• Creator
    Topic
  • #43168
    cdheaven
    Founder
    Registered On: September 18, 2015
    Topics: 1411
    Replies: 3924
    Has thanked: 0 times
    Been thanked: 6897 times

    I have been seeing a therapist after my divorce.  Divorce wasn’t because of CD.  In our last discussion, I really opened up about where I was in my CD journey.  She said I was transgender. I have only really thought of myself as a crossdresser. I am heterosexual and don’t have any urge to transition. So, I did some online research and see there is a WIDE variety of definitions on who is transgender from CD is a part of transgender to they are two totally separate things.  I am not trying to stir up any controversy, but was curious about everyone’s opinion.  Thanks!

    Hugs,

    Georgia

Viewing 22 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #592763
      Michelle Bailey
      Lady
      Registered On: July 17, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 178
      Has thanked: 7994 times
      Been thanked: 814 times

      Hi girls I am secret crossdresser and have been for over 40 years before that it was just trying on mum’s and other girls undies ,so in that 40 years I bought all manor of female clothing but never got a lot of time to crossdress ,purged what I had purchased only like most started up again now during that time I always dreamt of living full time as a female but with a lovely wife and three daughters no chance ,now this last 12 months have been able to underdress nearly 75% of the time buy more and more lovely undies so this has given me even more yearning to live full time as a female ,will it ever happen I don’t think so ,therefore I will carry with my life as it is knowing that I am wearing my lovely bras and panties etc and that I am the only one that knows I am living out my female dream    Michelle xx

      8 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592754
      Carla Roberts
      Lady
      Registered On: July 28, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 60
      Has thanked: 132 times
      Been thanked: 311 times

      It is so unfortunate that we need to be classified and labeled according to someone else’s definitions. I consider myself to be somewhere on the trans spectrum, but crossdressing or gender non-conforming is more accurate based on how I live.
      It is I,portent for us to live as much as possible, as we please, only adhering to definitions and characterizations, as it suits our individual lives and purposes. I am retired, and free to live as I please, I am still not without some restrictions and cultural expectations, but freely violate these norms, as I please, not thinking much about how to characterize myself too tightly, into any definition.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592741
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 788
      Has thanked: 17408 times
      Been thanked: 2831 times

      I consider myself a cross dresser. I love my male life. I have a wife I’m crazy about after nearly 38 years. (No she doesn’t know yet) I just really like to be very feminine, and feel pretty at times. Really love when that fog comes! The calming effect is splendid! I don’t have the dysphoria that some people describe, and have no desire to change.

      Check back in a couple years and we’ll see if there are any changes in my feelings.

      😆Lara💕

      • This reply was modified 5 months ago by Lara Tucker. Reason: Emoji
      8 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592740
      Sylvia
      Lady
      Registered On: October 10, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 674
      Has thanked: 16793 times
      Been thanked: 2814 times

      I don’t like labels.
      I consider us all to be Rainbow-Girls.
      For me the “label” is Androgynous , half male , half Female.
      But never at the same time.
      Out of the house , at work : male.
      At home : Female as much as I can.
      For me this is the perfect balance.
      My Femme side has gained in strength the past two years.
      Specially since being here on CDH.
      I love being here and interacting with the other girls ,
      finally able to talk about my dressing and girly stuff with
      all you lovely Ladies here.
      I hope it will long continue !

      Love Sylvia.

      8 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592645
      Mia Mor’e
      Baroness
      Registered On: June 27, 2021
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 112
      Has thanked: 170 times
      Been thanked: 596 times

      I am a crossdresser. I have no desire or plans to transition. I am a hetero male with an amazing wife, who just happens to love expressing my feminine side with clothes, makeup, high heels, and long flowing hair!

      8 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592638
      Elise Michelle
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 3, 2018
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 357
      Has thanked: 482 times
      Been thanked: 1406 times

      This thread reminds me of an old joke: “What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans woman? A: About two years.”

