- Yes they know and are happy.
- Yes the know but not interested.
- No they don’t know.
- July 13, 2021 at 5:06 am #517054SandraParticipantRegistered On: August 8, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 31Has thanked: 364 timesBeen thanked: 182 times
I was wondering if any of you have told your SO’s about CDH and how they feel about it? I was contemplating telling my wife but not sure yet.
Would love to hear from you.
x Sandra x
- September 24, 2021 at 6:15 pm #547954
- September 24, 2021 at 2:42 pm #547869
- September 24, 2021 at 2:22 pm #547768Amy OxleyLadyRegistered On: September 20, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 22Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 132 times
I told my wife about CDH the day after I joined. I told her about the site and how it was full of wonderful and amazing people and even read her some of the Forum topics.
When you tell your SO you have joined a site for cross-dressers it’s easy for them to get the wrong end of the stick and think the site is full of weirdo’s and perverts. But once she had read some of the articles she was very happy that I had found somewhere I talk to other cross-dressers and learn of their experiences and how similar those experiences are to my life. She is very accepting of Amy but it’s not quite the same as talking to people who have been through the same doubt/guilt/shame/excitement and everything else that comes from this life.
- September 24, 2021 at 12:42 pm #547731BrielleDuchessRegistered On: August 14, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 165Has thanked: 586 timesBeen thanked: 622 times
My SO actually joined a few days ago to chat with other wives and GFs about all this. She is tolerant, but not very keen on it at the moment. I hope over time we can get a better relationship with Brielle. I have shared my profile with her, which raised some new questions and concerns.
- September 24, 2021 at 11:59 am #547727Christina CrossLadyRegistered On: March 2, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 2Has thanked: 6 timesBeen thanked: 8 times
Before I registered an account with CDH, I told my wife about it and gave her my login credentials. I wanted everything with my CDing to be transparent with her. No guilt. I didn’t want her to think I was sneaking around. I told her I wanted to make an account at CDH so I could learn more about myself and my crossdressing. My wife encouraged my pursuit of knowledge because she knows my gaining knowledge will make me happy and accepting of myself.
- July 25, 2021 at 3:01 am #522322Sarah LaneDuchessRegistered On: September 1, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 72Has thanked: 919 timesBeen thanked: 364 times
Hey Sandra, Yes My wife knows about CDH. She has seen me reading a lot on here and also writing from time to time. She recently freaked out when she saw the ad for Transgender Heaven on the CDH website, She thought I was looking to transition and told me that if this was the case consider our marriage over. I had to reassure her it was just an ad and that I was still just interested in Crossdressing.
The next day I wrote her a letter ( which she has given me permission to publish here on CDH ) which helped explain why I love Crossdressing and my expectations of it going forward. Once she had read it we sat down and had a conversation which also included me showing her what CDH was about and showing her my photos and many other members photos and comments so she had a clear understanding about what this site offers each of us.
She has told me the letter was very helpful for her in becoming more understanding of my Crossdressing and after reading the comments on this tread it is clear it might prove useful to others here. Keep an eye out for ” letter to my wife ”
- July 26, 2021 at 5:26 am #523112Jeannie JonesDuchessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 14Replies: 657Has thanked: 2222 timesBeen thanked: 2401 times
Looking forward to the wife letter.
- July 26, 2021 at 3:06 am #523079SandraLadyRegistered On: August 8, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 31Has thanked: 364 timesBeen thanked: 182 times
Thanks for sharing this Sarah, I’ll go and check that article out. Might prove helpful for me too.
- July 25, 2021 at 1:30 am #522302
- July 24, 2021 at 3:56 am #521960stephanie plumbBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 176Replies: 2424Has thanked: 3871 timesBeen thanked: 11693 times
My wife tolerates my dressing but doesn’t want to be involved. If she knew about CDH it would probably be a death sentence for our marriage … one straw too many…. liaising with men on the internet is how she would see it. It would bring up all the old questions. “Are you gay ?”etc. etc. “Another secret you haven’t told me about!” “why are you doing it?”
Its a secret I must keep so I am extremely careful not to get caught out. Hence no public photos! Or photos left on my phone or computer.
