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Hello ladies,
So recently I made a post on here asking if I am still a CD or if I’m Trans. Well now I’m starting to feel like I’m having an identity crisis. I’m scared of what the future will hold if I am indeed Trans. Even though I would love to have my own breasts and no more facial and body hair, I am starting to feel a great fear of the process of transitioning. There are things about being a CD that make life simple compared to being Trans. I wouldn’t need to pay for all the expensive procedures that are involved in transitioning. And I could continue to live my life using the same name and pronouns I have always used. I wouldn’t need to have difficult discussions with my family members. I don’t really know who I am anymore and I’m scared. I’m scared that I’ll make the wrong decisions for my life.
– Angelica
Don’t fret Angelica. It’s usual to ask all those questions and get scared. You do not have to do anything surgical or hormonal to transition and appear female, I haven’t and it works well for me. Am I a full time crossdresser or Trans? I don’t care as I am living my life quite happily. People who I have known forever have been really good and address me in my feminine name but some may misgender but that’s okay as at least they make an effort. It is hard for them as it was for me.
Don’t succumb to stereotypes, be yourself and do things your way .
Think of the A. K.I.S.S principle……….Angelica, Keep It Simple Sweetheart…..
Angelica,
Having questions and doubt is part of life. I would be more scared if I, myself, did not have such, especially involving such a big decision.
I have only recently acknowledged myself that I am transgender, which has probably created as many questions as it answerered, if not more. I have no plans to transistion as I am happy and proud to be the man that I am, but I also understand that I have feelings and desire to be more feminine than man would be in general. I am looking to further explore these feelings, but will do so with caution. I fully acknowledge that this is a journey over much time, and know that the path cannot be fully seen.
I agree with Samantha and several other ladies who have responded. Do not get yourself hung up on labels. The most important aspect here is to live the life that makes you happy.
MacKenzie Alexandra
Hi Angelica, I think that everybody here has great advice. Just take it a step at a time. For me, I considered it like the cafeteria line and picked the things that I wanted and passed on the rest. When I finally accepted my intersex situation and chose not to hide, I took these steps. One of the first things that I did was to keep my legacy (dead) name for all my official documents and begin using my intersex name for everyday life. No matter what you do, your old you will always be with you (kind of like a divorced spouse). So, yes my credit cards etc. don’t say Marg Produe but that’s not been a problem for me. I also stopped hiding my body and understand that I will be questioned and seen by others as a woman. I let my hair grow out long (takes about 2 years). You could do a unisex style while you find what works for you. I saw professionals for advice. I changed my wardrobe (women’s clothes fit me best anyway). I started electrolysis on my islands of beard (I’m hairless elsewhere). I took makeup lessons so I didn’t look like a wolf-girl. And I joined organizations like CDH, TGH and Pride. It’s been a 12 year journey for me and I’m still on it and I only wish that I started sooner. Don’t rush or panic, just follow what seems right for you and use the tools that you have already acquired. Safe Journey, Marg
Angelica, I agree with everything everyone else have already said. Don’t get hung up on labels and you don’t need to transition all the way. One other suggestion I have is look up DrZ on you tube. She is a phycoligist specializing in transgender issues. Her latest vidio addresses the very issue you have brought up.
. Cassie
Hon, it’s ok, take a deep breath and relax. The answer to your question is simple really. The road to transitioning is not a road you choose because you think you might like it. It’s a toll road that does not give you a choice. If you are destined to transition, you will because you have to, to maintain your sanity and reason for living, not because you think maybe having breasts would be a cool thing. I love most of my life as female because it sim0ly feels normal. I don’t get all frilly in the head if I get a new bra. I dress in f3male drab a lot because splitting firewood in heels is not the smartest idea. I will not however transition. I would love to have large breasts some days for an example, but I love my male self as well and like doing guy things with guys also. So I have accepted myself as two people really, one that gets a kick out of spitting and picking, and the other that loves shopping for that new top while looking, let’s say, ladylike.
Progression from Cross-dressing as a sexual fetish for example does not mean one will continue on a journey to transition. Generally, someone that transitions, knows at an early age something is out of sync, and that something plays on them daily to the point where professional help is required to possible as a worse case scenario, prevent attempts at suicide. We don’t transition because we want to, we transition because we have to. Cross-dressing does not lead to transitioning. I have come to find my happy place. I have no desire to transition. I love me just the way I am. Everyone is different and you will find your happy place. What’s key here is accept who you are now. Love yourself now and all the experiences who will enjoy. If the future for you is to transition, you will do it because you had to, not because you wanted to. Hope this gives you food for thought.
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