      But all kidding aside, I was listening to a podcast with Savannah Hauk, a crossdressing advocate and author, and she made a great point. Crossdressing is an act, not an identity. People crossdress for many different reasons. Comedians, singers, dancers and drag queens, all crossdress as a form of artistic expression. Transgender people crossdress as a means of reconciling their self identity with cultural gender norms. Some crossdressers do it for sexual gratification. And many (myself included) do it for a sense of emotional gratification. Humans are extremely complex beings and there are a multitude of reasons we do what we do.

      I think what is most important is being honest with yourself (and if you’re in a relationship, with your SO). If you need to give yourself a title, try for something more descriptive than “crossdresser;” because it’s such a broad category that it could include anyone from RuPaul to Milton Berle.

      Savannah describes herself as “dual gender,” which is a term I kind of like. I’m perfectly comfortable presenting as a man. I like my male self. I have no gender dysphoria. However, I also enjoy presenting as a woman and have always had a strong desire to be one. I have no interest, however, in presenting as androgynous or as an efeminite male. It’s either full on “manly gentleman” or full on “girly woman.” So, I kind of feel like this “dual gender” description works for me. I guess what’s important is finding out what works for you!

      Hugs,
      Elise

      • #592735
        Geraldine Mac
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: July 11, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 49
        Has thanked: 131 times
        Been thanked: 216 times

        Thanks Elise. I love your phrase ’emotional gratification’. That rings so true for me.

        Zsazsa

        2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #592717
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 27
        Replies: 286
        Has thanked: 433 times
        Been thanked: 1721 times

        Love everything you say here. Just a few weeks back, I was trying to do a more androgynous look, but the title isn’t for me, as I feel when I’m in guy mode, I’m feel all guy, but have been filling in my brows with makeup, wearing mascara, but doing it to enhance my guy mode vs. change it to feminine. However, when I’m in girl mode, definitely more into being super girly. LOL.

        6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592636
      Brielle Ross
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 409
      Has thanked: 2047 times
      Been thanked: 1810 times

      I suppose it could be looked at as if one person has their toe dipped in the water versus someone totally submerged that they are not really both swimming – but they ARE both at the pool. IMO anyone who crossdresses is on the transgender spectrum. It’s just a matter of degree.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592623
      Debbie Lynn
      Lady
      Registered On: July 26, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 142
      Has thanked: 921 times
      Been thanked: 774 times

      Hi Georgia, this is an endless question! It’s a thousand points of lights as we all have our perceptions & understandings of these labels.

      Simply for me, I’m not sure what label applies to me. I do know I’m really a woman inside my heart and my head. I know the deep satisfaction & happiness of presenting my exterior as female.

      Love everyone’s comments. They are all equally interesting & valid. This is why I love CDH! Hugs, Debbie Lynn

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592620
      Wilma
      Lady
      Registered On: July 24, 2021
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 198
      Has thanked: 1404 times
      Been thanked: 812 times

      Well this is a can of worms is it not.

      Do I cross dress to attract a man….No ( I don’t like my own meat and 2 veg without thinking or touching someone else’s)

      Do I cross dress  for my own pleasure…Yes (Selfish as it may seem I aim to satisfy No 1)

      Whilst dressed en femme  do I wish I had the correct the appropriate fittings…No (At my age everything would be either saggy or soggy).

      So by my own non scientific experiment I am not transgender but a Cross dresser.

      Hugs X

      Wilma.

      8 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592618
      Chelseyw
      Registered On: December 4, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 7
      Has thanked: 12 times
      Been thanked: 45 times

      I don’t feel there is any one correct answer. It is just such a large umbrella of labels we all fit under. I am married and am very attracted to my wife and enjoy being intimate. When I see a beautiful woman part of me gawks at her like a typical guy and the other part says I wonder if I’d look as good as her in that outfit. (probably not!) lol. The world is so much more open about these things now it’s hard to say who is and who isn’t trans, bi, etc. I garuntee there is many more people with at least bicurious that will never admit it. With dressing we take a step so people automatically assume we are gay. I can honestly say I am bicurious, I wonder what it would be like to have a man make love to me.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592603
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 677
      Has thanked: 3920 times
      Been thanked: 3283 times

      Sure, I think you can have CD on one side and Transgender on the another.

