First off, great topic!
Second to (try) and answer your question from my perspective.
– Initially hiding for me was because I really did not want anyone to know. I hid from family members, girl friends and now my wife (although she knows I like to dress at times) and kids. My kids however are all grown, 2 do not live with us, 1 does.
– When I told my wife my collection of things was not very big, I did not own much. That has changed in the last 2 years. Got to the point I could not hide certain things, shoes/boots primarily. Now I “hide in plain sight” if you will. Sometimes I am not certain if my wife really does not notice, she is not clueless, or just decides to look the other way.
– “Hiding in plain sight involves this……(IMHO)……doing so allows me to “come out” without me actually having to say anything. I’m not courageous enough to say it myself. So at times I think I purposely leave some items in relatively plain sight where they could be seen by her at times. Then she would be the one to say something. I know, that is awful and a sign of weakness. I don’t want to lose what I (we) have.
– When I do dress in my hybrid mode, I do have to do so in private. What is equally difficult is getting undressed in the evening. I have to be sure I do it quickly, and at a time where I am fairly confident I will not be interrupted, and caught by my SO. Again, cowardliness on my part.
I guess in short the “hiding thing” is more complicated than it may seem on the surface.
Love and hugs,
I don’t consider it cowardice at all.
I look at it as your trying not to break the hearts of people you love and not upset their whole life.
Thats called love and compassion.
xo -Robyn 🤗❤️