Dipping their toes in the water?

@rebeccabaxter The last time that I checked, there were about 80,000 CDH members in total. Many of them are dormant. From the comments by so many who post here, many CDs are shy or cautious enough to only dress at home. My guess is that that would carry over to being quiet on the forum, too, after joining.

Years ago, I was an elevated member on a huge community with many sub-groups. I was also curious about activity rates. I don't remember the exact figures now, but in one month, there were just under 80,000 unique IDs active - they had at least looked at something in this one sub-group. Visually, there were maybe 200 active viewers, though, at most. They may have posted or done something to indicate that someone was active.

That is not a high participation rate for a pretty large and focused group. Now, part of the reason why they may not have posted, say, a common question, was because I had compiled a list of informative posts that readers could find on their own. They did not have to post anything because they could find what they wanted and never come back. That is the nature of open, free forums. Maybe CDH has a good enough search engine that members don't need to be vocal here, too. They are good being just a lurker.

I, too, wish that more quiet members would be more active here because many of the girls have been dressing for a very long time. The experience that they have and skills that they have acquired could help so many other members just like them.

@rebeccabaxter 

Hi, Becca, good post. 

I was initially worried that, by joining, my secret would be out for all to see so did not go so far as to join.

I could not have been more wrong. On my second visit, I spent a bit longer exploring the site and decided that it looked safe. I could not have been more right!

The rest is history 😊

Allie 

@rebeccabaxter 

Trying to build up courage to do my next post. I have never participated in any social media sites basically keeping myself to myself. Barbara wants to phone a makeup service in Leicestershire but the male part of her stops her. I hope I will win I only need time.

@rebeccabaxter I was a lurker for a number of years but then came back to learn from others and share my own experiences.   This happened as my situation changed and my circumstances evolved,  and I became more comfortable with and compelled to express my femininity.

@rebeccabaxter I have now been a member for almost 2 years now. I had joined a few years earlier as the same name, spelled differently. It was again “tipping the toe”. At the time not much was going on, and my interest had waned. I dropped off and forgot about CDH. Then a few years ago I was searching for help, not photos, not chatting or sexting but real help that could answer my questions about myself. I found CDH once again. It had grown into what I now needed and maybe so had I.
I found CDH to be more informative and enjoyable. A sisterhood that is able to answer questions we all need to ask, but never really knew we could. A place where we can be confident in being ourselves. Sisters that are more than willing to help those that are going through the same situation that they themselves have been through.

Coming back to CDH was the best decision I have ever made.

@rebeccabaxter I went to sign up several times before I actually did

@rebeccabaxter 

Hi Becca, thanks for raising the topic. I guess there are many reasons why there are so many (apparently) dormant members, but I suspect trying to figure it out would involve quite a bit of conjecture.

In my own case it was about 4 years ago that I first found CDH (I have no idea now how I found it) and created an account. But after that I did very little on it - maybe logged on once in a blue moon but didn't post anything. I think the reason was that my circumstances meant I was no longer able to crossdress for a few years, so my interest in CDH was at a low ebb. Then a bit over a year ago my crossdressing opportunities began to open up and, with it, my interest in CDH participation took off with a great surge. This experience may not, however, be typical 🤔 .

@rebeccabaxter

Posted by: @rebeccabaxter

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Did any of you come to this forum, full of trepidation and fear, only to withdraw after your first post and then come back to join in the wonderful world of cross-dressing  and CDH at a [much] later date, or could you not wait to introduce yourself to others like you?

When I joined in 2019, I was DONE hiding.  I needed to meet other girls and discover what came next.  So I jumped in with both feet and haven't looked back.  CDH changed my life.

Staff is aware that many members rarely engage with the site.  We're looking at ways to improve participation.  

/EA

@rebeccabaxter As many have mentioned, fear is one possibility. When I first joined another site, I lurked for about half a year, and then when I posted, I almost wanted someone to post afterwards so my name wasn't listed as the last post (and I didn't even use a real photo like I do here). By the time I came here, I was quite comfortable (although I never posted in the intro forum). I lurked for a bit until I understood what was going on, and then jumped in where I could contribute.

Another reason people could become inactive or quickly delete the account is that perhaps they were discovered (browser history or 'caught' by their SO) and quickly abandoned the site.

Still another reason was one that I came across two or three times one month. Someone joined the site, didn't fill out their profile, didn't make any post, didn't make an introduction, didn't thank anyone, and then made a friend request to me (and didn't PM me explaining why they were friending me). Technically they did nothing wrong on the site, and I did report the user a few times just to watch out for them (they were apparently targeting people in a certain area), but these were the few cases I rejected the friend request. It seemed to me that they were trolling rather than trying to legitimately use the site.

@rebeccabaxter

Hi Becca, I'm a lurker I suppose. No good reason other than I'm not a real social media person. It's a wonderful community and I value being an accepted part of it. Of course I'm also all about trepidation and fear - for sure! It'd be fun to be more "known" but I'm here for the long haul and I'm not a feet-first person; time will tell how I ultimately fit in - it's only been about three years so far 🙂

So as a lurker, I value your presence here and I'm paying attention, just in my introvert way.

Take care, Girl!

@rebeccabaxter I had previously spent most of my time on Reddit & made quite a few comments & offered suggestions to posts & enquiries. Many of these comments ended up being rubbished & or generally abused so I had pretty much given up interacting with, what I thought was my community. Once I found CDH & realised what a friendly & welcoming community it was I wanted to add my little bit, for what it's worth. Perhaps others have had similar experiences, I can easily see why it would put people off interacting.

@sallyj 

Hi, Sally.

Until now, I have never participated in any type of social media site. Second, joining to me was an affirmation and semi-public acknowledgement that I am a male who has strong feminine feelings.

Likewise! I've never been one for joining in with others, I always preferred to observe the interactions and dynamics of groups. No (anti) social media either for the bracketed reason!

However, finding this place has changed my life for the better. All my adult life I've had to hide the "secret" and believed myself odd. Not any more. To be able to share and discuss all things crossdressing has lifted a weight from my shoulders.

I hope (know) that you find it as wonderful as I do.

Allie 

@caroline2k 

Posted by: @caroline2k

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Another possibility (and I'm not accusing here!) is that they come here expecting some sort of pr0n or hook-up site. Maybe that's controversial, but I'm just saying

It's not controversial to recognize the obvious Caroline.  Staff sees them every day.  They never get far.

/EA

Posted by: @leah63

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Wow!  I did not realize we had 80K members!  just like any organization, most of the activity is done by 20% of the people or less.

That number was from the old forum, Leah. In this forum, the most active members list shows 2029, including new members of today. I don't know how that number is calculated, but active is in the name, so it may be related to whomever was active since the switchover. It certainly seems more up-to-date.