DO YOU HAVE OPEN AND HONEST COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR PARTNER / SIGNIFICANT OTHER ?

Many years ago a took a course in sociology.  Attending various supervisor/leadership type schools while in the Air Force, we would always have a block of instruction on counseling.  My wife has a master's in family counseling.  I think this helps us to be able to communicate with each other and be empathetic to each others concerns or problems. 

At the end of my work day, she wants to know all the things that happened and then in turn, I let her tell me all about her day.  We share the good and the bad with open ears and open minds.  

Open and honest communication on every topic, except one…it’s DADT 😢

So I voted No.  While the topic of crossdressing comes up, it's usually me initiating the conversation.   When I do my wife's body language, tone of voice and demeanor say this is nit something I have any desire to talk about but if I have to I will.  In turn, I become less comfortable talking about it and cut the conversation short.  So the openness and transparency tend to go out the window.

Initially I wasn't... I had some bad experiences in a previous relationship that made me a little hesitant to bring up anything about crossdressing or sexuality. But I couldn't hide forever, and I fully trust my wife, so eventually I told her and it feels like we've grown even closer together because of it 😊

Absolutely!  Since I came out to my wife I have nothing left to keep from her.  She has some reservations about some of the things I want to do regarding dressing, but I can dress up at home whenever and however I like.  We're going on 22 years of marriage and we're still in love.

XO - Julia

I had to say No.  I know she doesn't know about Fiona, I'm not sure but sometimes think she suspects, but we don't talk about it so it feels like we're in DADT by default.  The Talk is on my radar for later in the year, which will at least ensure that she knows, but may just end up confirming the DADT.  On other things we can talk openly, at least from my point of view, but we don't seem to have to have those sorts of conversations very often.

Hey Ladies,

My answer is “yes”. I am fully out to my wife and (I know) I am so lucky that she is supportive.  I am basically dressed all the time at home and it does not really feature in our conversation anymore, it’s just normal.  I guess the only time I talk about my dressing is when I check if my bra can be seen beneath my shirts/jumpers when I am in outer drab mode.

Hugs

Christine

Absolutely!

IMHO, communications is one of the cornerstones of every successful marriage.

Moreover, I discuss my crossdressing with my wife on a daily basis. 

I don't go on about it anymore, it's just one of those things that we do together, or me alone. I dress, don't dress, it's up to me but sometimes the wife is surprised if I haven't that particular day (I usually dress at least in a boho skirt for evening meal). We talk about girly clothes, makeup and jewellery, she used to suggest outfits she thought I'd like but that isn't necessary anymore as I have found my own style. She taught me makeup and I don't need her help with that anymore either but I do occasionally give her tips that I've found by looking at Youtube videos, she has also started wearing makeup again and has got a new-found interest in it since I started. As mentioned in another thread, we have now been out in public together and I will be going to the theatre en femme with her. So, I guess I can quite easily answer 'yes' to the poll question. Considering I really only started doing this last September (2023), I suppose we can say it has all gone rather well; I just wish everybody could have this with their SOs as it's rather heart-breaking to read that some people have to sneak around with their feminine side. Perhaps one day it will all be perfectly acceptable but I think it won't be in my lifetime -- and that's in the UK where pretty much anything is acceptable in the right circumstances.

My answer is YES - re: CD'ing though, it was not always that way. Many years spent hiding (my side) and ignoring (her side). I finally fully came out to her about 3+ years ago and there was a period of uncomfortable, awkward discussions, tears (mostly on my side) and acknowledgement that this was something that was inherently part of me that had been buried since my childhood. Therapy helped, and really the fact that we both love each other and are committed to our relationship (over 40 years together ;). Over time, fear grew into tolerance and now more acceptance. While I would not say that she actually embraces my crossdressing, nor does she want to see me dressed, she knows it is something I do for myself and listens when I want to talk about it. There is even a sense of humor about certain things and the lightness in our conversations has both of us feeling more relaxed, which is a remarkable improvement from where things started.

I voted yes. Three years ago she picked up my phone to look at something and found a few pictures of me dressed. So the conversation was initiated by having to explain who the person in the pictures was.

I told her at that point that I was a crossdresser and always had been. Several months later I had to have heart surgery, and while recovering in the hospital during Covid, I had to listen to the woman who has always resided inside me from birth. I always knew I was supposed to be a girl, and now the woman inside announced she wanted to be free. I told my wife that I realized I was more than a crossdresser, I was transgender, and needed to transition.

She wrestled with that knowledge and said it would be best if we separated and I found my own place.  She helped me find a place, helped me move, helped me with clothes and shoes, wanted to see my makeup and helped with that, also wanted to see how my bras fit. So she definitely was accepting but still said she needed time to get used to this new woman in her life.

After I had transitioned and was living and working as a woman, I developed a medical condition common to women and had to go to the ER. I met a lady doctor who had spent some time looking through my medical records. She told me many things about myself and asked many questions, including whether any of my doctors had ever mentioned intersexuality. My medical records showed what my chromosome levels are. She told me I had come in identifying as a transwoman and had something common to women, a urinary tract infection, probable due to my rather unique anatomy. She placed her hand on my knee and said, "Lauren, your chromosomes are XXY, you are an intersex female, you are a woman!"

That was last May, and I'm still finding out all I can about being intersex. Interestingly, my spouse is totally fine with this, saying I can't help who I was born as. We always talked with each other every day and we now get together almost once a week. She is fine being with me as the woman I am, now biologically and legally. We talk about clothes, makeup, hair, go shopping, out to eat, and everything else. We even wear the same kind of bra and are both a ladies size L so some clothes fit both of us.

Life is good, girls definitely have more fun!

Hugs girls,

Ms. Lauren M

My ex partner was 100% aware and more than supportive and still is as a friend. She actually encouraged it! We picked my name together she could tell how I felt inside daily. If everyone had that it would be a better world. I couldn't have gotten to where I have without her 

Alexis 

When I first began to crossdress actively I kept it a secret.That lasted about two weeks. The stress was way too much for me to handle, and I decided to come out letting the chips fall as they may. Even a negative response would have been better than the stress I was experiencing. As it turns out i am very glad I did not sell my wife short. She is fully accepting and supportive. In 42 years of marriage we have had many difficult times and challenges, but my crossdressing has not been one of them. I am very happy to say I am one of the lucky ones.

You certainly woke up early today Kris!