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I have been crossdressing a very long time with a very supportive SO, but this Caitlyn business is a topic that has been discussed………..I think every SO somewhere in their mind will wonder—“do you wan to be a woman?”……..In most of our cases, the answer is NO……..but what proof can we offer ? I am a bit more lucky because I am older and the thought of transition is not very likely, but for younger souls, that fear has to be a nagging question for any SO.
I believe the Caitlyn did NO positive service to our community, and only provided a fear in our SO’s that really there is no actual rebuttal that would satisfy the SO.
He should have just lived his life without the big public disclosure for all to see.
When Mikki gets all of her glam on….even a very supportive wife may have those inner feelings that her spouse may want to bust loose and be a woman……….even with the protesting not wanting that……….
I know trust, and knowing your spouse solidifies your relationship–but does the spousal fear of the unknown EVER go away?
Is THIS the reason many spouses are very standoffish from our predication to being femme, even for limited times ?
Just curious how the community feels about this………….thanks
Mikki
Caitlyn Jenner who transitioned so ‘bravely and publicly’ did it for ONE reason only, a big heap of Television production rights and all those big fat capitalist $$$$$$ !!
She has done a lot of damage to our community, and as mentioned, has made wives and girlfriends think we are all about to go public, and be a massive embarrassing spectacle in front of strangers, but worse still friends and family.
She should have done less harm has she faded away from public life, and transitioned and then not used it for profit and to oil her obviously massive ego.
Imogen
X
My sentiments exactly
Mikki
Honestly, I don’t think she/he has helped or hurt the cause. People of this “class” do nothing for we the normal people.
People like that, privileged, no monetary restrictions who get a “pass” in life due to their status, have no real concept of how others like us need to “lurk” in the background.
We do not run in the same (self serving) circles as these people. They run with others who are just as screwed up and believe they are above all else. Sometimes I believe they get into these things not even realizing or caring what the side effects are. Sure, she may go out and give a speech on equality, or give some nominal amount of money to some charity, but in my view it is only so they can pat themselves on the back and say, “look what I did for the community”, when they are only doing it to make themselves feel good.
Sorry, but that is they way I see it.
R
Everything needs to be celebrity based and on television these days, 15 minutes of fame and all that. Don’t know much about Caitlin as I refuse to watch reality tv of any sort, the UK is obsessed with it. If the result of her much publicised surgery is all partners now think we are going to book our own then it can’t help. I have much sympathy for people who feel that’s what they want but as mentioned she did well out of it. Those who lose family, friends, homes and jobs they deserve compassion.
Donna x
Yes, I think it has hurt us. My SO often asks me if I want to transition. And my answer is always no. I don’t think she believes my response. I told her the is a broad spectrum of transgendered people in this world. I simple fall into the category if yo will as a crossdresser period. I just love having two sides to my personality. A male and a female. I sometimes love the female side more just for the fact that I can express my desires more such as the clothing I wear and the look I am after. I really have no intention of ever transitioning.
Lanna
Lana—I am with your response 100%-thank you
Mikki
My only issue was the Woman of the Year award and she was a man for most of that year. But I know alot of people had issues with that one also. Otherwise, don’t care. What floats her boat.
That is my issue with that as well. I can imagine that many GG’s were outraged at the way that went. I would of been too, if I was a GG.
Amy
I know this may be a dumb question, but I’m still learning all the acronyms and abbrevations. What is GG?
In the world of success the most sought after commodity is “attention” . It’s how Donny got in, it’s how all successes are won as I can see…
I believe that right now, as horrifffic as that wing nut president is doing, the “end result” is going to be him leaving any position of power an dour community will have become stronger and more organized and will absolutely rise higher and more free than we have ever experienced…I am honored to be a part of that struggle for growth and Freeedom.
I Am grateful to Caitlin because she stepped out and started a conversation that has created massive shifting of policies, rules, awareness and “Attention” around our community of the rainbow tribe.
Motivation, has some to do with all expansion of course, and if it’s true that we are all a part of a huge something else, like a universe or whatever, then, we need the push against, to grow the inner power to not break, but to bend and wait for the push to calm from pure exhaustion.
Recently, I was asked to be Mayor of our little town. I accepted and served for a year. Then, seeing that I was not able to create significant change, i chose to step down.
The person who was pushing against me so furiously was the deputy mayor, so when I stepped down, she became the new local queen hehe. Now, this past week, “she” stepped down exhausted from pushing in so many directions. I have enjoyed a calm, season of joy by simply continuing to be seen as a kind, sharing honest and helpful person as publicly as my courage will allow on any given day.
I Am grateful for each of you are participate in conversations that by simply reading them, hearing you and your thoughts, I Am expanded into more self love and seeing myself as normal…
Thank you for that my friends
Namaste’
Char
You voted for a reality tv star (no judgement from me not my country), Ukraine just voted for a comedian here in the UK we voted in clowns
What a messed up world.
Oh dear don’t tell me Charee I might need to up my dosage. Putin, the fella in Brazil, the great crocodile in Zimbabwe not to mention right wing parties gaining votes in Europe. I am going for a lie down in a darkened room.
Donna.
I think it has in see ways. After Caitlyn jenner came out, I believe more and more cds came out as well. As far as SO asking whether we want to transition or not was there way before Catelyn came out. I myself came out to my friends and family, before Catelyn did. And my SO at the time asked me if I really wanted to be a woman. Of course I said no. Cause I don’t want to or have the need to. Just like many of you I like my two sides. There are perks to both side.