      However, I think the more you try and push them away from each other, the harder it is to do so. There sure is a connection between the two no matter how far apart you can push them!

      I have more questions than answers, at the moment. I’m quite confused about my location on the spectrum. This is why I’m here, at least partly.

      What I do know is that the friends I’ve made so far have way better questions than I have answers for me to muddle over.

      Obi-Wan was right! Put the blast helmet on, tune everything out and “Stretch out your feelings!”

      One things for sure, it’s a hell of a ride!

      Love, Barb 🙂

       

      8 users thanked author for this post.
      • #592708
        Anonymous
        Topics: 0
        Replies: 0
        Has thanked: 0 times
        Been thanked: 0 times

        HI Barb where you see yourself say in couple years doing the samething or wanting to do more. Understand you taking HRT now right

        Donna

        4 users thanked author for this post.
        • #592729
          Barb Wire
          Duchess - Annual
          Registered On: September 16, 2021
          Topics: 15
          Replies: 677
          Has thanked: 3920 times
          Been thanked: 3283 times

          38 EE

          🙂 🙂

          3 users thanked author for this post.
          • #592731
            Anonymous
            Topics: 0
            Replies: 0
            Has thanked: 0 times
            Been thanked: 0 times

            Nice 38 c for me shooting for D or DD

            3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592556
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      Did a post back on Dec 4th title was phase or solution Pretty sure this will clear some up.

      I have finally crossed over to a more advance transition and have no regrats at all When did go through cd it was solution for me. Some told me was just phase.

      I think that every transgender person went through a phase of crossdressing. True, or not? When someone is identified as a transgender person, one of the first recommendations is experiment living in the gender of preference for some time, usually an year, before engaging in HRT and SRS. Crossdressing is the most common way to go. And some transgender people find crossdressing as the perfect solution for a balanced lifestyle. A compromise that fulfills their desired lifestyle. So in crossdressing a final solution? For how many of you  crossdressing was just a phase in the path towards a more advanced balance on life?

      Hugs Donna

      9 users thanked author for this post.
      • #592725
        Michelle Allen
        Lady
        Registered On: December 12, 2021
        Topics: 5
        Replies: 5
        Has thanked: 7 times
        Been thanked: 137 times

        Nicely said.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592554
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 543
      Has thanked: 2068 times
      Been thanked: 2545 times

      This is a question that has been debated, I’m sure, since those words were first invented.  Like others here, I happen to fully believe (and I will state that I seriously doubt anyone not experiencing what we are can even begin to fully understand it, scientific research notwithstanding) that there is a very wide spectrum of people who are somewhere on the spectrum of whatever one wants to consider what gender dysphoria really is.

      The real question is, and one I think is almost impossible to come to grips with, is do you want to consider yourself unique in that it’s hard to place you into some highly defined group…or do you want to belong to what you feel is group of very like-minded individuals who have defined a term you feel comfortable with, that possibly can exclude others who don’t share as many or as similar values that you do.

      I think it’s great to belong to a group.  Unfortunately, groups can get big enough that some may want to tighten the definition of who gets in.  Or worse, look askance at those who join other groups.

      I personally have never understood what’s going on when I read, on occasion, about some of the infighting that seems to go on between and among the various L G B T Q I + groups.  If we all can’t agree to get along together and accept and support each other, how can we possibly expect those outside that spectrum to also accept us.

      I also think that there are 7 billion+ individual points on the spectrum that defines human life.  But that’s just me. I can believe, and accept, that 6+ billion others may think a little differently.

      • This reply was modified 5 months ago by ChloeC.
      9 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592550
      Cerys Burton
      Lady
      Registered On: February 2, 2021
      Topics: 64
      Replies: 208
      Has thanked: 209 times
      Been thanked: 1628 times

      I’m with you on this one. I’m not transgender. I’m male. I have no urges to transition. I do often live a large percentage of my time crossdressed, but I remain a man in a dress. Obviously I’m trans friendly and supportive, as I all all who are on the LGBTQ spectrum.
      Transgender folk have a whole load more issues to contend with. We just have dressing as a woman, and lord knows, that brings enough issues.
      We can get changed and most of our problems go away. Trans folk do not have this luxury.