Am I deceiving her? I don’t think so because she doesn’t know. If she suspects and asks then I would have to come clean and hope to weather the storm.
- July 23, 2021 at 6:06 pm #521833Abbie NormalDuchessRegistered On: June 13, 2021Topics: 10Replies: 516Has thanked: 944 timesBeen thanked: 1885 times
I plan to tell her the next time we discuss this part of my life in any detail. I want to be able to discuss things that come up here with her.
— Abbie 🥰
- This reply was modified 3 months ago by Abbie Normal.
- July 23, 2021 at 4:30 pm #521803Rayna CarlianDuchessRegistered On: March 4, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 313Has thanked: 462 timesBeen thanked: 1001 times
I tried getting my SO to join the SO group on CDH, but no.
However, she did go with me to Crossroads in Palm Springs back in April. She isn’t averse to Rayna, just not into social media and she isn’t all that “chatty”. I think it would be good for her to talk to other spouses, but she isn’t the talky type of girl.
- July 17, 2021 at 4:28 am #518794Petra SueLadyRegistered On: March 14, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 9Has thanked: 104 timesBeen thanked: 76 times
My wife is aware that I’m on CDH but doesn’t participate. When I first joined, we talked about it because she knew I was struggling with my dressing and what it means for me. Being here and sometimes sharing experiences, but mostly reading about other’s experiences, has helped and my wife understands the value in that.
- July 16, 2021 at 9:08 pm #518705Brittany SkyeLadyRegistered On: May 25, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 7Has thanked: 26 timesBeen thanked: 35 times
currently it’s a secret from my wife. i’ve been trying to find ways to open the discussion but I know it’s going to take time to ease her into my other life. when i’ve been more upfront, the responses have been less than positive
- July 16, 2021 at 9:39 am #518391SandraLadyRegistered On: August 8, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 31Has thanked: 364 timesBeen thanked: 182 times
Thank you to all the lovely responses. I decided to plant the seed with my wife and told her about the site and that we should explore it together. She was happy with that. Some progress 🥳
- July 16, 2021 at 10:09 am #518402MelanieElizabethLadyRegistered On: January 9, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 180Has thanked: 442 timesBeen thanked: 1071 times
I’m happy for you Sandra. It’s the right thing to do. It may force some uncomfortable conversations but at the end of the day you will feel so much better. She may even feel better as well. I hope it all goes well.
- July 16, 2021 at 9:01 am #518383Rei DurdenBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: October 11, 2020Topics: 28Replies: 1002Has thanked: 5710 timesBeen thanked: 4271 times
After coming out to my SO, the days of keeping anything from her were DONE!!
We have many great conversations about many of the topics here at CDH, also many uncomfortable conversations but it’s been far more positive.
If CDH wasn’t such a classy site filled with support and kindness and opportunities for learning and growth I doubt it would be an acceptable option for discussion.
- July 17, 2021 at 11:57 am #518938Michelle McQueenLadyRegistered On: June 14, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 521Has thanked: 2139 timesBeen thanked: 2545 times
Hi Rei. You are correct that this is a wonderful, classy, and clean site and its that reason we can tell our SO’s about it and if they want they can read our collective experiences and learn from it. They can see its not all about sex and most of us aren’t looking to transition but just enjoy our feminine side as best as we can and be accepted.
I and many of you I’m sure have been on those other kinky sites and those are NOT the kind of places we would introduce our SO’s to.
- July 16, 2021 at 8:46 am #518372Alicen ThairmsLadyRegistered On: July 15, 2019Topics: 43Replies: 366Has thanked: 1392 timesBeen thanked: 1022 times
I keep my crossdressing a secret from my SO.
She just wants me to be ‘her man’ and nothing else; she doesn’t approve of crossdressing. We have talked about it and trans issues when she reads about it in the news or sees something on the TV; she accepts people are differently gendered.
For now I will stay in the closet.
- This reply was modified 3 months ago by Alicen Thairms.
