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Over the past few years, thanks in large part to CDH, i have learned to cheerfully identify as a crossdresser. The odd thing is that when I dress in private or underdress in public after not dressing for a while, I feel so elated and feel like I should do this every day. Then after five days or so, my mind is still thinking about dressing, but I just go back to simple t-shirts and sweat pants. I always have a crossdresser’s mindset, even when I do not dress for a few weeks at a time, but the intensity of the drive changes. Has anyone else regularly felt similar ebbs and flows in your crossdressing experience?
Sure. It takes a lot of effort to look glam and beautiful. I think anyone would get tired of all that work after a few days.
I’ve gotten to a point where I value my time spent being girly way more than the time it takes to look girly. I’m a lazy trans girl.
/EA
…what Emily said, LOL But I know what the cure is girls. I placed so much value on time spent being girly that I decided to do it all the time, 24/7. So now being girly is simply part of my everyday life. I have to get up each morning and get ready to go to work, it does become a bit routine, but after almost a year of doing this the joy of checking how I look before walking out the door is still there. 🙂
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Its part of the process not unlike being thirsty when working in the hot sun. Your body craves water but once you go inside a drink enough water the urge subsides. Like quenching your thirst once you dress enough you have quenched the desire. Years ago when crossdresser conventions were prevalent many 1st time attendees lamented only being there for the 3 day weekend and yearned for more. Next year they came for the whole week and by Friday they were say only one more day! Do it too much and it gets old.
I can relate to what you are saying. I’ve gone for periods of time when I didn’t have the opportunity to dress and thought about it a lot. Then there have been times that I take every opportunity to dress, or at least underdress. IT’s kind of funny, I will underdress at home but change when I go out. My reason for doing this is that my wife and I have an agreement that my dressing stays in the house and I feel if I go out wearing panties I’m violating that agreement. It may sound silly but that’s how I look at it. I spend most every morning dressed in some way – could be a nightie or a dress, sometimes wearing my wig, always with panties, sometimes a bra and/or pantyhose – as I have a couple hours in the morning when my wife is sleeping. That time is also when I am able to be here and browse the forums, read articles and talk with friends in the chat room. There are times, however, when I don’t bother for a variety of reasons and when that happens I’m okay with it.
XOXO
Suzanne
Most of my life!!!!!
At least you and I have the same mindset.
You may have allready solved the puzzle!🤷🤔😉Definitely it is unique as I just went eleven weeks without dressing for various reasons the holidays, traveling to see family, spending time with family, doctor appointments, having step sons dogs for awhile not having the energy to do the work to dress life gets in the way as a crossdresser at times lol. With that being said after about 6 weeks the desire to dress started to increase to the point that the last few weeks have been overwhelming i had a few opportunities around weeks 6 and 7 but didn’t have the energy to do it. In hindsight I wish I did I have a tendency to wait to long a few times a year and it becomes obsessive how my thoughts are consumed by it how I have trouble focusing on other things that are jot simple tasks. When I dress it is agreement with my wife to make sure we don’t have or she doesn’t have anything I am needed for to make sure all will be good with privacy as I do not go out locally dressed. When it becomes obsessive I then buy more things when I would have saved money as I have enough womenswear and accessories that go with this part of who I am or for some rather unique but exciting yet relaxing hobby. Like Micki said it is a thirst and when quenched I am good for awhile for sure I have gone out in public for a night it is not enough however when I went for 5 days to an event I had fun but was absolutely exhausted from dressing and had no desire for 2 months. Sometimes I will dress a few times a month sometimes it may be months. It is not simple for me as when I do I need to dress with as much of a feminine image or as April as possible with breastforms, makeup, wig and fake nails as I have found these have worked better for my dressing at home or one day public excursions then painted nails. I will do painted when going to events for more than a day. I understand we all have are different levels of being happy and or relaxed with finding a level of contentment with our dressing. For me it is closer to all or nothing as underdressing does not make me feel content of comfortable. We have such a wide spectrum of family members here at CDH and I am glad we can all share our thoughts and experiences to express ourselves and support one another in gaining further understanding as who we are as people.