      Some say we do fit under the T umbrella, but I think we don’t as only our clothing changes. Our gender doesn’t. We are not trans-gender, we are trans-vestites cross clothing.

      Cerys

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592546
      Carole Corbett
      Ambassador
      Registered On: September 5, 2016
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 96
      Has thanked: 128 times
      Been thanked: 383 times

      In the most simplest of examples I would say that may people think of it as a light switch…you are one or the other.  I see it more like a dimmer switch where the intensity either way can vary and it can change over time.  As my therapist said just focus on today and where you are…don’t worry about what could happen tomorrow.  Enjoy where you are now as tomorrow may never come!  Hugs. Carole

       

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592545
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1007
      Has thanked: 3745 times
      Been thanked: 4686 times

      Crossdresser versus Transgender? Maybe the WWF could hold a ‘once and for all’ decider in a no holds barred encounter….

      8 users thanked author for this post.
      • #592718
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 27
        Replies: 286
        Has thanked: 433 times
        Been thanked: 1721 times

        LOL. Count me in! I don’t know what side, but count me in! LOL

        5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #592714
        Anonymous
        Topics: 0
        Replies: 0
        Has thanked: 0 times
        Been thanked: 0 times

        Oh can I be part of the Divas

        Donna

        5 users thanked author for this post.
        • #592726
          Barb Wire
          Duchess - Annual
          Registered On: September 16, 2021
          Topics: 15
          Replies: 677
          Has thanked: 3920 times
          Been thanked: 3283 times

          10 |THANKS|

          However many your want! You’ll kill ’em all!

          LOL!!

           

          4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #592575
        Anonymous
        Topics: 0
        Replies: 0
        Has thanked: 0 times
        Been thanked: 0 times

        will this be a cage match lol

        5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #592568
        Barb Wire
        Duchess - Annual
        Registered On: September 16, 2021
        Topics: 15
        Replies: 677
        Has thanked: 3920 times
        Been thanked: 3283 times

        LOL!!

        You just sit and make yourself comfortable. I’ll get our drinks and popcorn.

        Hugs, Barb 🙂

         

        5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #592409
      Celeste Starre
      Lady
      Registered On: June 26, 2018
      Topics: 49
      Replies: 1378
      Has thanked: 382 times
      Been thanked: 5051 times

      I think it’s a bit tricky. I’ve known several cross dressers who said they would never transition  that did in fact go on to transition. There is the potential in all of us to go full time given the right circumstances but most will not.

      • #592720
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 27
        Replies: 286
        Has thanked: 433 times
        Been thanked: 1721 times

        This is seriously where I’m at right now mentally. There are also various degrees of transition… what is the end game? There are many trans I imagine that feel fully transitioned, but didn’t do any surgery, or did partial, or went all the way but didn’t do boobs. I don’t know. I’m not there yet, but I can’t say “never” anymore.

        Now, if someone could guarantee I’d be as passable as Jennifer Lopez or Megan Fox when I’m done, well… that might push me to really think about the next step.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
        • #592727
          Anonymous
          Topics: 0
          Replies: 0
          Has thanked: 0 times
          Been thanked: 0 times

          My end game is knowing will never happen but medical need to step up faster so transgender woman can actually feel the experience of having children. Oh since having surgery be the first time and last time will experience the monthly flow. Oh depending on what wanting to be done and can afford can a perfect 10 if wanting it. I will take the perfect 7 or 8 . Just needing to get rid of some extra pounds after holidays.

           

          3 users thanked author for this post.
          • #592733
            Carmen Cruz
            Lady
            Registered On: September 12, 2021
            Topics: 27
            Replies: 286
            Has thanked: 433 times
            Been thanked: 1721 times

            I was researching about HRT and how it redirects fat to more feminine areas on your body… but UM, where the hell is it going to take fat from in the first place on me???? There’s nothing to re-direct!!!!!! LMAO

            2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #592736
            Anonymous
            Topics: 0
            Replies: 0
            Has thanked: 0 times
            Been thanked: 0 times

            be surprise where fat is stored and goes elsewhere.