- July 16, 2021 at 7:38 am #518344Stephanie KennedyPrincessRegistered On: March 15, 2019Topics: 20Replies: 1152Has thanked: 8485 timesBeen thanked: 4929 times
Hi Sandra It is a good question. My So knows because she see the bills She did ask me about CDH. I simply told her it was a site for cross dressers to share their experiences. She understands this is something I enjoy being a part of because I AM A CROSSDRESSER and I ENJOY CROSSDRESSING. She knows there are certain things That are just mine and she has her things also. TRUST is huge for her and she trust me. I would to go out to TG/CD club a lot more, noww I can sit in my chair with something cute and pretty and know I am not alone because of all of you lovely ladies are proof that I am not weird and I am not crazy If it makes me happy she is happy. Thank you for the post
- July 26, 2021 at 4:37 am #523105Rhonda JonesLadyRegistered On: March 17, 2019Topics: 0Replies: 58Has thanked: 319 timesBeen thanked: 119 times
Your last words , if it makes me happy she is happy are Very well put .
There alot of women who don
t approve of their man having any sort of " interests " out side of their relation ship . And dont under stand that he is feeling miserable .
- This reply was modified 2 months ago by Rhonda Jones.
- July 16, 2021 at 7:30 am #518343LadyRegistered On: June 14, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 521Has thanked: 2139 timesBeen thanked: 2545 times
- July 14, 2021 at 10:54 pm #517799Michelle BaileyLadyRegistered On: July 17, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 164Has thanked: 7480 timesBeen thanked: 756 times
Hi Sandra I am a secret cd and have told no one as others have said I know my wife would not approve ,so I am quite happy with my underdressing every day and the odd chance to fully dress which are getting less and less as we are both retired ,my collection of lovely undies is growing and it is my secret what I am wearing under my drab clothing ,no one else’s . Michelle xx
- July 14, 2021 at 9:02 pm #517770Scarlett398PrincessRegistered On: June 29, 2018Topics: 4Replies: 559Has thanked: 1319 timesBeen thanked: 1387 times
Yes, my sexy redhead has known about this site for years! I show her photos and talk about the articles I both write and edit on here!
She knows my thrill of cross dressing and this site are both critical to my overall happiness and well being so she’s just fine with this site!
- July 14, 2021 at 8:42 pm #517766LadyRegistered On: January 9, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 180Has thanked: 442 timesBeen thanked: 1071 times
Hi Sandra. It’s funny you posted this poll question because I posted the same question in chat yesterday. I don’t know about you but I came out to my wife 4 years ago, we had the talk and I was honest with her but as we know things change. 6 months ago I joined Cdh and enjoyed the fellowship and have learned a great deal with the help of our community. Recently I decided that my wife needed to know I was a member of a website where I exchanged feelings with others on line(I felt guilty, she doesn’t know as much about my dressing than the people on this site). Anyway we had a long talk and to my surprise she loved the idea that I had an outlet to express myself. I’m so happy I told her about it.
- July 16, 2021 at 7:19 am #518340Scarlett398PrincessRegistered On: June 29, 2018Topics: 4Replies: 559Has thanked: 1319 timesBeen thanked: 1387 times
Good for you Melanie and the more she reads from this site, the better understanding she’ll have of why we do what we do with those fabulous feeling clothes they’ve been able to wear their entire lifetimes!
My wife doesn’t have my password and doesn’t want it so I’m the one who reads to her some writings I find to be on the extra special side!
- July 16, 2021 at 8:37 am #518368LadyRegistered On: January 9, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 180Has thanked: 442 timesBeen thanked: 1071 times
My wife isn’t overly interested in looking at the site yet. I wish she would because their is so much info it would help her understand me better. I only told her I was a member recently and I don’t want to push it. Also I’ve posted a couple of pictures since joining and if she somehow found those without me telling her I can only imagine the fallout. Hiding secrets from loved ones is just something I couldnt live with anymore and if she learns something here that helps her cope that’s all the better.
- July 14, 2021 at 11:27 am #517564Jess SecretLadyRegistered On: February 18, 2021Topics: 11Replies: 250Has thanked: 736 timesBeen thanked: 1122 times
- July 14, 2021 at 4:19 am #517402Marcellette LavalBaronessRegistered On: February 1, 2021Topics: 6Replies: 181Has thanked: 497 timesBeen thanked: 910 times
My wife knows that I’m a member of an ‘online support forum’ and I have verbally shared some of the forum postings with her in order to establish that this is a ‘wholesome’ place and not one of the many (too many) skeezy sites that she came across whilst researching the topic of crossdressing.