Much luv to all of you
Cherrie
To be honest, I have not followed CJ. Other than being peripherally aware, I don’t care. I would say, use her going public as an opportunity to open an intelligent dialogue… which exactly what I think we’re trying to do here.
Just my 2 cents,
Stephanie xo
100% Agreed ; now if we join ranks and use this opportunity to be seen and heard a lot, we will become “normal” much sooner. I think everything that’s happening right now is creating a huge push back by the Rainbow tribe we are; once the resistance is tired of pushing, (soon) they will be subdued and fall silent…
I think it is a double edged sword. Certainly it could cause even more uncertainity for SO’s, but the plus is that it gave more press then could of been imagined to an issue that we have a big interest in. It might hurt some, but it also might benefit others, and perhaps there might be some long term pluses, in the form of better understanding, and acceptance in our Western, esp. NA, society. As there was lots of press about her here in Canada as well.
Amy
I think Caitlyn’s going public did a lot of good for the Transgender community!! I agree that the whole family’s nuts and that fact doesn’t help but when society she’s more people come out of the closet, the more accepting they become. It’s happened all thru history on other topics.
My SO doesn’t need Caitlyn, nor did she pay her any attention, to feel insecure where I will be in a year with my x-dressing. I do enough damage on my own!! My SO was very supportive for the first 3 months or so but she’s become more “researved” as she witnesses the changes within me. It’s s a part of me that has been with me since birth and it’s not going away now. I have dreamed most of my life to do sex reassignment surgery but at 58 yrs old, it’s a bit late now. I can however live as a woman which I have recently begun.
I tend to disagree. Bruce isn’t my favorite person by far but the face and name doesn’t matter. This day an age society has their head in the sand. The, CD etc.. are everywhere! Yet without someone of stature breaking the mold or ice we are doomed to live in closets. I hate drama and it will plague us all but society is learning we have feelings, good people and have rights. Way to go Caitlyn…. quote me and I deny it, lol. Just like clothes are just clothes, faces and names are a means to an ends.
Being a CD, I don’t Cat did anything for our community but maybe create doubt in our (lucky CD with a supportive wife) that made me work a little harder convince her I would not take her down that road..I am just a man who likes to look pretty
But I also have a trans child and I do believe it has helped him in some ways although we agree it became a mad circus for a while but after all the craziness and media disappeared it gave an opportunity for many conversations
HE did nothing for the community and everything for himself. He was jealous of the attention the girls were getting and found a way to fix it. While its true most of us want to be noticed and appreciated….to a point, there are some who have A.S.S., thats Attention Seeking Syndrome and he’s almost the CEO on that.
Good short response………….no long philosophical diatribe…………..and in my view—CORRECT.
Thanks
Mikki
I think Bruce/Caitlyn certainly did raise the issue of transgenderism. Going from the cover of a Wheaties box to Vanity Fair was certainly a media circus. The family issues were probably non-contributory to the cause of TG and more of a distraction.
Nevertheless his transition did raise a lot of issues and there are often good things which come out of high profile persons taking a stand.
I agree that he/she did it for selfish reasons but the spinoff may be positive in the long run.
Thanks Susan—but I wonder if ALL SO’s of CD’rs have this lingering doubt that someday, their spouse is going to declare to want to start HRT or beyond ? How could they not ? Sure, most would say–‘well–my wife knows me’—-or we just take this crossdressing only so far………..Do you think good ole Jenner didn’t say the same things while married ? I would wish there was a definitive way to PROVE to one’s SO that going beyond wasn’t going to happen, and I think that not possible, and it results in this little doubt forever in the brain of the SO………….Jenner should have pursued it as a personal choice, not one to be celebrated to the world……..as is the case for most TG people……..
Hope you’re well……
Mikki
I’m saddened to hear various comments that seem to dehumanize Caitlyn. As I write this, I’m aware that this is my greatest fear: that people will dehumanize me because of my gender.
I feel that increased public exposure to the trans and rainbow community is a good thing to move us on the path to normalization in the eyes of the majority of the public. (As with ANY marginalized group, there are always people who live a fear-based life and shun “others.”)
As to how Caitlyn used this transition, I see that she is both a pioneer and an opportunist. I take the good of her authentic revelations about how it feels to be a woman in a man’s body as a very important piece of information for the general public.I thank her for being willing to share that with the world, and give others a glimpse of how I feel some of the time.
Did she take the devastating chances that so many of us risk if we reveal ourselves? No. Am I going to hold that against her? Really?
Someone mentioned that her brain is still a man’s wiring. That is not true. Using MRI’s to scan the brains of men and women, scientists see that the areas of the brain that are used most frequently is different in each. Men and women are wired differently. But that wiring is not always consistent to birth gender. The same study shows that transgender people’s brains are consistently wired to the opposite gender of their birth designation.
There are so many elements of confusion for SO’s, that blaming any of those concerns on one public persona feels like grasping at straws. Is this just a convenient target? Once confronted with the reality of their SO being somewhere on the gender spectrum, a spouse or SO will educate themselves and soon realize that some crossdressers transition. That’s a reality that has nothing to do with Caitlyn.
I reiterate my first point; we don’t need to dehumanize each other. We’re each on a different path. My mission is to support my sisters. All of them.
Agreed—totally !!
Mikki
Bobbi somewhere in these many replies I said the same. The brave are cast out by their families, lose their jobs and homes, friends and face violence because they have to transition if they can then afford it. For it then to have the reality tv version put before them where they face non of these perils is a farce. Don’t watch any of this stuff but others do and so the public gets what the public wants. Give me a good film anytime.
Donna x
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