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Greetings everyone. I'm returning to the scene (if I may call it that) after a several year hiatus. I'll be 61 in a couple of months; been divorced and single for the last ten years living in NJ. I've hit a low point in life; I'm lonely, sad & confused. I need affection and want to give affection to the one who gets me. Hinging on the old cliche "If you can't beat them, join them," this is the crossroad I face; I don't know where to turn. I just want to be accepted, encouraged and loved. It's with every intention to be fully committed this time around. Any & every piece of advice any & all of you can provide I will be most grateful for.
Welcome back to CDH, Bobbi Jo!
I've hit a low point in life; I'm lonely, sad & confused.
To be honest, going to a relevant therapist should be considered seriously. Talk to a pro.
@bobbijo6305 welcome home to this wonderful family of women who will seek to understand you, encourage you, and love you! I’m relatively new here myself, but feel I’m here to stay due to all those things I’ve experienced here myself.
I do very much look forward to getting to know you.
Affectionately,
Elizabeth
@elizabethstone - Thank you so much Elizabeth. Looking forward to getting to know you as well. I greatly appreciate the support & encouragement!
Fondly,
BobbieJo
@bobbijo6305
Hey Bobbi Jo
Welcome to CDH 🙂
This is, first and foremost, a support site for the CD/TG community. I signed up for the first time last summer. At the time no-one knew about my crossdressing (nine months on, things have changed dramatically in that regard). Being here provided my first opportunity to talk freely with other girls. Although I currently live on my own I've never felt lonely - I enjoy my own company, and always have stacks of stuff to do - but it was wonderful for me to realise that there are SO MANY people like me out there. Talking to them has allowed me to sort out a great deal about my own identity.
You've described yourself as 'lonely, sad and confused'. Now you've joined us there's no need to feel lonely, and talking to us may help with everything else 🙂
Make the most of the site - post regularly in the Forums, join in on the Chat. Explore and have fun 🙂
This is a wonderful place.
Hugs
Ellie x
@ellyd22 - Thank you so much Ellie for the love, support and great advice. Thanks also for saying
Now you've joined us there's no need to feel lonely, and talking to us may help with everything else
This encourages me even more. Obviously I was upset the other day when I posted this but I'm in better spirits today. Your and all the comments above are greatly appreciated.
Hugs back,
BobbieJo
@bobbijo6305 Hi, Bobbi Jo, and welcome back. I've only been a member for a couple of months but this lovely place and the girls here have definitely changed my life for the better.
What a relief being able to discuss freely all things crossdressing and more! I don't do any other form of social media but the genuine warmth of everyone I've met here has inspired me to share stuff that nobody but my wife knows...and some more 🙄.
Now you've joined, you need not be lonely or sad. Confused might need a little work when you've read more of the posts, ha ha!
I hope the love you find here helps you to feel better about yourself and that goes a long way in engaging with the world at large. And engaging may bring new friendships, including perhaps,that special someone 😊.
Hugs
Allie x
@alexina - Dear Allie, I thank you so much for the support and encouragement. I'm in better spirits today then when I wrote this the other night. Already from yours reply, Ellie D's and eveyone else, I am feeling welcomed and yes - less lonely. It's good to have a wonderful support group like this; this is why I've come back. Thank you for saying:
I hope the love you find here helps you to feel better about yourself and that goes a long way in engaging with the world at large. And engaging may bring new friendships, including perhaps,that special someone
.
.I can't tell you enough what hope that brings me. Thank you ever so much!!
Hugs back,
BobbieJo
@bobbijo6305
Hi Bobbi Jo, welcome back to CDH.
You already know what a friendly and supportive site this is. You are not alone; you'll always have good people here to talk to, in safety and with acceptance. We are all part of a sisterhood, a community, and we are here for each other.
@jacquelinelarkspur - Thank you Jacqueline; very kind and uplifting words. Very much appreciated!