I’ve also told her about several of the amazing people that I’ve become friends with in here and how they have helped me better understand and deal with the wide variety of things that I’m personally dealing with as a crossdresser, everything from struggle with my faith, going out in public, to clothing and makeup advice – I’ve found people in here just like me and that has been incredibly helpful. So she knows that I’m not only in here, but that I’m also benefiting from it.
Her ‘acceptance’ of my crossdressing is just a tinge better than ‘tolerance’ in that she’s OK with it (within limits) but really doesn’t want to know a lot about it, for example, she hasn’t and never wants to see me dressed. So I walk a line with her, being open and honest whenever I sense she has concerns about any of it and of course to whatever degree she overtly asks and is willing to receive. For pretty much everything about my crossdressing, to include CDH activity, I generally don’t ‘push’ but rather wait for a ‘pull’ signal from her. Personally, I don’t think this is ideal, but it the space we have made as a couple that works for her so I’m good with it.
Knowing the details of everything I talk about with the wonderful gals in here, and seeing pictures of me dressed are not things she wants to know about – so all that stuff is just between me and all of you…..and I’m deeply grateful to all of you for embracing me as you have!
- July 14, 2021 at 2:00 am #517379Regine KellyPrincessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 42Replies: 1414Has thanked: 17140 timesBeen thanked: 6486 times
My wife knows, and loves Regine more than him, I believe, lol
As I have posted many times, I could not keep secrets from her, we have been together over 40 years, and when I came out to her, and myself last year, it was like a new light shining in both our lives.
I know it isnt the same for everyone, but having her so fully supporting me, is indescribable. I live full time as a woman when not at work, and we both just love it.
Edit, sorry I didnt fully comprehend the question, lol
Yes, she knows about CDH but doesnt read it. I often read her posts, and mention her, and post about her, and have passed on every hug from the many girls here who have sent them.
- This reply was modified 3 months ago by Regine Kelly.
- July 14, 2021 at 1:19 am #517377Diane RakersLadyRegistered On: August 18, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 841Has thanked: 1439 timesBeen thanked: 2895 times
I am 99% certain that my wife would not accept, much less support, my female side. Although, I believe she knows “something”.
Don’t ask/don’t tell.
- July 14, 2021 at 12:00 am #517372LisaTLadyRegistered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 104Replies: 1386Has thanked: 1428 timesBeen thanked: 6967 times
My wife knows and reads regularly. I often get her view on something I’m posting especially if I mention her. On balance it has been helpful to my coming out experience. That said there have been times when members have posted views which have not been helpful, when I’m especially keen to assuage fears of a slippery slope down which her male partner is inexorably slipping, tales of inescapable pink fogs. Posts suggesting how superior trans girls are compared with lifelong women are also a source for the gnashing of spousal teeth. And possibly worst of all the belittling of reservations and objections by suggesting it’s only clothes whilst not being damaging are a source of extreme irritation. She understands how deep the need is for me to express my femme self and I understand just how primal and visceral the feelings invasion of our intimate relationship by a woman are. It’s managing this balance and giving each other what they need to cope that is key to successfully holding together the relationship.
On balance the site is extremely helpful especially to me but just occasionally as I hear a rising crescendo of gnashing of teeth I have to remind her that it is primarily for crossdressers. Not every view is going to be balanced and a few will be defensive, hurt or plain thoughtless but that’s the same for any group. For anyone considering it my suggestion would be yes definitely let your parter know of your involvement on here. Possibly introduce her (or him) you know them best. But just consider that the site is mainly CDs finding a common ground to let their fears and views free, not everything they read will sit comfortably.
- July 13, 2021 at 11:46 pm #517369Sarah CrossDuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 20Has thanked: 230 timesBeen thanked: 157 times
My first wife caught me dressed and left, so I’m now a definite closet CD to afraid to tell her as I love her and don’t want to lose her.
