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Hi everyone, I’m Estrella from California. I have been married to a great woman for almost 20 years. Since we all stay at home due to pandemic, I told her I’d like to wear a skirt get cooler and feel comfort. She noticed that I was too joyful and found out there has been a girl in my body.
I know I cannot conceal anymore, so I let her know I cannot resist from beautiful dresses/skirts and I hate my male body. She really doesn’t like me to wear female clothing and think I’m so selfish if I wear them.
Now I feel regret, because I really love her, and I don’t know is there a way to make us both happy.
Hi Estrella, Teralynn her. Welcome to CDH! Just a quick note to provide you a short answer to your primary question- possibly! If two people love each other both can decide to make compromises so that they stay together and both can still be happy in the relationship. I will send you a more detailed welcoming post that will give you more information on how that can be accomplished as soon as I have more time. Don’t lose hope! – Blessings from Teralynn
Estrella, welcome to CDH. You took that big step – good for you, give yourself a pat on the back for that at least.
Being married 20 years, I think the two of you have a lot going for each other already. Remember, this may have come out of left field for her, so it will take some time for her to adjust too. And the most important thing :
Keep the lines of communication open!!! Never stop talking, but give her a bit of space too. Best of luck moving forward, my fingers are crossed for you!
Stevie
Hi Estrella,
Welcome to the friendliest place on Earth. I had a similar experience just over three weeks ago. I told my wife I have a feminine side and I need to wear dresses and skirts. We had a rough 4 or 5 days. We had a lot of communication and I didn’t push my need to crossdress until one night I told her I needed to wear a dress but if she didn’t want to see it I’d lock myself in the bedroom for just 5 minutes. I ended up wearing one of her dresses for two hours and was able to be in front of her without her freaking out. This gradually evolved to where I can now wear a dress or a skirt all day and she’s ok with it. We’ve been married for 15 years. Just give her time, keep up communication and don’t push her. Let things evolve in her time. Good luck and welcome to the forum!
Estrella..
we understand life is certainly complicated but here things don’t have to be . Enter into a place where everything is hopefully easier to open up to. With others like yourself enjoy experiencing your love for dressing with no conflicts or judgements and to be comfortable with being who you are. And in time with the help and support will move you forward to express yourself with confinance to discover more about your femininity. Happy to welcome you and I hope to see you around here soon. Hugs!!
Stephanie 🌹
My wife and I worked out an understanding that when I’m dressed she doesn’t want to see me, and I understand she is not gay she don’t want to be with a woman. So when I’m dressed I would warn her that I’m dressed in front room don’t come in unless you are ready to see me like this. It has been working out so far for us. However she is ok with me wearing a nightgown in bed just no bra or breast forms and I am totally ok with that because I love her more then anything or anyone.
Hello Estrella,
I am so sorry that your wife is not happy with you dressing. That is a very hard situation and I hope you two can work things out for the best. My last girlfriend didn’t accept this side of me and I remember it being a hard thing to try to work through. Will be here to support you in any way possible though.
Sincerely,
Michaela
hi sweetie, i really sorry hear about you situation, this is something that still i can not understand, why skirts is good for women but not for men, but pants are good for men but also for women, Where is the reason for this double assessment regarding the right that we all have to dress as we feel more comfortable, if a woman is strong and dominant, everyone applauds her and speaks of empowerment, but if a man wants to dress in skirts and dresses, he is only insulted and mocked at his person, where is the right of all to be as we want to be, without hurting anyone, of course, but the right to be feminine, to be delicate not to be brusque but to live our identity Feminine with freedom and respect from all, including our spouses, welcome to this wonderful site sweetie, we are here to listen to you and support you in whatever you need, hugs felicity
Hi Estrella and welcome to CDH. I’m so glad you joined our happy little family. Have a look around the site and where you feel comfortable, join in.
I’m sorry to hear how things are right now between you and your wife. But the good news is that very well may be “right now”. If you both want the two of you to be happy then it’s possible. Having gender dysphoria as bad as you have it complicates things a little but things are only impossible until they’re not. My thoughts and best wishes are with both of you.
Welcome again and I hope you find what you’re looking for here.
Hi Estrella
Just go with the flow. This was a shock for your wife, she needs to process that. I feel sure you will both be happy. Just do not push anything too much.
It will be worth the wait.
Averyl
Hi Estrella, Teralynn again. Sorry it has taken so long to get back to you Luv! I got lost in tons of junk mail and day to day drudgery! I was hoping to see an update post from you on here saying that things were a little bit better between you and your wife concerning your crossdressing! I can only assume that the situation is still about the same. If so, how unfortunate! Consider this my more detailed welcoming post Luv! It will not be one of those nice and warm fuzzy posts! It will be a reality check to help you deal with your new reality! So your wife found out that there is a feminine persona in her husband’s body! I have a feeling that you already knew that Estrella was there and because of having to stay home it became necessary to reveal a bit of her to the wife. Now that the feminine persona cat is out of the bag you can’t just put her back in it! Even if she doesn’t like the idea one bit, the likelihood of you completely stopping cold turkey are almost nonexistent! Even if you love her like crazy, the urge will still be there! If you want to remain in the relationship and still be able to dress as Estrella, then you have to communicate some basic things to your wife. Normally significant others need to be reassured that, you still love them, you are not gay, have no plans to fully transition into a woman, and will accept certain limitations on your dressing! (Exactly what those limitations will be should be worked out between you and her) Also if you can put into words why you want to dress as Estrella that might go a long way to getting her to favorably compromise. Divorce is a crippling thing! Especially if you still love her but she won’t budge an inch! If not dressing as Estrella will save the marriage but force you to be miserable because you can’t do something you really enjoy- is that really something you are willing to put up with? Oh you could probably sneak around and underdress or wait for an infrequent opportunity to dress! Hide clothes, feelings and misery! But if you get caught it may end in divorce anyway! I wish I could sweeten my advice Luv! I want everyone to be happy! Unfortunately life is not all lollipops and rainbows! Crossdressing people probably know that all too well! Whatever happens between you and your wife, remember that your sisters here at CDH will be here for you! If I can ever be of further service please feel free to contact me through this site and let me know how I can help. A post on my home profile page wall or private message will get the fastest response. – Blessings
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