, shoes and undergarments. I loved the style and design. I would even try on my moms panty hose. Over the years on occasion I would try on one of my wife’s dresses when home alone. As a photographer I was ask to photograph an lgbtq event and while I was in my ubiquitous photographers black on black pants and shirts. Everyone else in the place was in fabulous costumes and outfits. They were beautiful and so much fun. This year the event was in February and in October I decided that I would go in femme! My wife (who is super conservative and freeked out by anyone different) was gone for 3 weeks. So just me and the dog. I decided then and there that I was going all out. I went to see Phebe Cross here in Georgia, who works with the lady’s to dress them and style them and put makeup on them. It was a wonderful experience! I never felt so complemented in a genuine way. I felt for the first time in my life, beautiful. Phebe even gave me one of the outfits she dressed me in because it fit me so perfectly. I recognized that everyone really, man or woman, wants to or wishes they could be seen and feel beautiful. Who wouldn’t? I told my wife and grown girls that I went through that process to prepare for the event and shared with them the photo’s with mixed results. My girls were ok with it but my wife did not like it at all. I focused on loosing weight so I would look as good as I could in Feb. I went to Goodwill and would buy heals but was to embarrassed to try them on in the store so I would buy them, take them home and try them on and if they did not fit I would return them. I finally went to DSW and asked them to help me. They were fantastic! I found a pair of heals that fit me right and wore them out of the store. I went to the bank in them and I swear no one even noticed. I loved what wearing heals did for my posture. I would wear them around the house all day and worked on my walk. I ordered wigs and dresses on line and could not wait for them to come in to try on. I would wear night gowns to bed and shaved my body from head to toe. I loved the way my smooth skin felt. I remember thinking that if men would just shave there body there would be less violence and wars. My first experience doing my own make up was terrible. My wigs looked bad on me. But I finally found a wig that fit my face properly. When my wife got home after 3 weeks away she saw several dresses in my closet and went off on it. “You have women’s dresses in your closet!) I said “Those are not women’s dresses. Those are my dresses”. Those dresses are still in my closet but all the other stuff is hidden away. So the night of the event came and my wife chose to leave the house to shop but I am sure she did not want to see me prepare for the event. I got showered shaved and dressed up and headed for Sephora. I had to valet my car and in walking to the store no one even gave me a second look. I told them it was my first time out in femme and they were amazing. The makeup job was great and a ton of fun. Again not a single person in the store, women or boyfriends gave me a second look. I then went to the event and it could have not been more affirming for me. People who I have known for years did not recognize me but when I spoke to them and told them it was me. The response was wonderful. There was a woman who identifies as a lesbian approach me to tell me how great I looked and that she would totally date me!! I shot that entire event in 4 inch heels and had a fantastic time doing it!! I felt amazing! When I got home however, my wife came to see me and just stared. I said aren’t you going to say something? “What is there to say”? I said “I don’t know maybe you look great?” Nothing, she just went upstairs and has not mentioned it at all. I still keep those few dresses in my closet. But I now have probably 20 pair of shoes and I don’t know how many dresses and outfits that I keep hidden away. I only get dressed up when I know my wife will be gone. I still shave my legs every other day and my underarms and man bits daily. I put lotion on my legs and moisturizer on my face after every shower. My nails look great, and I am getting better about my makeup. In spite of my wife and her absolute objection to my experience, I have talked to her about what a wonderful experience it was for me and the never before level of self-care I am giving myself. I am very proud of my femme side. I share the photos with everyone I know. Not embarrassed at all to shop. Yesterday I went to Goodwill, mask on of course, and bought a dozen dresses, pants and tops. I was so happy to be doing it and did not feel the least bit conspectus or embarrassed in any way. I will sit down and try on heels and not think twice about it. So I am very proud to be exploring my fem side. I know this is a long story but thank you for giving me an opportunity to express it. UPDATE: I have been living as my true female self full time for the last 2 ish years and loving it! I've been on hormones for the last 10 months and have beautiful b cup breast. I've not worn breast forms in 6 months!!! The Atlanta Jewish Times did an article on me titled " Photographer Finds True Self" I am proud to say that I did not lose a single client or friend! Tells me I had the right clients and friends! I am living my very best life so far and intend to keep on that trajectory. I have had my own show "The Diane Crow Show" on my Facebook page and am the Co-host of The Gayly Dose. You can see that show on YouTube or anywhere you watch or listen to your podcast.