- July 14, 2021 at 1:11 am #517376
- July 13, 2021 at 11:17 pm #517363LeaLadyRegistered On: March 23, 2016Topics: 72Replies: 249Has thanked: 305 timesBeen thanked: 1010 times
This is my space to be out, to be me, to vent, to cry, to support, to get help, to have no fear of judgement.
My SO doesn’t know about my online Lea persona here.
- July 13, 2021 at 10:36 pm #517359Emily AltDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: August 24, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 609Has thanked: 476 timesBeen thanked: 2806 times
- July 13, 2021 at 11:34 am #517178KHeartLadyRegistered On: October 1, 2020Topics: 9Replies: 136Has thanked: 431 timesBeen thanked: 854 times
My wife knows and is supportive of me being here. As outside here my dressing is known by only a really small number of people, she encourages me as she knows it’s hard for me to find advice or get encouragement on my feminine side, and so this is the perfect place for it. 🙂
- July 13, 2021 at 11:17 am #517172Patricia Gil HernandezLadyRegistered On: August 6, 2016Topics: 3Replies: 13Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 100 times
- July 13, 2021 at 10:18 am #517152T.J. ByronRegistered On: October 18, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 463Has thanked: 5857 timesBeen thanked: 2101 times
- July 13, 2021 at 6:52 am #517086Jennifer SwansonDuchessRegistered On: April 20, 2019Topics: 59Replies: 226Has thanked: 4791 timesBeen thanked: 1678 times
What wonderful posts from Clara and MacKenzie. My SO was uncertain and a little curious when I disclosed it to her while she was overseas on business. I started serious dressing 2 years ago. I dress full time around the house and sometimes going out. She has helped me with fashion advice and her daughter was Mary Kay, so she occasionally does my makeup. 2 years later my SO feels less threatened and more secure. It’s an extremely tough choice but ultimately honesty should prevail.
- July 13, 2021 at 6:49 am #517085Jenna Elizabeth FosterLadyRegistered On: May 6, 2020Topics: 15Replies: 217Has thanked: 498 timesBeen thanked: 844 times
- July 13, 2021 at 5:21 am #517061MacKenzie AlexandraAmbassadorRegistered On: May 20, 2016Topics: 43Replies: 608Has thanked: 159 timesBeen thanked: 1524 times
When I made the decision to embrace and my explore my feelings and preference for womenswear, I knew that I would need to share this with my wife. Our relationship is built on honesty as much as our mutual love for each other.
In researching how to tell my wife, I discovered Crossdresser Heaven. It’s resources provide me first the information and the eventually the courage to share this aspect with my wife. Do understand that I had kept my feelings buried deep from even myself for over two decades at this point. I had only known my wife for 12 years, and been married for 9 years.
Sharing these feelings and my preference for wearing a dress or skirt with my wife went surprisingly well. My wife’s love for me was never doubted, and she offered her support and acceptance from the beginning. This journey has not been without its ups and downs. Crossdresser Heaven has been a wealth of support and information on this journey. And while my wife has repeatedly declined to be a member herself, she has read several resources and forums from the site which she has found helpful.
- July 13, 2021 at 5:20 am #517060Clara CrossLadyRegistered On: December 7, 2020Topics: 14Replies: 515Has thanked: 1471 timesBeen thanked: 2312 times
Good question Sandra.
I struggled with that too. Quite the paradox: she knew all about the clothes but I was still so reluctant to admit I was here on CDH. The clothes were one thing, an online presence? Quite another. Disclosing to her my alter ego’s presence on CDH would be disclosing just how serious this cross dressing thing was getting.
Two things helped. First, her reaction to my disclosure about dressing in the first place made it clear that openness and honesty were liberating way beyond all expectations. I was counting on that same reaction regarding CDH. Second, all the support, the life stories, the sorrows, the triumphs that all you lovelies have shared here were far too significant and relevant to my own story and to my relationship to keep hidden away. You all are proof that I am not alone and we are all in this together.
CDH isn’t something I think my bride is interested in reading or getting involved in herself though. (Lord knows we don’t need two of us in the family sinking godawful amounts of time into this!) But there is so much value here that I feel compelled to share much with her. She knows all about you ladies and that makes both of us happy.
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