            2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #592732
            Carmen Cruz
            Lady
            Registered On: September 12, 2021
            Topics: 27
            Replies: 286
            Has thanked: 433 times
            Been thanked: 1721 times

            Well, if you need to get rid of the extra pounds, send them my way as a xmas present… I seriously need boobs and ass. I have zero extra pounds to shed. LMAO.

            3 users thanked author for this post.
          • #592734
            Anonymous
            Topics: 0
            Replies: 0
            Has thanked: 0 times
            Been thanked: 0 times

            ok sounds good to me my excuse is from the surgery but first of year be able to do more. Once sat comes and go will send them your way. LOL

            1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #592395
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      I think that there’s a cross-dressing spectrum, ranging from those who simply enjoy wearing women’s clothes to those who need to transition, with every shade of pink between. You can’t pin it down, it means different things to different people.

      Back when I was self-analysing, I came across a guy called Blanchard (I think) who maintained that all CDs were either gay (trying to attract a man) or wanting to be female. Total B*ll*cks.

      It’s clear just from reading posts on this site that we come in all flavours, gay, straight, bi, trans, whatever.

      Just kick back and enjoy.

      Connie
      xxx

    • #592391
      Cece X
      Lady
      Registered On: April 8, 2020
      Topics: 20
      Replies: 116
      Has thanked: 2293 times
      Been thanked: 721 times

      The confusion is understandable. Because I live this, i am clear that I am a crossdresser and am not transgender.
      A close friend is a therapist. He does not get it at all. He believes all crossdressers are homosexual. Well, in my case this is true, but this is not a universal truth. His only other personal context is that his current girlfriend divorced her husband because she learned he was a crossdresser.
      It is difficult for us to understand ourselves. It must be even more challenging for outsiders to understand us. Not even therapists — or their girlfriends — all get it.

    • #43324
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      For me I suppose crossdresser is an approprite term since I enjoy both male and female roles in my life. I can understand the mindset of a tg which I know lots but prefer still to live both roles. When I am in my girl mode I am 100 percent female in actions and behavior including the dating of men. There are no easy ways to categorize this but dont want to be permanent in any one role at this stage. Just enjoy and be happy.

    • #43196
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      I consider myself a crossdresser who does not wish to transition, mainly because I like my life and have no desire to blow it up. I crossdress because I have a strong feminine side that I like to express. That I need to express. Does that make me transgendered?  I would think so. This is all really hard to make any sense of sometimes.

    • #43177
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      Georgia even within our ‘community’ the definitions of “who is what” varies.  Then add to that the fact that terminology is used differently in different countries.  Then there are those who, within a so-called community, seek to isolate or differentiate between members of the community and choose labels to do so.

      A while back I voiced my opinions. I got some positive feedback and, as is natural, some negative feedback. These days, I don’t really care ‘what’ I am called, I care only if someone seeks to exclude me or not.

      My original post is also in the forums:

      In my mind, I am ‘transgender’ but I don’t really care what others think, only don’t make the mistake of calling me “just a crossdresser” for that really does annoy me!

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/what-is-in-a-name-or-terminology-at-least/

      9 users thanked author for this post.
    • #43174
      melissa la quinta
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2016
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 116
      Has thanked: 834 times
      Been thanked: 346 times

      Well, not sure how much specialized training your therapist has had, but I think many experts feel that CD’s are NOT necessarily well-defined as transgender. In my community, most folks who are about to or are actually into transitioning from one sex to the other (HRT, surgery, etc) refer to themselves as transgender. While heterosexual crossdressers are often considered to be under the “umbrella” of transgender, it’s a very different state of being. Taking myself as an example, I am a crossdresser but have no desire to fully transition. I will probably soon be able to dress completely and go out as a woman, and that is about as far as I want to take things (except I may eventually want to be intimate with another CD). I guess that makes me a “mostly” heterosexual CD, maybe a teensy bit bisexual but I would only want to be with another CD or TG, as opposed to a gay male. Make any sense?

Viewing 22 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

If you don't see the captcha above please disable ad and tracking blockers and reload the page.