Welcome back Bobbi Jo. You are again among friends here and hope it makes you feel better once you share and we show we care.
I understand that aspect of life without having that special person. Having this secret was problematic to me back in my 'prime' it was always something I knew but couldn't bring myself to tell any current girlfriend as times were different and as a consequence relationships came and went. Once I was coming out I told one girlfriend and was dropped like a hot potato and another was very sympathetic and understood but other issues had to be considered and it wasn't to be although we are very good friends to this day.
I made a decision not to get involved as I was going further with the dressing and live full time. Like you I miss the intimacy of a relationship and appreciate what you say. I will make no bones it is hard, and probably harder for you as you did experience marriage. However it was my decision and I have to stand by it. I have got friendships with other women which are purely on that basis.
What I will say is that you never know what might come along as if you are only an occasional dresser you could get yourself out there, today there is a lot of dating sites, you could join clubs where mixed sexes go. There is a chance to meet friends and see where it goes. As much as people say that the older generation are less likely to accept dressing I have found that they are more accepting than the youth. At a certain age it isn't so much about intimacy it's about companionship and enjoying each others company.
Of course it may not happen overnight but can be fun trying and as they say, 'Seek and Ye shall find'
So Bobbi stop looking down and look up and outward, there's somebody out there for you and we're here to support you...
- @ab123 Angela, your thoughtful and longer than your usual reply is very empathic. You acknowledged Bobbi Jo's feelings and thoughts , her hopes and uncertainties, her situations now and passed. A respectful and commendable writing with candid "use of self." Only in your final paragraph did you direct, advise Bobbi Jo on an alternative outlook. No doubt she's not the sole person who will gain from your reply. 💐
@ab123 - Oh Angela thank you so much! Your words are comforting & reassuring; you made me cry with hope & joy. You seem to understand more where I'm coming from and where I've been. As several others have suggested, the more I engage here the less alone I'll be. I know its baby steps, one day at a time but to have everyone here "have my back" really inspires me.
Hugs dear,
BobbieJo
Hi Bobbi jo nice to meet you and not sure if I understand you right were you a former girl here or just returning to crossdressing from your time away from dressing.. Any way if you were a formal girl here welcome home as we always keep the porch light on so you know how to find your way home and please rekindle old friendships or start many new ones ..Then girl if not new here as a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. There is so much to see and do here from reading the forums and posts with a few profiles thrown in for fun so look around do some reading make some friends just have fun girl .. We are here to help just say hello anytime ..
Stephanie Bass
@fishingr8 - Thanks Stephanie so much! To clarify for you, I'm returning to crossdressing and hope to go all girl but not right away; in the future. For right now, I'm getting back into dressing and need/want to learn to do makeup, where to get shoes (my size) and all those things needed to be passable & pretty. I greatly appreciate your "open arms" and becoming a new sister of the family.
Hugs,
BobbieJo
Hi and welcome back Bobbi Jo!
Welcome back Bobbi Jo!
Alice
Welcome back Bobbi Jo,
This is my second time on here, I left and came back because the pink mist was too hard to resist, once a girl always a girl,
All the girls will help you anyway they can,
Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗
@rozalyne - Yes thanks Rozalyn. I'm definitely feeling the support & encouragement from all the girls.
Bobbi Jo, hello 💐! Gee, I admire your openness and willingness to "put it all out" here. Supportive , welcoming replies have arrived. More to follow, I'm sure. Do you know of a rock / blue eyed soul band mainly of the 1960s , "The (Young ) Rascals"? Their hit song "Lonely Too Long" came right to mind when I read your lament. "I've hit a low point in my life. I'm lonely, sad and confused." Freshly phrased in the present tense. I relate to some of your feelings and situation.
