We resume the story with our intrepid heroine about to enter her teen years and experience the joy of her first period, breast growth and discovering boys. In your mind you should now hear the scratching sound as the DJ hastily lifts the needle off an old LP record just before the crowd turns around to stare. Our unfortunate heroine had none of those delights to look forward to, but rather the twin tyrannies of massive height expansion and needless hair growth in places entirely unbecoming.
Not that I knew what to expect at the time, or even that what was happening was wrong. It was just what everyone had told me was supposed to happen. I never had the sense of identifying strongly as a girl when young – though honestly never really felt that I fit in as a boy. I was too big to beat up, too shy to find and too smart to get into trouble at school.
The computer in my room was the perfect distraction from all my social and romantic ineptness – it was something I could understand even as I failed to understand myself and my relationship with others. As it turns out this distraction would pay a key part in my future welfare – but we’ve jumped to far ahead already…
My First Pair of Pantyhose
When I was 12 or 13 I found myself obsessed with the idea of purchasing and wearing my own pair of pantyhose. I have no idea why that would be a good idea, and tried for many weeks to push the thought from my mind. Yet after fighting the anticipation for so long I finally broke down, and found both the courage and opportunity to purchase my first pair of pantyhose.
My mom, brother and I were out shopping and I found occasion to “browse the shops by myself”. I told my mom I’d meet her back at the car in a while, and off I went. I made a beeline to a store I knew sold pantyhose, but that was on the other end of the shopping center from where my mom and brother were shopping. I could feel my heart drumming a tune of nervous ecstasy in my chest as I circled the aisle where the object of my obsession was kept.
After what seemed like hours of mustering my courage I approached the forbidden temple – and panicked! What size was I? Where was the color I was looking for? My pending sweat gave me little opportunity to think straight and I grabbed for the first pair I thought might have a chance of fitting, hastily made my way to the cashier and then out the store.
I had a few more minutes left, and I could wait no longer – off I rushed to the public bathroom to put on my new stockings, only to discover that they were gray! Damnit. I imagined my legs encased by sexy black stockings, not gray. Not gray! It was too late though, the deed was done and I was half naked in a bathroom stall trying to figure out how to put on pantyhose when someone banged on the door.
My heart dropped to the floor, “How could this be happening?!”. I was about to hastily scramble and get dressed – sans stockings – when the person identified themselves as the cleaner. I mumbled something and pulled those stockings on as fast as I was able to. Anxious beads of sweat were dripping down my face as I realized I was late meeting my mom, and rushed out to the car.
I could feel the pantyhose brushing against my pant legs, and in the car ride home I kept pushing down my socks to feel the texture of these divine encasings, riding the thrill of a desire achieved for the rest of the afternoon.
I’ve never felt such a heightened level of excitement at purchasing woman’s clothes before. Perhaps the energy was sexual, but this was before I had any experience or knowledge of what a sexual experience would entail. I was a naively innocent pre-pubescent boy who had re-discovered the wonderful world of femininity.
I won’t bore you with all the details as to how this pair of pantyhose caused me so much joy and tension. Wearing them, sleeping in them, stressing because I had to wash them without being discovered, finding a place to hide them so noone would discover them – as it turns out my calculator case was a fabulous hiding place 🙂
This was also the period where I began to derive sexual pleasure from woman’s clothes in one way or another. I won’t dwell on this, since just mentioning it has me blushing behind the luminescent screen of my laptop and anyway, this aspect is no longer an important part of my journey. I must admit eagerly looking forward to the time when the correct hormones are flowing through my body and such desires are under the controlling care of my mental and emotional faculties.
What do you recall about your first shopping experience for feminine finery?
More Articles by Vanessa Law
- 7 Essential Tips to Crossdressing
- Win a Free Makeup Prize Bundle from Jecca Blac
- A Few Changes in Our Family
- I Want to Live Like That
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness
thanks for your kind story hon its been wounderful to see and hear others that are like me , sometimes to much,if you know what i mean. So that means there are more then i thought out there and maybe i will get to meet some of these ladies some time and form bonds with . Well thanks and see around.