Wow! Diane, you have outstanding fashion sense! The outfit is lovely, perfectly
coordinated, black skirt with the matching top, the beautiful necklace, and
matching purse. Your slim trim figure is the finishing touch!
Ah but lastly, after looking past the pretty lady in the photo, as an engineer
by trade, I an intrigued by the old-style aeronautical blue print on the wall.
Hugs…Peggy Sue!
Peggy Sue! How wonderful to hear from you! I must say that life is really good overall I’m living the very best life so far! I’ve been 100% woman for a year and a half or better I’m on hormones which is fantastic! And I am more me than I’ve ever been! How are you doing hon?
Very glad to hear you are living the true you, Diane, and yes, I bet it feels
wonderful! All the best to you on your continuing journey!
As for me, I am blessed to have a supportive wife. I get all dolled up once
or twice a week. Have one room in the home dedicated to my female self.
I get out in public often, lots of photos of me on CDH.
Hugs…Peggy Sue
Peggy Sue, I have to tell you that you are an inspiration to me in my earliest days of this experience! I was so moved by your willingness to be out there to be proud of who you were unapologetic and unafraid! I will never forget when you and your sweet wife offered me some costume jewelry to have and I was fortunate to be able to drive up and meet you both I still wear some of that jewelry and it means a lot to me! I wish I had had a supportive wife like you have she’s lovely… Read more »
Hi Diane, good to see more of you lately on CDH. I love your outfit; it looks wonderful on you.
It’s really good to be back I was going through quite a time there for a while and I hit some pretty dark points of depression and sadness. Nothing dire or life-threatening at all but who is very isolating for quite a while and I have come out of that like a flower that is blooming in the new light! Thank you very much hon for all of your support and love! Hugs to you always, Diane
What a fine look on a fine beautiful lady. I love it. Makes work a little more bearable when feeling good in your clothes. Love to you. Janice.
Aww Janice, thank you!!! I was not at work but going for a follow up after gum surgery. That is why my hair is a mess. But feeling good in your clothes is so very important!!
Hugs
Diane
Lovely! Dressy shoes at work just make you in charge!
One GG I work with was talking about how she didn’t like to wear heels because of the noise they made in the halls. Because she is short, she didn’t want everyone to think she was just trying to be taller. I told her, “No way, the sound of heels in the hall means your the boss! That’s one of the funnest sounds in the world.” She just laughed and said I wore heels better than she did.
I just love the clip pity clop of heels! I love the posture and what they do to my walk! I have a tip for all of you girls. I write a number on the bottom of all of my shoes. That number represents how many hours I can wear them before they start to kill me! Hugs
Diane
A perfect outfit that you have accessorized so well. Can’t see the shoes but I bet you could dress the outfit up or down depending what shoes you choose. So stylish and cute – ready for a day at the office or a night on the town. You are such an inspiration! Hugs – Melody
Melody, thank you so much for that! Being able to dress up or down an outfit can be so helpful! Hugs
Diane
Diane, you never fail to knock my socks off. It seems you grow more beautiful with each picture.
That comes as quit a complement coming from you! Thank you so much!!!
Hugs
Diane
Hi Diane! Super outfit with everything so well matched up and coordinated. Way to go girlfriend! XOXOXO Scarlett
Thank you Scarett! I just love to feel great in the cloths I am in!!
Hugs
Diane
Dianne,
Your outfit is gorgeous and you are too.
Kerri
Awww, Thank you honey!
Hugs
Diane
You look fabulous!
Thank you honey! I feel that way, truly I do. Hugs Diane