See, I've lived alone for seven years. Divorce was before 2010l; most of the decade was tumultuous. I retired a year ago after forty years of human services work. The first three months post-employed felt very strange,unsettling, not fun! Feelings changed for the better when I began volunteering a day or two each week in - for me - meaningful, satisfying and relationships- building activity. I joined CDH over a year ago and began going as Connie to CD - Trans ladies social events. Strength in numbers. Smiles, conversations, food and beverage, support, acceptance, laughs....all appreciated. So in closing, I know, believe, that as you request friendships, read and respond to forums, try out chats, sample the m a n y CDH resources, you'll begin feeling less lonely, likely less sad and maybe less confused. I'm so glad that you reconnected with CDH! Really. 🌹
@conniech - Thank you Connie so very, very much! I cannot say thank you to you enough. Your words are inspiring, encouraging, supportive and filled with sincerity; I feel it so much you made me cry reading this. Yes I do know the group The (Young) Rascals and their song "(I've Been) Lonely Too Long." Never realized it before, but the words are spot on for me. I too am from th 60's generation as I turn 61 in May. Here's a lyric version of the song from YouTube:
I'm hoping and looking forward to attending some of the socials, so long as they are not too far from home for me. I am looking forward to make new friends here and I hope you'll be one of them? Thank you for the flowers too 
, very sweet. As I've replied to a few others, I know it's baby step, one day at a time but eventually (I hope) it will be second nature.
Hugs,
BobbieJo
@bobbijo6305 Hugs to you for your response. It's full of positive statements! It tells of what you look forward to. It's encouraging to read.
My words made you cry? Big.Girls.Do.Cry🎶 Good for your tears🙂 Crying can sooth, release, refresh. Crying a lot and often can suggest an emotional, behavioral state deeper than feeling sad. I know that you know that.
What I didn't see in your first writing: I feel like nothing's going right; all I want to do is sleep; each morning brings regret...oh, another bad day's ahead; I don't like doing things that I used to like doing; eating doesn't appeal to me.... Those symptoms suggest clinical depression. None of that noticed by me.
Friends? We are now. Thanks a lot for the Young Rascals music! Yeah, the lyrics fit. You see that you can change. The past is behind. You're stepping (baby, toddler or kid steps) ahead in your new, your restored, Bobbi Joe.
🌹Connie
Bobbi Jo!
Welcome (back!) to CDH!
I think you will find the community helpful, encouraging and supportive.
I conflicted on my dressing for years, two years ago I said, why not full-time private, like you said, if you can't be them, join them and so I joined CDH too as part of that decision!
I have loved dressing full-time private, oh, way too much, truth be told!
Sorry you are in a tough spot in your life, hoping being a part of CDH can help you be less lonely, sad and confused.
I know as a private dresser being able to come here and be Catherine, well, very helpful and fun too!
Again, welcome to CDH!
Catherine
@catherine0918 Thanks for your warm greeting and encouraging support! It's kind of you to share your experiences & thoughts. After my rant when I posted my Greeting! message, I'm in a much better state. I've gotten an outpouring of love, support, friendship & encouragement plus the feeling of open arms and welcoming has melted my heart. Hope we can be friends in the days to come?
@bobbijo6305 I wouldn't call your post a rant, just a heartfelt expression of your feelings. I received your friends request, accepted and sent you a "brief" note, okay "Catherine brief" which may not be that brief, LOL! This is a very supportive place so glad you found us.
Welcome back Bobbi Jo! From one Jersey girl to another, I'm here if you need to chat.
@sophie85 Hello Sophia! I've always loved that name Sophia. Thank you so much! It's a joy to see yet another Jersey girl; us Jersey girls have to stick together LOL. Hope we can connect more? Looking forward to chatting with you soon. In the meantime, may I ask you to be a friend? Thanks again.
Welcome back Bobbi Jo! We are here for you-from another Jersey girl!!
@chanel
Hi Chanel! Thank you so much! Hope we can connect more? Us Jersey girls have to stick together. Looking forward to chatting with you soon. In the meantime, may I ask you to be a friend?
