Reply To: Do I want to be a F?

[Thea]

Hi!  I’ve dressed as a woman whenever I could since childhood.  Earlier this year it all just got too much and at long last I looked for help.  I now accept myself as a transwoman.  Where I end up on the journey I’ve started is yet to be seen, and I know it’s going to be a long one.  Accepting myself as being a woman inside though has been by far the biggest thing for me.  It may be of no help for you in your individual case, but these are the things that have really helped me  over the last six months.

1. Joining CDH.  Reading the posts, thinking about my own feelings and replies has really helped.  I’ve also made friends with a number of wonderful ladies (a number of whom have already “thanked” you!) and emailing them has been a huge comfort.  My counsellor (see below!) talks of a community of acceptance and these wonderful people have accepted me (despite my long rambling emails!) and I will be eternally grateful for their friendship.
2. I have read every blog/ upload about being trans I can, though the writings of Amanda Roman have been particularly moving.  She has encapsulated my doubts and fears (and certainties) and just reading that other people have been here before is such a relief.  You can read her uploads on the “Medium” app.
3. I’ve been lucky enough to have mentoring from a London based Clinic/charity for Trans questioning people.  Its been invaluable and shown me it’s OK to have doubts, It’s OK to be unsure how far I can go (there is no question of “am I trans enough?”) and that for me the most important thing was to discover who I really feel I am.  I’ve no idea if something similar is available to you but I’d strongly recommend it.  Having said that since it finished I have been speaking with a general counsellor (I checked they were OK with gender issues) and that too has been marvelous.

I’ve no idea if this is of any use: but I do hope so.  For me living in secret and in constant doubt was incredibly lonely, and now I really have friends I can talk to.  Its a long process: but I think talking (or emailing!)  really does help!  if it would be of any use please don’t hesitate to message me.

Very best wishes,

Hugs Thea