- This topic has 6 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 6 years ago by
.
- Posts
Hello there fellow CDs!
As you read in the title, I’m getting away from this site for good. Let me tell you first the reasons i have and of course my latest experience.
Im a straight CD, 21 yo, in a relationship with this beautiful and lovely woman. My adventure in the CD world started a few months ago, although I did it already while i was growing up through all my childhood.
And one day i was there in my red lips, my new thong, my favorite skirt, my brand-new matching bra and a nice shirt. I felt so pretty. After a while i made a pause to go the bathroom, but as i was in there, my Girlfriend came home. I tried to lie, to fool her, but there was so many things in the house that it would’ve been impossible. So i told her the truth.
As many would’ve reacted, she freaked out. She felt angry, sad, disappointed, betrayed and repeled by me.
She really hated me at that time.
We had this fight for hours. And then she actually accepted me and told me she loved me despite everything. She was not happy but she said she could be ok with it if that’s what i wanted.
The thing is: I DIDN’T! AND I DON’T! I hated me too at the time. I hated the way she felt because of me. I hated that even then she was so nice with me. And I was sure of one thing then. I REALLY LOVE THAT WOMAN! And I don’t want her to live with any of this. I don’t want her to accept my mistakes, i don’t want her to deal with the idea of getting home and not knowing if there will be her Boyfriend or his female self the one answering the door.
I love her and i want the best for her. I want what she deserves. So that’s why I’m saying goodbye to Emily Russell.
I know this should never be published. After all, this site is about giving people courage and inspiring to keep this habit. Not telling about how to get it over. But I thought people would like to hear my story and some will understand.
With a deep love to this wonderful community,
Goodbye my friends.
Always yours,
Raul Suarez. The male self of Emily Russell.
First, thanks for posting – it’s a unique post. You have to do what is truly best for you. And your choice is best for you. Many of us understand. We’re open enough to accept CDs, we’re also open enough to accept choices to stop dressing too, makes many of us a unique open minded group.
I’ve been a CD for years, married to a woman who knows, tries understands, but doesn’t really accept. Every time she sees any part of my CD side, I see a certain twinge of pain, disgust, bewilderment, and avoidance. Those feelings of hers hit me hard, and I wonder Why do I keep doing this, I don’t want to hurt her, Why can’t I stop, It would be so easy if I wasn’t a CD. I don’t want to stop, but I do know that this world and site have positively opened my mind in so many ways that I’ll always cherish what I’ve learned here, and how much I’ve grown as a person here.
I admire that you’re making such a courageous decision at such a young age. Take care, hope all works out well for you!
While I agree that the site seems to “promote” gender fluidity, I think the real reason for its existence is support for individuals regardless of whether or not they think they should participate.
i spent 20 years in self-imposed non-participation, and with enough alcohol and other substances, was able to conform to the expectations of society. Moody and a bit irrational, but at least to my wife and the outside world I was just an ordinary, a**hole man. Functional to say the least.
well, that all changed about 3-4 years ago, and realized that life is just too short.
I am a lot more empathetic and patient now, and feel much better as a human being.
your mileage may vary, but it is unusual to be able to control these feelings to such a degree.
I support your decision and wish you the best, but my personal experience in “stopping” delayed my maturity as a human being by a decade or more.
I truly hope your decision doesn’t turn out the same way.
Best of luck Emily. Not to be a negative Nancy but I purged and quit completely in 93 for a few years and 2004ish for about 5 years. I may quit again, who knows. But this place and most of us will be here if you or I return. Everyone is at different places on that spectrum and at different stages in our lives. I truely wish you the best. The fact that she was somewhat accepting is good long term.
Good luck, I many girls on here share a similar story, basically if you are not gay and meet a lovely lady this whole idea of crossdressing does not feel right in front of them. If you are lucky and have an accepting wife go for it but most of us don’t. I am sure many of us have purged and shall do so again. Goodbye x
- The forum ‘Personal Crossdressing Stories’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments