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I don’t want to be a woman but I would love the chance to appear as a woman. Sadly, nature has arranged things differently and I have to work with the cards I’ve been dealt. Even presenting as a male causes me a little self criticism (I’m not God’s gift) but that’s nothing to how I feel about my femme ambitions.
I know I shouldn’t indulge in regrets and what-ifs. “Why didn’t I start when I was younger?”, “Why isn’t there free major facial surgery for CDs?” etc. But here we are.
I wish I looked more androgynous, able to move between gender appearances at will. Fluidly as it were. The girl I feel like can never be the girl I look like. I’m a secret dresser but it still bothers me, It’s not as if I want an audience. Well, maybe here, but there are other reasons why I don’t post photos.
For a while I thought my dressing would evolve into a more unisex look, a bit of both, which would perhaps suit my looks better. Ooh no, I have a girly-girl side that won’t be silenced, bless her. She spends my money on the most feminine clothes and it makes me feel wonderful. Oh well, pass the doll’s mask…I want her to look her best tonight.
Lots of love, Amy x
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