Around 7 yrs of age,after my mother had encouraged me to experience the feel of both her old stockings as well as my sister's clothes,I really wanted my own tights and leotard..I was really fixated on them.Finally.there was a school play and I got to go buy[with mom's help]dark green tights and a dark green leotard.In the play,there were other boys dressed the same..guess it isn't so sissie when there are othersLOL.Anyway,I was then the happy owner[at a young age] of girl clothes that made me feel so great..This is why I feel that dressing is something that we are… Read more »
the first time i crossdressed i was about 11 found a pair of my mums panties in the washing basket!havent looked backed since!!then i started sneeking her clean ones out her draw then moved onto dresses and her heels!!im now 20 and still wearing her underwear!!i have been caught a few times though!but she dosnt mind aslong i dont make a mess in them!!lol.and have recently started buying my own!!
Teenage years eh? If science invented some way to turn the body clock back, there's no way I'd want to live through that time again 🙂 Spots, hormones, body hair – ugh 😀 Your comment about not identifying strong with either camp struck a chord. Not quite tough enough to hang with the lads and yet not 'in' with the girls either. Still, it could have been worse! I remember my first purchase; a set of stockings (how cliche!) from a little shop in a market place. The lady who ran the shop was very helpful and helped me pick… Read more »
I was about 9-10 at the time and I wanted a pair of nylons and something to hodls them up. I was shopping downtown by myself and I went into a store and found what I wanted and bought it. It was money I made from my paper route. It made my heart race thinking of just how they would feel all the way home on the bus. I remember wearing them under my cloths when I went to the circus that year. But I was already wearing panties that I bought mail order the year before. My mother intercepted… Read more »
When I was in my teens, I would steal my younger sister's clothing and wear her panties, trainer bras, sometimes even dresses and pink t-shirts. My inner image of myself that was and still is how I'd like to see myself when I finish transition was developed during my teens and now, since having gotten into anime – my ideal image has me looking like Yomi from Azumanga Daioh. In fact, when I first saw her, she looked exactly like that but wearing a blue sundress. I'm closer to that than I ever have been but I still need to… Read more »
When I had achieved puberty, sometime around the age of 12, my supply of feminine clothing items consisted of wearing my mother's panties, girdle and stockings. From there it advanced to borrowing secretly from the lingerie drawers of my mother's friends, or from my friends mother's and sisters. I began to experience sexual excitement imaging these different women in my mind, and knowing that I was properly wearing what they had worn. It was very satisfying to me, to gain knowledge of the different styles, shades of colors, that I should as a girl, be buying for myself. I was… Read more »
I would like to clarify what I had written above concerning sexual excitement. I have never been sure in my own mind, weather wearing feminine items of clothing and becoming sexually excited, in any way took from my feelings of being feminine? I have read comments from others, that if you became sexually excited by wearing panties, etc..you were just experiencing a pantie fetish….you somehow were not on the path of feminiity. In addressing this, I feel every young boy, either before puberty, or after, who begins to feel himself directed towards femininty, will begin to experiement with different items… Read more »
Teens! I was babysitting and had tried on this fabulous pair of panties. Silk with rose appliques on them. Wouldn't you know it the mother came home early. I ended up leaving with her panties on and had to change out of them on my way home so my mother wouldn't find out. I also got caught driving my parents car while they were both out of town. No drivers license dressed in one of my mother's shifts and appropriate undergarments. Fortunately the shore patrol let me off the hook. My parents would have killed me if they found out.… Read more »
That obsession to wear pantyhose and the "electric" sensation the texture produced is etched in my memories. I was confused, bewildered, and guilt-ridden. But i needed those pantyhose, I wore them under my pants all day and "love the feel" as they rubbed against my thighs. It was cyclical in nature, with long-ebbs in my compulsion but over the years the down times faded,