This is the Elephant in the room for many.
I don’t think any of us are experts in this field and the responses and experiences of others on this site will be testimony to that.
Knowing your wife as well as you do didn’t get the reaction you had hoped for. I think you understand yourself and what you need to satiate your inner desire. You have to know how far you want to go with this. What is your ultimate wish? If you do not know the answer then how can you be honest with your wife and plan ahead.
It is now for her to express her feelings and thoughts and for you to understand her. If you love her, as you say, it will be for her to lead and for you to work with her.
Times have changed and people will accept whatever label is applied and embrace it. People will appear ‘woke’ and say they have friends who are Crossdressers/Trans/ Non binary/Gender fluid. .
However it is still an Elephant in the room when it comes to having to live with it in a relationship.