Thanks
Hugs to you all AprilHi CeCe, well, that was certainly how I felt for years. I absolutely loved getting dressed even in just slim jeans and a top (and, ahem, appropriate underclothing!). But there were times when I sort of wanted to but chose not to.
Looking back, part of it, I think, was because I had so many other responsibilities going on, spouse, job, house and yard, children, that I seldom had time for some of my personal hobby type pursuits much less dressing. Having to drag…out all or even any of my clothes from being securely hidden from my children, knowing the time it would take to look appropriate, the time it would take to remove and replace everything, and comparing that to the now quite limited time available, I just couldn’t justify it, much as I wanted, and much as I was disappointed.
But, now thinking back, the desire or need was always there, but other things pushed against it and often won. Now as I get older, it’s actually much stronger than ever before. Maybe I’m beginning to face the reality of the approaching end of my life, or maybe being retired, with my adult children all miles (and miles) away, a house that is easier to keep in order, and my spouse often out doing her thing, I do have more time. Or maybe if I were able to dress for several days or a week or more, maybe I could put it all behind me…or maybe I’d just want/neeed more.<sigh>
Hugs, ChloëC
CeCe,
Sometimes I go days without the urge to dress up. It takes me at least an hour to shave, moisturize, dress, an do makeup, and many days I don’t feel like putting in the effort. When I do dress, I really enjoy being a girl for a while. Today is a cold, snowy day and I don’t feel like going out enfemme in this weather.
Depending on what is going in my schedule and activates around the house, my full dressing ebbs and flows as well. I typically undress daily with panties, bralette and camisole and for bed a chemise.
If I have not fully dressed for awhile, I do find I miss the primping and dressing and how nice it feels. I have now gotten to the point if I do not have at least 2+ hours to be dressed, I do not bother with doing it.
Ya I agree with a minimum time rule for me I need at least 2hrs to get ready counting shower and shaving time makeup and dressing because I have to go as far as possible I wont unless I have 4 hours minimum. It takes a lot of work to be a woman and damn it I want to enjoy it! I never say anything to my wife about time to get ready I just wait until she is ready.
I also experience ups and downs in motivation. In my case, these usually are related to mood. During periods when I feel depressed, so is motivation to dress or do anything constructive. These episodes are mercifully brief and farther apart now than in years past.
Of course, there are good days when I just don’t feel I can dedicate the time necessary to dress well.
I can definitely identify with the urges coming and going. There have been times where I had the opportunity and not the drive and, obviously the reverse has been true much more often. I have had weekends when my wife was away in the past where I did not dress at all. Now, I am at a point where I realize the two don’t always align, and I have learned to use the opportunity anyway. With all of the after-effects of cross dressing, they are only there most of the time. Sometimes when I dress, I feel a ton of sexual energy. Sometimes my head clears completely and I can clean or organize much better than usual. Sometimes stress disappears. None of these things happen all of the time. I still try to figure it all out, but there’s a major part of me that is working on don’t question it, just enjoy it and thrive personally by continuing to do it.
Oh Yes, The up s and down of cycling thought , desires, and urges> We’ve all been through it. There are times that if I dress at home or go out 2-3 times a week it becomes so routine and blah! that ts doesn’t hold the ‘can’t wait to do it again’ feeling. Boring even. That’s why I know , and I’m glade that I am a hetero CD not Trans or have any desire to transition. I would deeply regret it, You just have to wait until your physical urges and mindset obsession is so overpowering to get into a ‘temporary’ CD euphoria; then its back to the male YOU. The way )( I Feel) it should be
Meghan
Absolutely, Some days I like to dress, other days, often for days or weeks, I don’t other then panties +/- a bra. In enjoy dressing, but I don’t feel compelled to dress, at least all the time. Occasionally, I do have a need to dress, and I do dress more these days, but I am fine with out dressing for long periods as well.
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