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Ok, let me begin this forum addition by saying that this piece in no way, shape or form condones not being honest with your significant other. Speaking from my personal experience I have found that this is the best 3 step program to avoid pain and hardship while cross dressing.
Let me begin by giving you some of my personal background. One day, my wife decided to look through my phone, looking for old family photos. She kept on seeing photos of this woman with long, auburn hair over and over again. At this point she screams out to me demanding to know who this woman was and if I was cheating on her. She stares closer and closer at her and at this moment realizes that I was the woman. Out of all the painful days that I have ever experienced this is one that i wish I could erase from our collective memories. I was so sorry for the pain and doubt that I had created, and even though we can laugh and joke about it today, traces of the pain still exist.
Ok, back to the article. My bullet proof 3 step program to successful cross dressing.
First step : CLEAN. Clean everything. Dust mop and vacuum. Use Windex. Erase every make up stain, hair follicle from you wig, the odor of nail polish remover, all rags that you used to clean up the mascara. Do a CSI on every room you went in.
Step 2 : HIDE. Hide everything. You wigs, tops and bras. Hide tags, sales slips and yes ALL PICTURES of yourself. Hide the shoes and makeup. Even that top you just bought on sale and the new pair of clip on earrings that go with every outfit you own. Ok, I know I am getting off the subject. My point is : take it all and stuff it into a pillow case and lock that in a suitcase and submerge it in a waterproof container at the bottom of a lake in your cousin’s best friend’s back yard.
Finally : Step 3 : BE HONEST. To truly avoid all the hardship and Ill feelings please consider telling that special someone how you really feel. I dated my wife for two years before walking down the aisle, and during that time, if I would have just told her what I felt, the paranoia and guilt that I have today might all be erased. It is so easy for us to look into a mirror and be amazed by the reflection staring back at us. The harder thing is to use the mirror inside of us to see our true reflections of the real us deep inside. Please learn from my mistakes. Please be honest to yourself and those you love.
Best Wishes,
Joanna R.If I submerged my stuff in the lake in my cousin’s best friend’s back yard I’d have to explain my sudden interest in scuba diving. Still, it’s not a bad hiding place. My best hiding place was tied up in a black garbage bag then placed in the bottom of a garbage bin in my garage, with another bag with real rubbish in it, placed in on top of all that. My thought process was that if something happened to me part of the ‘cleasn up, would simply involve someone emptying the garbage bin into the rubbish hopper.
The conundrum I have is that I finally told my wife about my crossdressing after 26 years of marriage. It was difficult for her at the time but she’s come to embrace it and we enjoy doing ‘girlfriend’ things as well as the usual couple things. What causes some serious thinking, especially when others ask me if and when they should tell their SO, is that in subsequent discussions about whether I should have said something earlier in our marriage my lovely wife freely admits that maybe ten or fifteen years earlier she would probably have felt somewhat different about it all. As she says, as she’s aged she has also mellowed and learned to accept others for who they are, no matter what that entails. So, had I been ‘perfectly honest’ with her fifteen years ago things might have turned out very differently. I do say “might” because we’ll never know.
I do agree with the honesty approach but I also know that sometimes it doesn’t necessarily mean that things will work out for the best. I’m just lucky that it has for me.
Joanna-loved the story! I Agree that honesty is the best policy. You were luckier with your spouse than I was with mine. She found the packaging for a wig and confronted me and almost left me that day. Although we remained together for another 10 years, she never accepted my dressing in any way,shape or form and always felt betrayed because I did’tell her ahead of getting married-though i suspect she would have left me then if she had known Anyway thanks for a great post!
2015_relationship advice: Joanna R. original post:
Ok, let me begin this forum addition by saying that this piece in no way, shape or form condones not being honest with your significant other. Speaking from my personal experience I have found that this is the best 3 step program to avoid pain and hardship while cross dressing.
Let me begin by giving you some of my personal background. One day, my wife decided to look through my phone, looking for old family photos. She kept on seeing photos of this woman with long, auburn hair over and over again. At this point she screams out to me demanding to know who this woman was and if I was cheating on her. She stares closer and closer at her and at this moment realizes that I was the woman. Out of all the painful days that I have ever experienced this is one that i wish I could erase from our collective memories. I was so sorry for the pain and doubt that I had created, and even though we can laugh and joke about it today, traces of the pain still exist.
Ok, back to the article. My bullet proof 3 step program to successful cross dressing.
First step : CLEAN. Clean everything. Dust mop and vacuum. Use Windex. Erase every make up stain, hair follicle from you wig, the odor of nail polish remover, all rags that you used to clean up the mascara. Do a CSI on every room you went in.
Step 2 : HIDE. Hide everything. You wigs, tops and bras. Hide tags, sales slips and yes ALL PICTURES of yourself. Hide the shoes and makeup. Even that top you just bought on sale and the new pair of clip on earrings that go with every outfit you own. Ok, I know I am getting off the subject. My point is : take it all and stuff it into a pillow case and lock that in a suitcase and submerge it in a waterproof container at the bottom of a lake in your cousin’s best friend’s back yard.
Finally : Step 3 : BE HONEST. To truly avoid all the hardship and Ill feelings please consider telling that special someone how you really feel. I dated my wife for two years before walking down the aisle, and during that time, if I would have just told her what I felt, the paranoia and guilt that I have today might all be erased. It is so easy for us to look into a mirror and be amazed by the reflection staring back at us. The harder thing is to use the mirror inside of us to see our true reflections of the real us deep inside. Please learn from my mistakes. Please be honest to yourself and those you love.
Best Wishes,
Joanna R.
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